Ukuzithetha kwakho okungalunganga kunokuba yingozi kwimpilo yakho-nantsi indlela yokuyeka

Umxholo

• Lenza ntoni kanye kanye ilizwi lakho langaphakathi?
• Ke kwenzeka njani ukuba ibe lityala?
• Incoko iyonakalisa njani impilo yakho?
• Ungayithumela njani intetho engeyiyo kwaye uyenze ibe sempilweni kwaye ibe ntle?
• Uphengululo lwe

Ilizwi lakho elingaphakathi linamandla ngendlela emangalisayo, utsho uEthanUKross, Ph.D., ugqirha wezengqondo novavanyo lwe-neuroscientist, umseki we-Emotion & Self Control Lab kwiDyunivesithi yaseMichigan, kunye nombhali Incoko (Yithenge, $ 18, amazon.com). Inokukwenza wonwabe kwaye uphumelele ngakumbi-okanye inokulimaza impilo yakho kwaye ikwenze uguge ngokukhawuleza. Apha, ucacisa indlela yokuyekisa intetho yakho engathandekiyo kwaye uyijike ibe yinto entle ngakumbi.

Lenza ntoni kanye kanye ilizwi lakho langaphakathi?

"Kwelona nqanaba lisisiseko, silisebenzisa ukugcina ama-nuggets olwazi ezintloko zethu. Ukuba bendinokukucela ukuba unkqaye inombolo yefowuni, ubuya kusebenzisa ilizwi lakho langaphakathi ukwenza oko. Ikwasebenza njengesicelo sokukhumbuza: Ingcinga yomlomo iya kuthi gqi entlokweni yakho malunga nento ekufuneka uyenzile.

Kodwa ndihlala ndibhekisa kuyo njengesixhobo seSwitzerland Army ngengqondo kuba ukongeza kwimemori, siyisebenzisela izinto ezininzi, njengokuyila nokucwangcisa. Sinokuziqhelisela ngokuthe cwaka oko siza kukuthetha phambi kwentetho enkulu, umzekelo. Sisoloko sine-monologue yangaphakathi ebaleka entlokweni yethu ukuze sikwazi ukuqonda amava. Isinceda ukuba sifumane intsingiselo ngeendlela ezibumba ubuwena. Kwaye sisebenzisa ilizwi lethu elingaphakathi ukuziqeqesha kwaye sithi, Nantsi indlela oza kuhlangabezana ngayo nale meko. Ukuzinika intetho yepep-lilizwi lakho langaphakathi elo emsebenzini. "

Ke kwenzeka njani ukuba ibe lityala?

"Okumangalisayo kukuba, xa sizama ukusebenzisa ilizwi lethu langaphakathi ukuze sisebenze kwiingxaki okanye senze ingqiqo yemeko embi, idla ngokubuyisela umva. Kungenxa yokuba sityekele ekugxininiseni ngokucokisekileyo kwimeko esikuyo, njengokuthi 'kutheni loo mntu wandithuka?' Ingcinga enye embi ikhokelela kwenye, kwaye kungekudala siyangena ekukhanyeni, kwaye siyabambeka apho.

Omnye umzekelo kuxa siqala ukugxeka thina kwaye sifunxe kumngxunya wokucinga ukuba sisoyika kangakanani. Yile nto ndiyibiza ngokuba yingxoxo-icala elimnyama lelizwi lethu langaphakathi. Incoko yingxaki enkulu. Ijongela phantsi ukusebenza kwethu emsebenzini, kwaye yonakalisa ubudlelwane bethu bentlalo kunye nempilo yethu. Kwaye ngexesha lobhubhane, ukungaqiniseki kunye nelahleko yolawulo sonke besiziva ngathi kuye kwabangela incoko. "

Incoko iyonakalisa njani impilo yakho?

"Idlala indima ekwandiseni impendulo yethu yoxinzelelo, kwaye xa uxinzelelo luhlala luphakanyisiwe ngokungagungqiyo ekuhambeni kwexesha, lubangela ukuwohloka emzimbeni. Oko kunokubangela iimeko ezingalunganga njengeengxaki zokulala, isifo sentliziyo, kunye nomhlaza othile.

Eyona nto inomdla kakhulu yinzululwazi ebonisa indlela incoko, ngendlela yoxinzelelo olungapheliyo, inokuchaphazela ngayo iDNA yethu. Ubungqina obuvelayo bucebisa ukuba idlala indima ekuguqukeni kwimfuza ebandakanyekayo kukudumba nasekucimeni kwemfuza elwa neentsholongwane. Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela, kodwa uxinzelelo olungapheliyo lunokuchaphazela nendlela ezikhawuleza ngayo ii-telomeres, ii-caps ezikhuselayo ekupheleni kwee-chromosomes zethu, ziqala ukunciphisa, ezinxulunyaniswa nokwaluphala kwamaselula. Kude)

Ungayithumela njani intetho engeyiyo kwaye uyenze ibe sempilweni kwaye ibe ntle?

"Ngethamsanqa, kukho izixhobo ezahlukeneyo esinokuzisebenzisa. Xa ujongene nengxaki, thatha inyathelo umva kwaye uyiqambe ngendlela oyibona ngayo. Njengokuba kulula ukunika iingcebiso kwabanye abantu, ukuba singathetha sodwa umntu wesibini okanye wesithathu, uyasusa kude kuthi kwaye uvumele ukuba sibenenjongo. Ke entlokweni yakho, thetha ngokwakho usebenzisa igama lakho. James.Uphando lubonisa ukuba xa usebenzisa obu buchule,akunakwenzeka ukuba uncume kwaye kusenokwenzeka ukuba ucinge ngobulumko.Yi-psychology jujitsu.Itshintsha imbono yakho ukuze ukwazi ukunika iingcebiso ezingcono malunga nendlela yokujongana neengxaki.

Kwakhona, misela ucwangco kwindawo okuyo. Xa sifumana incoko, siziva ngathi asilawuleki. Phinda uyifumane ngokulungisa idesika yakho okanye ngokucoca itafile yakho yasekhitshini. Ukulungelelanisa indawo yakho yomzimba kukunika ingqiqo yomyalelo wengqondo.

Phuma phandle. Ukuchitha ixesha kwindalo kunceda ukuzalisa ingqondo yakho, nto leyo enokunceda ukunciphisa incoko. Thatha uhambo ngeendawo ezinamagqabi, okanye uhambe uhambo epakini. Ukuba awukwazi ukuphuma endlwini, jonga kwifoto yendalo-inzululwazi ifumanisa ukuba ineziphumo ezifanayo. Kwaye uthenge izityalo. Ukubandakanya uhlaza kwindawo yakho nako kunokunceda." (Eyeleleneyo: Uyisebenzisa njani iNdlela entle yokuZithetha ngoSuku lweMpilo yengqondo nangaphaya)

Shape Magazine, ngoJuni ka-2021

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