Indlela yokujonga ubudlelwane xa iqabane lakho linobuzaza nge-AF malunga nokuLunga

Umxholo

• Nxibelelana, musa ukungxama.
• Musa ukucinga ngokugqithiseleyo, vele ungene kwi-sync.
• Nika inkxaso, musa ukuyiqonda imidlalo yabo.
• Isibini esidlala kunye, sihlala kunye.
• Uphengululo lwe

Ukuba uyathanda ukwenza umthambo, ukuba kubudlelwane nomntu wezemidlalo kuyavakala. (Bona: Ubungqina bokuba ungadibana ne-Swolemate yakho kwiGym) Uyagcina omnye nomnye ekhuthazeka ukuba aphumeze umzimba, ukubila okuninzi kuyathandeka (ukuzilolonga ngokuzimisela kwenza i-foreplay eyoyikekayo), kwaye kukho ukuqonda ngokufanayo ukuhlala ulungile lukhetho lokuphila. Kodwa xa elinye iqabane lizibandakanya ngokupheleleyo lukhuphiswano okanye lizilolongela ngokugqithiseleyo, banokushiyeka bekhetha phakathi kweyona nto ibenza bazive bephila kunye nomntu abamthanda kakhulu.

Ngokomnye umntu odumileyo ongoyikiyo ukukhwela, kuya kufuneka uyazi ukuba ungena entwenini ngaphambili utyhalelwa emngciphekweni-nokuba nguwe ogqithelayo okanye uhlala neqabane elihambayo.

Kwifilimu esandula ukukhutshwa Solo yasimahla, ebhaliweyo u-Alex Honnold wembali engenazintambo ukunyuka i-El Capitan (udonga lwe-3,000-foot lwe-granite rock e-Yosemite National Park), u-Hornnold kunye nentombi yakhe uCassandra "Sanni" McCandless babeka isiphelo sobudlelwane babo bonke kwimpumelelo yokungafi. khwela. Njengoko u-Honnold esitsho kwifilimu, "amanqaku amabini amancinci oqhakamshelwano akugcina ungawi.Kwaye xa unyuka, inye kuphela." Ngelixa abantu abaninzi banokujika kancinci iindlela ezingaphantsi koxinzelelo lokuvuselela, kuyakhuthaza ukubukela esi sibini sitsha sijongana nelona vavanyo lunzima kwaye siphume siphila-kwaye siphumelele. (Nangona, zininzi izizathu zokuba kufuneka uzame ukunyuka kwamatye.)

Nokuba uSunni noAlex basondelelene kakhulu kwi-screen, kanye indlela "kwi-belay, belay on" kulo lonke uhambo lwabo olucelomngeni iseyinto eyimfihlakalo xa iikhredithi ziqhubeka. Sibambe uAlex ngengxoxo ethembekileyo enzulu malunga nolwalamano lwabo kunye nendlela i-duo yakho enokomelela ngayo emzimbeni enokuphumelela.

Nxibelelana, musa ukungxama.

Kubudlelwane bokumpompa i-adrenaline, inqanaba eliphezulu lonxibelelwano lubalulekile. Ukuba uyayiqonda into ahamba kuyo umntu-nokuba kukwenzakala komzimba okanye umzabalazo wengqondo-uya kuba nakho ngakumbi ukunika inkxaso efanelekileyo. Ngaphambi kokuba ingqumbo yakheke, thetha ngezinto ezibalulekileyo.

"Unxibelelwano ngundoqo," utshilo uAlex Ubume. Oko kuthetha ukuba "ukunyaniseka, uthi 'le yeyona nto ndifuna ukuyenza, indlela endifuna ukuqeqesha ngayo, into ekufuneka ndiyenzile.' Kuya kufuneka uzive ukhululekile ukuxelela abanye oku. "

Kukho umzuzu obambekayo kwifilimu xa u-Sanni esithi, "Andifuni ukuba endleleni yenjongo yakhe. Iphupha lakhe kwaye ngokucacileyo usafuna, "kodwa uyavuma ukuba akayiqondi isizathu sokuba kufuneka. simahla sedwa El Cap. (I-FYI, ukuhamba wedwa simahla okanye ukuhamba wedwa kuthetha ukunyuka ngaphandle kweentambo, ukubopha okanye izixhobo zokhuselo.) ngoba, eyona nto imbi onokuyenza kukushiya omnye umntu ejinga ngaphandle kwengcaciso. Ukuba banenkathalo yokwenene, ukubazisa nje ukuba kubalulekile-nokuba kukubaleka iimbaleki, ukutyumza iitriathlons, okanye ukunyuka El Cap-kufanele kwanele. (Idibeneyo: I-10 Fit Coupb Couples ezenza ukuSebenza kunye ngokuBalulekileyo)

Musa ukucinga ngokugqithiseleyo, vele ungene kwi-sync.

