Ubunzima beMidlife kwabaseTyhini: Ungawufumana njani uLungelelwaniso lwakho lweSilivere

Umxholo

• Ngaba ingxaki yobomi bentsomi yintsomi?
• Ke ijongeka kanjani imeko yobomi baphakathi kwabafazi?
• Yintoni ezisa ingxaki kwabasetyhini?
• Inxalenye yomzimba
• Inxalenye yeemvakalelo
• Kwaye kuyinxalenye yoluntu
• Yintoni ongayenza ngayo?
• Uluhlu lwesilivere

Sibandakanya iimveliso esicinga ukuba ziluncedo kubafundi bethu. Ukuba uthenga amakhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Nantsi inkqubo yethu.

Ingathi ubukele iWizard yeOz ngasemva. Ngenye imini, wonke umntu uyacula kwaye uyadanisa. Imibala idlamkile-iidolophu zeemerald, izitya zerubhi, izitena ezityheli- kwaye into elandelayo uyazi, yonke into imnyama nomhlophe, ibunile njengentsimi yengqolowa yaseKansas.

Ngaba unengxaki yobomi obuphakathi? Ungazi njani ukuba uziva njani, okanye hayi imvakalelo, ngaba kukudakumba, ukuqala kancinci kokuyeka ukuya exesheni, okanye yinto eqhelekileyo yokutshintsha ukusuka kwinqanaba lobomi uye kwelinye?

Ngaba ingxaki yobomi bentsomi yintsomi?

Kangangexesha elithile, iingcali zempilo yengqondo ziye zaxoxa malunga nokuba ngaba iingxaki zobomi bentsana ziyinyani. Igama elithi "ingxaki yobomi obuphakathi," emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ayisiyiyo imeko yokuqonda impilo. Kwaye nangona uninzi lwabantu lunokukuxelela ukuba yintoni ingxaki yobomi bendawo yokuphila, isifundo esinye sexesha elide safumanisa ukuba bangama-26 kuphela abantu baseMelika abathi banayo.

Nokuba siyibiza njani, ixesha elide lokugula kunye nokubuza phakathi kwama-40 nama-60 phantse kuyo yonke indawo kubantu besini esahlukileyo. Abaphandi bayazi amashumi eminyaka ukuba ulonwabo lufikelela kwinqanaba eliphantsi kubomi obuphakathi ngaphambi kokubuyela kwakhona njengoko sikhula. Ngapha koko, iigrafu ezininzi ezimilise u-U zibeka imincopho kunye neentlambo zolwaneliseko lomntu, kunye nezifundo zamva nje ezibonisa umahluko phakathi kwamadoda nabasetyhini.

Ke ijongeka kanjani imeko yobomi baphakathi kwabafazi?

Kubonakala ngathi ulila yonke indlela egodukayo ushiya umntwana wakho osekholejini. Kubonakala ngathi ukucandwa komhlaba kwinkomfa kuba awusazi ukuba kutheni usenza lo msebenzi. Kubonakala ngathi isimemo sokuhlangana sidibene kudoti kuba khange ube yiyo yonke into ocwangcise ukuba yiyo. Njengokuvuka ezinzulwini zobusuku, kusongelwe kukukhathazeka ngokwezezimali. Njengokuqhawula umtshato. Kwaye ukukhathala okuphelile. Kwaye isinqe awusazi.

Ubunzima obuphakathi kobomi babekhe bachazwa ngokwemigaqo yesini: Abasetyhini babedidekile kwaye baphoxekile lutshintsho olunxulumene nolwalamano kunye namadoda ngotshintsho lomsebenzi. Njengabafazi abaninzi abalandela amakhondo emisebenzi kwaye baba ngabondli, amaxhala abo okuphila phakathi kobuntu andile. Imeko yobomi bendawo yobomi ijongeka kanjani ixhomekeke kumfazi onamava kuyo.

Yintoni ezisa ingxaki kwabasetyhini?

Njengoko uNora Ephron watsho, "Awuyi kuba nguwe-ozinzileyo, ongaguqukiyo-ngonaphakade." Sonke siyatshintsha, kwaye ingxaki yeminyaka yobomi bakwangobungqina.

