Ungayakha njani iTrust emva kokuNgcatshwa

Umxholo

• Kuthetha ntoni ukuthembela?
• Iimpawu zokuthembela kubudlelwane
• Ukwakha ukuthembana kwakhona xa ungcatshwe
• Cinga ngesizathu sokuxoka okanye ukungcatsha
• Nxibelelana, thetha, nxibelelana
• Ziqhelise ukuxolela
• Kuphephe ukuhlala ucinga ngezinto ezidlulileyo
• Ukwakha ukuthembana kwakhona xa wenzakalise umntu
• Cinga ukuba kutheni uyenzile
• Cela uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo
• Thetha ngokungqalileyo
• Nika iqabane lakho ixesha
• Vumela iimfuno zabo zikukhokele
• Zibophelele ekucaciseni unxibelelwano
• Kuthekani ngeenkcukacha zomtshato?
• Ingaba iza kuthatha ixesha elingakanani?
• Ngaba kufanelekile?
• Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uyenze wedwa
• Umgca wezantsi

Ithemba yinto ebalulekileyo kubudlelwane obomeleleyo, kodwa akwenzeki ngokukhawuleza. Kwaye xa sele yaphukile, kunzima ukuyakha kwakhona.

Xa ucinga ngeemeko ezinokukhokelela ekubeni ulahle ukuthembela kwiqabane lakho, ukungathembeki kunokufika kwangoko engqondweni. Kodwa ukukopela asikokuphela kwendlela yokwaphula ukuthembana kubudlelwane.

Amanye amathuba anokubakho:

• umzekelo wokubuyela kwilizwi lakho okanye ukwaphula izithembiso
• ukungabikho kwiqabane lakho ngexesha lokudinga
• ukubamba, okanye ukugcina into ngasemva
• ukuxoka okanye ukukhohlisa
• indlela yokungabelani ngokukhululekileyo ngeemvakalelo zakho

Kuthetha ntoni ukuthembela?

Ngaphambi kokuya kwindlela yokwakha kwakhona ukuthembana, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba yintoni ukuthembana, ngokuchanekileyo.

Ukuqala, kunokuba luncedo ukucinga ngokuthemba njengokukhetha ekufuneka kwenziwe ngumntu. Awunakho ukwenza umntu akuthembele. Awunakukhetha ukuthemba umntu ade abonise ukuba uyakufanelekela.

Iimpawu zokuthembela kubudlelwane

Ukuthembana kunokuthetha izinto ezahlukeneyo kubantu abohlukeneyo. Kubudlelwane bothando, ukuthembana kunokuthetha:

• Uziva uzinikele kubudlelwane nakumaqabane akho.
• Uziva ukhuselekile kunye neqabane lakho kwaye niyazi ukuba bayayihlonipha imida yomzimba kunye neemvakalelo.
• Uyazi ukuba iqabane lakho liyamamela xa unxibelelana neemfuno zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho.
• Awuziva unesidingo sokufihla izinto kwiqabane lakho.
• Wena neqabane lakho niyahloniphana.
• Ninokuba semngciphekweni kunye.
• Uyaxhasana.

Kubalulekile kwakhona ukuqonda ukuba yeyiphi intembeko ayikho.

Kubudlelwane, umzekelo, ukuthembana akuthethi ukuba uxelela iqabane lakho yonke into ewela engqondweni yakho. Yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba neengcinga ezizodwa ozigcina kuwe.

Itrust ayithethi ukunika omnye nomnye ukufikelela:

• ii-akhawunti zebhanki (ngaphandle kokuba kwabelwana ngazo)
• iikhompyuter zakho
• oonomyayi
• iiakhawunti zemidiya yoluntu

Usenokungabi nangxaki nokwabelana ngolwazi, ngakumbi kwimeko kaxakeka. Kodwa ubukho bokuthembela kubudlelwane ngokubanzi kuthetha ukuba awudingi ukukhangela iqabane lakho. Unokholo kubo kwaye uzive ukwazi ukuthetha ngazo naziphi na iinkxalabo onokuba nazo.

