Kutheni le nto kufuneka sithethe ngoxinzelelo ngexesha lokukhulelwa

Umxholo

• Xa uSepideh Saremi, 32, eqala ukukhala rhoqo kwaye eziva edimazekile kwaye ediniwe kwithuba lesithathu lesibini lokukhulelwa, uvele wayikhuphela kwihomoni eziguqukayo.
• Ukudakumba ngexesha lokukhulelwa ayisiyonto onokuthi 'ushukumise'
• Iintloni bezindithintela ekufumaneni uncedo
• “Kwakungathi kucinyiwe isibane kwingqondo yam”
• Kwakulixesha lokufumana uncedo
• Okukwintsusa

Xa uSepideh Saremi, 32, eqala ukukhala rhoqo kwaye eziva edimazekile kwaye ediniwe kwithuba lesithathu lesibini lokukhulelwa, uvele wayikhuphela kwihomoni eziguqukayo.

Kwaye, njengomama wokuqala, ukungazi kakuhle kwakhe ngokukhulelwa. Kodwa njengoko iiveki ziqhubeka, uSaremi, ugqirha wezengqondo eLos Angeles, uqaphele ispike kuxinzelelo, imo yokudodobala, kunye nemvakalelo ngokubanzi yokuba akukho nto ibalulekileyo. Okwangoku, ngaphandle koqeqesho lweklinikhi, wayisusa njengengcinezelo yemihla ngemihla kunye nenxalenye yokukhulelwa.

Ngekota yesithathu yesithathu, uSaremi waba novakalelo kuyo yonke into emngqongileyo kwaye wayengasenakuzibetha ngoyaba iiflegi ezibomvu. Ukuba ugqirha wakhe ubuze imibuzo yesiqhelo, waziva ngathi uyamkhetha. Waqala ukujijisana nakho konke ukunxibelelana kwezentlalo okungahambelani nomsebenzi. Wayekhala ngalo lonke ixesha- "kwaye hayi ngaloo ndlela incinci, indlela ekhulelwe inenekazi," utshilo uSaremi.

Ukudakumba ngexesha lokukhulelwa ayisiyonto onokuthi 'ushukumise'

Ngokwe-American College of Obstetricians kunye ne-Gynecologists (ACOG) kunye ne-American Psychiatric Association (APA), phakathi kwe-14 ne-23 pesenti yabasetyhini baya kuba neempawu zoxinzelelo ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Kodwa iingcamango eziphosakeleyo malunga nokudakumba okwenzeka ngexesha laphambi kokubeleka-uxinzelelo ngexesha lokukhulelwa nasemva kokubeleka-kunokwenza ukuba kube nzima kubafazi ukufumana iimpendulo abazifunayo, utshilo uGqirha Gabby Farkas, ingcali yezonyango eseNew York egxile kwimicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.

"Izigulana zisixelela ngalo lonke ixesha ukuba amalungu osapho athi" mabazishukume "kwaye bazihlanganise, utshilo uFarkas. “Umbutho ngokubanzi ucinga ukuba ukukhulelwa nokuba nomntwana lelona xesha livuyisayo ebomini bomfazi kwaye kuphela kwendlela yokufumana oku. Xa, enyanisweni, abasetyhini bafumana iimvakalelo ezininzi ngeli xesha. ”

Iintloni bezindithintela ekufumaneni uncedo

KuSaremi, indlela yokufumana inkathalo efanelekileyo yayinde. Ngethuba lokundwendwela kwakhe ikota yesithathu, uthi waxoxa ngeemvakalelo zakhe kunye ne-OB-GYN kwaye waxelelwa ukuba wayenelinye lawona manqaku mabi kwi-Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS) awakhe wayibona.

Kodwa phaya ngu Uncedo loxinzelelo ngexesha lokukhulelwa, utsho uCatherine Monk, PhD kunye nonjingalwazi onxulumene noNyango lwezoNyango (Psychiatry and Obstetrics and Gynecology) kwiYunivesithi yaseColumbia. Ukongeza kunyango, utshilo, kukhuselekile ukuthatha ii-anti-depressant, ezinje nge-serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) ekhethiweyo.

USaremi uthi uye waxoxa ngeziphumo zovavanyo nonyango lwakhe, awayekhe wambona ngaphambi kokuba akhulelwe. Kodwa, uyongeza, oogqirha bakhe bobabini bayibhala phantsi.

