Kutheni le nto kubaluleke kangaka ukuqonda usizi ngexesha le-coronavirus

Umxholo

• Yazi Ukuba Intlungu Yakho Iyinyani kwaye Isemthethweni
• Chitha ixesha olifunayo kwiNkqubo yeemvakalelo Ilahleko yakho
• Funa Inkxaso—Ngokoqobo Okanye Ngobuqu—Yokuthetha Ngentlungu Yakho
• Khumbula ukuba Intlungu ayihambelani
• Yenza amasiko obuqu ukuze ukhumbule ilahleko yakho
• Uphengululo lwe

Ubhubhane we-coronavirus unathi sonke ukuba sifunde ukujongana nelahleko engazange ibonwe ngaphambili kwaye ingenakulinganiswa. Ukuba ibambekile-ukuphulukana nomsebenzi, ikhaya, umthambo, ukuthweswa izidanga okanye umsitho womtshato-uhlala ukhatshwa luhlazo nokudideka. Kulula ukucinga: "xa ngaphezulu kwesiqingatha sesigidi sabantu siphulukene nobomi babo, ingaba ibalulekile na into yokuba kufuneka ndiphoswe liqela lam le-bachelorette?"

Ngokwenyani, kufanelekile ukulila ngenxa yelahleko, ngokutsho kwengcali yosizi kunye nengcali yezonyango uClaire Bidwell Smith. Ngethamsanqa, zikhona ezinye iindlela ezinokunceda ukunciphisa iintlungu.

Umbono wethu wentlungu uhlala uyinto yokuba kufuneka ibe yeyomntu esiphulukene nawo-kodwa ngoku, ngexesha lobhubhani, sisentlungwini kumanqanaba amaninzi awahlukeneyo. Sibuhlungu indlela yokuphila, sibuhlungu abantwana bethu besekhaya besuka esikolweni, sibuhlungu uqoqosho lwethu, utshintsho kwezopolitiko. Ndicinga ukuba abaninzi bethu kuye kwafuneka bavalelise kwizinto ezininzi ngokungenakulinganiswa, kwaye asicingi ngezi zinto njengezifanele usizi, kodwa zinjalo.

UClaire Bidwell Smith, ingcali yezonyango kunye nosizi

Njengoluntu lwehlabathi, siphila kwimeko engafaniyo nantoni na esakha sayibona, kwaye ngaphandle kwesiphelo, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba ube uziva noloyiko kunye nelahleko.

"Ndiqaphele ngeli xesha, ukuba abantu abaninzi bayaqhubeka nokubaleka ngenxa yosizi lwabo ngenxa yokuba zininzi iindlela zokuphazamiseka," utshilo u-Erin Wiley, MA, LPCC, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nomphathi olawulayo weZiko laseWillow, iingcebiso Ziqhelise eToledo, eOhio. "Kodwa ngaxa lithile, usizi luye lunkqonkqoze, kwaye lusoloko lufuna intlawulo."

Ukunyuka kwamva nje kwentsholongwane kubeka inani losulelo ngaphezu kwe-3.4 yezigidi zeemeko eziqinisekisiweyo ngexesha lokupapashwa (kunye nokubala) e-US, ngokutsho kwamaZiko oLawulo lweSifo kunye noThintelo (CDC). Uninzi luya kufuneka lunyamezele la mava-kwaye lunyamezele usizi-ngokwasemzimbeni kuba kude nabantu abaya kuthi, phantsi kweemeko eziqhelekileyo, babekho. Ngoko ke kufuneka senze ntoni?

Apha, ingcali yentlungu kunye nabanyangi banikezela ingqiqo ekuqondeni intlungu yakho, indlela yokumelana nayo, kwaye kutheni ukuhlala unethemba sisitshixo sokufikelela kuyo yonke into.

Yazi Ukuba Intlungu Yakho Iyinyani kwaye Isemthethweni

"Ngokubanzi, abantu banexesha elinzima lokuzinika imvume yokuba lusizi," utshilo uSmith. "Ke xa ijongeka yahlukile kancinci kunokuba sicinga ukuba kufanelekile, kunzima nangakumbi ukuzinika loo mvume."

