Ndayeka ukuncancisa ukuze ndibuyele kwiMed Health Mes

Umxholo

• Kwakungekho ukulungiswa kulula
• Kwakungaphezulu kokuncancisa

Abantwana bam bafanelwe ngumama obandakanyekileyo nomzimba ophilileyo nengqondo. Kwaye ndifanele ukushiya ngasemva iintloni endandiziva ngazo.

Unyana wam weza kweli hlabathi ekhala ngoFebruwari 15, 2019. Imiphunga yakhe yayinentliziyo, umzimba wakhe wawumncinci kwaye womelele, kwaye ngaphandle kweeveki ezi-2 kwangethuba wayenobungakanani "obunempilo" kunye nobunzima.

Sidibene ngokukhawuleza.

Uye wahlala ngaphandle komcimbi. Wayesesifubeni sam ngaphambi kokuba kuvalwe umthungo wam.

Ndacinga ukuba olu luphawu olulungileyo. Ndandisokola nentombi yam. Bendingazi ukuba ndimbeke phi okanye ndimbambe njani, kwaye ukungaqiniseki kundenze ndanexhala. Isikhalo sakhe sinqumle okweentshuntshu, kwaye ndaziva ngathi ndoyisakele- "mama ombi."

Kodwa iiyure endizichithe esibhedlele nonyana wam bezi (ndingatsho ukuba) bezimnandi. Ndaziva ndizolile kwaye ndizolile. Izinto zazingalunganga nje, zazintle.

Siza kulunga, Ndicinge. Ndiza kulunga.

Nangona kunjalo, njengoko iiveki zihamba-kwaye ukusilela kokulala kubekiwe-izinto zitshintshile. Umoya wam watshintsha. Ngaphambi kokuba ndazi, ndakhubazeka ngumsindo, lusizi, kunye noloyiko. Ndithetha nodokotela wam wengqondo malunga nokunyusa amayeza am.

Kwakungekho ukulungiswa kulula

Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba i-anti-depressant yam inokuhlengahlengiswa. Babonwa “behambelana” nokuncancisa. Nangona kunjalo, amayeza am oxinzelelo ayengahambi njengokuba imeko yam yayizinzisa imo yoxinzelelo, ethi-ugqirha wam walumkisa- inokuba yingxaki kuba ukuthatha uxinzelelo lodwa kunokubangela i-mania, psychosis, kunye nezinye iingxaki kubantu abane-bipolar disorder. Kodwa emva kokulinganisa izibonelelo kunye neengozi, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba amayeza angcono kunokuba ndingafumani nyango.

Izinto zazilungile okwethutyana. Isimo sam siphucukile, kwaye ngoncedo lukagqirha wam wezifo zengqondo, bendisenza isicwangciso esiqinileyo sokuzinakekela. Kwaye bendisancancisa, into endiyithathe njengeyona yonyani.

Kodwa ndaqala ukuphulukana nolawulo kungekudala emva kokuba unyana wam ethe wabetha iinyanga ezi-6. Ndandisela kakhulu kwaye ndilele kancinci. Iimbaleki zam zihambe ukusuka kwi-3 ukuya kwi-6 yeekhilomitha ubusuku bonke, ngaphandle kokuziqhelanisa, ukuzilungiselela, okanye uqeqesho.

Ndachitha ngokungxamisekileyo nangokungakhathali. Kwisithuba seeveki ezi-2, ndathenga izambatho ezininzi kunye nenqwelomoya yeebhokisi, iikhreyithi, kunye nezikhongozeli "zokuququzelela" indlu yam - ukuzama ukulawula indawo yam nobomi bam.

Ndithenge iwasha ne dryer. Sifake ii-shades ezintsha kunye neemfama. Ndifumene amatikiti amabini kumdlalo weBroadway. Ndibhukishe iholide yosapho olufutshane.

Bendiqala nokwenza umsebenzi ongaphaya kwamandla am. Ndingumbhali ozimeleyo, kwaye ndaye ndahamba ndagcwalisa amabali ama-4 okanye ama-5 ngeveki ukuya ngaphezulu kwe-10. Kodwa ngenxa yokuba iingcinga zam zazigijima kwaye zingahambelani, uninzi lwazo lwalufuna ukulungiswa.

Ndinezicwangciso kunye nemibono kodwa ndizabalaza ngokulandela.

