Ngokuchanekileyo Indlela yokuThetha ngokungcolileyo ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo ngaphandle kokuziva ungonwabanga

Umxholo

• Yenza: Fumana amagama abo abangelayo
• Yenza: Bahlaziye kwi-Arousal yakho
• Musa: Yiva Uxinzelelo
• Yenza: Bambelela kokukuSebenzelayo
• Yenza: Inkosi yobuGcisa beNtetho emdaka yegama elinye
• Musa: Gxininisa kakhulu kubungakanani
• Yenza: Chaza iiMpawu zabo ezikuchulumancisayo
• Yenza: Baxelele ukuba uza kwenza ntoni
• Uphengululo lwe

Ngaba ingcinga yeqabane lakho elithi, "Thetha umdaka kum" ikuthumela ukothuka? Awuwedwa ukuba ithemba lokuthetha okungcolileyo (ngaphaya ko "ewe" kunye nokugcuma okungafaniyo) likwenza uzive ungonwabanga.

Nazi ezinye iindaba ezimnandi zokuthomalalisa uxinzelelo: Xa kufikwa kwisandi sultry, abantu basetyhini banokulalana ngokulula ngesandi selizwi labo, ngelixa amadoda engenakho, ngokutsho kwesifundo seKholeji yaseAlbright. (Enyanisweni, amadoda abonwa njengabancinci kakhulu xa bezama ukuvakala be-sexy.) Kwaye ukuba iqabane lakho lingumfazi? Ke iingqungquthela ezinkulu: Intetho yakho emdaka sele iza kushushu njengesihogo.

Yintoni embi? Ngenxa yokuba unesakhono somlomo sendalo (molo, ilizwi lokulala elirhabaxa!) akuthethi ukuba uyazi ukuba ngawaphi amagama aya kunibeka emoyeni. "Abantu abaninzi baziva bethetha ngobudenge xa ​​bethetha emdaka," utshilo uJaiya, utitshala wesini kunye nombhali Vuthelanani. "Ngenxa yokuba abazi ukuba bathini, bayakhubeka."

Ke, ngelixa unokufunda ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ungathetha njani umdaka (kwaye eli nqaku likugubungele), nawe awukwenzi isidingo ukuqalisa ukuthetha amazwi avuselelayo. Xa kufikwa kukhetho kwigumbi lokulala, ukuthandwa ngumntu wonke nokungathandwa kwahlukile kwaye abanye abantu (mhlawumbi neqabane lakho) abanokukhathalela yonke incoko ye-erotic chat. Zininzi iindlela zokukhetha ubomi bakho ngokwesondo kunye nokusebenzisa intetho engcolileyo ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo yenye yazo.

Ngoku, ukuba wenazi ulungele ukuzicofa ngaphakathi kuwe kwaye uthathe igumbi lakho lokulala uphakamise inotshi, emva koko ungakhangeli ngaphezulu kwezi zikhokelo zentetho imdaka. Owu, kunye nenye into: Nje ukuba ufunde ukuthetha ungcolile, zilungiselele ukuvusa iqabane lakho njengangaphambili.

Yenza: Fumana amagama abo abangelayo

Amathuba kukuba, iqabane lakho linelizwi elithile olithandayo kumalungu abo omzimba- kunye nakwizenzo zesondo, ezinje ngokulalana nangomlomo- ezibajikisa kakhulu. U-Jaiya ubiza la magama e-trigger kuba isandi nje sawo sihlala sanele ukukrazula ukuvuswa kwawo. "Qala ngokuthumela imiyalezo engcolileyo emva naphambili," ucebisa uRuth Neustifter, Ph.D., umbhali we ISikhokelo seNtombazana eNice sokuThetha ngokumdaka. "Le yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokufumanisa ukuba ngawaphi amagama abawathandayo."

Umgca wakho: "Andinakulinda ndikubone namhlanje ebusuku. Ndixelele zonke iindawo ofuna ndikubambe kuzo." Baza kusebenzisa amagama abawafumana kakhulu kwi-sexts yabo, bekunceda ulungise kakuhle isigama sakho sokulala kwaye ekugqibeleni ufunde indlela yokuthetha mdaka ngendlela ebasebenzela kakuhle. Kwaye, emva koko, banokukhetha awaphi amagama (kunye nee-emojis ezithandekayo) ozikhethele zona.

Yenza: Bahlaziye kwi-Arousal yakho

"Ndimanzi kakhulu ngoku." "Ndiza kuza." "Uziva ungakholeleki."

Olu hlaziyo lomzuzu nomzuzu lukunceda ukuba ulungelelanise eyakho inkanuko-enokuba ngumsebenzi onzima-ngelixa unika iqabane lakho indlebe enomtsalane. "Xa uthetha ngento eyenzekayo emzimbeni wakho, uzisa ulwazi ngayo," utshilo uJaiya. "Ngaphezu koko, ubavusa ngakumbi, kuba bacinga, 'Ewe! Ndiyabavula.' Oko kubenza bazive bezithembile. " Kwaye yile nto unokuyibiza ukuba uphumelele. (Ngelixa intetho emnandi inokukunceda usondele, nantsi kanye indlela yokuba ne-orgasm ngalo lonke ixesha.)

Musa: Yiva Uxinzelelo

"Intetho engcolileyo" mhlawumbi ligama elingafanelekanga, kuba i-banter yegumbi lokulala ayifuni ukuba ibe yinto engcolileyo ukuze ibe yinto yokuvula. “Abanye abantu bafumanisa ukuba iziqalekiso azivusi ngokupheleleyo,” utsho uNeustifter. "Amagama ajika iqabane lakho abe nokuthantamisa kunye nothando-oko kunokuba kukuvuselela kakhulu," wongeza uJaiya. Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba loluphi uhlobo lwentetho evuselelayo abalukhethayo, zama ukutshintshanisa amabinzana aswiti (oko kukuthi, “Ndiyakuthanda xa undincamisa”) anee-risqué ezingakumbi (okt, “Ndifuna [ilungu lomzimba] lakho ngaphakathi kwam”, kwaye bona ukuba yintoni ebavuselela kakhulu.

