'Olona Loser Olukhulu' Umqeqeshi u-Erica Lugo Kwisizathu Sokuba Ukutya Ukuphulukana Nesiphazamiso Kuyimpi Yobomi Bonke

Umxholo

• Uphengululo lwe

U-Erica Lugo angathanda ukubeka irekhodi ngokuthe tye: Wayengekho kwingxaki yokutya kwakhe ngelixa ebonakala njengomqeqeshi Eyona mpazamo inkulu ngo-2019. Umqeqeshi wokuqina komzimba, nangona kunjalo, wayefumana uthotho lweengcinga eziphazamisayo wazibona njengengxaki kwaye zinokuba yingozi.

Ukubheja nokucoca yinto endiyenzileyo ixesha elingaphantsi konyaka, ngaphezulu kweminyaka emihlanu eyadlulayo, utshilo. "Inye into ekhutshwe ngamajelo eendaba kwimeko yokuba ndandinengxaki yokutya xa ndandikumboniso - andizange ndiphathwe kukuphazamiseka kokutya okusebenzayo kulo mboniso, ndaphathwa ziingcinga zokuphazamiseka kokutya. Kukho umahluko omkhulu.Njengomntu owayenengxaki yokutya, kukho umbhiyozo entlokweni yakho xa ufike unyaka ungazihlambulukanga.Ndingakhala kuba ndibhiyozela iminyaka emihlanu- ndaze ndafunda inqaku elithi ndisenayo Iphantse yangathi yimpama ebusweni kuwo wonke umsebenzi onzima endiwenzileyo. "

Nangona uLugo ezithatha ekhululekile kwiindlela zokuzingxala kunye nokucoca ezinxulumene ne-bulimia, akakhuselekanga kuxinzelelo loluntu okanye ulindelo olungekho ngqiqweni olubekwe kubaqeqeshi ukuba balingane nobuhle obubambekayo. Ke xa i-Instagram troll ishiye uluvo kwenye yezithuba zayo kwiiveki ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo, waziva enyanzelekile ukuyithetha esidlangalaleni. Ingxelo ekuthethwa ngayo? "Ubonakala umkhulu kwaye ungahlulwanga. Kumntu otya impilo kwaye asebenze kakhulu umkhulu. Ungafuna ukungabi ngumqeqeshi wezempilo." (Eyeleleneyo: Intshukumo enye egqibeleleyo: Uthotho lwePlank luka-Erica Lugo)

ULugo uthi i-barb ngokwayo yayingeyodwa. Wayehamba engakhange amkelwe kwaye engazi nto ngomzimba wakhe ukusukela oko waphulukana neepawundi ezingaphezu kwe-150, wasinda kwisifo sokuxilongwa ngumhlaza we-thyroid, waguqula ubomi bakhe waba ngumqeqeshi oqinisekisiweyo kwi-platform yoqeqesho kwi-Intanethi, uErica Love Fit- ngalo lonke elixesha ebhala amava akhe kwimidiya yoluntu. Kodwa xa evuka kula mazwi ekuqaleni kwale nyanga, wayibona njengomzuzu onokufundiseka.

"Xa umntu ethetha esithi ndimkhulu kwaye ngekhe ndibengumqeqeshi wezempilo, bendicinga ukuba lixesha lokuba ndithethe nendlovu egumbini," utshilo. "Ndifumene i-10 yeepawundi okoko ndenza umboniso bhanyabhanya kwisithuba seminyaka emibini kuba ndibuyele kunyango ngenxa yezo ngxaki zokutya. Kwakufuneka ndisebenze kwiingcinga nakwizenzo. Omnye umntu akanakuba yi-bulimic okanye i-anorexic, abanazo iingcinga okanye bafuna ukucoca ukutya okanye bathintele ukutya okanye basebenze okanye babanjiwe njengekhoboka leengcinga zabo zokungatyi. Abahambi nje. "

Ekujongeni kwakhona, uLugo unokubona iimpawu ezicacileyo zokulumkisa ukuba ingqondo yakhe yayiqala ukubuyela kumhlaba ongalunganga, nangona engakhange enze kwiminqweno yokuzibandakanya kwiimpawu zokuziphatha ze-bulimic.