Ndazi ukuba kufuneka ndibize ugqirha wam. Ndiyazi ukuba esi santya sibuhlungu asinakukwazi ukusigcina, kwaye ekugqibeleni ndiza kuphazamiseka. Amandla am anyukayo, ukuzithemba, kunye no charisma kuya kuginywa kukudakumba, ubumnyama, kunye nokuzisola emva kwe-hypomanic, kodwa bendisoyika kuba bendisazi ukuba le fowuni iza kuthetha ntoni: Kuya kufuneka ndiyeke ukuncancisa.

Kwakungaphezulu kokuncancisa

Unyana wam oneenyanga ezisixhenxe kuya kufuneka alunyulwe kwangoko, aphulukane nesondlo kunye nentuthuzelo ayifumene kum. Umama wakhe.

Kodwa inyani kukuba wayephulukana nam kwisifo sam sengqondo. Ingqondo yam yayiphazanyisiwe kwaye ifuduselwe kwindawo yokuba yena (kunye nentombi yam) babengafumani ngqalelo okanye umama olungileyo. Abazange bafumane umzali omfaneleyo.

Kwaye ndondliwa ngefomula. Umyeni wam, ubhuti kunye nomama batyiswa ubisi olungumgubo, kwaye sonke sahamba kakuhle. Ifomula ibonelela abantwana ngezondlo abazidingayo ukuze bakhule kwaye baphumelele.

Ngaba loo nto isenze lula isigqibo sam? Hayi.

Ndisaziva ndiziva ndinetyala kwaye ndineentloni kuba "ibele lilungile," akunjalo? Ndiyathetha, yilento bendiyixelelwe. Yiloo nto ndakhokelwa ukuba ndikholelwe. Kodwa izibonelelo zesondlo sobisi lwebele azikhathazi kangako ukuba umama akaphilanga. Ukuba andiphilanga.

Ugqirha wam uyaqhubeka endikhumbuza ukuba kufuneka ndibeke imaski yeoksijini kuqala. Kwaye lo mzekeliso ngulowo kufanelekileyo, kwaye abaphandi baqala ukuwuqonda.

Amagqabantshintshi akutshanje kwiphephancwadi i-Nursing yezeMpilo yabaseTyhini ikhuthaza uphando oluthe kratya malunga noxinzelelo koomama, olunxulumene nje nokuncancisa kodwa noxinzelelo olunzima olubekwa koomama ukuze bancancise iintsana zabo.

“Sifuna uphando oluthe kratya malunga nokuba kwenzeka ntoni kumntu ofuna ukuncancisa kwaye ongakwaziyo. Bavakalelwa njani? Ngaba le yinto ebangela umngcipheko woxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka? ” wabuza uAna Diez-Sampedro, umbhali wenqaku kunye noprofesa onxulumene neklinikhi kwiYunivesithi yaseFlorida yeYunivesithi yaseNicole Wertheim kwiKholeji yoNesi kunye nezeMpilo.

"Sicinga ukuba koomama, ukuncancisa lolona khetho lufanelekileyo," uqhubeke uDiez-Sampedro. "Kodwa akunjalo kwabanye oomama." Kwakungekho njalo kum.

Ke, ngenxa yam kunye nabantwana bam, ndilumle usana lwam. Ndithenga iibhotile, umgubo oxutywe ngaphambili, kunye neefomula zokulungiselela ukuselwa. Ndibuyela kwiindlela zam zengqondo ngenxa yokuba ndifanelekile ukuba ndikhuselekile, ndizinzile kwaye ndiphilile. Abantwana bam bafanelwe ngumama obandakanyekileyo nomzimba ophilileyo nengqondo, kwaye ukuze ndibengumntu, ndifuna uncedo.

Ndidinga amayeza am.

UKimberly Zapata ngumama, umbhali kunye nommeli wezempilo yengqondo. Umsebenzi wakhe uvele kwiindawo ezininzi, kubandakanya iWashington Post, iHuffPost, iOprah, iSekela, abazali, iMpilo, kunye noMama oMoyikisayo - ukubala abambalwa- kwaye xa impumlo yakhe ingangcwatywanga emsebenzini (okanye incwadi elungileyo), uKimberly uchitha ixesha lakhe lasimahla ebaleka Mkhulu Kunoko: UkugulaUmbutho ongenzi nzuzo ojolise ekuxhobiseni abantwana kunye nabantu abadala abancinci abajamelana neemeko zempilo yengqondo. Landela uKimberly Facebook okanye Twitter.