Yile nto kanye endiyithethayo xa abantu bendibuza kutheni ndineminyaka engama-30, ndingatshatanga, kwaye ndingenamntwana

Umxholo

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Ukusukela ukujika kweminyaka engama-30, ndifumene iimpendulo ezintle xa ndixelela abantu ukuba ewe, andikatshati, kwaye hayi, andifuni ukuba nabantwana. Nanini na.

Apho ndihlala khona eDes Moines, eIowa, yinto yesibini ukuhlala phantsi emva kwekholeji. Enyanisweni, abanye abahlobo bam sele bekwinombolo yesibini yomtshato ngelixa abanye benomntwana wesine endleleni.

Ungandivi kakubi, ndonwabile ngayo nantoni na ebenza bonwabe. Kodwa ubomi babo abundenzi ukuba ndifune ukutshintsha ingoma yam, kananjalo imibuzo eqhubekayo malunga nobudlelwane bam nabahlobo kunye nosapho ngeeholide. (Sesinye sezizathu zokuba ndinxibelelane nale vidiyo imnandi yeBuzzfeed kumanqanaba amaninzi.)

Yiyo loo nto ndiye ndaqokelela iimpendulo ezichubekileyo kodwa ezithe ngqo zokujongana nemibuzo ephononongayo eye yaxhaphaka ngakumbi ukusukela oko ndafikelela kwiminyaka yam engamashumi amathathu. Eyam yeyakho xa uzifumana ukwizihlangu ezifanayo.

Bayabuza: "Ngaba ukhe wazama iTinder/Bumble/Match?"

Ndithi: "Ndikwikhompyutheni yam kunye nefowuni ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndisebenze. Ndingathanda ukudlula ukusebenzisa, ngaphezu kokuba ndifuna, ngexesha lam lokukhulula. Yindlela eqaqambileyo yokudibana nabantu abatsha, nangona kunjalo!"

Akukho nto ichasene ne-intanethi yokuthandana-ngaphandle kwento yokuba i-intanethi. Ukuthandana kweesoftware kunye neesayithi ziye zathandwa ngokukhawuleza kune-rosé-kwaye ngesizathu esihle. Zikulungele-ngakumbi, ukuba ufana nomndilili waseMelika osebenzisa izixhobo zobuchwephesha ezithatha iiyure ezili-11 ngosuku. (Idibeneyo: Ifowuni yakho inokubuhlungu ubuhlobo bakho)

Kodwa ngokobuqu, enye yazo okokugqibela izinto endifuna ukuzenza emva komsebenzi nokusonga ii-hustles zam ezisecaleni kwiwebhu (ukufumana inani lam lemihla ngemihla ukuya kwinqanaba leeyure ezili-11) kukuchitha ixesha elininzi ndizingele isikrini.

Ke ngelixa ndingathanda ukuvuyisana naye wonke umntu ofumene uthando esebenzisa la maqonga, ndiza kuswayipha ngasekhohlo ukuba kuthathe ixesha elingakanani kunye nomzamo ukuze "SportsFan216" ivule malunga nezinto azithandayo. Ngelixa kungathatha ixesha elide ukudibana nabantu be-IRL kunokuba kunjalo, olo nxibelelwano lobuqu luyinto ekhawulezayo ye-mood-booster-kunye nentloko emnandi eqala ngokukhupha i-chemistry.

Bayabuza: "Kodwa awulilolo?"

Ndithi: "Ndiyalixabisa ixesha lam"!

Ngethuba lokuqala ukusukela eDes Moines usuka eNew York, ndingatsho ukuba ndingu omde into esuka isizungu. Ngaphambili, bendisoloko ndinomdla wokulinganisa ukungunda "okuthandwayo", nokuba oko kuthetha ukusukela abantu abandiphathayo njengomncedisi. Ngoku, ekugqibeleni ndiyifumene iqela lam. Ukuxhobisa, ukuthanda, kunye nenkxaso kuloo nto.

Eso sesona sizathu sinamandla sokuba ndibe nemilinganiselo ephakamileyo ngolu hlobo ngokuphathelele umntu endithandana naye kwaye ndifune ukuhlala naye. YenaIfanele ukuba ilungile, ukuba ingangcono kunabahlobo bam ukuba ifuna ukwabelana ngexesha lam. Ungayichazanga eyokuba ndifuna ukuba sobabini sikwazi yongeza kubomi bomnye nomnye kunokuba sithatha.

Kude kufike oko (kwaye andibambi mphefumlo wam) ubusuku bodwa bokubamba Iprojekthi yokuBaleka kunye nokuhlamba impahla phezu kweglasi yewayini kuvakala ngathi kumnandi kum.

Bathi: "Yiba nomonde. Uyakufumana umdlalo wakho."

Ndithi: "Ndingathanda ukufumana i-J kwi-PB yam, kodwa ukuba andiyenzi, ibhotela ye-peanut iyamangalisa kakhulu ngokwayo."

Kule mihla, ukungatshati akukho ngaphantsi komngcipheko kwaye ngaphezulu kwesigqibo esamkelweyo. Ewe, oku kuyahluka ngokuqatha ngokusekelwe kwindawo yejografi (amanxweme ngokubanzi amkeleke ngakumbi) -kodwa inyaniso yokuba iVeki yamaMelika angatshatanga ikhona ichaza ibali elinamandla. (Nazi isixhenxe seenzuzo zempilo zokungatshati, ukuba ufuna ukukholisa ngakumbi.)

Ukuba ndinyanisekile, esinye sezizathu endicinga ukuba kuthathe ixesha ukuba ndifumane iqabane lobomi bonke kukuba ndandixakeke kakhulu ndigxeka into engalunganga ngam ukuba ndinike nabani na omnye umntu ashukunyiswe ngokufanelekileyo. Emva kwamashumi eminyaka okuzithemba, ndinika le PB (aka mna) iinkwenkwezi ezintlanu, kwaye ndiqinisekile ukuba ijeli eswiti iya kuza ukuze ilungelelanise ubunongogo bam kakuhle. Andizukunyibilika ukuba ayenzi njalo.

Bathi: "Unokuba ngumama olungileyo, nangona kunjalo!"

Ndithi: "Ukonwabisa yinto efanelekileyo kum."

Ndiyabathanda abantwana. Ndibafumana behlekisa, bethandeka, benamandla, kwaye bemnandi kakhulu. Ndiyakonwabela ukuvolontiya kwimibutho yokucebisa kwaye ndixabise wonke umzuzu endiwuchitha nomtshana wam oneminyaka emi-2 ubudala. Kodwa ndiyakuthanda ukubuyisela abantwana abalilayo kubazali babo. Ndiyathanda ukulala kancinci ngeempelaveki. Ndiyarhalela ukuhamba kuzo zonke iindawo zehlabathi. Abantwana abafanelani ncam nalo naluphi na olo sukelo, kwaye njengokuzingca njengoko kuvakala, ndiyonwabela inkululeko yokuphila ubomi obungenamntwana.

Ndibethe ke xa ufuna umntu oza kukugcina. Ndiza kukusukela umntwana wakho omncinci ngelixa ukonwabela ubusuku kunye nomyeni wakho-ukuba andikho kumhla wam weTV noTim Gunn, oko kukuthi.

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