“Ndenze ingqiqo yokuba uninzi lwabantu lulele kwabo bahlola, ngoko ke inqaku lam beliphezulu kakhulu kuba ibindim kuphela umntu onyanisekileyo - nto leyo ehlekisayo xa ndicinga ngayo ngoku. Kwaye wayecinga ukuba andibonakali ngathi ndidandathekile [kuba] andikhange ndibonakale ngaphandle. "

“Kwakungathi kucinyiwe isibane kwingqondo yam”

Akunakwenzeka ukuba umfazi oye wafumana uxinzelelo ngexesha lokukhulelwa kwakhe uya kuziva ngokwahlukileyo xa sele ezelwe umntwana wakhe. Ngapha koko, iimvakalelo zinokuqhubeka nokudibanisa. Ukuzalwa konyana wakhe, uSaremi uthi kuye kwacaca ngokukhawuleza ukuba wayekwimeko engazinzanga xa kufikwa kwimpilo yakhe yengqondo.

“Ngokukhawuleza emva kokuzalwa kwakhe - ngexa ndandisegumbini lokuhambisa - kwakungathi zonke izibane zicinyiwe kwingqondo yam. Ndaziva ngathi ndigutyungelwe lilifu elimnyama ngokupheleleyo kwaye ndiyabona ngaphandle kwayo, kodwa akukho nto ndiyibonileyo isengqiqweni. Andiziva ndinxibelelene nam, kungasathethwa ke ngosana lwam. "

USaremi kwafuneka ayirhoxise imifanekiso esandula ukuzalwa kuba esithi wayengayeki ukulila, kwaye xa efika ekhaya, woyiswa "ziingcinga ezoyikisayo."

Esoyika ukuba yedwa nonyana wakhe okanye ashiye indlu kunye naye yedwa, uSaremi uyavuma ukuba waziva ephelelwe lithemba kwaye ephelelwe lithemba. Ngokuka-Farkas, ezi mvakalelo ziqhelekile phakathi kwabasetyhini abanesifo sokudakumba kwangoko kwaye kubalulekile ukuba bakuqhelanise ngokukhuthaza abasetyhini ukuba bafune uncedo. UFarkas uthi: "Uninzi lwazo luziva lunetyala ngokungonwabi ngeepesenti ezili-100 ngeli xesha."

“Abaninzi bayasokola notshintsho olukhulu lokuba nomntwana kuthetha (umz. Ubomi bam abukho ngam) noxanduva lokuba kuthetha ukuthini ukukhathalela omnye umntu oxhomekeke kubo ngokupheleleyo, ”uyongeza.

Kwakulixesha lokufumana uncedo

Ngexesha uSaremi abetha inyanga enye emva kokubeleka, wayediniwe kwaye ediniwe kangangokuba uthi, "Bendingafuni kuphila."

Waye waqala ukuphanda ngeendlela zokuphelisa ubomi bakhe. Iingcinga zokuzibulala zaziphakathi kwaye zingahlali ixesha elide. Kodwa nasemva kokuba bedlulile, uxinzelelo lwahlala. Malunga neenyanga ezintlanu emva kokubeleka, uSaremi wahlaselwa kukothuka okokuqala ngexesha lokuya kuthenga eCostco nosana lwakhe. "Ndithathe isigqibo sokuba ndikulungele ukufumana uncedo," utshilo.

USaremi wathetha nogqirha wakhe ophambili malunga nokudakumba kwakhe, kwaye wayevuya ukufumanisa ukuba wayenobungcali kwaye akagwebi. Wamthumela kugqirha kwaye wacebisa amayeza ka-anti-depressant. Ukhethe ukuzama unyango kuqala kwaye usahamba kube kanye ngeveki.

Okukwintsusa

Namhlanje, uSaremi uthi uziva engcono kakhulu. Ukongeza ekutyelelweni yingcali yakhe, uqinisekile ngokulala ngokwaneleyo, ukutya kakuhle, kunye nokwenza ixesha lokuzilolonga nokubona izihlobo zakhe.

Uye waqalisa i-Run Walk Talk esekwe eCarlifonia, isenzo esidibanisa unyango lwempilo yengqondo nokusebenza kwengqondo, ukuhamba, kunye nokuthetha unyango. Kwaye kwabanye oomama abakhulelweyo, uyongeza:

Ngaba ucinga ukuba unokuba ujongene nokudakumba okungapheliyo? Funda indlela yokuchonga iimpawu kwaye ufumane uncedo olufunayo.

Ukubhalwa kukaCaroline Shannon-Karasik kubonisiwe kupapasho oluninzi, kubandakanya: Ukugcina izindlu kakuhle, iRedbook, uThintelo, iVegNews, kunye neemagazini zeKiwi, kunye neSheKnows.com kunye neEatClean.com. Ngoku ubhala ingqokelela yezincoko. Okungakumbi kunokufumaneka imisayoline.com. Ungamthumela umyalezo ngetwitter @CSKarasik kwaye umlandele kwi-Instagram @CarolineShannonKarasik.