Ukuba nesifo esiDodobalisayo Undifundise ukuba nombulelo ngomzimba wam

Umxholo

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Ungandikhathazi, kodwa ndiza kuma phezu kwebhokisi yesepha ndize ndishumayele kancinci malunga nokuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba nombulelo. Ndiyazi ukuba usenokuqengqeleka ngamehlo-akukho mntu uthanda ukufundiswa-kodwa le bhokisi yesepha yokubulela ndimi kuyo inkulu, kwaye kunendawo eninzi apha phezulu. Ke ndiyathemba ukuba xa ndigqibile, uyakucinga ukuma apha kunye nam. (Izinxibo azikhethwanga, kodwa masithi isimbo sam sebhokisi yesepha yethiyori sibandakanya i-sequins, i-legwarmers, kunye ne-dope fishtail braid.)

Okokuqala, makhe ndikuchazele isizathu sokuba ndicinga ukuba ufanele undimamele.

Kwafunyaniswa ukuba ndinesifo sikaCrohn xa ndandineminyaka esi-7 ubudala. Ngelo xesha, ukuxilongwa kwakudideka, kodwa kwakuyi-NBD kuba andizange ndiyiqonde kakuhle into eyenzekayo kumncinci-okanye, ngokuchanekileyo, ewomileyo kunye nomzimba ophelileyo. Oogqirha bandibeka kwidosi ephezulu ye-steroids, kwaye ndabuyela kubomi bam obulula beklasi yesibini kwiintsuku ezimbalwa. Ndicinga ukuba singavuma sonke ukuba ubomi bebulula xa eyona nto ikukhathazayo yayiluvavanyo lwangomso lopelo.

Kwandithatha phantse amashumi amabini eminyaka ukuba ndibuqonde ngokupheleleyo ubunzulu besifo sam. Kuso sonke isikolo samabanga aphakamileyo kunye nekholeji, i-Crohn yam yayiza kugqabhuka, oko kuthetha ukuba ngequbuliso ndiza kuba neentlungu ezibuhlungu zesisu, urhudo oluhlala rhoqo kunye nolungxamisekileyo lwegazi (anditshongo ukuba le yayilusu. enomtsalane ibhokisi yesepha), umkhuhlane ophezulu, iintlungu zamalungu, kunye nokudinwa okumandla. Kodwa ezo steroids zinye ziya kundibuyisela ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngokufanelekileyo, kwaye ukunyaniseka, andizange ndithathe isifo sam ngokungathí sina. Kwakubangela buthathaka kancinci, kwaye emva koko ndingalibala ngayo okwethutyana. Khawucinge ngoku: Wophuka ingalo udlala imidlalo. Iyanya, kodwa iyaphilisa. Uyayazi unako kwenzeke kwakhona kodwa awucingi nyani Ngaba yenzeke kwakhona, ke ubuyela kule nto ubuyenza ngaphambili.

Izinto zaqala ukutshintsha ndakuba mdala. Ndawufumana umsebenzi endandiwunqwenela njengomhleli wamaphephancwadi yaye ndandihlala kwisiXeko saseNew York. Ndaqala ukubaleka, kwaye ndibaleka into eninzi, njengomdanisi wangaphambili, andikaze ndicinge ukuba ndiza kuyonwabisa. Ngelixa konke oko kungavakala kulungile ephepheni, emfihlekweni, isifo sam seCrohn saba yinto ehlala ihleli ebomini bam.

Ndandihlala ndikwimeko engapheliyo eyaphela iminyaka emibini- yiminyaka emibini ~ 30 yokuya kwigumbi lokuhlambela yonke imihla, iminyaka emibini yokungalali ebusuku, kunye neminyaka emibini yokudinwa. Ngosuku ngalunye oluya lusiba mandundu, ndaziva ngathi ubomi endandibusebenzela nzima ukubuphelisa. Ndaye ndagula kakhulu ukuba ndingaya emsebenzini, kwaye umqeshi wam-unobubele kunye nokuqonda njengoko wayeceliwe-ukuba ndithathe ikhefu lokungabikho okwexeshana. Iprojekthi yam esecaleni enomdla, ibhlog yam, u-Ali on the Run, yaba ncinci malunga noloyiso lwam lwemihla ngemihla, uqeqesho lomdyarho, kunye nothotho lwam lweveki “lweZinto eziBulelayo ngoLwesine”, kunye nokunye malunga nokusokola kwam impilo, ukuphoxeka, kunye namadabi engqondo ebendisilwa. Ndihambile ekuthumeleni kabini ngemini ndaya kumnyama iiveki kuba bendingenamandla kwaye akukho nto intle ndiyithethayo.