Inxalenye yomzimba

Ngexesha lokuphela kwexesha kunye nokuyeka ukuya exesheni, ukutshintsha kwehomoni kunokubangela okanye kube negalelo kwingxaki. Ngokutsho koogqirha baseMayo Clinic, ukwehla kwamanqanaba e-estrogen kunye neprogesterone kunokuphazamisa ubuthongo bakho, kwenze ukuba imeko yakho ivuleke, kunye nokunciphisa amandla akho. Ukuyeka ukuya exesheni kunokubangela ukulahleka kwememori, unxunguphalo, ukuzuza ubunzima, kunye nokwehla komdla kwizinto obukade uzonwabela.

Inxalenye yeemvakalelo

Ngexesha lokufikelela kubudala obuphakathi, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uya kuba nakho ukonzakala okanye ilahleko. Ukusweleka kwelungu losapho, utshintsho olubalulekileyo kubuni bakho, uqhawulo-mtshato, ukuxhatshazwa emzimbeni okanye emphefumlweni, iziqendu zocalucalulo, ukuphulukana nokuzala, isifo sendlwane esingenanto, kunye namanye amava kusenokwenzeka ukuba akushiye unentliziyo engapheliyo yentlungu. Unokuzifumana uthandabuza iinkolelo zakho ezinzulu kunye nokhetho lwakho lokuzithemba.

Kwaye kuyinxalenye yoluntu

Uluntu lwethu olujonge ulutsha alusoloko lunobubele kwabasetyhini abagugileyo. Njengabafazi abaninzi, unokuziva ungabonakali xa ufikelela kubudala obuphakathi. Unokuziva uxinezelekile ukuba ungazifihli iimpawu zokwaluphala. Usenokuba unengxaki yokunyamekela abantwana bakho nabazali bakho abalupheleyo ngaxeshanye. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba kuye kwanyanzeleka ukuba wenze ukhetho olunzima malunga nosapho kunye nomsebenzi abantu bakho abangazange bakwenze. Kwaye uqhawulo mtshato okanye umsantsa womvuzo usenokuthetha ukuba unexhala elingapheliyo lezemali.

Yintoni ongayenza ngayo?

Kwi "Ukufunda ukuhamba ebumnyameni," uBarbara Brown Taylor ubuza, "Kuthekani ukuba ndingalandela olunye loloyiko lwam olukhulu ukuya esiphelweni senzonzobila, ndibethwe ngumoya, ndiqhubeke? Alikho ithuba lokothuka yile izakwenzeka? ” Ubomi obuphakathi kunokuba lelona thuba lifanelekileyo lokufumanisa.

Ukuba izazinzulu ze-U-curve zichanekile, ubuncinci bakho be-midlife malaise bunokuzicombulula njengoko usiya ukhula. Kodwa ukuba ufuna ukubamba inaliti kwimitha yakho yolwaneliseko kungekudala, Nazi ezinye izinto onokuzenza. Thetha nogqirha. Uninzi lweempawu zengxaki yobomi baphakathi ebudeni baphakathi kukudakumba, unxunguphalo kunye nokungalingani kwehomoni. Ukuba uhlangabezana ne-blues yasebusuku, ugqirha wakho unokumisela unyango lwe-hormone, i-anti-depressants, okanye amayeza okulwa nexhala ukunceda kwiimpawu zakho.

Thetha nonyango. Ukunyanga kwengqondo, ukuqeqesha ubomi, okanye unyango lweqela kunokukunceda usebenze ngeentlungu, ulawule uxinzelelo, kwaye ucwangcise indlela eya kuzaliseko olukhulu.

Thetha nabahlobo bakho. Uphononongo luka-2012 lubonisa ukuba uninzi lwabasetyhini lwazi ntoni kumava okuzibonela: Ubomi obuphakathi kulula xa ujikelezwe sisangqa sabahlobo. Abasetyhini nabahlobo banoluvo olukhulu lokuphila kunabo bangenalo. Akukho namalungu osapho anefuthe elikhulu.

Nxibelelana kwakhona nendalo. Izifundo zibonisa ukuba ukuchitha ixesha ngaphandle, nokuba yimizuzu embalwa ngosuku, kunokuyinyusa imeko yakho kwaye kuphucule indlela ojonga ngayo. Ukuhlala ngaselunxwemeni lolwandle, kunye nokuzilolonga ngaphandle konke ukulwa usizi kunye noxinzelelo.

