Ngaba Uyaziva Zonke Iimvakalelo Ngaxeshanye? Zama Ukwamkela Usana

Umxholo

• Ukuqonda iimvakalelo
• Kuyothusa - kodwa kuqhelekile?
• Uncedo lweengxaki zasemva kokubeleka

Ukuba nosana kugcwele ukungqubana kunye nokutshintsha kwemvakalelo. Ukwazi ukuba ulindele ntoni-kwaye nini ukufumana uncedo-kunokukunceda uhambe ngeentsuku zokuqala zobuzali.

Ngu-3 kusasa umntwana elila. Kwakhona. Ndiyalila. Kwakhona.

Andiboni tu ngamehlo am ukuba banzima kakhulu kukudinwa. Iinyembezi zayizolo ziye zaqaqamba ecaleni komgca wesivalo, ndincamathelisa imivumbo yam kunye.

Ndiva ukuduma esiswini sakhe. Ndiyoyika apho kuya khona. Kungenzeka ukuba ndimbuyisele ezantsi, kodwa ke ndiyayiva. Kufuneka ndiyitshintshe ilweyile. Kwakhona.

Oku kuthetha ukuba siyakuphakama kwenye iyure okanye ezimbini. Kodwa, masinyaniseke. Nokuba ebengatshongo, ngekhe ndikwazi ukuphinda ndilale. Phakathi koxinzelelo lokulinda ukuba avuselele kwakhona kunye nonogumbe wezinto eziza kukhukula ingqondo yam mzuzu xa ndivala amehlo am, akukho "kulala xa umntwana elele." Ndiva uxinzelelo kolu lindelo kwaye ngequbuliso, ndiyalila. Kwakhona.

Ndiva ukuncwina komyeni wam. Kukho ukuvutha komsindo ngaphakathi kum. Ngesizathu esithile, ngalo mzuzu andikhumbuli ukuba yena ngokwakhe wayehleli kude kube yi-2 kusasa kwishifti yokuqala. Into endinokuyiva ngumsindo wam wokuba alale ngoku kanye xa ndifuna njalo. Nditsho nenja iyarhona. Wonke umntu ubonakala ngathi uza kulala kodwa mna.

Ndilalise umntwana phezu kwe tafile yotshintsha. Ukhwankqiswa kukutshintsha kobushushu. Ndikhanyisa isibane sasebusuku. Amehlo akhe e-almond avulekile. Ubuso obungenamazinyo busasazeka ebusweni bakhe xa endibona. Ukhwaza yimincili.

Ngephanyazo, yonke into iyatshintsha.

Nokuba yintoni ukucaphuka, usizi, ukudinwa, inzondo, usizi, ukuba bendiziva ndinyibilika. Kwaye ngequbuliso, ndiyahleka. Ukuhleka ngokupheleleyo.

Ndiphakamise umntwana ndimgone asondele kum. Ugoqa iingalo zakhe ezincinci entanyeni yam kunye neengono kumngxunya wegxalaba lam. Ndiyalila, kwakhona. Kodwa ngeli xesha, ziinyembezi zovuyo olusulungekileyo.

Kumntu obukeleyo, iimvakalelo ezinokuqengqeleka ezinokuvela kumzali omtsha zinokubonakala ngathi azilawuleki okanye ziyayingxaki. Kodwa emntwaneni onosana, oku kuza nomhlaba. Obu bubuzali!

Abantu bahlala besithi "lelona xesha lide, elifutshane," Ewe, lelona xesha linzima, nelona likhulu.

Ukuqonda iimvakalelo

Ndihleli nexhala eliqhelekileyo lokuxhalaba ubomi bam bonke kwaye ndivela kusapho apho ukugula ngengqondo (ngakumbi ukuphazamiseka kwemood) kuxhaphakileyo, kungoko kuyothusa ngamanye amaxesha indlela iimvakalelo zam ezijija ngayo.

Ndihlala ndizibuza-ingaba ndikwizigaba zokuqala zokudakumba emva kokubeleka xa ndingayeki ukulila?

Okanye ngaba ndiziva ndidandathekile, njengotatomkhulu wam, xa ndiziva ndidinwe kakhulu kangangokuba ukubuyisela umhlobo okanye umyalezo wefowuni uziva ungenakwenzeka?

Okanye ngaba ndikhulisa ixhala lezempilo, kuba ndihlala ndiqinisekile ukuba umntwana uyagula?

Okanye ngaba ndinengxaki yomsindo, xa ndiziva ndinomsindo ngakwindoda yam ngenxa yento encinci, njengendlela ifolokhwe yakhe ebambene ngayo nesitya sakhe, esoyika ukuvusa umntwana?

Okanye ngaba ndiye ndanyanzeleka ukuba ndinyanzele, njengomntakwethu, xa ndingakwazi ukuyeka ukulungisa ukulala komntwana kwaye ndifuna indlela yakhe yobusuku ukuba ichane ngokugqithileyo?

