Kutheni le nto impilo yakho yengqondo ngaphambi nasemva komntwana ibaluleke kangaka

Umxholo

• Ukuphazamiseka kwemeko yasemva kokubeleka akukhethi
• Uxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka alilingani nengqondo yasemva kokubeleka
• Nyanga impilo yakho yengqondo ngokufanayo nempilo yakho yomzimba
• Cela uncedo kwaye wamkele xa unikezelwa
• AWUKHO wedwa
• Kulungile ukuba ungalungi
• Ukuthatha

Abasetyhini abakhulelweyo okokuqala banokuchitha uninzi lokukhulelwa kwabo bafunda indlela yokunyamekela usana lwabo. Kodwa kuthekani ngokufunda indlela yokuzikhathalela?

Kukho amagama amathathu endinqwenela ukuba umntu athethe nawo ngexa ndandikhulelwe: impilo yengqondo yoomama. La magama mathathu ngewayenokwenza umahluko omkhulu ebomini bam xa ndandingumama.

Akwaba bekukho umntu othe, “Impilo yakho yoomama ingaphazamiseka ngaphambi nangemva kokukhulelwa. Oku kuqhelekile, kwaye kuyanyangeka. ” Akukho namnye owandixelelayo ukuba yeyiphi imiqondiso ekufuneka ndiyijongile, umngcipheko, okanye ukuba uye phi ngoncedo lobuchwephesha.

Bendingaphantsi kokulungiselela xa uxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka lundibethile ebusweni ngemini emva kokuba ndibuyise umntwana wam ekhaya esibhedlele. Ukungabikho kwemfundo endayifumana ngexesha lokukhulelwa kwakhokelela kumzingeli wokukhangela ukufumana uncedo endiludingayo ukuze ndiphilise.

Ukuba bendisazi ukuba yintoni na ukudandatheka emva kokubeleka, bangakanani abantu basetyhini abachaphazelayo, kwaye nendlela yokuyinyanga, ngendingaziva ndineentloni. Ngendandiqale unyango kwangoko. Kwaye bendinokubakho ngakumbi kunye nonyana wam kuloo nyaka wokuqala.

Nantsi enye into endinqwenela ukuba ndiyazi malunga nempilo yengqondo ngaphambi nasemva kokukhulelwa kwam.

Ukuphazamiseka kwemeko yasemva kokubeleka akukhethi

Xa ndandineenyanga ezisibhozo ndikhulelwe, umhlobo wam osenyongweni owayesandul 'ukuba nosana wandibuza, "Jen, ukhathazekile malunga naziphi na izinto zokudakumba emva kokubeleka?" Ndaphendula ngoko nangoko, “Ewe akunjalo. Oko ngekhe kwenzeke kum. ”

Bendonwabe ukuba ngumama, nditshatele iqabane elimangalisayo, ndiphumelele ebomini, kwaye sele ndinetoni zoncedo zilungelelaniswe, ndiye ndacinga ukuba ndicacile.

Ndifunde ngokukhawuleza ukuba ukudakumba emva kokubeleka akukhathali ngayo nayiphi na loo nto. Ndandinayo yonke inkxaso ehlabathini, ukanti ndagula.

Uxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka alilingani nengqondo yasemva kokubeleka

Inxalenye yesizathu sokuba ndingakholelwa ukuba uxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka lwalunokwenzeka kum kungenxa yokuba ndandingaqondi ukuba yintoni.

Ndihlala ndicinga ukuba ukudakumba emva kokubeleka kubhekiswa koomama obajonga ezindabeni abonzakalisa iintsana zabo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, nabo. Uninzi lwabo mama bane-postpartum psychosis, eyahluke kakhulu. I-Psychosis sisifo esinezifo ezixhaphakileyo, esichaphazela kuphela i-1 ukuya kwi-2 kwabasetyhini abali-1.

Nyanga impilo yakho yengqondo ngokufanayo nempilo yakho yomzimba

Ukuba ufumana umkhuhlane ophezulu kunye nokukhwehlela, mhlawumbi uya kubona ugqirha wakho ngaphandle kokucinga. Uya kulandela imiyalelo kagqirha wakho ngaphandle kombuzo. Ukanti xa umama omtsha enengxaki yempilo yakhe yengqondo, uhlala eneentloni kwaye athule cwaka.

Ukuphazamiseka kwemeko yasemva kokubeleka, njengokudakumba emva kokubeleka kunye noxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka, zizigulo zokwenyani ezifuna unyango lobungcali.

Bahlala befuna amayeza kanye njengezifo zomzimba. Kodwa oomama abaninzi babona ukuba kufuneka bathathe amayeza njengobuthathaka kunye nesibhengezo sokuba bohlulekile kubumama.

Ndivuka rhoqo ekuseni kwaye ndithatha indibaniselwano yeepilisi ezimbini zokudambisa ngaphandle kwentloni. Ukulwela impilo yam yengqondo kundomeleza. Yeyona ndlela ilungileyo yokuba ndikhathalele unyana wam.

Cela uncedo kwaye wamkele xa unikezelwa

Umama awenzelwanga ukuba wenziwe wedwa. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ujongane nayo wedwa kwaye akufuneki uzive unetyala ngokubuza into oyifunayo.

