Owona mcimbi mkhulu ngesondo akukho mntu uthetha ngawo

Umxholo

• Yintoni ukungasebenzi ngokwesondo kwabasetyhini?
• Iimpawu zeTelltale
• Ukuwa kwi-HSDD
• Kutheni iTaboo
• Kodwa uza kuthini ukuba upholile ngokungabinantlobano zesini?
• Ukujongana njani na ukuba ucinga ukuba unokuba ne-HSDD
• Uphengululo lwe

Xa kuziwa kwisondo, mhlawumbi ufunda kwaye uve okuninzi malunga nezikhundla ezitsha zokuzama, itekhnoloji yokudlala yesondo yamva nje, kunye nendlela yokuba ne-orgasm engcono. Inye into *akuva kakhulu* ngayo? Abasetyhini-ingakumbi abasetyhini abancinci-abangekho ngokwenene bonke abanomdla wokuba neentlobano zesini. Uninzi lwabantu luyazi ukuba kuqhelekile ukuba utshintsho lwehomoni ludibanise ngesondo ngexesha lokuya exesheni, kodwa ubusazi ukuba ukuqhuba ngesondo esisezantsi yeyona nto ixhaphakileyo kubafazi be-premenopausal, nabo? Kuphando olutshanje olwenziwa yi-American Sexual Health Association (ASHA) ngenkxaso evela kuValeant, inkampani yamachiza, i-48 ipesenti yabasetyhini be-premenopausal (abaneminyaka eyi-21 ukuya kwi-49) bathi i-sex drive yabo yayiphantsi ngoku kunangaphambili. Uyaphambana, akunjalo? Aba ayingobafazi abangazange babe ne-sex drive. Ngabantu abanako ngandlela ithile ilahlekile yona. Kwaye ukuba phantse isiqingatha sabasetyhini kweli qela leminyaka bahlangabezana nale nto, kutheni singathethi ngayo ngakumbi? Masiqale i-convo ngoku.

Yintoni ukungasebenzi ngokwesondo kwabasetyhini?

Ngokungafaniyo nokungasebenzi kakuhle kwe-erectile, eyaziwa ngumntu wonke malunga nayo (enkosi, intengiso yeViagra), ukungasebenzi kakuhle kwabasetyhini ngokwesini (FSD) ngokuqinisekileyo akuxoxwa ngako ngokubanzi. Nangona kunjalo i-40 pesenti yabasetyhini baya kubandezeleka kuyo ngandlela-thile ngexesha lobomi babo, ngokutsho kophononongo olupapashwe kwi Ijenali yaseMelika ye-Obstetrics kunye neGynecology. Kukho iintlobo ezininzi ze-FSD, kubandakanya imicimbi ngomnqweno, ukuvusa inkanuko, kunye neentlungu, ngokobuhlobo obusondeleyo kunye nobuchwephesha kwezesondo uPepper Schwartz, Ph.D., umbhali kunye nonjingalwazi kwezentlalo kwiYunivesithi yaseWashington. Ngelixa yonke le micimbi ibalulekile ukujongana nayo xa ivela, ukunqongophala komnqweno wesini, okwabizwa ngokuba kukungaziphathi kakuhle ngokwesini (HSDD), yeyona nto ixhaphakileyo, ichaphazela phantse abafazi abazizigidi ezine eMelika.

Iimpawu zeTelltale

Ukuba uyazibuza ukuba yintoni eyenza i-HSDD yahluke ekubeni ingabikho "kwimood," kukho indlela ecacileyo yokuxelela. "Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba uyazingisa," ucacisa uSchwartz. Ngelixa wonke umntu enamahla-ndinyuka kunye namava okuziva ngathi awonwabanga kwaye hayi kangako-kwithuba leenyanga ezimbalwa-ukuya kwiinyanga kunye neenyanga ngexesha ngaphandle kokufuna ukwabelana ngesondo luphawu oluhle olucacileyo lokuba ikhona into, uthi. Ewe kunjalo, izinto ezifana noxinzelelo, iingxaki zobudlelwane, imiba yomsebenzi, ukugula, kunye namayeza anokuba nefuthe kwi-sex drive yakho, ngoko ke ukuphelisa ezo zinto yinxalenye enkulu yokufumana uxilongo. Kodwa uSchwartz ucacisa ukuba "ukuba uyabona ukuba inkanuko iyafuna kwaye unqwenela wena isetyenzisiwe Ukuziva kuphelile kwaye kuyaqhubeka kwaye uya ukhathazeka ngakumbi ngayo, lixesha lokuba uye kuthetha nomnikezeli wezempilo kwaye ubacele ukuba benze uluhlu lokuhlola lweklinikhi ukubona ukuba yintoni engalunganga. "