Kwaye ngelixesha lonke ilizwe lisentlungwini ngoku, abantu kusenokwenzeka ukuba baziphungule ezabo ilahleko-bethetha izinto ezinje "kakuhle, ibingumtshato kuphela, kwaye sonke siza kuphila nangona besingazange sibe nawo "okanye" umyeni wam uphulukene nomsebenzi, kodwa ndinowam, ke kuninzi esinokubulela ngako. "

U-Wiley uthi: "Amaxesha amaninzi, siyayithoba intlungu yethu, kuba zininzi iimeko ezibi kakhulu-ngakumbi ukuba awulahlekelwanga mntu sisifo," utshilo uWiley.

Kuyacaca ukuba ukuphulukana nomntu omthandayo luhlobo lwelahleko olungenakuphinda lubuyiselwe. Xa urhoxisa umcimbi okanye uphulukene nomsebenzi, usenalo ithemba lokuba ungaphinda ube naloo nto, kanti xa uphulukene nomntu, awubi nathemba lokuba uya kuphinda abuye. "Sinoluvo lokuba, endaweni ethile ezantsi kwendlela, ngethemba ubomi buya kubuyela esiqhelweni kwaye sizokwazi ukuba nazo zonke ezi zinto siziphosileyo, kodwa ke asinako ukubuyisela isidanga ebekufanele ukuba siyenzile. yenzeka xa kuphela unyaka wesikolo. Kwiminyaka emibini, ayizukufana, utshilo uWiley.

Intlungu ithatha iindlela ezininzi kwaye inokubonakalisa njengeempawu zomzimba nezengqondo, kubandakanya (kodwa kungaphelelanga apho) umsindo, ixhala, ukukhala, ukudakumba, ukudinwa okanye ukungabikho kwamandla, ityala, isizungu, iintlungu, usizi, kunye nengxaki yokulala, ngokuka kwikliniki yaseMayo. Kwabo balilela ilahleko entsonkothileyo (efana naleyo yesiganeko esibalulekileyo okanye umbhiyozo), intlungu inokudlala ngendlela efanayo nelahleko yekhonkrithi (efana nokufa)—okanye kwindlela yokuziphatha egxile ekuphazamiseni njengokutya, ukusela, ukuzivocavoca, okanye ukubukela iNetflix ukuze uphephe iimvakalelo eziphantsi komhlaba, utshilo uWiley. Oko kusizisa ...

Chitha ixesha olifunayo kwiNkqubo yeemvakalelo Ilahleko yakho

Bobabini uWiley noSmith bathi kubalulekile ukuba buhlungu ngokwenyani indawo nganye engasekhoyo ngoku. Ukuzibandakanya kwimisebenzi yokujonga okunje ngokushicilela kunye nokucamngca kunokukunceda kakhulu ekukuvumeleni nasekuqhubeni iimvakalelo zakho, kunye nokufumana isisombululo kwinkqubo yakho.

"Iziphumo ezibangelwa kukususa usizi kukuxhalaba, ukudakumba, umsindo, kanti ukuba ungahamba ngazo kwaye uzivumele uzive yonke into, kuhlala kukho izinto ezintle ezinokuthi zenzeke. Inokuziva yoyikeka ukungena kuloo ndawo; ngamanye amaxesha Abantu baziva ngathi baya kuqala ukukhala kwaye bangaze bayeke, okanye baya kuhlukana, kodwa ngokwenene into echaseneyo yinyani.Uya kuba ngomzuzu, uya kuba nesikhalo sakho esikhulu, kwaye emva koko, uya kuziva ukhululekile. kunye nokukhululwa,” utshilo uSmith.

