Ukucwangcisela ikamva lakho, ukufumanisa isifo somhlaza webele

Umxholo

• Ukuba ngumzali emva kokuchongwa
• Umhlaza kunye nomsebenzi wakho
• Ukulungelelanisa ubomi bakho
• Ukuthatha

Ukuva amagama athi "unomdlavuza" ayisiyonto imnandi. Nokuba la mazwi athethwa kuwe okanye kumntu omthandayo, ayisiyonto onokuyilungiselela.

Ukucinga kwam kwangoko emva kokuba ndifumene isifo, “Ndizokuya njani kwi _____?” Ndiza kuba njani ngumzali odingwa ngunyana wam? Ndiza kuqhubeka njani ukusebenza? Ndiza kubugcina njani ubomi bam?

Ndandinqabile ngexesha ndizama ukuguqula loo mibuzo kunye namathandabuzo ukuba ndenze, ndingavumeli nexesha lokuba ndenze into eyenzekileyo. Kodwa ngokuzama kunye neempazamo, inkxaso evela kwabanye, kunye nokuzimisela ngamandla, ndiyijikile loo mibuzo yasebenza.

Nazi iingcinga zam, iingcebiso, kunye namazwi enkuthazo kuwe ukuba wenze okufanayo.

Ukuba ngumzali emva kokuchongwa

Into yokuqala ephuma emlonyeni wam xa ugqirha wam we-radiologist wandixelela ukuba ndinomdlavuza webele, "Kodwa ndinomntwana oneminyaka eli-1 ubudala!"

Ngelishwa, umhlaza awucaluli, kwaye awukhathali nokuba unomntwana. Ndiyazi ukuba kunzima ukuva, kodwa yinyani. Kodwa ukufumanisa ukuba unomdlavuza ngelixa ungumzali kukunika ithuba elikhethekileyo lokubonisa abantwana bakho ukuba boyise njani imiqobo.

Nanga amanye amagama enkuthazo avela kwabanye abasindileyo abamangalisayo abandincedayo yakuba nzima kwaye isenzima:

• “Mama, unayo le! Sebenzisa umntwana wakho ukuze umkhuthaze ukuba ulwe! ”
• "Kulungile ukuba sesichengeni phambi komntwana wakho."
• “Ewe, ungacela uncedo kodwa ube ungoyena mama womeleleyo emhlabeni!”
• “Kulungile ukuhlala kwigumbi lokuhlambela ulile. Ukuba ngumzali kunzima, kodwa ukuba ngumzali onomhlaza ngokuqinisekileyo kukwinqanaba elilandelayo! ”
• “Buza umntu wakho (nabani na osondeleyo kuye) ukuba akunike usuku olunye kuwe veki nganye ukuba enze nantoni na ofuna ukuyenza. Akukho nto ingako ukubuza! "
• “Musa ukuzikhathaza ngobumdaka. Uya kuba neminyaka emininzi ngakumbi uyicoca! ”
• "Amandla akho ayakuba lukhuthazo lomntwana wakho."

Umhlaza kunye nomsebenzi wakho

Ukuqhubeka nokusebenza ngokuxilongwa komhlaza lukhetho lomntu. Kuxhomekeka kwisifo sakho kunye nomsebenzi, awungekhe uqhubeke nokusebenza. Mna, ndiyintsikelelo ngokusebenzela inkampani emangalisayo kunye nabasebenzi endisebenza nabo kunye nabaphathi. Ukuya emsebenzini, ngelixa ngamanye amaxesha kunzima, kukubaleka kwam. Inika isiqhelo, abantu ekumele bathethe nabo, kunye nento yokugcina ingqondo nomzimba wam uxakekile.

Apha ngezantsi kukho iingcebiso zam zobuqu zokwenza umsebenzi wakho usebenze. Kuya kufuneka uthethe nemithombo yabasebenzi malunga namalungelo akho abasebenzi xa kuziwa kwizigulo zobuqu ezinjengomhlaza, kwaye ukusuka apho.

