Ndifunde njani ukuthemba umzimba wam kwakhona emva kokutshata

Umxholo

• Thatha ikhefu.
• Yonwaba ngakumbi.
• Phuhlisa indlela yokucamngca.
• Yondla umzimba wakho.
• Yiba nombono wekamva lakho.
• Uphengululo lwe

Kumhla wam wokuzalwa we-30 kaJulayi ophelileyo, ndifumene esona sipho sibalaseleyo emhlabeni: Mna nomyeni wam safumanisa ukuba sikhulelwe emva kweenyanga ezintandathu zokuzama. Kwakungokuhlwa phakathi kwehlobo, kwaye sasilele kwiveranda yethu ekhanyise ukukhanya e-Edison sijonga iimpukane kwaye siphupha ngekamva lethu. Ndandicinga ukuba yinkwenkwe, ngelixa u-hubby wayeqikelela intombazana. Kodwa ayinamsebenzi-siza kuba ngabazali.

Malunga neveki kamva, ndavuka ezinzulwini zobusuku ndinemingxuma ebukhali ndaza ndabalekela kwigumbi langasese. Ndabona isuntswana legazi elibomvu ngokuqaqambileyo kwiphepha langasese, kwaye ngelixa entliziyweni yam wayesazi, Ndazama ukubuyela ebhedini.

Kwiiyure ezimbini ezilandelayo ndandizijula-jula, iintlungu zazisiba mbi nokopha. Oku kuqinisekisile uloyiko lwam olukhulu: bendiphunyelwa sisisu. Ndithe ndilele apho ndilila ndingcangcazela ndingalawulekiyo, umyeni wam wandibamba endiqinisile esithi, "Kuzolunga."

Kodwa ngaba kunjalo? Ndaziva ndindindisholo, ingqondo yam izele ziingcinga nemibuzo engapheliyo. Ngaba yayilityala lam? Ngaba ikhona into endiyenzileyo ngokwahlukileyo? Ngaba yayiyiglasi yewayini endandinayo kwiveki ephelileyo? Kutheni mna? Ndisisidenge ukuba ndonwabe ngokukhawuleza, bekufanele ukuba ndisebenza ngakumbi. Iincoko ebendinazo entloko bezingapheli kwaye bendiqala ngqa ebomini bam ukuba ndixheleke umphefumlo.

Le yindlela yokuphendula yendalo ebizwa ngokuba "lityala likamama," utshilo u-Iffath Hoskins, MD, unjingalwazi onxulumene neklinikhi kwisebe lezokubelekisa nakwigynecology e-NYU Langone Health, ophatha ukuphuma kwesisu okuphindayo.

"Kukho into yokuba buhlungu, kodwa awukwazi ukuzibeka ityala," uDkt Hoskins undixelela. Ucacisa ukuba uninzi lokuphunyelwa zizisu kubangelwa yi-chromosomal abnormalities. Yindlela kaMama Wendalo yokuthi oku kukhulelwa bekungafanelekanga ukuba kwenzeke, kwaye kwiimeko ezininzi, akukho nto unokuyenza, utshilo uGqirha Hoskins. Kwiphepha elinethemba, uthi ithuba lokuqhubeka nokukhulelwa ngempumelelo likuluhlu lweepesenti ezingama-90.

Njengokuba bendivula amava am kubahlobo nakusapho, ndiye ndafumanisa ukuba ukuphuma kwesisu kuxhaphake kakhulu kunokuba bendicinga. Ngokwe-American Pregnancy Association, iipesenti ezili-10 ukuya kwezi-25 zokukhulelwa ziya kugqitywa kukukhulelwa, kunye nokukhulelwa kweekhemikhali (ilahleko kungekudala emva kokumiliselwa) kubalwa ama-50 ukuya kuma-75 epesenti yazo zonke izisu.

Nditsho nabasetyhini endibajongayo ngobomi obubonakala bugqibelele kwaye neentsapho ziveze amabali abo ayimfihlo elahleko. Ngesiquphe, andaziva ndindedwa. Ndaziva ndonwabile kunxibelelwano, ubudade, kunye nombulelo ngokukwazi ukwabelana ngebali lam, ngelixa ndikhuthaza abanye abantu basetyhini ukuba babelane nabo. (Idibeneyo: UShawn Johnson Uvula malunga nokuTshata kwakhe kwiVidiyo yeemvakalelo)

Ngeli xesha, bendisazi ukuba umyeni wam ulungile: Bendizakulunga.