Ukwakha ukuthembana kwakhona xa ungcatshwe

Ukuba nomntu owophula ukuthembana kwakho kungakushiya ukhathazekile, wothukile kwaye ugula ngokwasemzimbeni. Inokukuqhubela ekubeni uqwalasele ubudlelwane bakho- kunye neqabane lakho- ngendlela eyahlukileyo.

Ukuba ufuna ukuzama ukwakha ukuthembana kwakhona, nanga amanqaku afanelekileyo okuqala.

Cinga ngesizathu sokuxoka okanye ukungcatsha

Xa uxokisiwe, usenokungakhathali kangako ngezizathu zoko.

Kodwa abantu ngamanye amaxesha bayaxoka xa bengazi nje ukuba mabenze ntoni na. Oku akwenzi ukuba ukhetho lwabo lube lolulungileyo, kodwa kunokunceda ukuqaphela indlela onokuthi usabele ngayo kwisikhundla sabo.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, iqabane lakho lisenokukungcatsha ukuze uzikhusele, kodwa kusenokwenzeka ukuba banezizathu ezahlukeneyo. Ngaba babezama ukukukhusela kwiindaba ezimbi? Yenza eyona meko imbi yemali? Nceda ilungu losapho?

Mhlawumbi ukungcatshwa kokuthembana kubangelwe kukungabikho koqhakamshelwano okanye ukungaqondani.

Nokuba kwenzeka ntoni, kubalulekile ukuyenza icace into yokuba into abayenzileyo ibingalunganga. Kodwa ukwazi izizathu zezenzo zabo kunokukunceda uthathe isigqibo sokuba uyakwazi na ukuphinda uqalise ukuthembana enikhe nabelana ngako.

Nxibelelana, thetha, nxibelelana

Kungangabuhlungu okanye kungonwabisi, kodwa enye yezona zinto zibalulekileyo zokwakha ukuthembana emva kokungcatshwa kukuthetha neqabane lakho malunga nemeko.

Bekela bucala ixesha lokubaxelela ngokucacileyo:

• uziva njani ngale meko
• kutheni ukungcatshwa kukuthembakalisa kukuvisa kabuhlungu
• into oyifunayo kubo ukuqala ukwakha ukuthembana kwakhona

Banike ithuba lokuba bathethe, kodwa ke baqwalasele ukunyaniseka kwabo. Ngaba bayaxolisa kwaye babonakala bezisola ngokwenene? Okanye ngaba bayazikhusela kwaye abafuni ukuvuma ukungcatshwa kwabo?

Unokuziva ukhathazekile okanye ukhathazekile kule ncoko. Ezi mvakalelo zisebenza ngokupheleleyo. Ukuba uziva ukhathazekile ukuba ungaqhubeka unxibelelane ngendlela enemveliso, thatha ikhefu kwaye ubuyele kumxholo kamva.

Ukuthetha ngokwenzekileyo sisiqalo nje. Ilungile ngokugqibeleleyo, kwaye iqhelekile ngokupheleleyo, ukuba awukwazi ukusebenza kuyo yonke into ngobusuku obubini okanye ezimbini.

Ziqhelise ukuxolela

Ukuba ufuna ukulungisa ubudlelwane emva kokungcatshwa, ukuxolelwa kubalulekile. Ayizukufuna ukuxolela iqabane lakho kuphela, kodwa nawe unokufuna ukuzixolela.

Ukuzibek 'ityala ngandlela ithile ngokwenzekileyo kunokugcina kukungazithembi. Oko kunokwenzakalisa amathuba okuphulukana nolwalamano lwakho.

Kuxhomekeka ekungcatshweni, kunokuba nzima ukuxolela iqabane lakho kwaye uqhubele phambili. Kodwa zama ukukhumbula ukuba ukuxolela iqabane lakho akuthethi ukuba into abayenzileyo ibilungile.

Endaweni yokuba uzixhobise ngokwakho ukuze ukwazi ukwamkela into eyenzekileyo kwaye uyiyeke ngaphambili. Ukwanika iqabane lakho ithuba lokufunda nokukhula kwiimpazamo zabo.

Kuphephe ukuhlala ucinga ngezinto ezidlulileyo

Nje ukuba ukuxoxe ngokupheleleyo ngokungcatshwa, kungcono kakhulu ukuba uwulalise lo mbandela. Oku kuthetha ukuba awufuni kuyizisa kwiingxoxo ezizayo.

