Ndacamngca yonke imihla ngeNyanga kwaye ndandiSobbed kube kanye

Umxholo

• Ukufumana okundisebenzeleyo
• Inyathelo Lokuqala
• Indawo yoTshintsho
• Isiphumo
• Uphengululo lwe

Njalo kwiinyanga ezimbalwa, ndibona iintengiso ze-Oprah Winfrey kunye ne-Deepak Chopra enkulu, iziganeko zokucamngca iintsuku ze-30. Bathembisa ukuba "ukubonakalisa ikamva lakho kwiintsuku ze-30" okanye "ukwenza ubomi bakho buphumelele." Ndihlala ndibhalisa, ndiziva ndikulungele ukuzibophelela kwiinguqu ezinkulu zobomi-kwaye ndenza zonke izizathu phantsi kwelanga malunga nokuba kutheni ndingenayo imizuzu engama-20 ngosuku lwam ukuvala amehlo am kwaye ndihlale.

Kodwa kulo Septemba, kukho into etshintshileyo. Ndifike kwiminyaka engama-40 kwaye ndathatha isigqibo sokusebenzisa eso siganeko sibalulekileyo ukusula isileyiti, ukucima i-hang-ups endala, kwaye ndiqale ngokutsha ubomi bam. Ndifuna ukubakhona ngakumbi njengomama nenkosikazi, ndikhethe ngakumbi kwaye ndibaluleke kakhulu kwikhondo lam lomsebenzi, kwaye ngokubanzi, ndizinze ngakumbi ukuze ndibunandiphe ubomi bam ngaphandle kwamakhorasi athi "kuthekani ukuba" okanye "kutheni" endisinda. Ngoko ke, ekugqibeleni ndagqiba ekubeni ndilahle izizathu kwaye ndenze oko u-Oprah no-Deepak bebenomngeni iminyaka: camngca ngeentsuku ze-30 ngqo.

Ukufumana okundisebenzeleyo

Kwabo bangaziyo, iingenelo zokucamngca zizukile. Ukucamngca kuyaziwa ngokulola ugxininiso lwakho, ukunciphisa ixhala, ukwandisa amandla, ukuphucula amandla, kunye nokwenza imbaleki engcono.

Ndiyazi ukuba ukuze ndiqale inkqubo entsha, kufuneka ndibeke ibar ephantsi ngeenjongo eziyinyani-ngakumbi ukuba ndifuna ukuyiguqula ibe ngumkhwa. Ndikhuphele i-app yokucamngca ebizwa ngokuba yiCalm kwaye ndizibophelele ekucamngceni kangangeentsuku ezingama-30. Noko ke, ngaphambi kokuba ndiqalise, ndandiqiniseka ukuba andizibeki mda wokuba ndicamngce kancinane okanye ixesha elide kangakanani suku ngalunye. Ndandisazi nje emva kwengqondo yam ukuba ndingathanda ukuzakhela ukuya kwimizuzu engama-20.

Inyathelo Lokuqala

Ngomhla wokuqala, ndiye ndancinci kwaye ndathatha isigqibo sokuzama inqaku elithi "phefumla i-bubble" kwi-Calm app. Kubandakanya ukujonga isangqa kunye nokuzoba umphefumlo wam njengoko wawusanda kwaye ukhupha umoya njengoko usiba mncinci. Emva kokuphefumla kwe-10 ndiyibize ukuba iyayeka, ndiziva ndonelisekile yinkqubela yam. (Ufuna ukuqalisa ukucamngca? Jonga isikhokelo sabaqalayo.)

Ngelishwa, ayenzanga nto ukundithulisa okanye ukuphucula usuku lwam. Ndandiqhubeka ndibamba umyeni wam kwaye ndiziva ndikhathazekile ngumntwana wam omncinci, kwaye ndaziva ukuba intliziyo yam iyabetha xa iarhente yam yoncwadi indixelela ukuba isindululo sencwadi sam sifumene ukwaliwa.

Ngomhla wesibini, ndaye ndathatha isigqibo sokuthatha izinto phezulu kwaye ndazama ukucamngca okuchasene nokuxhalaba. Ndivale amehlo am kwaye ndavumela ilizwi elipholileyo lomqeqeshi wokucamngca ngenyani lindikhokele kwindawo etofotofo. Njengoko ithamsanqa ibiya kuba nayo, bekukufutshane nexesha lokulala ndaye ndangena phantsi kwezikhuselo, ndanyoshoza kumqamelelo wam, ndalala kwangoko. Ndavuka ngosuku olulandelayo ndizibuza ukuba ingaba le nto yokucamngca ibiyiyo na kum.

Indawo yoTshintsho

Sekunjalo, ndandizimisele ukunamathela kwisicwangciso sam seentsuku ezingama-30. Kwaye ndiyavuya ukuba ndiyenzile kuba bekungekho kude kube ngumhla we-10 apho kukho into ecofayo.

