Ndabethwa Yitrakhi Ndileqa-Kwaza Kwatshintsha Unaphakade Indlela Endijonga Ngayo Ukuqina
Umxholo
Yayingunyaka wam wesibini kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo kwaye andizange ndikwazi ukufumana umhlobo wam wokunqumla ilizwe ukuba ahambe nam ukubaleka. Ndithathe isigqibo sokumisa kwindlela yethu yesiqhelo ukuba ndibaleke okwam okokuqala ebomini bam. Ndiye ndaphambuka ngenxa yolwakhiwo ndaza ndatshonela kwisitayile ukuze ndingabaleki esitratweni. Ndishiye i-alley, ndakhangela ukujika-kwaye yinto yokugqibela endiyikhumbulayo.
Ndiphaphame esibhedlele ndingqongwe lulwandle lwamadoda ndingaqinisekanga nokuba ndiyaphupha na. Bathi, "bekufuneka sikuse esibhedlele," kodwa abazange bandixelele isizathu. Ndakhweliswa ngenqwelomoya ndasiwa kwesinye isibhedlele, ndivukile kodwa ndingaqinisekanga ukuba kwenzeka ntoni. Ndaye ndenziwa utyando phambi kokuba ekugqibeleni ndimbone umama kwaye wandixelela okwenzekileyo: ndibethiwe, ndacinezelwa, ndaza ndarhuqwa yitraki yeFord F-450. Yonke yaziva surreal. Ngenxa yobungakanani belori, bekufanele ukuba ndifile. Isibakala sokuba ndandingonakalanga ingqondo, ndingenawo umnqonqo, ndingophukanga nethambo yayingummangaliso. Umama wayesayine imvume yakhe yokuba umlenze wam unqunyulwe ukuba kuyimfuneko kuba oogqirha bam babecinga ukuba yinto enokwenzeka, ngenxa yemeko ababeyibiza ngokuba "yimilenze yam yetapile ecujiweyo." Ekugqibeleni, ndandinobungozi kulusu nakwimithambo-luvo ndaza ndalahlekelwa sisinye kwisithathu semisipha yam ithole lasekunene kunye nenxalenye yesipuni esilingana nethambo elikwidolo lasekunene. Ndibe nethamsanqa, zonke izinto ziqwalaselwe.
Kodwa ngethamsanqa njengoko ndandinjalo, ukuqala kwakhona ubomi obuqhelekileyo yayingengomsebenzi ulula. Oogqirha bam babengaqinisekanga nokuba ndingaze ndikwazi ukuhamba ngokwesiqhelo kwakhona. Kwiinyanga ezilandelayo ndahlala ndiqinisekile ngepesenti ye-90 yexesha, kodwa, ewe, ayekho amaxesha apho ndandikhathazeka. Ngasihlandlo sithile, ndandidla ngokuhambahamba ngeholo ukuya kwigumbi langasese, yaye xa ndibuya ndaziva ndonakele ngokupheleleyo. Ukuba ndiziva ndidiniwe kukuhamba ndisiya kwindlu yangasese, ndingayenza njani into efana nokuqhuba i-5K kwakhona? Phambi kokuba ndonzakele, bendizakuba yimbaleki ye-D1 ezakuba yimbaleki-kodwa ngoku, elo phupha lalivakala njengenkumbulo ekude. (Eyeleleneyo: Izinto ezi-6 zonke iimbaleki ezinamava xa ibuya kwingozi)
Ekugqibeleni, kwathatha iinyanga ezintathu zokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo ukuze ndikwazi ukuhamba ngaphandle koncedo, kwaye ukuphela kwenyanga yesithathu, ndandiphinda ndibaleka. Ndamangaliswa kukuba ndachacha ngokukhawuleza ngolo hlobo! Ndaqhubeka ndibaleka ngokhuphiswano kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo kwaye ndabalekela kwiDyunivesithi yaseMiami kunyaka wam omtsha. Inyaniso yokuba ndakwazi ukushukuma kwakhona kwaye ndazichaza