"Ukuba ulahla naluphi na uhlobo lobunzima, uhlala woyika ukuba buya kwakhona kwaye uhlala usebenza ukugcina ukulahleka kobunzima bakho," utshilo. "Ndinexinzelelo lwangaphakathi lwam, 'oh shit, ngoku ngoku kufuneka ndiyigcine le nto.' Ndandibala yonke into encinci endiyityayo kwaye ndisebenza iintsuku ezintandathu ngeveki kwaye ndifumana amanyathelo e-X ngemini.Yayingeyonto iqhelekileyo, 'oh ndifuna ukuhamba ndize nditye kakuhle,' yayingu, 'hayi, Erica, wena Ndifuna ukwenza oku, 'kwaye ayinguye lo mntu.Ndingumntu onje,' ngoku xa ulahlekelwe bubunzima, qiniseka ukuba ubugcina ngokuhambisa umzimba kunye nokutya okunempilo, kwaye ukuba uneqhekeza ipitsa, uneqatha lepitsa kwaye uyaqhubeka. ' Yiyo loo nto ndithe ndakugqiba umboniso ndafuna uncedo kwakhona kuba ukuba ndithi, 'kufuneka uyeke kwii-calories ze-X okanye ubethe u-X inani lekhalori litshise kwiwotshi yakho,' ayisiyonto eqhelekileyo kum, kwaye bendisazi ukuba kuya kuba njalo. i-snowball kwiindlela zokuziphatha zakudala ukuba ndiyayiyeka."

Ukholelwa ekubeni ubunzima beepawundi ezili-10 emva kokubuyela kunyango ekuqaleni kwalo nyaka yayikukubuyiselwa okusempilweni. Yayisisiphumo sokubuyela kwindawo yozinzo emva kokuba engqongqo kakhulu ngokubala kweekhalori kunye nokuzilolonga.

U-Lugo waqala wafuna unyango phantse kwiminyaka emithandathu eyadlulayo xa wayebetheka kwaye ehlambulula rhoqo. "Besele ndibulahlile bonke ubunzima, kwaye bendinobudlelwane obubi ngokwasemphefumlweni," utshilo. "Eli yayilixesha apho i-Instagram yayisele iqalile ukuthatha, abantu baqala ukunikela ingqalelo 'kwabaphembeleli,' kwaye 'ukukhwela' kwiimpembelelo zaba yinto enkulu ngokwenene. Phakathi kweengcinezelo zolu budlelwane buxhatshazayo ngokweemvakalelo - ubudlelwane bokuqala ndingathanda. Ndihleli ukusukela oko ndiqhawule umtshato [ngo-2014] - kwaye ndidlule kolu tshintsho lukhulu lomzimba, ndiye ndaqala ukufunda ezi zimvo zoyikekayo ze-intanethi kwaye zandinyanzela ukuba ndifune indawo yokuphuma. "

Uqhubeke wathi, "Kulapho ke le ngxaki yokutya yavela phantse kwiminyaka emithandathu eyadlulayo. Ndayigcina iyimfihlo, yahlala kancinci ngaphantsi konyaka, kwaye yaphela kuba ndandisoyika ngokunyanisekileyo impilo yam. Intliziyo yam yaqala ukubhabha kancinci, kwaye yandoyikisa. " (I-binge-and-purge cycles ye-bulimia ingakhokelela ekungalinganiyo kwe-electrolyte kunye neekhemikhali ezinokuchaphazela ukusebenza kwentliziyo, ngokwe-National Eating Disorder Association.)

Nangona unyango lwamnceda uLugo ekugqibeleni wahlukana nokuziphatha kwe-bulimia, ukufunyaniswa kwakhe ngumhlaza kunye nesaqhwithi somsebenzi owalandelayo samsusa ingqalelo yakhe ekuzinyamekeleni okuqhubekayo. "Ndafunyaniswa ndinomhlaza kusuku olulandelayo emva kombulelo ngo-2018, ndenziwa utyando ngoJanuwari 2019, ngemitha ngoMatshi 2019, emva koko ndaqala ngo Eyona mpazamo inkulu Ngo-Agasti ka-2019," utshilo. iipateni ziqale ukubuya. Ndayiyeka yahamba isithuba esingaphezu konyaka [kwaye ndiyacinga] yiloo nto eyenze yabuya kuba ndandingazinyamekeli ngokwam nengqondo yam. Iya kubonisa nje nokuba unganasiphi isiyobisi okanye umzabalazo onawo, yinto ekufuneka uyikhathalele kuba ingabuya ukuba awuyenzi. "