Ukuwa kwi-HSDD

Ngokucacileyo, i-HSDD ichaphazela ubomi bakho bobulili, kodwa iyakwazi ukungena kwezinye iindawo zobomi babasetyhini, yingakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukuphakamisa ulwazi malunga nayo, uthi uSchwartz. "Ukuziphatha kwethu ngokwesondo akungeni kwibhokisi encinci emnyama oyifaka kwidrowa kwaye uyikhuphe kwaye uyikhuphe. Yinxalenye yokuba singobani kwaye yinxalenye yendlela esiziva ngayo ngathi," utsho. Zimbini izinto eziphambili ezenzekayo xa owasetyhini ene-HSDD, ngokukaSchwartz. Okokuqala, ukuzithemba kwakhe kunokuhla kuba unokucinga ukuba kukho into engalunganga kuye kwaye le nto ahlangabezana nayo ayiqhelekanga kwaphela, okanye imbi kakhulu, sisiphoso sakhe. Okwesibini, inokuchaphazela ubudlelwane bomfazi (ukuba ukwenye), kwaye ide yenze iqabane lakhe libuze ukuthanda kwakhe. Xa ukuzithemba kwakho kunye nolwalamano lwakho lungakhuselekanga, inokuchaphazela yonke into ukusuka emsebenzini ukuya kubahlobo, kubangele indlela engaphezulu kunokwabelana ngesondo rhoqo. (I-FYI, ngokuqhelekileyo, abafazi baziva be-horny ngeyure eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo kunamadoda.)

Kutheni iTaboo

Uphando lwe-ASHA lufumanise ukuba iipesenti ezingama-82 zabasetyhini abahlangabezana neekhrayitheriya ze-FSD bakholelwa ukuba kufuneka babone umboneleli wezempilo, kodwa ziipesenti ezi-4 kuphela abaye baphuma baya kuthetha nengcali ngayo. Ukuba abafazi kholwa bafuna uncedo, kutheni bengalufumani?

Ewe, *kusenokuthi* kunento yokwenza nendlela isini esiboniswa nesigqalwa ngayo kwibutho lanamhlanje. Ukwabelana ngesondo ngamanye amaxesha kunzima ngakumbi kunokuba sinikezela ngetyala, ngakumbi ngoku sinemvume yokuba neentlobano zesini, utshilo uSchwartz. Kuyamangalisa ukuba abantu bavulelekile malunga nokuziphatha kwabo ngokwesini kunanini na ngaphambili, kodwa oku kunokushiya abafazi benokungaziphathi kakuhle ngokwesondo. "Sixelela abantu ukuba isondo siyamangalisa kwaye sisenza sibonakale silula. Sinayo le mizekelo efana 50 Izithunzi zeGrey, apho umntu ephumelele kakhulu kukonwaba kwakhe ngokwesondo kwaye, oku kwenza ukuba abantu ababhinqileyo bajongane nalo mbandela bazive besoyikeka xa ingeyiyo le yenzekayo kubo, utshilo.

Ngaphezu, kubafazi kubudlelwane obunzulu, ukuthetha malunga nobomi babo ngokwesondo kunokwahluka ekuthetheni ngobomi besondo ngelixa uthandana. "Abasathethi nezintombi zabo malunga nokwabelana ngesondo njengakuqala kuba bexhalabile ukuba abazukubonwa" njengesiqhelo "kwaye bakhusela amaqabane abo, utshilo uSchwartz. "Abafuni ukuba ishishini labo elingokweemvakalelo kunye nesondo laziwe ngenxa yokuba libona linganyanisekanga." Leyo yinxalenye yesizathu sokuba uSchwartz kunye no-ASHA benze i-FindMySpark, indawo evumela abantu basetyhini ukuba bangafundi kuphela malunga neempawu, kunye nonyango lwe-FSD kodwa banxibelelane kwaye bafunde amabali avela kwabanye abahamba kwinto enye. "Okukhona sithetha ngayo, kokukhona," utshilo. "Kukho ibala, kwaye kufuneka sisebenze ngokuchasene nalo."