njengembaleki yanelisa i-ego yam. Kodwa akuzange kube kudala ngaphambi kokuba inyaniso iqale. umlenze wam wasekunene. Ndayikrazula kathathu i-meniscus yam xa ugqirha wam womzimba wathi, "Alyssa, ukuba uyaqhubeka nolu qeqesho loqeqesho, uzakudinga ukutshintshwa kwedolo xa uneminyaka engama-20." Ndiqaphele ukuba inoba lixesha lokuba nditshintshe izihlangu zam zokubaleka ndipase ibhaton. Ukwamkela ukuba andizukuphinda ndizichaze njengembaleki yayiyeyona nto inzima kuba yayiluthando lwam lokuqala. (Idibeneyo: Ukubandezeleka kwandifundisa njani ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuqhuba umgama omfutshane)
Kwakubuhlungu ukubuya umva emva kokuba ndizive ngathi ndisesichengeni ngokuchacha kwam. Kodwa, ekuhambeni kwexesha, ndiye ndafumana uxabiso olutsha ngokukwazi kwabantu ukuba sempilweni nokusebenza ngokulula. Ndaye ndagqiba ekubeni ndifunde i-exercience science esikolweni, kwaye ndandihlala eklasini ndicinga, 'Ikaka engcwele! Sonke kufuneka siziva sisikelelekile ukuba izihlunu zethu zisebenza ngendlela ezisebenza ngayo, ukuze siphefumle ngendlela esenza ngayo. ' Ukufaneleka kwaba yinto endandinokuyisebenzisa ukuze ndicel’ umngeni mna ngokobuqu engenanto yakwenza nokhuphiswano. Kuyavunywa, ndisaqhuba (andinakukwazi tu ukuyeka ngokupheleleyo), kodwa ngoku kufuneka ndihlale ndiyiqonda indlela ophola ngayo umzimba wam. Ndifake uqeqesho lwamandla ngakumbi ekusebenzeni kwam kwaye ndafumanisa ukuba kwenze ukuba kube lula kwaye kukhuseleke ukuqhuba nokuqeqesha ixesha elide.
Namhlanje, ndingoyena unamandla endakha ndakhe-ngokwasemzimbeni nasengqondweni. Ukuphakamisa iintsimbi ezinzima kundivumela ukuba ndihlale ndibonisa ukuba andilunganga kuba ndiphakamisa into endingazange ndiyicinge ukuba ndingakwazi ukuyichola. Ayisiyonto yobuhle: Andikhathali malunga nokubumba umzimba wam kwinkangeleko ethile okanye ukufikelela kumanani athile, amanani, iimilo, okanye ubungakanani. Injongo yam kukuba yomelele kunokuba ndinako-kuba ndiyakhumbula ukuba kunjani ukuba kum buthathaka, kwaye andifuni kubuyela emva. (Eyeleleneyo: Ukwenzakala kwam akuchazi ukuba ndilunge kangakanani na)
Ngoku ndingumqeqeshi weembaleki kwaye umsebenzi endiwenzayo nabaxumi bam ujolise kakhulu kuthintelo lwengozi. Injongo: Ukulawula umzimba wakho kubaluleke ngakumbi kunokufikelela kwinkangeleko ethile. (Edibeneyo: Ndiyabulela Abazali Abandifundise Ukwamkela Ukuqina Ndilibale Ngokhuphiswano) Emva kwengozi xa ndandisesibhedlele, ndikhumbula bonke abanye abantu kumgangatho wam benamanxeba amabi. Ndabona abantu abaninzi bekhubazekile okanye benamanxeba okudutyulwa, kwaye ukusukela ngoko ndathembisa ukuba ngekhe ndibuthathe kancinci ubuchule bomzimba wam okanye inyani yokuba ndisindisiwe ekonzakaleni okunzulu. Yinto endihlala ndizama ukuyigxininisa kubaxumi bam kwaye ndiyigcine engqondweni yam: Inyaniso yokuba uyakwazi ngokomzimba-kuwo nawuphi na umthamo-yinto emangalisayo.