Ngaba ixhala lam liphezulu ngokungaqhelekanga, xa ndikhathazwa yinto yonke ngokuhlala ndiqinisekisa ukuba indlu, iibhotile kunye nezinto zokudlala zicocwe ngokufanelekileyo, ukuze ixhala lokuba amajoni akhe omzimba awazukwakha ukuba izinto zicoceke kakhulu?

Ukusuka ekubeni nexhala lokuba akatyi ngokwaneleyo, ukuza kuthi ga ngoku ube nexhala lokuba utya kakhulu.

Ukusuka ekukhathazekeni ukuba uvuka rhoqo emva kwemizuzu engama-30, de ube nexhala lokuba "uyaphila?" xa elala ixesha elide.

Ukusuka ekukhathazeni ukuba uthule kakhulu, emva koko ukhathazeke ngokuba uyathandeka kakhulu.

Ukusuka ekukhathazekeni wenza ingxolo ngaphezulu nangaphezulu, ukuzibuza ukuba loo ngxolo iye phi?

Ukusuka ekukhathazekeni isigaba ngekhe kuphele, ungaze ufune ukuba kuphele.

Rhoqo iimvakalelo zedichotomy azizukwenzeka kuphela ukusuka kusuku olunye ukuya kolandelayo, kodwa kwimizuzu nje embalwa. Njengaleyo yokukhwela inqanawa yepirate kwindawo efanelekileyo ejika ukusuka kwelinye icala ukuya kwelinye.

Kuyothusa - kodwa kuqhelekile?

Inokothusa. Ukungalindeleki kweemvakalelo. Ndandixhalabile ngakumbi xa ndinikwa imbali yosapho lwam kunye notyekelo loxinzelelo.

Kodwa xa ndiqala ukufikelela kunethiwekhi yam yenkxaso, ukusuka kwiphilisi yam ukuya kwabanye abazali, ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba kwiimeko ezininzi uninzi lweemvakalelo esiba nazo ngeentsuku zokuqala zomntwana wokuqala ayisiyonto iqhelekileyo kuphela, kulindeleke!

Kukho into eqinisekisayo esazi ukuba sonke siyadlula kuyo. Xa ndidiniwe kwaye ndinenzondo ngentsimbi yesi-4 ukondla umntwana, ndisazi ukuba kukho abanye oomama nootata ngaphandle abavakalelwa yinto efanayo iyanceda. Andinguye umntu ombi. Ndingumama nje omtsha.

Ewe akusoloko kuluhlaza okosana okanye amaxesha eemvakalelo zobuzali bokuqala. Inyani yile, kwabanye abazali, ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo emva kokubeleka kuyinyani. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubalulekile, ukuba nawe ubuza ukuba iimvakalelo zakho ziqhelekile na, ukuthetha nomntu omthandayo okanye ingcali kwezonyango ukufuna uncedo.

Uncedo lweengxaki zasemva kokubeleka

• I-Postpartum Support International (i-PSI) ibonelela ngomnxeba onengxaki (800-944-4773) kunye nenkxaso yombhalo (503-894-9453), kunye nokudluliselwa kubaboneleli bendawo.
• I-Lifeline Prevention of Lifeline yeLizwe ine-24/7 yasimahla yokufumana uncedo kubantu abakwingxaki abanokucinga ngokuthatha ubomi babo. Tsalela umnxeba ku-800-273-8255 okanye uthumele umyalezo othi “MOLO” ku-741741.
• Umanyano lweLizwe kuZifo lweNgqondo (i-NAMI) sisixhobo esinomnxeba weengxaki zomnxeba (800-950-6264) kunye nomnxeba osisicatshulwa ("NAMI" ukuya ku-741741) kuye nabani na ofuna uncedo kwangoko.
• Ukuqondwa komama yindawo eku-intanethi eqalwe ngumntu osindayo emva kokubeleka enikezela ngezixhobo ze-elektroniki kunye neengxoxo zeqela nge-mobile app.
• Iqela leNkxaso kaMama linikezela ngenkxaso yoontanga simahla kwiifowuni zoom ezikhokelwa ngabaququzeleli abaqeqeshiweyo.

Ukuba ngumzali yeyona nto inzima ndikhe ndayenza, kwaye yeyona nto izalisekisayo kwaye iyamangalisa endakha ndenza, nayo. Ngokunyaniseka, ndicinga ukuba imiceli mngeni ngezo ntsuku zangaphambili yenza amaxesha okonwaba atyebe ngakumbi.

Ithini loo nto indala? Ukuba mkhulu umgudu, ngaba umvuzo uya kuba mnandi? Ewe kunjalo, ujonge ubuso bencinci yam ngoku, ulungile darn uswiti, akukho mzamo uyimfuneko.

USarah Ezrin ngumkhuthazi, umbhali, utitshala weyoga kunye nomqeqeshi katitshala weyoga. Ngokusekwe eSan Francisco, apho ahlala khona nomyeni wakhe kunye nenja yabo, uSara utshintsha umhlaba, efundisa ukuzithanda kumntu omnye ngexesha. Ngolwazi oluthe kratya ngoSarah ndwendwela iwebhusayithi, www.samzlongoza.com.