U-Lugo waqala ukuqaphela ukuba ingqondo yakhe ibuyela endaweni ephazamisayo ngelixa esenza umboniso bhanyabhanya, kodwa wakwazi ukugcina indlela aziphethe ngayo, ebiza izixhobo awayeziphuhlisile kuyo yonke iminyaka yakhe yokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo. Nangona kunjalo, isilingo sokubuyela kwezi ndlela zokuziphatha sasisoyikeka.

“Yayingeloxinzelelo lwamntu ngaphandle kolwam, kwaye eneneni wonke umntu kumboniso, ukusuka kubavelisi ukuya kuthungelwano, yayimangalisa kwaye yayisoloko indenza ndizive ndimhle kwaye ndimhle,” utshilo. "Ndazibeka phantsi koxinzelelo kwaye ezo ngcinga zaqala ukubuya. Ndaye ndayeka unyango ngenxa yokuba ndandiziva ngathi ndiphantsi kolawulo. Kodwa into abantu abangayiqondiyo kukuba, unokuba ungenayo ingxaki yokutya, kodwa ezo ngcinga. Yinto eza kukukhathaza ubomi bakho bonke.Iphantse yafana nomtyholi omncinci entlokweni yam kwaye xa ndijonga ukutya okuthile, usathana uya kuthi, ngokulula, 'okanye' hey, yitya le nto uyihlambe kamva-akukho mntu uya kuyazi. ' Kwaye yile nto-ndifumana i-goosebumps nokuba ndiyithetha ngoku kuba andikaze ndithethe ngokuphandle ngayo. " (Idibeneyo: Indlela iCoronavirus Lockdown enokuchaphazela ngayo ukubuyiswa kweengxaki zokutya-kunye nento ongayenza ngayo)

Ukuguquka kwangempela okwaphefumlela uLugo ukuba afune inkxaso kwakhona kwafika emva kosuku olunzima kakhulu kwisethi. Uthi: “Ndandidiniwe. “Ibilusuku oluziiyure ezili-15, besiphulukene nomceli mngeni, kwaye bendisemtsha ekwenzeni ifilimu - akukho mntu waziyo ukuba ndikulo mboniso, kungoko kuye kwafuneka ndiyigcine iyimfihlo ukuze ndingabinamntu wokuthetha naye. kuba bekufuneka ndiyibeke phantsi kwe-wraps, ndatya i-pizza kuba sasinazo ezi snacks zasebusuku ziseti, kwaye kwindlela yam yokugoduka, eyayimalunga nemizuzu engama-45, ndahlala ndicinga, 'ungaya ekhaya kwaye uhlambulule kwaye. Akukho mntu uya kwazi. ' Ndaye ndahlala kwigumbi lokuhlambela amadolo endibeke esifubeni ubusuku bonke, ndicinga nje, 'Erica, usebenze iminyaka emihlanu, kutheni ezi ngcinga zibuya nje?' Ukubuya kwam kwimiboniso bhanyabhanya nakukhenketho lwamajelo eendaba, bendisazi ukuba kufuneka ndibuyele kunyango.

Kwabakho olunye utshintsho olothusayo lweziganeko ezityhalele uLugo ngasemva kunyango, naye. “Omnye owayesakuba yintombi yomyeni wam uye wasweleka ngenxa yokungatyi kakuhle kunyaka ophelileyo,” utshilo. "Usweleke eneminyaka engama-38 ubudala. Akufanelekanga ukwenziwa. Xa ndenza iminyaka emihlanu ndacoca kwaye wasweleka kulo nyaka uphelileyo, ibiyinto enkulu yokuvuka kwam ukuba ndiqhubeke nokuchacha. kunye nohambo lwam kunye nokwabelana ngalo nabantu."

