Ithatha iLali (eyiNene)

Umxholo

• Ngenisa ilali ebonakalayo
• Emva kokubeleka kwindyikityha yokufa
• Izixhobo ezifanelekileyo zoomama abatsha
• Ukuncancisa izixhobo

Ukukwazi ukudibanisa kwi-intanethi kundinike ilali endingekhe ndibenayo.

Xa ndikhulelweyo ngunyana wethu, ndaziva ndinyanzelekile ukuba ndibe "nelali". Emva kwayo yonke incwadi yokukhulelwa endiyifundileyo, yonke iapp kunye newebhusayithi endandindwendwela yona, nditsho nabahlobo kunye nosapho esele benabantwana, yandikhumbuza kaninzi ukuba ukuba nomntwana "kuthatha ilali."

Le mbono ngokuqinisekileyo yanditsala. Ndingathanda ukuba nomakhulu kunye noomakazi abakufutshane ukuze bandikhathalele emva kokubeleka, ndifike kwigumbi lethu sixhobile ngokutya okuphekwe ekhaya kunye neminyaka yobulumko.

Ngoku ukuba unyana wam azalwe, kuya kuba mnandi ukuba nodadewethu akufutshane azokugcina umntwana ukuze sihambe nomyeni wam ngomhla ofanelekileyo (kuba, masijongane nawo, umhla ubusuku Ngaphandle kombuzo xa usana olusandul 'ukuzalwa).

Ndinganika nantoni na ukuba ndihlale kufutshane nentombi zam ukuze zikhe ziyekha ikofu (kulungile, iwayini) ukudibana malunga nemiceli mngeni yokuba ngumama njengoko sibukele abantwana bethu bedlala kunye emgangathweni.

Idolophana eyaziwayo ayibonakali nje kuphela, ibalulekile. Abantu zizilwanyana zentlalo. Sidinga omnye nomnye ukuze siphile kwaye sonwabe.

Ngelishwa, kule mihla kunqabile kwaye kunqabile ukuhlala kwindawo enye nosapho kunye nabahlobo bakho. Ngaphandle kokuba ndingoyena mncinci kubantwana abahlanu, khange ndihlale kwisixeko esinye ngaphezu komntakwethu omnye ngaphezu kweminyaka elishumi.

Usapho lwam lusasazeke eMelika nase Canada. Usapho lomyeni wam nalo lihlala kwilizwe liphela. Ndiyazi abanye abazali abaninzi abakweso sikhephe sinye. Ngelixa ilali izwakala imnandi, ayinakulunga kuninzi lwethu.

Ukuhlala ngaphandle kosapho olusondeleyo kuthetha ukuba abazali abaninzi abatsha baziva bebodwa kwaye bebodwa ngexesha apho bafuna inkxaso kakhulu. Ngelixa uxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka kucingelwa ukuba lubangelwa kukudityaniswa kwezinto kubandakanya iihomoni kunye nebhayoloji, kubonise ukuba ukwahlukaniswa nako kunokuba sisizathu.

Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi ngexesha le-COVID-19 kunye nokuhamba emzimbeni, xa singenakuba nosapho kunye nabahlobo. Ngombulelo, kukho uhlobo olutsha lweedolophana ezithatha indawo-enye apho singadingi ukuba sisondele emzimbeni ukuze sidibaniswe.

Ngenisa ilali ebonakalayo

Enkosi kubuchwephesha bale mihla (ngakumbi amaqonga eentlanganiso afana ne-Zoom) siyakwazi ukunxibelelana nosapho, abahlobo, kunye nenethiwekhi enkulu yenkxaso ngeendlela esingazange sazifumana ngaphambili. Ngokwam, ngeendlela ezininzi, ndiziva ndixhaswa ngakumbi.

Phambi komyalelo wokuhlala ekhaya ekhaya, iintlanganiso zosapho wonke umntu angaya kuzo zenzeka kanye ngonyaka, kabini, ukuba sinethamsanqa. Ukuhlala kude kangaka kude, kuye kwafuneka siphoswe lilungu losapho lokuzalwa kunye nemingcwabo, ubhaptizo kunye ne-bat mitzvahs.

Ukusukela oko kuvaliwe, akukho namnye kusapho lwethu ophosileyo kumbhiyozo omnye. Siye sabamba amatheko okuzalwa kuWhatsApp kwaye sahlangana kunye ngeeholide ebesingazukuhlala sizigcina, njengePasika.