Impilo yengqondo engenzi nzuzo kwiMental Health America icebisa inkqubo ye-PATH yokulungisa iimvakalelo ezingalunganga. Xa uziva ukwixesha elibuhlungu okanye lomsindo, zama ukulandela la manyathelo:

• Nqumama: Kunokuba wenze ngokweemvakalelo zakho ngoko nangoko, yima uze ucinge kakuhle.
• Yamkele into oyivayo: Zama ukuchaza into oziva ngayo kwaye kutheni—ngaba ngokwenene unomsindo ngenxa yokuba kwenzeke into ethile, okanye ulusizi? Nokuba yintoni, kulungile ukuba uzive ngaloo ndlela.
• Cinga: Nje ukuba uqikelele ukuba uziva njani kanye kanye, cinga ngendlela onokwenza ngayo ukuba uzive ungcono.
• Nceda: Thatha inyathelo kuyo nayiphi na into ogqibe kuyo inokukwenza uzive ungcono. Oku kunokuba yiyo nantoni na ekubizeni umhlobo omthembileyo okanye uzivumele ukhale ngokubhala iimvakalelo zakho okanye ukuziqhelanisa nokuphefumla kwesisu.

Ukulungisa iimvakalelo zakho akuyonto ilula ukuyenza-ifuna ukukhula kunye nokuziphatha okuninzi, kwaye amaxesha amaninzi ukuphazamiseka kwethu kwintlungu kunokudlala ngeendlela ezinobungozi (ezifana nokusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi okanye ukurhoxa kwinkqubo yethu yenkxaso). Kwaye ngelixa, njengendidi, abantu benzelwe ukujongana nolu hlobo lwentlungu, siyakwazi ukuyiphepha, ngakumbi xa yonke indawo yethu isixelela ukuba sibaleke, utshilo uWiley.

Ukuthintela kubonakala ngeendlela ezininzi. “Abantu baseMelika, abantu ngokubanzi, balungile ngokuhlala bebaleka kwindlela abaziva ngayo,” utshilo. "Sibukele iNetflix, sisela iwayini, sibaleka, kwaye sinamaqela nabahlobo, siyatya kakhulu, konke ukugcwalisa loo nto, kodwa kufuneka sivumele iimvakalelo zingene." Unokucinga ukuba uhlangabezana nemeko ngendlela enempilo, kodwa kukho umgca ocacileyo apho into inokuba yinto engafanelekanga yokuhlangabezana nale meko: “Sonke sinotyekelo lokufudukela kwisakhono sokumelana nokubusebenzisa kangangokuba kubangele iingxaki kubomi bethu. uyaphila, utshilo. Umzekelo, ubuchule bokukopisha okungalunganga bunokusebenza-ayisiyonto imbi kuyo, kodwa ukuba iyanyanzeleka okanye awungekhe uyeke ukuyenza, ewe, nantoni na egqithisileyo inokuba yingozi, uyongeza.

"Kuthatha imeko yengqondo eguqukileyo ngenene ukuhamba usizi kwaye uthi," Ndizakuhlala nale nto, "endaweni yokuyiphepha, utshilo uWiley. "Endaweni yokuhlala esofeni yakho utye i-ayisi khrim ubukele iNetflix, oko kunokubonakala ngathi uhleli esofeni yakho ungenakutya kwaye ubhale kwijenali, uthetha nonyango, okanye uhambe okanye uhleli ngasemva kwendlu ndicinga nje, utshilo.

UWiley ukhuthaza nezigulana zakhe ukuba ziqwalasele indlela izinto ezithile ezibenza bazive ngayo. "Ndingacela umngeni kubo bonke abathengi bam ukuba, ngaphambi kokuqala ukuphazamiseka, uzibuze, kwisikali se-1-10, uziva njani? umsebenzi ulungile kuwe. [Kubalulekile ukuba] ube nolwazi ngawe malunga nokuba indlela yokuziphatha iluncedo okanye ibuhlungu kwaye wenze isigqibo sokuba lingakanani ixesha ofuna ukulichitha kuyo,” utshilo.

Xa uhleli nezo mvakalelo, nokuba kukwiyoga, kukucamngca, ukuzilolonga kwijenali, okanye unyango, uWiley ukhuthaza abathengi bakhe ukuba bagxile ekuphefumleni kwabo kwaye bagxile ekuthatheni ingqalelo iingcinga neemvakalelo zakho zangoku. Thatha ithuba lolunye lweenkqubo ezininzi zokucamngca, iikhosi ezikwi-Intanethi, okanye iiklasi zeyoga ukunceda ukunciphisa ingqondo yakho.