Ndidla ngokucinga eyona imbi kakhulu-kwaye ayisiyongozi okanye ayivelisi. Kuyadinisa ukuhlala kumlo ongapheliyo nengqondo yakho, kwaye bendisazi ukuba ndifuna uxolo. Ke, ndivale amehlo kwaye ndanyanzela ingqondo yam ukuba ingabhaduli okanye indilalise ukuze ndilale. (Inxulumene: Iindlela ezisixhenxe zoXinzelelo-ezingaphantsi kweendlela zokujongana noxinzelelo kwiJob)

Okwangoku, bendisifundile isifundo sam ukuba ukucamngca ebhedini kwakulingana nokuthatha i-Ambien. Ke ndiye ndasebenzisa ukusebenzisa i-Calm app ngelixa ndihleli phantsi, ndibuyele nkqo kwaye izandla zikwindawo yokuthandaza entliziyweni yam. Kwimizuzu embalwa yokuqala, andizange ndikwazi ukuzinza. Ingqondo yam yandingcikiva ngeziphazamiso: Ndishiye ioven ivuliwe? Ingaba izitshixo zam zisemnyango wangaphambili? Kuya kufuneka ndiphakame ndiyojonga, akunjalo? Kwaye emva koko konke kwathuleka.

Utshintsho lwenzekile kwaye ingqondo yam yandinyanzela ukuba ndihlale ndigxile njengoko imibuzo enzima yaqala ukundiza ngomsindo-Wonwabile? Yintoni enokukwenza wonwabe? Ngaba unombulelo? Ngoba kutheni? Ngaba ukho apho ubumele ukuba ubekho? Ungafika njani apho? Ungayeka njani ukuba nexhala- yintoni le ikukhathaza kangaka? Khange ndibenandlela yimbi ngaphandle kokuthula ndibaphendule.

Ngaphambi kokuba ndiyazi, yayingathi yidama livuleke livuleke kwaye ndaqala ukukhala ngokungalawuleki. Ngaba le nto bekufanele ukuba yenzekile? Ndacinga ukuba ukucamngca kuthe cwaka kwaye noxolo- kodwa oku yayikukuqhuma, intaba-mlilo eyayiphazamisa yonke into. Kodwa ndagqiba ekubeni ndityhale ndiye kwelinye icala. Ukucamngca kwaphela kwaye ndothuka xa ndibona ukuba kudlule imizuzu engama-30. Bendiqinisekile ukuba zintlanu kuphela, mhlawumbi imizuzu eyi-10 iphelile. Kodwa ixesha libaleka xa ugqiba kwelokuba uzazi kwaye uzimamele ngokwakho.

Isiphumo

Ebudeni beeveki ezimbalwa ezalandelayo, ndaqalisa ukunqwenela elo xesha kum. Ukuthula kunye nokuchitha ixesha elisemgangathweni kunye ne-ego yam kunye neemvakalelo kundizisele uxolo olukhulu kunye nokuqonda. Kwaba lixesha lam lokucinga ukuba kutheni ndibambe umntwana wam omncinci-ngaba ngenene kuba ebengazukugqibezela isidlo sakhe sangokuhlwa, okanye kungenxa yokuba bendikhupha ixhala lam lokulahleka komhla obekiweyo wokusebenza kuye? Ngaba umyeni wam wayendicaphukisa ngokwenene okanye ndandicaphukiswa ndim ngenxa yokungasebenzi, ukungalali ngokwaneleyo, kwaye ndingenzi i-QT kuthi kuqala kule veki? Kwakumangalisa indlela endizinika ngayo umzuzwana wokubonakalisa, kunye nokubuza kwaye phendula imibuzo enzima, ndazolisa ingqondo yam kwaye ndathoba ixhala lam.

Ngoku, ndizama ukucamngca yonke imihla-kodwa indlela endenza ngayo ikhangeleka yahlukile. Ngamanye amaxesha kuba yimizuzu embalwa esofeni ngelixa intombi yam ibukele uNick Jr. Ngamanye amaxesha kuba yimizuzu embalwa emva kokuba ndivuke ndisebhedini. Kwezinye iintsuku kungaphandle kwidesika yam ye-20 eqinileyo, okanye yiyo nantoni na endinokuthi ndiyicinezele kwidesika yam ukuze ndifumane ijusi yam yokuyila.Okumangalisayo kukuba, okukhona uyizama kwaye uyenze ukuba ifaneleke ebomini bakho, kokukhona ivakala ngathi ngumsebenzi.

Oko kuthethiwe, andifezekanga. Ndisamane ndiqwela umyeni wam ndisongelwe bubuthongo ndizibuza ukuba ingaba intombi yam izoba nesilonda ubom bonke ngoba ndiyibeke exesheni. Ndisacinga okona kubi xa isabelo siwela ngaphandle okanye umhleli endiphathisa. Ndingumntu. Kodwa utshintsho olufihlakeleyo-inyani yokuba ingqondo yam ithe cwaka (uninzi) "kuthekani ukuba" kwaye "kutheni mna" incoko kwaye intliziyo yam ayiqalisi ukuphuma esifubeni sam xa izinto zingahambi kakuhle-yenze enkulu kakhulu. Umahluko kwindlela endiziphethe ngayo kunye nokukwazi ukukhwela amaza otshintsho, ukuphoxeka kwaye, kulungile, ubomi!

Uphengululo lwe