Uyakufuna kwakhona ukuhamba ngokulula ekujongeni rhoqo kwiqabane lakho ukuze uqiniseke ukuba abaphinde baxoke kuwe.

Oku akusoloko kulula, ngakumbi ekuqaleni. Unokuba nobunzima bokuyeka ukungcatshwa kwaye kube nzima ukuqala ukuthembela kwiqabane lakho, ngakumbi ukuba unexhala lokunye ukungcatshwa.

Kodwa xa uthatha isigqibo sokunika ubudlelwane ithuba lesibini, uthatha isigqibo sokuthemba iqabane lakho kwakhona. Mhlawumbi ngekhe ubathembe kwangoko, kodwa ucinga ukuba uya kunika ithemba ithuba lokuphinda likhule.

Ukuba awukwazi ukuhlala ucinga ngento eyenzekileyo okanye ungathandabuzi malunga nokunyaniseka okanye ukuthembeka kweqabane lakho kwikamva, iingcebiso ngezibini zinokunceda. Kodwa le miqondiso inokubonisa ukuba awungekhe ukulungele ukusebenza kubudlelwane.

Ukwakha ukuthembana kwakhona xa wenzakalise umntu

Umoshile. Mhlawumbi uxokile wenzakalisa iqabane lakho okanye wafihla ulwazi ocinga ukuba luya kubenzakalisa.

Nokuba ziphi izizathu zakho, uyazi ukuba ubabangele iintlungu, kwaye uziva kakubi. Ungaziva ngathi ungenza nantoni na ukubonisa ukuba banokuphinda bakuthembe.

Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba ukuthembana okuphukileyo kunokuba ngaphezulu kokulungiswa. Kodwa ukuba nobabini niyasebenza ukulungisa ubudlelwane, kukho amanyathelo ambalwa aluncedo onokuwathatha.

Cinga ukuba kutheni uyenzile

Phambi kokuba uqalise ngenkqubo yokwakha ukuthembana kwakhona, uya kuqala ufuna ukujonga ngokwakho ukuqonda ukuba kutheni ukwenzile oko.

Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ubufuna ukubuphelisa ubudlelwane kodwa ungazi ukuba uza kwenza njani? Okanye ngaba bekukho iimfuno ezithile ezingakhange zifezekiswe liqabane lakho? Okanye ngaba yayiyimpazamo esisidenge?

Ukuqonda izizathu zokuziphatha kwakho kunokuba nzima, kodwa yinxalenye ebalulekileyo yokwakha ukuthembana kwakhona.

Cela uxolo ngokunyanisekileyo

Ukuba uxokile, waqhatha, okanye wonakalisa ukholo lweqabane lakho kuwe, uxolo olunyanisekileyo luyindlela elungileyo yokuqala ukulungisa izinto. Kubalulekile ukuba uvume ukuba wenze impazamo.

Khumbula nje ukuba uxolo lwakho ayiloxesha lokuthethelela izenzo zakho okanye zokuchaza imeko. Ukuba ezinye izinto zibe nefuthe kwizenzo zakho, ungasoloko wabelana neqabane lakho emva uxolisa kwaye ungumnini wenxalenye yakho kwimeko.

Thetha ngokungqalileyo

Xa uxolisa, thetha ngqo ukubonisa ukuba uyenzile into ephosakeleyo. Sebenzisa "Mna" iingxelo. Kuphephe ukubeka ityala kwiqabane lakho.

Umzekelo, endaweni yokuthi "ndiyaxolisa ngokuba ndikwenzakalisile," zama:

“Ndiyaxolisa ngokukuxokisa malunga nalapho ndandisiya khona. Ndiyazi ukuba bekufanele ukuba ndikuxelele inyani, kwaye ndiyazisola ngokubangela intlungu. Ndifuna uyazi ukuba andinakuze ndiphinde. ”

Qiniseka ukuba uyalandelela ngokuxelela indlela ocinga ngayo ukuthintela ukwenza impazamo efanayo kwakhona. Ukuba awuqinisekanga ukuba bafuna ntoni kuwe ukuze basebenze kubudlelwane, ungabuza. Qiniseka nje ukuba ukulungele kwaye uzimisele ukumamela impendulo yabo.