Ukuphulukana nobudlelwane obunothando apha ngokunjalo-abantu abaninzi bahamba ngokwahlukana, ukwahlukana, kunye noqhawulo-mtshato, kwaye ubhubhane ufumba kuphela kwezo mvakalelo zodwa. Kungenxa yoko le nto, uWiley esithi, ngoku lixesha elingcono kunangaphambili lokusebenza kwimpilo yakho yeemvakalelo, ukuze lonke ubudlelwane buqhubeke phantsi kwendlela bomelele, kwaye namandla akho angakhiwa ngoku.

"Kukho into eluncedo malunga nokuba nakho ukubona ukuba ukujongana nentlungu yeemvakalelo ngoku kuya kukunceda ube ngumntu ongcono kamva. Kwaye kuya kwaye kwaye kuya kufuneka kuphucule nabuphi na ubudlelwane onokuba nabo ezantsi emgceni," utshilo uWiley.

Funa Inkxaso—Ngokoqobo Okanye Ngobuqu—Yokuthetha Ngentlungu Yakho

Bobabini uWiley noSmith bayavuma ukuba enye yezona zinto zibaluleke kakhulu onokuzenza ukunceda ukujonga inkqubo elusizi kukufumana abantu abaxhasayo abanokuphulaphula ngovelwano.

“Musa ukoyika ukufuna inkxaso,” utshilo uSmith. "Abanye abantu bacinga ukuba bafanele ukuba benza ngcono okanye bacinge ukuba akufuneki babe neli xesha linzima. Yinto yokuqala ekufuneka sizivumele yona ukuba iqhubeke. Umntu onexhala esele likho elona xesha linzima. Inkxaso injalo, ifikeleleke ngoku ngoku-nokuba ikwimo yonyango kwi-Intanethi, amayeza, okanye nabani na oqhele ukuya kuye ukuze umamele. "

Ukongeza, bobabini Wiley kunye Smith yinxalenye yamaqela enkxaso usizi kwaye boyike indlela baye baba luncedo.

"Ndiqalise eli qela le-intanethi labasetyhini elibizwa ngokuba 'Lawula iShift Yakho.' Sidibana rhoqo kusasa kwaye ndibakhokele kwinto ebendiyifuna ngokwam kodwa ngoku into esabelana ngayo.Siza kwenza ufundo olukhuthazayo losuku, silandelele ukonwaba kwethu, sithethe ngempilo yeemvakalelo- siyacamngca, ukukhanya ukuzolula, kunye nokubeka iinjongo. Sijoyinile kuba sonke sasidada kwaye silahlekile kwaye sizama ukufumana intsingiselo ngeli xesha-akukho nto ingasifaka kwi-ankile, kwaye oku kuye kwanceda ukuzalisa loo nto, "utshilo uWiley.

USmith ukwachukumisa isibonelelo samaqela enkxaso. "Ukuba nabanye abantu abaphulukana nohlobo olunye lwelahleko njengoko usenza intsebenziswano emangalisayo. Iyafikeleleka kakhulu, ixabiso eliphantsi, ungayenza naphi na, kwaye ungasebenza neengcali mhlawumbi ngekhe ubenazo ukufikelela ngaphambili, utshilo. Ezinye izixhobo ze-intanethi uSmith ucebisa ukuba zibandakanya: I-Psychology Today, Ilahleko yanamhlanje, iThemba Edelman, i-Dinner Party, kunye nokuba lapha, umntu.

Ngelixa isasweleyo ukuba buqu bomntu bokuganga okanye ukudibana kwamehlo, kungcono kakhulu kunento konke konke. Ke endaweni yokuba uhlale ekhaya usentlungwini, ukudibana nabanye kunye nengcali enokukukhokela kuyo kubalulekile. Kwaye iyasebenza.