Yenza: Bambelela kokukuSebenzelayo

“Abasetyhini bacinga ukuba bafanele ukuvakala njengeenkwenkwezi,” utshilo uYvonne Fulbright, Ph.D., umbhali wencwadi Isondo Sultry Thetha ukuhenda Naliphi Lover. Nokuba iqabane lakho libukele iphonografi, loo nto ayithethi ukuba kufuneka uthethe izinto ezimdaka ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo ngendlela efanayo naleyo banokuthi bayibukele kwiscreen - awona magama ashushu ngawona akufumana kwindawo, nokuba abumbuna ngokuthelekisayo. "Ukuba awunyaniseki okanye awukhululekanga, baya kuvakalelwa," utshilo uJaiya. (Kwaye kufanelekile ukuba uzive ukhululekile kwaye uqinisekile kwigumbi lokulala, akukho ifs, ands, okanye buts.)

Kwaye awudingi ukusebenzisa ilizwi elinzulu, elinomqala. "Itoni yakho ingahlekisa kwaye ihlekise, intle okanye ihlekise, imsulwa, okanye ikrwada," utsho uNeustifter. "Ndikhuthaza abafazi ukuba bacinge ngamaxesha apho baziva beqinisekile kwaye bengakhathali." Ukuba uziva ungcono ngelixa unika iinkcazo-ntetho emsebenzini, umzekelo, i-vibe yegumbi elinamandla inokuba yinto oya kuyo; ukuba ulwimi lwakho lothando luyahlekisa (cinga: ukuhleka nabahlobo bakho, ukuhlekisa ukwenza iqabane lakho lihleke), indlela emnandi inokuba ngcono. (Kukwabalulekile: Chitha ixesha lokuphulula amalungu esini ukuze ufumane into oyithandayo ngokwasemzimbeni.)

Yenza: Inkosi yobuGcisa beNtetho emdaka yegama elinye

Xa ufunda indlela yokungcola intetho, kubalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ukuba, amaxesha ngamaxesha, kuncinci kuninzi. Ukuzama ukudibanisa ndawonye isigwebo esipheleleyo, esingcolileyo kunokuwunciphisa umnqweno wakho kuba ungaphakathi kwentloko yakho, utsho uJaiya. "Xa ndisenza ucweyo ngesini, igama elithi 'ewe' lelinye lamagama abantu abawathandayo," utsho uNeustifter. Amanye amagama amnandi anokuma wedwa: "ngokukhawuleza," "kunzima," kunye "nangaphezulu." Izikhokelo zegama elinye zibazise ukuba benza umsebenzi omkhulu, utshilo uJaiya. Cinga ngale ntetho ilula yesini njengokulingana kokuthetha. (Eyeleleneyo: Ithetha ukuthini ingxolo yeSex yakho ngokwenene)

Musa: Gxininisa kakhulu kubungakanani

Ukuba uthandana nomntu onepenisi, yazi oku: Ngokuqinisekileyo, abanye abantu bayakuthanda ukuxelelwa ipenisi yabo kuyamangalisa, kodwa kwabanye, ukuva malunga nobungakanani kunokubakhumbuza ukungazithembi kwabo, utshilo uNeustifter. Indlela ebhetele: Thetha malunga nokuqina kolwakhiwo lwabo. "Ngokubanzi, abantu baphendula kakuhle bakuva indlela evuswe ngayo amalungu abo esini," utshilo. (Jonga kwakhona: Okokugqibela, iimpendulo ze * Zonke * zemibuzo yakho yePenis ecinezelayo)

Yenza: Chaza iiMpawu zabo ezikuchulumancisayo

Ukuthetha ngezenzo ezithile zesondo kunokuba yinto eyoyikisayo-ngakumbi xa uqala ukuqonda ukuba ungathetha njani ungcolile. Amaxesha amaninzi kulula ukuthetha ngeempawu okanye izinto - indlela ezirhabaxa ngayo isinxibo sangaphantsi okanye ukuba uzithanda ngokwenene iindiza zentshebe, utshilo uNeustifter. Ke qala ngezitetimenti ezichazayo zokujika kwakho malunga neqabane lakho xa uzama intetho engcolileyo ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo. Uninzi lwabantu luyathanda ukunconywa. Ngaphezu koko, phantse akunakwenzeka ukuphaphaza xa uxelela umntu ukuba umzimba wakhe uyakuvuyisa kangakanani.

Yenza: Baxelele ukuba uza kwenza ntoni

Ngoku, ngenxalenye ethe kratya "yokuthetha ezimdaka nge-101." Xelela iqabane lakho malunga nokuhamba ngesini ofuna ukukwenza. "Kulula kwabasetyhini ukuba bakhathalele kunokuba bathi, 'Nantsi into endifuna ukuba uyenze," utshilo uJaiya. Ngenisa ngokulula kwincoko engcolileyo yesini ngokucebisa inyathelo enilizamile ngaphambili enilonwabeleyo nobabini. (Njengoko, umzekelo, ezi zikhundla zesini zokuvuselela i-clit okanye indlela abasebenzisa ngayo ulwimi lwabo ngexesha lomlomo.) Ngaloo ndlela, uyazi ukuba baya kufumana isindululo sakho ngokufanelekileyo, nto leyo enokukwenza uzive uzithembe ngakumbi ngokuthatha inkokhelo.

Uphengululo lwe