Sagqiba kwelokuba sithathe ikhefu leenyanga ezimbalwa ekuzameni ukukhulelwa ukuze ndiphilise ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo. Ukufika kukaSeptemba, kwavakala njengexesha elifanelekileyo lokuba uphinde uzame kwakhona. Ukusukela ukuba ndandikhulelwe ngaphambili, ndandicinga ukuba kungalula kuthi ngeli xesha. Nyanga nganye bendisazi nje ukuba ndikhulelwe, ndibuliswe ngolunye uvavanyo lokukhulelwa olungenanto lulandelwa nguMakazi olungileyo uFlo.

Ndenza imephu yokucacisa imeko endinokuyixelela ngayo usapho lwam inyanga nenyanga. Ngo-Novemba, ndacwangcisa ukwabelana ngeendaba ngexesha lethu lombulelo wonyaka. Ngelixa wonke umntu ejikeleza itafile esabelana ngezinto ezibulelayo, ndandisithi "Nditya isibini," kwaye kwakuza kulandela ukuhleka, ukuwola, kunye neetosti. Ngelishwa, andikaze ndihlale kwezi meko.

Emva kweenyanga ezintathu zovavanyo lwe-negative pregnancy, ndaqalisa ukuphelelwa lithemba kwaye ndizibuza ukuba yintoni ingxaki yam. Ke ekupheleni kuka-Novemba, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndizame into encinci phaya-ndaze ndenza idinga noJo Homar, umthunywa womoya ocacileyo kunye nomphilisi onomdla endithunyelwe kuye onikezela ngeenkonzo ezahlukeneyo kubandakanya ukufundwa okunomdla kwezonyango kunye nereiki iiseshoni zokuphilisa. Emva kweseshoni yomnxeba kunye naye, wandixelela ukuba yayiyindlela yam yokucinga eyayindibamba ukuba ndingakhulelwa kwaye umntwana wayeza kuza xa umntwana ekulungele-ngokucacileyo hayi de kube lixesha lokuwa kuka-2018. Ngelixa ndiqala ukuziva Ndidimazekile kwaye ndingenamonde, ndaziva ndiziva ndikhululekile. (Jonga kwakhona: Ngaba iReiki inganceda ngokukhathazeka?)

Ndilandele ingcebiso kaHomar kwaye ndacima zonke iiapps zam ndayeka nokuzama ngaloo nyanga. Ngequbuliso, yasuswa ingcinezelo enkulu kum. Nditye imithwalo ye-salmon avocado maki rolls, ndabelana ngesondo kunye nomyeni wam kuphela xa sisemoyeni, ndakhupha iikofu ze-Nitro, kwaye ndazinika ixesha lobusuku bamantombazana obuzaliswe zii-tacos, i-guacamole, kwaye ewe, itequila! Ngethuba lokuqala ngonyaka, ndandilungile ngokupheleleyo ngexesha lam elizayo.

Ngaphandle kokuba ayenzanga. Ndothuka, kwiiveki ezimbini kamva, ndafumana uvavanyo lokukhulelwa kwam! "Ummangaliso weKrisimesi!"Ndakhwaza umyeni wam.

Hayi, andiqondi ukuba ibingumlingo, kodwa futhi andiqondi ukuba yayiyinto eyenzekileyo ukuba inyanga esayeka ngayo ukuzama ukukhulelwa. Ndibalula impumelelo yethu kwinto enye enkulu: ukuthembela. Ngokuthembela kumzimba wam kunye nendalo yonke, ndakwazi ukukhulula lonke uloyiko olwaluthintela usana ukuba lufike, kwaye ndivumele ukuba kwenzeke nje. (Kwaye ndithembe-bekukho uloyiko oluninzi.) Kwaye ngelixa iingcali zingazi ukuba njani ngokuchanekileyo uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo lunokuchaphazela ukuchuma, uphando lokuqala lubonisa unxibelelwano phakathi koxinzelelo kunye nokuzala, ukuxhasa yonke into "uya kumitha xa uyeka ukuzama into". (Okungakumbi koku apha: Yintoni i-Ob-Gyns enqwenela ukuba abantu basetyhini bazi malunga nokuchuma kwabo)

Ke ngoku ulugxotha njani uloyiko kunye nokuthembela emzimbeni wakho xa yonke into oyifunayo ngaphezu kwayo nayiphi na into kukukhulelwa ngoku? Nanga amaqhinga amahlanu andincedileyo ukutshintsha indlela endicinga ngayo.

Thatha ikhefu.

Abalandeleli bexesha, iikiti zokuqikelela i-ovulation, kunye novavanyo lwe- $ 20 lokukhulelwa lunokuba lukhulu kakhulu (kwaye lubize), lwenze ukuba yonke inkqubo ibe ngathi luvavanyo lwesayensi. Kuba ukutyeba ngaphezulu kokulandela umkhondo bekundiphambanisa kwaye ndisebenzisa iingcinga zam, ukuthatha ingcebiso kaHomar kunye nokuyiyeka ihambe kancinci kwakukhulu kum. Ukuba uzama ixesha elithile, cinga ukuthatha ikhefu kulo lonke ukulandelela kwaye uhambe ngendlela umzimba wakho ovakalelwa ngayo. Akukho nto imbi njengoku "busi, ndiyayivula" isondo, kwaye kukho into ekhethekileyo ngokumangaliswa lixesha elilahlekileyo.