Khumbula ukuba Intlungu ayihambelani

Kuxhaphake kakhulu, bobabini uWiley noSmith bayavuma, ukuziva ngathi udlule ngaphaya kwentlungu yelahleko ukufumanisa iimvakalelo ezinzima ezizayo kwakhona kwixesha elizayo.

"Ndibona abantu abaninzi ngoku ababaleka intlungu, xa kuthelekiswa nobomi bangaphambi kobhubhane-kodwa ungahlala usentlungwini ixesha elide, kwaye yinto engapheliyo. Phantse sonke isigulana endinaso esiphulukene neqabane. okanye umntwana-kunyaka wokuqala ufana nenkungu kwaye akaziva nyani kuba ukhubeka nje kuyo, uze ngowesibini ikubethe ngokwenene ukuba ayitshintshi kwaye ibe yinxalenye yakho. inyani, kunzima nangakumbi, utshilo uWiley. Ngokuqinisekileyo kunjalo ngentlungu ngexesha lo bhubhani, ngokunjalo-uninzi lwethu sonke sihamba iiveki okanye iinyanga zokuvalelwa yedwa kule nkungu, kwaye kusafuneka sijongane nenyani yokuba le meko inokubuchaphazela njani ubomi ukuya phambili.

Kwaye le "nkungu" yinxalenye yamanqanaba amahlanu esiqhelo osizi, imodeli eyaziwayo ephuhliswe ngugqirha wezifo zengqondo u-Elisabeth Kübler-Ross ngo-1969 njengendlela yokumela ukuba bangaphi abantu abafumana usizi. Ziquka:

• Ukukhanyela iqala kanye emva kokulahlekelwa xa ihlala i-surreal kwaye kunzima ukuyamkela. (Oku kunokuba yinxalenye yaloo "nkungu" yokuqala.)
• Umsindo, inqanaba elilandelayo, yimvakalelo engaphezulu evumela ukuba siqondise loo mvakalelo kwinto engaphantsi kwentlungu kunokudandatheka. (Oku kunokudlala njengokuhlutha umntu osebenza naye ngelixa usebenza ekhaya, okanye ukuphoxwa ngabantu osebenza nabo endlwini kufuneka babelane ngokusondeleyo).
• Iingxoxo, okanye inqanaba elithi "kuthekani ukuba", kuxa sizama ukucinga ngeendlela zokunciphisa ilahleko ngokubuza ukuba bekunokuba yintoni na okanye inokuba yintoni na.
• Uxinzelelo lelona nqanaba licace gca elihlala lihlala ixesha elide — lihlala likhathaza, lililolo, lingenathemba okanye lingenakuzinceda.
• Ukwamkelwa Inqanaba apho umntu akwazi ukwamkela ilahleko njengesiqhelo "njengesiqhelo."

Kodwa uSmith uphikisa ukuba ixhala Lixesha elilahlekileyo lentlungu. Kwincwadi yakhe, Ixhala, inqanaba elilahlekileyo lentlungu, Ubeka indlela ekubaluleke ngayo kunye noxinzelelo lokwenene kwinkqubo yokulila. Uthi ixhala ibilelona phawu lubalulekileyo alubonayo kwizigulana ezilahlekelwe ngumntu osondeleyo kuzo — nangakumbi kunomsindo okanye uxinzelelo. Kwaye ngoku, kunanini na ngaphambili, uphando lwakhe lufanelekile. Intlungu yahluke kakhulu kuye wonke umntu, kodwa into eqhele ukwenzeka ngeli xesha kukuba ukulahlekelwa ngumntu kwi-COVID kuzisa umsindo omkhulu kunye noxinzelelo oluninzi.

Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba amanqanaba amahlanu entlungu ahlala engahambelani, utsho uSmith. "Asihambeli nje ngokugqibeleleyo kuzo. Zenzelwe ukusetyenziswa njengesikhokelo, kodwa ungangena kwaye uphume kuzo-akuyomfuneko ukuba udlule kuzo zontlanu. Ungadlula ngaphezulu kokudlula "

Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuqaphela kunye nokuqonda ukuhlazeka kwentlungu kunye nendlela ehlala izibonakalisa ngayo-kumajelo asekuhlaleni, kumjikelo wethu weendaba, kubomi bethu bomntu. Ihlazo lentlungu—uqheliselo lokugweba intlungu yomnye umntu okanye indlela yokusingatha intlungu—isoloko iphuma kwiimvakalelo zakho zoloyiko, ixhala, nosizi, utsho uSmith. Okwangoku, lukhulu uloyiko, ke kuninzi ukuhlazeka okuqhubekayo — nabantu bebizana ukuba bangamxhasi umgqatswa othile wezopolitiko, nokuba banxibe iimaski, okanye baziva njani ngobhubhane. njl.

"Umntu owenza ihlazo akahlali kwindawo elungileyo yena. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhumbula. Ukuba kuyenzeka kuwe, ungaya kwindawo yenkxaso, nokuba ikwi-intanethi, okanye ngumhlobo okanye yintoni-khumbula nje. akukho ‘ndlela ilungileyo’ yokuba buhlungu,” utshilo uSmith.

Yenza amasiko obuqu ukuze ukhumbule ilahleko yakho

Ukufumana iindlela ezintsha nezinentsingiselo zokukhumbula umntu othandekayo oye wadlula okanye wabhiyozela isiganeko esilahlekileyo ngokuqinisekileyo unokunceda ukunciphisa iimvakalelo ezinzima zentlungu.

’Ndikhuthaze abantu ukuba babe nobuchule ngangokunokwenzeka ngeli xesha ukuze beze nezabo izithethe, izithethe, nantoni na eziva ilungile kuwe. Ukuba umntu usweleke ngeli xesha, kuhlala kunjalo kungabikho mngcwabo, kungekho kujongwa, akukho sikhumbuzo, akukho mntu uthethayo, kwaye bayemka. Akukho mzimba, awungekhe uhambe ubekwimeko efanayo. Ndicinga ukuba kufana nokuphelisa inoveli ngaphandle kwexesha kwisivakalisi sokugqibela, utshilo uWiley.

Njengabantu, ngokwendalo sifumana intuthuzelo enkulu kwisithethe nakwizithethe. Xa siphulukene nento, kubalulekile ukuba ufumane indlela yokumakisha loo lahleko ngokobuqu. Oku kunokusebenza, yithi, ukuphulukana nokukhulelwa okanye nasiphi na isiganeko sobomi esicwangciswe kwangaphambili, ucacisa uWiley. Kuya kufuneka ufumane eyakho indlela yokuyiphawula ngexesha, ngento onokuthi uyijonge ngasemva okanye uyichukumise ngokwasemzimbeni.

Umzekelo, ukutyala umthi yinto eyomeleleyo enokuphawula isiphelo sobomi. Yinto onokuyibona kwaye uyichukumise. Ungayihombisa indawo epakiweyo okanye ufumane enye iprojekthi ebonakalayo onokuyenza, utshilo uWiley. "Nokuba ulayita ikhandlela nje emva kwendlu yakho, okanye wenza utshintsho endlwini yakho, ubamba izikhumbuzo ezikwi-Intanethi, okanye uphosa itheko lomhla wokuzalwa lokupeyinta isikhonkwane eluntwini kwi-cul-de-sac yakho-sinokuba nezikhumbuzo zabantu indlela, kodwa ukuba nezi zikhumbuzo zibambekayo okanye ezentlalo kungcono kunokuba kungabikho nto. "Ukuza kunye, ukufumana inkxaso, ukunxibelelana nabantu esibathandayo kubaluleke kakhulu ngoku," utshilo uSmith.

Ukunceda abanye kukwayindlela entle yokuba buhlungu, njengoko kususa iingcinga kwintlungu yethu, ukuba okwethutyana. "Yenza into entle komnye umntu ebethetha lukhulu kulowo umthandayo ulahlekileyo-yenza ialbhamu yezithombe ekwi-intanethi, ubhale incwadi encinci yamabali ngabo," utshilo uSmith. "Siyayilungisa yonke le ntlungu kodwa kubalulekile ukuyibeka etafileni, uyijonge, uyiqwalasele, kwaye wenze okuthile ngayo."

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