Ukwenza konke kube kubi ngakumbi, eyona nto ibisoloko indigcina ndiziva ndiphilile kwaye ndibalekile-ukubaleka-bekuhambile, nako. Ndibaleke ngeflare yam ixesha elide, nokuba bekuthetha ukwenza igumbi lokuhlambela elininzi apha endleleni, kodwa ekugqibeleni, kuye kwafuneka ndiyeke. Kwakubuhlungu kakhulu, kwakunzima, kubuhlungu.

Ndandibuhlungu, ndoyisiwe, kwaye ngokwenene, ndigula ngokwenene. Ngokungathandabuzekiyo, ndadandatheka kakhulu ngelo xesha. Ekuqaleni ndandinomsindo. Ndiza kubona iimbaleki ezisempilweni kwaye ndaziva ndinomona, ndicinga ukuba "ubomi abulunganga." Ndandisazi ukuba oko kwakungeyompendulo, kodwa andizange ndikwazi ukuzibamba. Ndikuthiyile oko ngelixa abantu abaninzi bekhalaza malunga nemozulu okanye iindlela ezingaphantsi komhlaba ezixineneyo okanye kufuneka basebenze emva kwexesha-izinto ezibonakala ngathi ke Ngela xesha yayiyinto engabalulekanga kum—into endandifuna ukuyenza yayikukubaleka kwaye ndandingakwazi kuba umzimba wam wawusilela. Oku akuthethi ukuba ukukhathazeka kwemihla ngemihla akukho semthethweni, kodwa ndizifumene ndinenkcazo entsha yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu. Ke kwixesha elizayo xa ubambekile kwindawo yokuxinana kwezithuthi, ndiyakukhuthaza ukuba usikriphe. Endaweni yokuba nomsindo malunga neemoto ezihamba nzima, mbulele ukuba ngubani okanye yintoni oza ekhaya.

Ekugqibeleni ndaye ndenza indlela yokuphuma kuloo flare yeminyaka emibini, kwaye ndichithe uninzi lwe-2015 ngaphezulu kwehlabathi. Ndatshata, ndafezekisa iphupha lokuhamba nge-safari yase-Afrika, kwaye mna nomyeni wam omtsha samkela injana. Ndangena kwi-2016 yebhanki ngonyaka wesibhengezo. Bendiya kuziqeqeshela ugqatso kwakhona, kwaye bendiza kubaleka iirekhodi zam kugqatso lwe-5K, isiqingatha semarathon, kunye nomdyarho. Ndiya kuyityumza njengombhali kunye nomhleli ozimeleyo, kwaye ndiya kuba ngoyena mama wenja ungcono kakhulu.

Embindini wonyaka, nangona kunjalo, yonke ibuyile, kubonakala ngathi ubusuku bonke. Intlungu yesisu. Ukukrala. Igazi. Iindawo zokuhlambela ezingama-30 ngosuku. Ngaphandle kokuthetha, unyaka-otyumkileyo wokucwangcisa endiwucwangcisileyo uthathe ujikelo olubi kwaye bekuloo ndlela ngaphezulu konyaka ngoku. I'll be real with you: Ndenza ngathi akwenzekanga ngelixesha. Ndabhala iiposti zebhlog ngokungathi bendinjalo ngokwenene Ndiyabulela isandla endiphathwe kuso. Ndifumene izinto ezincinci zokuba psyched malunga ne-FaceTiming nomtshana wam kunye nomtshana wam, iphedi entsha yokufudumeza ukunceda ukuthoba isisu sam-kodwa nzulu emazantsi bendisazi ukuba iphambili.