Ukuba une-postpartum mood disorder, wena ayikwazi uya kuzenza ngcono. Ndiqale ukuziva ngcono umzuzu endifumene ngawo ingcali yezonyango eneengxaki zokuphazamiseka kwasemva kokubeleka, kodwa kuye kwafuneka ndithethe kwaye ndicele uncedo.

Kwakhona funda ukuba ungathi ewe. Ukuba iqabane lakho linikezela ngokuhlamba nokunyikimisa umntwana ukuze ulale, yithi ewe. Ukuba udade wenu unikezela ukuza kuncedisa ngokuhlamba iimpahla kunye nezitya, myeke. Ukuba umhlobo uthembisa ukuseta uloliwe wokutya, yithi ewe. Kwaye ukuba abazali bakho bafuna ukuhlawulela umntwana ongumongikazi, i-postpartum doula, okanye iiyure ezimbalwa zokugcina umntwana, yamkele isicelo sabo.

AWUKHO wedwa

Kwiminyaka emihlanu edlulileyo, xa bendijongene nokudakumba emva kokubeleka, ndacinga ukuba yayindim kuphela. Bendingazi mntu ngokobuqu onexinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka. Andizange ndibone kukhankanywa kwimidiya yoluntu.

Ingcali yam yokubelekisa (OB) ayizange ize nayo. Ndacinga ukuba ndiyasilela ekubeni ngumama, into endiyikholelwayo iza ngokwendalo kuwo onke amanye amabhinqa emhlabeni.

Kwintloko yam, bekukho into engalunganga ngam. Bendingafuni kwanto edibanisa nonyana wam, ndingafuni ukuba ngumama, kwaye ndinokuphuma ebhedini okanye ndishiye indlu ngaphandle kokuyalelwa unyango ngeveki.

Inyaniso yeyokuba oomama abatsha abasi-7 bayachaphazeleka kwimicimbi yempilo yoomama ngonyaka. Ndiye ndaqonda ukuba ndiyinxalenye yesizwe samawakawaka oomama abajongana nento efanayo nam. Oko kwenza umahluko omkhulu ekuyekeni kweentloni endaziva.

Kulungile ukuba ungalungi

Ukuba ngumama kuya kukuvavanya ngeendlela ezingenanto enye.

Uvumelekile ukuba uzabalaze. Uvumelekile ukuba uwa. Uvumelekile ukuba uzive ufuna ukuyeka. Uvumelekile ukuba ungaziva ungcono, kwaye uyivume loo nto.

Sukuzigcina zimbi kwaye zonakele iinxalenye kunye neemvakalelo zokuba ngumama kuwe kuba elowo kuthi unazo. Abasenzi oomama ababi.

Yiba nobulali nesiqu sakho. Fumana abantu bakho-abo bahlala beyinyani, kodwa ungaze ugwebe. Ngabo abaza kukuxhasa kwaye bakwamkele nokuba kunjani.

Ukuthatha

Iiclichés ziyinyani. Kuya kufuneka ukhusele imaski yakho yeoksijini ngaphambi kokuba ukhusele eyakho yomntwana. Awunakho ukuthulula kwindebe engenanto. Ukuba umama uyehla, yonke inqanawa iyehla.

Konke oku kuyikhowudi nje: Imicimbi yezempilo yengqondo yoomama. Ndifunde ukukhathalela impilo yam yengqondo ngendlela enzima, isifundo esinyanzelwe kum sisigulo ebendingazi kwanto ngaso. Akufanelekanga ukuba ngale ndlela.

Masabelane ngamabali ethu kwaye siqhubeke nokwazisa. Ukubeka phambili impilo yethu yoomama ngaphambi nasemva kokuba umntwana kufuneka ibe yinto eqhelekileyo - hayi ngaphandle.

UJen Schwartz ngumyili weBlog yeMom Medicated kunye noMsunguli we-MOTHERHOOD | UKUQONDA, iqonga leendaba eluntwini elithetha ngokukodwa oomama abachaphazeleke kwimicimbi yezempilo yengqondo yoomama-izinto ezoyikisayo ezinje ngokudakumba emva kokubeleka, uxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka, kunye netoni yeminye imiba yobuchwephesha bobuchwephesha ethintela abantu basetyhini ukuba bazive ngathi bayimpumelelo ngoomama. UJen ngumbhali opapashiweyo, isithethi, inkokheli yokucinga, kunye negalelo kwiQela loMzali lanamhlanje, iiPopSugar Moms, i-Motherlucker, i-Mighty, i-Thrive Global, i-Suburban Misfit Mom, kunye neMogul. Ukubhala kwakhe kunye nenkcazo ibonakalisiwe kuyo yonke indawo kubaby blogosphere kwiiwebhsayithi eziphezulu ezinje ngoMama oMoyikisayo, uCafeMom, uHuffPost Parents, Sawubona uGiggles, kunye nokunye. Uhlala eyiNew Yorker kuqala, uhlala eCharlotte, NC, kunye nomyeni wakhe uJason, uMason ongumntu omncinci, kunye nenja uHarry Potter. Ngakumbi okuvela kuJen nakwi-MOTHERHOOD-UNDERSTOOD, nxibelelana naye nge-Instagram.