Xa ubhubhane wahlasela, uLugo wasebenzisa ikhefu eligunyazisiweyo kwindlela yakhe yobuchwephesha ukuze aphinde azibophelele ekuphilisweni kwakhe. "Ndandinalo lonke elo xesha ndinikezela kunyango lwe-Intanethi," utshilo. "Ke okokuvalwa kokona kuxa ndibuyele kunyango kuba ayikaze ihambe. Kungenxa yokuba unazo zonke izixhobo akuthethi ukuba, 'kulungile ihambile."

U-Lugo uthi kulo nyaka unesiqingatha uphelileyo, ukwazile ukufumana unyawo lwakhe kwakhona malunga nokulwa neengcinga zokuphazamiseka kokutya. "Ndikwindawo eyonwabileyo kwaye esempilweni kwaye andiselilo ibanjwa ekukhetheni ukutya okanye ndisebenza ngalo lonke ixesha kuba ndiyaluyeka olo xinzelelo," utshilo. "Ndicinga ukuba lixesha lokuba ndivule kwaye ndifuna ukuzisa ngakumbi ulwazi kunye nokukhanya kule nto kuba ndiyazi ukuba ndihlupheke ndithule, andinakucinga ukuba bangaphi abanye abantu abahluphekayo ngokuthula." (Inxulumene: Uhambo luka-Erica Lugo loTyekelo lokuThoba uMzimba lumenza abe ngomnye wabaqeqeshi abaDumileyo)

Ngaphandle kokuvuka kweengcinga eziphazamisekileyo ngexesha lokufota, uLugo uthi ulixabisile iqonga Eyona mpazamo inkulu uye wamnika. "Ndinombulelo kakhulu ukufika kumdlalo weqonga kuba okokuqala, bekukho umqeqeshi owayengenazo iipakethi ezintandathu kunye nababenolusu oluvulekileyo kwaye wayengengobungakanani 0 okanye 2, utshilo. "Kwakuphambene nesiqhelo, kwaye bendinemincili ngaloo nto. Xa sihamba kwimithombo yeendaba zentlalo, sihlala sisiva, 'yinto ebonakalayo kwaye awuboni emva kwemiboniso,' kwaye abantu baqala ukuqaphela ukuba ndibeke ubunzima okoko bendikumabonwakude, kodwa into abayiqondiyo kukuba ndingoyena mntu wonwabileyo kwaye ndisempilweni kunanini na ngaphambili, kwaye abaqondi ukuba zininzi iimfazwe ezahlukeneyo abantu abazifundisayo kwaye bazigcina ngokwabo."

Kwabanye abanokuba banengxaki yokutya okanye naluphi na uhlobo lweengcinga ezinengxaki kunye nokuziphatha malunga nokutya, umthambo, ubunzima, okanye umfanekiso womzimba, uLugo ucebisa ukuba bafune izixhobo, ezifana ne-NEDA. “Elinye lamabinzana endiwathandayo lelo, ‘ukugula kuphumelela emfihlakalweni,’ kwaye okukhona ugcina imfihlelo kuwe kwaye ukwala ukufuna uncedo, kokukhona kuya kuba nzima ukuba ngowona lonwabo, usempilweni ngakumbi,” utshilo. "Kwaye ukuba sempilweni" akuthethi ubungakanani beebhulukhwe; kuthetha ukuba uphila njani? Uthanda njani wena ngokwakho? Okanye ngaba ugula ngasese? Unokufuna uncedo kwaye wonke umntu uyasokola ukuya kwinqanaba elithile, nokuba oko kuthetha ukuthintela iikhalori okanye ukuzilolonga yonke imihla okanye ukuba uneanorexia okanye i-bulimia. Kubaluleke kakhulu, ngakumbi ngeqonga endinalo, ukuba ndivuleleke kwaye ndinyaniseke malunga naloo nto. "

Ukuba unengxaki yokuphazamiseka kwindlela otya ngayo, ungatsalela umnxeba kule nombolo ingahlawulelwayo (800) -931-2237, ncokola nomntu ku-myneda.org/helpline-chat, okanye ubhalele i-NEDA ku-741-741 Inkxaso yeengxaki ezingama-24/7.

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