Ndingumama oQalayo onesiGulo esiNgapheliyo - kwaye andinantloni

Umxholo

• Ukuzikhathalela kuye kwandenza ndakwazi ukunyamekela usana lwam

Ngapha koko, ndamkela iindlela zokuphila nokugula kwam kuncede ukundilungiselela okuzayo.

Ndine-ulcerative colitis, uhlobo lwesifo samathumbu esivuthayo esatyhoboza isisu sam, oko kuthetha ukuba kwafuneka ukuba kususwe utyando lwam olukhulu kwaye ndanikwa ibhegi ye-stoma.

Kwiinyanga ezilishumi kamva, ndaba nokuguqulwa okubizwa ngokuba yi-ileo-rectal anastomosis, okuthetha ukuba amathumbu am amancinci adityaniswa ne-rectum yam ukundivumela ukuba ndiye kwindlu yangasese 'ngesiqhelo' kwakhona.

Ngaphandle koko, khange isebenze kakuhle ngoluhlobo.

Isiqhelo sam esitsha sisebenzisa indlu yangasese phakathi kwamaxesha ama-6 ukuya kwayi-8 ngemini kwaye ndinesifo sohudo esinganyangekiyo kuba andisenayo ikholoni yokwenza isitulo. Kuthetha ukujongana nezicubu ezibomvu kunye nentlungu esiswini kunye nokopha ngamanye amaxesha kwiindawo ezinokutsha. Kuthetha ukungabikho komzimba emzimbeni wam ukungakwazi ukufunxa izondlo ngokuchanekileyo, kunye nokudinwa ngenxa yesifo somzimba.

Ikwathetha ukuthatha izinto ngokulula xa ndifuna. Ukuthatha usuku emsebenzini xa ndifuna ukuphumla, kuba ndiye ndafunda ukuba ndiyasebenza kwaye ndiyila xa ndingazitshisi.

Andisaziva ndinetyala ngokuthatha usuku lokugula kuba ndiyazi ukuba yinto ekufuneka yenziwe ngumzimba wam ukuqhubeka.

Kuthetha ukurhoxisa izicwangciso xa ndidiniwe kakhulu ukuze ndikwazi ukulala kamnandi ebusuku. Ewe, kusenokwenzeka ukuba kubenza abantu baphantsi, kodwa ndifundile ukuba abo bakuthandayo baya kukufunela okona kulungileyo kwaye bangakhathazeki ukuba awukwazi ukudibana nekofu.

Ukuba nesifo esinganyangekiyo kuthetha ukuba kufuneka ndizinyamekele ngakumbi-ngakumbi ngoku ukuba ndikhulelwe, kuba ndikhathalela ezimbini.

Ukuzikhathalela kuye kwandenza ndakwazi ukunyamekela usana lwam

Ukusukela ukubhengeza ukukhulelwa kwam kwiiveki ezili-12, ndinempendulo ezahlukeneyo. Ewe, abantu bathe ukuvuyisana, kodwa kuye kwakho nokuthontelana kwemibuzo, enje ngala: "Uyakumelana njani nale nto?"

Abantu bacinga ukuba ngenxa yokuba umzimba wam udlule kakhulu kwezonyango, ngekhe ndikwazi ukuphatha ukumitha kunye nosana olusandul 'ukuzalwa.

Kodwa aba bantu bayaphazama.

Ngapha koko, ukutyhubela izinto ezininzi kuye kwandinyanzela ukuba ndomelele. Kuyandinyanzela ukuba ndijonge inombolo yokuqala. Ke ngoku inamba yokuqala ngumntwana wam.

Andikholelwa ukuba isigulo sam esinganyangekiyo siya kundichaphazela njengomama. Ewe, ndinokuba neentsuku ezinzima, kodwa ndinethamsanqa lokuba nosapho olundixhasayo. Ndiza kuqinisekisa ukuba ndiyacela kwaye ndithatha inkxaso xa ndiyidinga- kwaye ungaze ube neentloni ngaloo nto.

Kodwa ukwenza utyando kaninzi nokujongana nesifo esibuhlungu somzimba kuye kwandenza ndomelela. Andithandabuzi ukuba izinto ziya kuba nzima ngamanye amaxesha, kodwa uninzi lomama abatsha bayasokola neentsana ezisandula ukuzalwa. Akukho nto intsha leyo.

Ixesha elide, kuye kwafuneka ndicinge ngeyona nto indilungeleyo. Kwaye abantu abaninzi abayenzi loo nto.

Abantu abaninzi bathi ewe kwizinto abangafuni ukuzenza, batye izinto abangafuni kuzitya, babone abantu abangafuniyo ukuzibona. Ngelixa iminyaka yokugula okungapheliyo indenze, kwezinye iindlela 'ndizingca,' endicinga ukuba yinto elungileyo, kuba ndakhe amandla nokuzimisela ukwenza okufanayo nosana lwam.

Ndizakuba ngumama owomeleleyo, okhaliphileyo, kwaye ndizakuthetha xa ndingakulungelanga nto. Ndiza kuthetha xa ndifuna into. Ndiza kuzithethelela.

Andiziva ndinetyala ngokukhulelwa, nokuba. Andiqondi ukuba umntwana wam uyakuphulukana nantoni na.

Ngenxa yotyando lwam, ndaxelelwa ukuba ngekhe ndikwazi ukukhulelwa ngokwendalo, ngoko ke kwakumangalisa ngokupheleleyo xa kusenzeka ngokungacwangciswanga.

Ngenxa yale nto, ndibona olu sana njengosana lwam olungummangaliso, kwaye abayi kufumana nto ngaphandle kothando olungapheliyo kunye nokubulela ukuba ngabam.

Umntwana wam uya kuba nethamsanqa lokuba nomama onjengam kuba soze bafumane naluphi na olunye uhlobo lothando olufana nolo ndiza kubanika lona.

Ngandlela thile, ndicinga ukuba ukuba nesifo esinganyangekiyo kuya kuba nefuthe elihle kumntwana wam. Ndiza kukwazi ukubafundisa malunga nokukhubazeka okufihliweyo kwaye ndingagwebi incwadi ngekhava yayo. Ndiza kukwazi ukubafundisa ukuba babe novelwano nemfesane kuba awukwazi ukuba umntu uhlangabezana nantoni na. Ndiza kubafundisa ukuba baxhase kwaye bamkele abantu abakhubazekileyo.

Umntwana wam uya kukhuliswa abengumntu olungileyo, onesidima. Ndiyathemba ukuba ngumzekelo omhle emntwaneni wam, ukuze ndibaxelele izinto endikhe ndadlula kuzo kunye nezinto endidlula kuzo. Ukuze babone ukuba ngaphandle kwaleyo, ndisamile kwaye ndizama ukuba ngowona mama ungcono.

Kwaye ndiyathemba ukuba bayandijonga kwaye babone ukomelela kunye nokuzimisela, uthando, isibindi kunye nokuzamkela.

Kuba yilento ndinethemba lokuyibona kubo ngenye imini.

UHattie Gladwell yintatheli yezempilo yengqondo, umbhali kunye nommeli. Ubhala ngokugula kwengqondo enethemba lokunciphisa ibala kunye nokukhuthaza abanye ukuba bathethe.