Ukuqhagamshela phantse kuye kwandivumela ukuba ndibone abahlobo bam rhoqo. Kuhlala kuthatha iinyanga ukuseta ukudibana kunye nabahlobo bam bamantombazana. Ngoku sijongana neXesha lokuSebenza nanini na xa ndinemibuzo entsha yomama, ehlala ihlala! Kuba sonke sisekhaya kwaye akufuneki sifumane ukhathalelo lwabantwana, ukuhlela iishedyuli zeeyure ezonwabileyo akukaze kube lula.

Unyana wam ufumana abahlobo abatsha, naye. Sihamba nomama weveki kunye nam iqela, eliye lahamba kwi-intanethi emva kokuthintelwa kwendawo yokuhlala. Apho, uya kubona ezinye iintsana kwaye afunde iingoma kunye nokuzilolonga.

Nam, ndiye ndazakhela ubuhlobo obutsha noomama abasuka kweli qela kwaye kusoloko kunika umdla ukuba "sibaleke" kubo neentsana zabo kwiiklasi ezahlukeneyo ezifana neyoga yosapho kunye neklasi yomntwana.

Iifayile zokudlala zeFaceTime zilunge ngakumbi njengoko zinokuhlala zifutshane njengemizuzu emi-5 kwaye unokutsiba ngokulula xa umntwana wakho ethe wanyibilika.

Emva kokubeleka kwindyikityha yokufa

Ekuqaleni, ndandidimazeke kakhulu lixesha lokuthintelwa ekhaya. Kwakubonakala kuhlekisa ukuba mna nosana lwam sasiphuma nje emva kwexesha lokubuyela emva kokubeleka xa sasicelwa ukuba sibuyele ekhaya.

Kodwa ndakhawuleza ndaliqonda elona thuba likhethekileyo ngoku. Ngaphandle kwesithintelo sokusondela, ndinofikelelo kubaboneleli kunye neenkonzo ngekhe ngenye indlela. Ayinamsebenzi ukuba umntu okanye into isekwe phi.

Ndisebenzise eli thuba ngokusebenza nengcali yezempilo ye-pelvic eyaziwayo esekwe kwisixeko esahlukileyo, ukudibana nonyango lwam, ngokwenza iiseshoni kunye nengcali yokuncancisa emantla, kwaye, xa sisondela kwixesha loqeqesho lokulala, iingcali kwihlabathi liphela (ngokoqobo) ziyafumaneka kuthi.

Ndijonge phambili ekwaziseni unyana wam kwisixeko sethu, kodwa ukuba nelali ebonakalayo kundivumele ukuba ndimazise kwihlabathi.

Ngelixa kungekho nto inokuthi ithathe indawo yamandla omntu okanye ukuhlangana ngokuhlala, ukukwazi ukuhlangana kwi-intanethi kusivumele ukuba sinxibelelane ngeendlela esingazange sizicinge. Ithemba lam kukuba sonke sihlala sikudibanisile nje ukuba ukuvalelwa kuphakanyisiwe, nokuba ikwiskrini.

Izixhobo ezifanelekileyo zoomama abatsha

Unokwenza ilali yakho yenkxaso. Nalu uluhlu lwezimvo ukuba ungaqala ngaphi.

Ukuncancisa izixhobo

• ILigi yeLa Leche. I-LLL yeyona nkxaso yaziwayo kunye neyona indala kunye nezixhobo zokuncancisa abazali. I-LLL inezahluko kuwo wonke umhlaba, ibonelela ngeefowuni zasimahla, kwaye idibanisa abazali kwiqela labo lenkxaso kuFacebook.
• Ikhonkco Lactation. Yenziwe ngumcebisi ngeLactation yeLactation yeBhodi yeHlabathi, ekwayi-RN kwaye ingumama wababini, le ndawo ijolise ekuxhobiseni abazali abancancisayo ngeevidiyo ezifunwayo, iiphakheji zevidiyo kunye nokuya kwi-e. Banikezela ngekhosi ye-imeyile yasimahla yeentsuku ezi-6 kunye nezinto ezisisiseko zokuncancisa.
• Ubisi lobisi. Indawo inikezela ngeentlobo ngeentlobo zeeklasi ezikwi-Intanethi ngentlawulo ngegama, ukusuka ekumpomfuleni emsebenzini ukonyusa ubonelelo lwakho.

• USarah Ezrin ngumkhuthazi, umbhali, utitshala weyoga kunye nomqeqeshi katitshala weyoga. Ngokusekwe eSan Francisco, apho ahlala khona nomyeni wakhe kunye nenja yabo, uSara utshintsha umhlaba, efundisa ukuzithanda kumntu omnye ngexesha. Ngolwazi oluthe kratya ngoSarah ndwendwela iwebhusayithi, www.samzlongoza.com.