Ukugqibelela: yintoni kunye neempawu eziphambili

Umxholo

• Iimpawu eziphambili
• Iindidi zokugqibelela
• Kuqala nini ukufuna ukugqibelela?

Ukugqibelela luhlobo lokuziphatha olubonakaliswa ngumnqweno wokwenza yonke imisebenzi ngendlela egqibeleleyo, ngaphandle kokuvuma iimpazamo okanye iziphumo ezingonelisiyo kumgangatho wakho. Umntu ogqibeleleyo uqhele ukuba nentlawulo ephezulu kuye nakwabanye.

Ukugqibelela kunokuhlelwa:

• Eqhelekileyo, eguqukayo okanye esempilweni, xa umntu enesizathu kunye nokuzimisela ukwenza imisebenzi kakuhle;
• I-Neurotic, mal-adaptive okanye eyingozi, apho umntu enomgangatho ophezulu kakhulu wokugqibelela, kwaye kuhlala kufanelekile ukwenza umsebenzi ofanayo amatyeli aliqela kuba ucinga ukuba akafezekanga, nto leyo enokubangela ukudana.

Nangona umntu ogqibeleleyo engazamkeli iimpazamo kwaye, xa zisenzeka, baziva bedimazekile, bengakwazi, benxunguphele okanye bedandathekile, ukufuna ukugqibelela akuyonto imbi. Kuba uhlala efuna ukwenza imisebenzi yakhe ngokugqibeleleyo, umntu ogqibeleleyo uqhele ukugxila kakhulu, uqeqeshwe kwaye uzimisele, ezizimpawu ezibalulekileyo kubomi bakhe bobuqu kunye nobungcali.

Iimpawu eziphambili

Abantu abagqibeleleyo bahlala bethathela ingqalelo iinkcukacha, bezilungelelanise kakhulu kwaye begxile, befuna ukwenza imisebenzi benesiphene esincinci. Ezi mpawu zithathwa njengesiqhelo kwaye zisempilweni kubo bonke abantu, kuba ngokuqinisekileyo ziphazamisa ubomi bobuqu nobungcali. Nangona kunjalo, xa ezi mpawu zikhatshwa yimigangatho ephezulu yemfuno kunye nokunyusa ukuzigxeka, kunokubangela iimvakalelo zokudakumba noxinzelelo.

Ezinye iimpawu zomntu ofezekileyo yile:

• Uxanduva oluninzi kunye nokuzimisela;
• Inqanaba eliphezulu leemfuno kunye nawe kunye nabanye;
• Abazivumi iimpazamo kunye nokusilela, banobunzima bokwamkela ukuba benze iimpazamo kwaye bafunda kuyo, ukongeza ekuziva benetyala kunye neentloni;
• Bakufumanisa kunzima ukusebenza kwiqela, njengoko bengenakukholelwa kwisakhono sabanye;
• Bahlala becinga ukuba kukho into elahlekileyo, bengoneliseki ziziphumo abazifumeneyo;
• Akakwamkeli kakuhle ukugxekwa, kodwa uhlala egxeka abanye ukubonisa ukuba ungcono.

Abantu abafuna ukugqibelela boyika ukusilela, ke bahlala bexhalabele izinto kwaye babeka umgangatho ophezulu kakhulu wokutshaja, ke xa kukho nakuphi na ukusilela okanye impazamo, nokuba incinci kangakanani, baphela bekhathazekile kwaye benemvakalelo yokungabi namandla.

Iindidi zokugqibelela

Ukongeza ekwahluleni njengezempilo okanye eziyingozi, ukugqibelela kunokuhlelwa ngokwemiba echaphazele ukukhula kwayo:

1. Ukugqibelela komntu, apho umntu azityhola khona kakhulu, ebonisa isimilo sokukhathazeka ngokweqile ukuze yonke into igqibelele. Olu hlobo lokugqibelela luchaphazela indlela umntu azibona ngayo, luyakhula ugxeka;
2. Ukugqibelela kwezentlalol, ebangelwa kukoyika ukuba izakutolikwa njani kwaye iqondwe ngabantu kunye noloyiko lokungaphumeleli kunye nokwaliwa, kwaye olu hlobo lokugqibelela luhlala lubangelwa kubantwana abafunwa kakhulu, banconywa okanye balahlwa, ngale ndlela umzekelo, umntwana amkelwe ngabazali. Ukongeza, ekugqibeleleni kwezentlalo, umntu unengxaki yokuthetha okanye yokunxibelelana nabanye malunga noloyiko lwabo okanye ukungazithembi ngokuchanekileyo ngenxa yokoyika isigwebo.
3. Ukugqibelela okujoliswe kuko, apho umntu enolindelo olukhulu kungekuphela ngaye, kodwa nangabanye, nto leyo eyenza ukuba ukusebenzisana kube nzima kunye nokuziqhelanisa nezinye iimeko, umzekelo.

Ukugqibelela kunokuba sisiphumo sokuphazamiseka kwengqondo, ezinje ngoxinzelelo kunye nokuphazamiseka okungafunekiyo okunyanzelekileyo (OCD), umzekelo.

Kuqala nini ukufuna ukugqibelela?

Ukugqibelela kunokuba yingxaki xa usenza nawuphi na umsebenzi uyadinisa kwaye uxinzelelo ngenxa yomgangatho ophezulu wokuqokelela, inkxalabo egqithileyo ngeenkcukacha kunye noloyiko lokusilela. Ukongeza, inyani yokungaze waneliswe ziziphumo ezifunyenweyo inokubangela uxinzelelo, uxinzelelo, uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo, olunokuthi ngamanye amaxesha lubangele iingcinga zokuzibulala.

Abantu abagqibeleleyo bathanda ukugxeka kakhulu ngoku, okunokuba yingozi kakhulu, kuba bayasilela ukuvavanya izinto ezintle, kuphela ezimbi, ezikhokelela kukuphazamiseka kwemood. Oku akubonakali kuphela ekusebenzeni kwemisebenzi yemihla ngemihla, kodwa nakwimiba ebonakalayo, enokubangela ukuphazamiseka kukutya, umzekelo, kuba umntu ucinga ukuba kuhlala kukho into yokuphucula emzimbeni okanye kwinkangeleko, ngaphandle kokuthathela ingqalelo ingxelo ngezinto ezintle.