Nika iqabane lakho ixesha

Nokuba ukulungele ukuxolisa, thetha ngokwenzekileyo, kwaye uqale ngokusebenza ngezinto, iqabane lakho lisenokuziva lingakulungelanga okwangoku. Kungathabatha ixesha ukuza kumgaqo wokungcatshiswa okanye ukwaphuka kokuthembana.

Abantu benza izinto ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, nabo. Iqabane lakho lisenokufuna ukuthetha kwangoko. Kodwa banokudinga iintsuku okanye iiveki ngaphambi kokuba bajongane nomcimbi kunye nawe.

Kubalulekile ukunqanda ukubacinezela ukuba babenengxoxo ngaphambi kokuba bakulungele. Uxolo kwaye vumela iqabane lakho lazi ukuba ukulungele xa bekhona. Ukuba uyasokola okwangoku, cinga ukuthetha nomcebisi onokunika isikhokelo esingakhethi cala nesixhasayo.

Vumela iimfuno zabo zikukhokele

Iqabane lakho lisenokufuna indawo nexesha ngaphambi kokuba baxoxe ngokwenzekileyo. Kwaye rhoqo, oku kunokubandakanya indawo ebonakalayo.

Oku kunokuba nzima ukujongana nako, kodwa ukuhlonipha imida yeqabane lakho kunye neemfuno kunokuhamba indlela ende ekubonakaliseni ukuba banokuxhomekeka kuwe kwakhona.

Iqabane lakho linokufuna ukucaca ngakumbi kunye nonxibelelwano kuwe kwixa elizayo. Oku kuqhelekile emva kokungcatshwa kokuthenjwa. Unokwabelana ngefowuni kunye nekhompyuter yakho kunye neqabane lakho ukungqina ukunyaniseka kwakho.

Kodwa ukuba wenze inkqubela phambili ekulungiseni ubudlelwane bakho kunye neqabane lakho liyaqhubeka nokujonga imisebenzi yakho kunye nokunxibelelana nabanye, ukuthetha nomcebisi ngezibini kunokunceda.

Zibophelele ekucaciseni unxibelelwano

Emva kwangoko kokuqhekeka kokuthembana, uya kufuna ukuphendula ngokunyanisekileyo imibuzo yeqabane lakho kwaye uzibophelele ekuvulekeni ngokupheleleyo nabo kwixa elizayo.

Ukwenza oku, kuya kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba ucacile kwinqanaba lonxibelelwano abalifunayo.

Masithi uqhekeze ukuthembana kwabo ngokubamba ulwazi ongacingi ukuba lubalulekile, kwaye awusiqondi isizathu sokuba bazive bengcatshiwe. Oku kungabonisa ukuba kukho umba onzulu kunxibelelwano kubudlelwane bakho.

Ukuba ufuna ukulungisa ubudlelwane bakho kwaye uphephe ukulimaza iqabane lakho kwakhona kwixa elizayo, kuya kufuneka ufikelele ekuqondeni ngokufanayo ukuba unxibelelwano oluhle lubukeka njani.

Ukunganxibelelana kakuhle okanye ukungaqondani ngamanye amaxesha kunokubangela iintlungu njengokungathembeki ngabom.

Kuthekani ngeenkcukacha zomtshato?

Abacebisi bezolwalamano bahlala becebisa ngokuchasene nokubonelela ngeenkcukacha ezithile malunga nokudibana ngokwesondo nomnye umntu. Ukuba ukhohlisile, iqabane lakho linokuba nemibuzo emininzi malunga nokuba kwenzeka ntoni kanye kanye. Kwaye unokufuna ukubaphendula kumzamo wokubonisa elubala.

Kodwa ukuthetha ngeenkcukacha zokudibana kunokubangela iintlungu ezingakumbi ezingenamveliso kakhulu. Ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna iinkcukacha, cinga ukubacela ukuba balinde de ubone i-therapist kunye.

Ingcali inokukunceda uhambe ngendlela esempilweni yokuphendula le mibuzo. Okwangoku, usenokuphendula ngokunyanisekileyo imibuzo yabo ngaphandle kokunika iinkcukacha ezicacileyo.