Kodwa uza kuthini ukuba upholile ngokungabinantlobano zesini?

Ke usenokuzibuza, "Kuthekani ngabafazi abangafuni ukwabelana ngesondo kwaye baphelele kuyo?" Ukucaca, i-asexual okanye ukuthatha ngocoselelo ukuthatha ikhefu kwimisebenzi yesondo ayiyo * into efanayo ne-HSDD. Iimpawu ezimbini zesiphazamiso zinomnqweno ongaphantsi ngokwesondo kunangaphambili (oku kuthetha ukuba ngokuqinisekileyo ubuqhele ukwenza i-sex drive) kwaye ukukhathazeka okanye ukukhathazeka malunga nayo. Ke ukuba awundabelani ngesondo kwaye wonwabile malunga nayo, akukho sizathu sokuba ukhululeke ukuba kukho into engalunganga.

Ngaphezu koko, kufuneka yamkelwe into yokuba ayisiyonto iyothusayo ukuba awufuni ukwabelana ngesondo njengeqabane lakho, ngakumbi ukuba iqabane lakho liyindoda. Zininzi iindlela ezibalulekileyo apho ukwahluka kwabasetyhini kunye namadoda. Ihlala icingelwa ukuba abantu basetyhini kunye namadoda bafuna ukulala ngesantya esifanayo, kodwa ngenxa yeemeko ezahlukeneyo zengqondo nezomzimba, akusoloko kunjalo. Inzululwazi ibonisa ukuba lo gama abafazi kunye nendoda isini drives unokuba namandla ngakumbi okanye ngaphantsi ngokuxhomekeke kumntu, kwiimeko ezininzi, amadoda acinga ngesondo ngakumbi, abafazi bhetyebhetye ngakumbi ngokwesondo, kunye nenkqubo ngokwasengqondweni abafazi badlula ukuba bavuswe yahlukile inkqubo amadoda aya kuyo. Lo mahluko ngokwendalo wenza ukungangqinelani kwimikhwa yokwabelana ngesondo kwabasetyhini kunye neyamadoda, ke ngelixa ukuthelekisa kunokuba kulinga, akuncedi ncam.

Leyo yinxalenye yesizathu sokuba uSchwartz agxininise ukuba xa kufikwa kubuninzi bezesondo, "Akukho nani liqhelekileyo kuwo wonke umntu. Abantu bajonge le mizekelo yokuba mangaphi amaxesha abanye abalala nawo ngesondo nokuba kukuqinisekisa okanye ukulinganisa malunga nobomi babo ngokwesondo kwaye Andiqondi ukuba iluncedo kakhulu, utshilo. Kodwa ukubona ukuba uwa kwisiphelo esisezantsi kakhulu esibonakalayo kwaye Ukuziva ubhudile malunga nayo kunokuba sisikhokelo sokuba kukho into eyenzekayo.

Ukujongana njani na ukuba ucinga ukuba unokuba ne-HSDD

Ngaphezu kwayo nantoni na, ukuthetha nogqirha okanye enye ingcali yezonyango okhululekileyo kunye nayo linyathelo lokuqala elihle lokubuyisela i-sex drive yakho. Kukho uluhlu lweendlela zokhetho ukusuka ekutshintsheni amayeza akho ngoku, ukuthatha amatsha, ukuzama unyango ngesondo. Ekupheleni kosuku, eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kukuqhelanisa i-FSD ukuya kuthi ga kwinqanaba lokuba abasetyhini bazive bekhululekile ukuyizisa kunye nabanikezeli babo bezempilo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, impilo yakho yesondo ichaphazela zonke iindawo zobomi bakho, ngokungafaniyo nempilo yakho yengqondo kunye nempilo yomzimba iyonke. Musa ukoyika ukuyinikela ingqalelo.

Uphengululo lwe