Akuyondlwan’ iyanetha ukuqhelana nenkqubo ebukhali yomnye umntu, ngakumbi xa uneenjongo zakho onokuzixhalabisa ngazo. Kodwa njengoko uAlex esitsho Solo yasimahla, ukuba neqabane kwenza ubomi bube bhetele ngazo zonke iindlela-ngoko kuxabiseke ngokupheleleyo oko.

Endaweni yokubanjwa ungalindelanga ngenxa yenyani yenkqubo yoqeqesho engqongqo, gcina ikhalenda ekwabelwana ngayo kwaye ube kwiphepha elinye. Ingabonakala ngathi iyabulala ngaphezulu, kodwa iyasebenza: "Ngokuqinisekileyo sizama ukuvumelanisa iikhalenda kangangoko sinako. Oko bekusoloko kunjalo ukusukela oko saqala ukuthandana," utshilo uAlex. "Ndithatha indlela yokusebenzisa, ukwandisa zonke izinto ebomini-ulonwabo, ukusebenza kweqela, indlela esihamba ngayo." Ewe, ukuba nobabini niyasebenza kunye ukugcina isingqisho esilungelelanisiweyo kunye nokuhamba, uya kuba nezithintelo ezimbalwa zokujongana-kunye nembambano ezimbalwa malunga nokuba uxhomekile na.

Nika inkxaso, musa ukuyiqonda imidlalo yabo.

Ukuzivocavoca kunye kwandisa ixesha "thina", kodwa oko akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uzinyanzele ukuba ubaleke imigama emide kuba iqabane lakho ngumdlali we-marathoner. Inyaniso: Ingakhathaza kakhulu ukuba umntu wakho obalulekileyo uneshedyuli yoqeqesho enzima. Nangona kunjalo, ukuzama ukuba ngumntu ongenguye kunokwenzeka ukuba kuyandisa imeko kwaye kukwenze uzive ungafaneleki xa ungakwazi ukuqhubeka (okanye uvumele umfana wakho ukuba awe entabeni... bona: Solo yasimahla).

UAlex uthi: "Kubalulekile ukuba ngumntu ozithandayo." "Ekuqaleni, uSanni wayehlala ezazi malunga nokungabi ngumkhweli. Wayesithi, 'oh, kufuneka ube nomntu onokunyuka ngcono.' Ekugqibeleni, kuhlala kukho umntu onyuka ngcono. Ubomi obumenze waneliseka. Yile nto ibaluleke kakhulu. " (Eyeleleneyo: Kunjani kanye kanye Ukuthandana neModeli yokuQinisekisa yaMadoda)

Ukuzilolonga kunokuba yinto engenakulinganiswa nolwalamano lwakho, kodwa akufanele kube yinto ephazamisa ukuzixabisa kwakho. Vumela iqabane lakho lityumze iinjongo zalo, ungavumeli iinjongo zabo zikutyumze. Kwaye oko kuthethiweyo: Kuya kufuneka uzive ukhululekile ukulandela izinto ozonwabisa ngazo ngaphandle kokuziva ngathi kufuneka uquke iqabane lakho. Ngokuxhobisa omnye nomnye ekuqhubekekeni inkanuko yomntu ngamnye, awuyi kukhulisa kuphela imvakalelo yokuzimela (into ebalulekileyo kulo naluphi na ulwalamano) kwaye uphephe ukuziva ngathi ufuna ukuxolisa ngokuzibophelela komzimba, kodwa awusoze uphelelwe zizinto thetha ngesidlo sangokuhlwa.

Isibini esidlala kunye, sihlala kunye.

Akukho nto inomdla ngokutshisa. Kulungile ukuyeka loo ndlela yokuziphatha ngokuzolileyo ngoku kwaye uvumele ulwalamano lwakho luqale kwakhona. Fumanisa iindlela ezintsha zokuwela uloliwe, ube nexesha lokuthandana, kwaye ubuyele kwisidlo sakho kwaye wenze umthambo wokuziva uvuselelwe.

Kwi Solo yasimahla, uAlex noSanni bayakonwabela ukukhwela kunye, kodwa asiyonto ebagcinayo leyo. “Senza yonke enye into, sihamba ngebhayisekile yasezintabeni, sityibiliza ekhephini, kwaye sihamba ngexabiso elifanelekileyo,” utsho uAlex. "Sihamba kunye kakhulu. Ihlobo elidlulileyo, senze uhambo lweenyanga ezintathu malunga neYurophu. Saya eMorocco. Kweli hlobo, sasihlala kwiveni iinyanga ezimbini. " (Eyeleleneyo: Ndidibene nothando loBomi bam kwi-SoulCycle)

Ngelixa singenako sonke ukuzalisekisa amaphupha ethu e-#vanlife, sinokufunda kwifomula yokuphumelela ka-Alex: ukulungelelanisa utshintsho kunye nokugxila kunye ne-aplomb. "Kube luhambo olunomdla ebomini. Njengoko ubona kwifilimu, ayisiyonyuko nje kuphela, kodwa ubomi bam bungqonge oko kwenza ukuba kwenzeke. Ubudlelwane bam noSanni benza ukuba kwenzeke."

Uphengululo lwe