Zama amayeza asekhaya kunye nokutya okusempilweni. Nazi iindaba ezimnandi ngakumbi: Ufikelele kubudala apho kungasayi kubakho mfuneko yokuba uphinde utye imacaroni kunye netshizi enebhokisi. Yitya izinto ezilungileyo-amagqabi anamagqabi, iziqhamo, kunye nemifuno kuyo yonke imibala yomnyama, iiproteni ezibhityileyo. Ukutya kwakho kunokukunceda uphile ixesha elide kwaye uzive ungcono. I-Melatonin kunye ne-magnesium supplements inokukunceda ukuba ulale kakuhle ebusuku, kwaye zinokunceda ukunciphisa uxinzelelo.

Bhala phantsi oko ukufezekisileyo. Ayisiyonto enkulu nje enje ngamabhaso, izidanga kunye nezihloko zomsebenzi. Bhala konke phantsi: ukwenzakala okusindileyo, abantu obathandayo, abahlobo obahlanguleyo, iindawo ozihambileyo, iindawo ozivolontiye kuzo, iincwadi ozifundileyo, izityalo okwazileyo ukungazibulali. Eli xesha lingwevu ayilo bali lakho lonke. Thatha ixesha lokuhlonipha yonke into oyenzileyo kwaye ubukho.

Thatha amanyathelo aya kwikamva elitsha. Umbhali wenoveli uGeorge Eliot uthe, "Akusoze kwaphela ukuba ube yile nto ubuyiyo." Thatha ikhosi ekwi-Intanethi, wenze uphando ngenoveli, uvule iloli yokutya, okanye uqalise. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uphinde ugqibezele usapho lwakho okanye ikhondo lomsebenzi wakho ukuze wenze utshintsho lwezinto kulonwabo lwakho.

Funda. Funda iincwadi ezikhuthazayo, ezixhobisayo, okanye ezikukhuthazayo ukuba uzame into entsha.

Nalu uluhlu lokufunda phakathi kobusuku. Ezinye zezi ncwadi ziya kukuxhobisa kwaye zikukhuthaze. Abanye baya kukunceda ukuba ube buhlungu. Abanye baya kukuhlekisa.

• "Ubugorha obukhulu: Indlela isibindi sokuba sesichengeni siyiguqula ngayo indlela esiphila ngayo, uthando, umzali kunye nenkokheli yethu" nguBrené Brown.
• "Ukhetho B: Ukujongana nobunzima, ukomeleza ukwakha, kunye nokufumana uvuyo" nguSheryl Sandberg noAdam Grant.
• "Uyi-Badass: Ungayeka Njani Ukuthandabuza Ubukhulu Bakho kwaye Uqale Ukuphila Ubomi Obuqilima" nguJen Sincero.
• "Ubugqi oMkhulu: UkuPhila ngokuYilayo ngaphandle koloyiko" ngu-Elizabeth Gilbert.
• "Ukufunda ukuhamba ebumnyameni" nguBarbara Brown Taylor.
• "Ndiva kabuhlungu Ngentamo Yam: Nezinye Iingcinga Zokuba Ngumfazi" nguNora Ephron.
• "Khanyisa: Ungakhula njani endaweni yokoNdala" nguClaire Cook

Uluhlu lwesilivere

"Ingxaki yobomi" inokuba lelinye igama losizi, ukudinwa, kunye noxinzelelo olunokuchaphazela abantu ixesha elide phakathi kweminyaka engama-40 nama-60. Imvelaphi inokuba yeyomzimba, yovakalelo okanye yoluntu.

Ukuba ufumana into efana nengxaki yobomi obuphakathi, unokufumana uncedo kugqirha, ugqirha, okanye umntu okwisangqa sabahlobo bakho. Ukutya okunempilo, ukuzivocavoca, ixesha elichithwe kwindalo, kunye nezonyango zendalo kunokunceda ukunciphisa iimpawu zakho de kudlule eli xesha lotshintsho.

Abasetyhini ngabona basemngciphekweni ngokukhethekileyo kubomi obusebusuku, kungekuphela ngenxa yotshintsho kwimizimba yethu, kodwa ngenxa yokuba uluntu lufuna ukuba sibanyamekele, sondle, kwaye sibe ziindlovukazi zobuhle ngaxeshanye. Kwaye kwanele ukwenza ukuba nabani na afune ukuthatha inkanyamba yokuqala ngaphandle kwedolophu.

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