Yonwaba ngakumbi.

Masibe yinyani: Yonke inkqubo yokuzama ukukhulelwa ayisiyonto intle, ngakumbi xa uphila ngexesha le-ovulation okanye ubala uloyiko "iiveki ezimbini ulindile." Yiyo loo nto uHomar ecebisa ukuba ugxile ekongezeni ulonwabo ngakumbi ebomini bakho. "Xa kufikwa kwiiveki ezimbini zokulinda, ungayijonga ngokwembono ezimbini. Nokuba ungahlala unqabile malunga nokuba 'ungathini' okanye ungaphila ubomi, utshilo uHomar. "Ukukhulelwa bubomi, kungoko kutheni ungakhethi ubomi obugcweleyo ngelixesha? Ukuba ujolise kulonwabo, uvuyo kunye nobomi, yiyo loo nto uthumela amandla aqinisekileyo, anokubangela ukukhulelwa okuyimpumelelo. "

Phuhlisa indlela yokucamngca.

Ukucamngca kwemihla ngemihla yenye yezona zinto zitshintsha kakhulu kwizixhobo zam zempilo. Ndisebenzisa iNkqubo yokucamngca ekulindelweyo, eneengcinga ezithile kwabo balungiselela ukukhulelwa, njengokuthi "Ukuthembela kuMzimba." Bade benza Isikhokelo senkxaso yokuPhulukana nokuKhulelwa simahla kubandakanya nokucamngca kunye neengcebiso ngeengcali. (Idibeneyo: 17 Izibonelelo ezinamandla zokucamngca)

Umseki olindelekileyo kunye nesikhokelo soluntu u-Anna Gannon uthi le app inceda abafazi abazama ukukhawula ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo kwaye babe ngoku. Ukucamngca ayisiyonyango, kodwa sisixhobo, utshilo uGannon. "Yivithamini yokukhulelwa kwengqondo yakho." Singasathethi ke, uphando lubonisa ukucamngca kunokunceda ukukhulisa ukuchuma, ukulinganisela amahomoni, kunye nokunciphisa uxinzelelo. Phumelela, phumelela, phumelela.

Yondla umzimba wakho.

Okwexeshana, bendixakwe kukulandela ukutya “okugqibeleleyo” kokutya, kwaye ndingade ndizivumele ikomityi yekofu ngamaxesha athile. (Eyeleleneyo: Ngaba Ukusela Ikofu *Ngaphambi* Ukukhulelwa Kunokubangela UkuPhuphuma Kwesisu?) Kodwa endaweni yokugxila ekubeni "ukuchumisa," iingcali zithi kufuneka ugxininise ekuphuculeni impilo yakho yonke. Aimee Raupp, acupuncturist kunye nombhali Ewe, Ungakhulelwa, ucacisa ukuba ukuzala kwakho kukongezwa kwempilo yakho. "Bhiyozela uloyiso oluncinci njengokuqaqanjelwa yintloko okanye ukungaziva udumbile, kwaye uyazi ukuba ukuzala kwakho kuyaphucuka apha endleleni," utshilo uRaupp.

Yiba nombono wekamva lakho.

Xa ndiziva ndingenathemba, ndandicinga ngobomi bam nosana. Ndiya kucinga ngesisu sam sikhula, kwaye ndibambe isisu sam emanzini, ndithumela uthando. Kwinyanga engaphambi kokuba ndikhulelwe, ndafumana itattoo yethutyana eyayisithi, "Ngokwenene uyakwazi," endikhumbuza ukuba umzimba wam ngenene unako yenza oku.

“Ukuba ungayikholelwa, ungayifeza,” utshilo uRaupp. Ucebisa ukuba uchithe ixesha ekuboneni ucinga malunga neempahla zomntwana, imibala ye-nursery yakho, kwaye ubomi buya kuba njani kunye nencinci. "Sihlelelwe ukuba sicinge ngeyona meko imbi kakhulu, kodwa xa ndibuza abathengi ukuba 'ukuba uthe cwaka ngokwaneleyo ingqondo yakho kwaye unxibelelane nentliziyo yakho, uyakholelwa ukuba uza kuba nalo mntwana?' Iipesenti ezingama-99 kuzo zithi ewe. Kholelwa ukuba iya kwenzeka nakuwe. (Ngakumbi: Uyisebenzisa njani iVisualization ukufezekisa iinjongo zakho)

Uphengululo lwe