Emva koko, kwiiveki nje ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo, umhlobo othandekayo wathetha into eyitshintshe yonke. "Kunzima, Feller, kwaye iyadika, kodwa mhlawumbi lixesha lokufumanisa indlela yokuphila ubomi bakho bokugula kwaye uzame ukonwaba."

Ngubani.

Ndayifunda la text ndalila ke kuba ndandisazi ukuba unyanisile. Andikwazi ukuqhubeka ndinephathi elifanayo. So that day itshomi yam yandithumelela isms yimini endagqiba ngayo ukuba andisoze ndicaphukele umntu osempilweni ebonakala ngathi uyahamba. Andizukuthelekisa okona kulungileyo kum nakomnye umntu. Bendiya kubamba imvakalelo enye (kwisiphithiphithi seemvakalelo endiye ndazifumana ngenxa yesifo sikaCrohn) endiye ndazama ukuyamkela nakwezona ntsuku zimnyama, iimvakalelo ezatshintsha ihlabathi lam-umbulelo.

Xa sisebenza ngokusemandleni ethu-xa sili-Ali umhleli, imbaleki, ibhlog, kunye no-Ali umfazi kunye nenja mama-kulula ukuyithatha yonke into njengesiqhelo. Ndithathe impilo yam, umzimba wam, amandla am okubaleka ama-26.2 eekhilomitha ngexesha elinikwe ithuba phantse iminyaka engama-20. Kwakungekho ndade ndaziva ukuba konke kuyasuswa apho ndafunda khona ukuba nombulelo ngeentsuku ezilungileyo, ezazimbalwa ngoku kwaye ziphakathi kakhulu.

Namhlanje, ndiye ndafunda ukufumana ulonwabo kwiimini ezibi emzimbeni wam, okungelula. Kwaye ndifuna ukuba ufumane okufanayo. Ukuba ukhathazekile ngenxa yokungakwazi ukumelana nayo yonke i-yogis yakho, mbulele umbulali wakho, ukubambelela kwengqondo yakho ukungena kwigumbi elishushu le-yoga, okanye inkqubela phambili oyenzileyo kubhetyebhetye bakho.

Nge-1 kaJanuwari, ndavula incwadana entsha kwaye ndabhala "Izinto ezi-3 endizenzileyo namhlanje." Ndizimisele ukugcina uluhlu lwezinto ezintathu endizenzileyo yonke imihla yonyaka, ngaphandle kwempilo yam yasemzimbeni okanye yengqondo-endinokuba nombulelo ngayo kunye nezinto endinokuzingca ngazo. Sele iinyanga ezili-11, kwaye olo luhlu lusaqhubeka. Ndifuna ukuba uqale uluhlu lwakho lokuphumelela kwansuku zonke. Ndiyabheja uza kuqaphela ngokukhawuleza zonke izinto ezintle onokuzenza ngosuku. Ngubani okhathalayo ukuba awubalekanga iimayile ezintathu? Uthathe inja ngeendlela ezintathu ezide endaweni yoko.

Ndinalo mgaqo-nkqubo ongekho semthethweni ebomini ukuba ndingaze ndinike iingcebiso ezingafanelekanga. Kudala ndibaleka ishumi leminyaka kwaye ndigqibezele iimbaleki ezimbalwa, kodwa andizukukuxelela ukuba kufuneka ubaleke okanye ucothe kangakanani na, okanye uphume kangaphi apho. Kodwa inye into endiza kushumayela ngayo-inye into endikucebisa ukuba uyenze kuba ndiyazi into okanye ezimbini ngayo-yindlela yokuphila ngobabalo. Yamkela impilo yakho entle ukuba ube nethamsanqa ngokwaneleyo ukuba ubenalo. Ukuba ukhe wanengxaki ethile nomzimba wakho, ubudlelwane bakho, ikhondo lomsebenzi wakho, nantoni na, jonga kwaye wamkele impumelelo yakho encinci endaweni yoko, kwaye ushenxisele kugqaliso lwakho kwizinto ezinokwenziwa ngumzimba wakho, endaweni yokuhlala kwizinto ezingenako.

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