Ingaba iza kuthatha ixesha elingakanani?

Ukuba kubudlelwane nethemba elaphukileyo kunokuba yinto engathandekiyo. Omabini la macala anokulangazelela ukuba yonke inkqubo yokwakha igqitywe ngokukhawuleza okukhulu. Kodwa inyani, oku kuthatha ixesha.

Lingakanani ixesha, ngokuchanekileyo? Kuxhomekeka kwizinto ezininzi, ngakumbi umsitho owaphule intembeko.

Iindlela ezinde zokungathembeki okanye ukunganyaniseki kuya kuthatha ixesha elide ukusombulula. Ubuxoki obunye obusekwe kukungaqondani okanye umnqweno wokukhusela kunokuba lula ukujongana nawo, ngakumbi xa iqabane elixokileyo libonisa ukuzisola ngokunyanisekileyo kunye nokuzibophelela okuhlaziyiweyo kunxibelelwano.

Yiba nomonde nesiqu sakho. Ungavumeli iqabane lakho likukhawuleze. Umlingane ozisolayo ngokukuvisa ubuhlungu unokwenzakala, naye, kodwa ukuba bakukhathalele ngokwenyani kwaye bafuna ukulungisa izinto, kuya kufuneka baqonde ukuba akuncedi ukukhawuleza ubuyele emva ngendlela izinto ezazingayo.

Ngaba kufanelekile?

Ukwakha ukuthembana kwakhona ayonto ilula. Kuqhelekile ukubuza ukuba kufanelekile na ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo sokuzibophelela ekusebenzeni kubudlelwane bakho.

Ukuba iqabane lakho lenza impazamo okanye ezimbini ngaphezulu kobudlelwane obude kwaye zingabanini bazo, ukusebenza ngemicimbi yokuthembana kunokuba linyathelo elifanelekileyo.

Logama kusekho uthando kunye nokuzinikela phakathi kwenu nobabini, ukusebenza ngemicimbi yokuthembana kuya kwenza ubudlelwane bakho bomelele kuphela.

Kodwa ukuba uyazi ukuba awusoze uphinde uthembe ngokupheleleyo iqabane lakho, nokuba benza ntoni na, kulunge kakhulu ukuyenza icace le nto ngoko nangoko ukuze nobabini niqale ukuya phambili ngokwahlukeneyo.

Kukwafanelekile ukuba ulinganise ukhetho lwakho ukuba ufumanise iminyaka yokungathembeki, ukunganyaniseki kwezezimali, ubuqhetseba, okanye olunye ulwaphulo olukhulu lwentembeko.

Ezinye iiflegi ezibomvu ezinokuthi zibonise ukuba lixesha lokuphosa itawuli zibandakanya:

• ukuqhubeka nenkohliso okanye ubuqhetseba
• uxolo olunganyanisekanga
• isimilo esingahambelaniyo namazwi abo

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uyenze wedwa

Lonke ulwalamano luhamba ngesiqwengana esibi. Akukho hlazo ekufumaneni uncedo.

Iingcebiso ngesibini zinokuba sisixhobo esikhulu xa ujongene nemicimbi yokuthembana, ngakumbi leyo ibandakanya ukungathembeki. Umcebisi unokunika umbono ongakhethi cala ngobuhlobo bakho kwaye ancede omabini amaqabane asebenze kwimicimbi engaphantsi.

Ukuba neencoko ezinzima malunga nokungcatshwa kunye nokuthembana kunokubangela iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu kumacala omabini. Ukuba nomcebisi othembekileyo kunokukunceda uhambe kwiimvakalelo ezinzima njengoko zivela.

Umgca wezantsi

Kuyenzeka ukuba bakhe ubudlelwane kwakhona emva kokwaphula ukuthembana. Nokuba kufanelekile kuxhomekeke kwiimfuno zakho zobudlelwane nokuba uziva ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuthembela kwiqabane lakho kwakhona.

Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuzama ukulungisa izinto, zilungiselele izinto ezinokuthatha ixesha. Ukuba omabini amacala azibophelele kwinkqubo yokwakha ukuthembana kwakhona, unokufumanisa ukuba nobabini niphume nomelele kunangaphambili - njengesibini kunye ninodwa.