• Nyaniseka kumphathi wakho malunga nendlela oziva ngayo ngokwasemoyeni nangokomzimba. Abaphathi ngababantu kuphela, kwaye abanakufunda ingqondo yakho. Ukuba awuthembekanga, abanakukuxhasa.
• Yiba selubala kunye nabantu osebenza nabo, ngakumbi abo usebenza ngqo nabo. Ukuqonda kuyinyani, ke qiniseka ukuba bayayazi eyona nto uyiyo.
• Misela imida kwinto ofuna ukuba abanye bayazi kwinkampani yakho malunga nemeko yakho yobuqu, ukuze uzive ukhululekile eofisini.
• Zibekele iinjongo ezizizo, yabelana nomphathi wakho, kwaye uzenze zibonakale kuwe ukuze uhlale usemgceni. Iinjongo azibhalwanga ngommakishi osisigxina, ke qhubeka ujonge kwaye uzilungelelanise njengoko usiya (qiniseka nje ukuba unxibelelana nalo naluphi na utshintsho kumphathi wakho).
• Yenza ikhalenda enokubonwa ngabantu osebenza nabo, ukuze bazi ukuba bangakulindela nini eofisini. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ube neenkcukacha ezithile, kodwa ube selubala ukuze abantu bangazibuzi ukuba uphi.
• Yiba nobubele kuwe. Inombolo yakho ephambili iya kuhlala iyimpilo yakho!

Ukulungelelanisa ubomi bakho

Phakathi kokuqeshwa ngugqirha, unyango, umsebenzi, usapho kunye notyando, kusenokwenzeka ukuba uziva ngathi uza kuphulukana nengqondo. (Kuba ubomi babungekaphili ngokwaneleyo, akunjalo?)

Ngexesha elinye emva kokuba ndifumene isifo kwaye ngaphambi kokuba unyango luqale, ndikhumbula ndisithi kugqirha wam oncologist, "Uyaqonda ukuba ndinobomi, akunjalo? Njengaye, ngekhe kubekho mntu undibizileyo ngaphambi kokucwangcisa i-PET scan kanye kwintlanganiso yomsebenzi endinayo kwiveki ezayo? " Ewe, ndiyithethile le nto kugqirha wam.

Ngelishwa, utshintsho alunakwenziwa, ndaye ndagqibela ngokuziqhelanisa. Oku kwenzeke amatyeli amabini ezigidi kule minyaka mibini idlulileyo. Iingcebiso zam zezi zilandelayo:

• Fumana ikhalenda oza kuyisebenzisa, kuba uya kuyidinga. Beka yonke into kuyo kwaye uhambe nayo naphi na!
• Yiba nobhetyebhetye ubuncinci, kodwa ungabi bhetyebhetye kangangokuba usongele nje kwaye unikezele ngamalungelo akho. Usenako ukuba nobomi!

Iya kuba yinto ephazamisayo, edimazayo, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha, uya kufuna ukukhwaza phezulu kwimiphunga yakho, kodwa ekugqibeleni uya kuba nakho ukuphinda ukwazi ukulawula ubomi bakho. Ukuqeshwa kukagqirha kuya kuyeka ukwenzeka mihla le, ngeveki, okanye ngenyanga, kwaye kujike kubeyiminyaka yonyaka. Ekugqibeleni unolawulo.

Ngelixa ungasoloko ubuzwa ekuqaleni, oogqirha bakho baya kuthi ekugqibeleni baqale ukubuza kwaye bakunike ulawulo ngakumbi xa ixesha lokuqeshwa kwakho kunye nophando zicwangcisiwe.

Ukuthatha

Umhlaza uya kuhlala uzama ukuphazamisa ubomi bakho. Iya kukwenza ubuze rhoqo ukuba uza kubuphila njani ubomi bakho.Kodwa apho kukho umyolelo, kukho indlela. Vumela ukuba itshone, wenze isicwangciso, unxibelelane nesicwangciso ngokwakho kunye nabantu ebomini bakho, emva koko ulungelelanise njengoko uqhubeka.

Njengeenjongo, izicwangciso azibhalwanga ngommakishi osisigxina, ke zitshintshe njengoko kufuneka, emva koko uzinxibelelanise. Owu, uzibeke kwikhalenda yakho.

Unokwenza oku.

UDanielle Cooper wafunyaniswa enesifo somhlaza webele we-3A kathathu ngoMeyi ka-2016 eneminyaka engama-27 ubudala. Ngoku uneminyaka engama-31 kunye neminyaka emibini ngaphandle kokuxilongwa emva kokuhlinzwa kunye nokwakhiwa ngokutsha, imijikelo esibhozo yekhemotherapy, unyaka omnye we-infusions, nangaphezulu inyanga yemitha. UDanielle uqhubeke esebenza ngokusisigxina njengomphathi weprojekthi kulo lonke unyango, kodwa eyona nto ayithandayo kukunceda abanye. Uya kuqala i-podcast kungekudala ukuze aphile ngokuthanda kwakhe yonke imihla. Unokumlandela emva komhlaza wobomi kwi-Instagram.