Ukubaleka Kwandinceda Ndoyisa Ixhala Nodandatheko

Umxholo

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Bendisoloko ndinobuntu obunexhala. Ngalo lonke ixesha kukho utshintsho olukhulu ebomini bam, ndandisoloko ndihlaselwa lixhala, kwanaxa ndandisesikolweni samabanga aphakathi. Kwakunzima ukukhula ngaloo nto. Emva kokuba ndiphume esikolweni esiphakamileyo ndaza ndaya kwikholeji ndedwa, oko kwandula izinto ukuya kwinqanaba elitsha lokuxhalaba nokudandatheka. Ndandinenkululeko yokwenza nantoni na endiyifunayo, kodwa andikwazi. Ndaziva ngathi ndibanjelwe emzimbeni wam-kwaye kwii-100 zeepawundi ezityebileyo, ngokwasemzimbeni andinakukwazi ukwenza izinto ezininzi ezinokwenziwa ngamanye amantombazana alingana nam. Ndaziva ndibanjelwe engqondweni yam. Khange ndikwazi ukuphuma ndonwabe, kuba andikwazi ukuphuma kulomjikelo wexhala. Ndenza abahlobo abambalwa, kodwa bendisoloko ndiziva ndingaphandle kwezinto. Ndijike ndanestress ndatya. Ndandidandathekile, ndifumana iyeza lemihla ngemihla lokulwa nokuxhalaba, yaye ekugqibeleni ndandinobunzima obungaphezu kweekhilogram ezingama-270. (Idibeneyo: Indlela yokujongana nokuxhalaba kweNtlalo.)

Emva koko, kwiintsuku ezimbini ngaphambi kokuba ndigqibe iminyaka engama-21, kwafunyaniswa ukuba umama unomhlaza wamabele. Eso yayikukukhaba iblukhwe endifuna ukuzixelela, "Kulungile, kufuneka ujike izinto." Ekugqibeleni ndaqonda ukuba ndingawulawula umzimba wam; Ndandinamandla ngaphezu kokuba ndicinga. (Inqaku elisecaleni: Ukuxhalaba kunye noMhlaza kunokuDityaniswa.)

Ndenza umthambo kancinci kwaye ndizolile ekuqaleni. Ndandihlala kwibhayisekile imizuzu engama-45 yonke imihla ndibukele Bahlobo kwindawo yam yokuzivocavoca. Kodwa ndakuba ndiqale ukuhla ubunzima-iipounds ezingama-40 kwiinyanga ezine zokuqala-ndaqala ukuya ethafeni. Ke kuye kwafuneka ndiphonononge ezinye iindlela ukuzigcina ndinomdla wokusebenza. Ndizamile yonke into eyenziwa ngumthambo wam, ukusuka kwibhokisi ekhatywayo kunye nokuphakamisa ubunzima ukuya kwiqela lokuqina kunye neeklasi zokudanisa. Kodwa ekugqibeleni ndasifumana isantya sam esonwabileyo xa ndaqalisa ukubaleka. Bendihlala ndisithi andizukubaleka ngaphandle kokuba ndileqwa. Emva koko, ngokukhawuleza ndaba yintombazana ethanda ukubetha i-treadmill kwaye iphume ngaphandle ukuze ndibaleke de ndingakwazi ukubaleka. Ndaziva ngathi, ah, le yinto endinokungena kuyo.

Ukubaleka kwaba lixesha lam lokucoca intloko. Iphantse yangcono kunonyango. Kwaye kwangaxeshanye ndiqalise ukwandisa i-mileage yam kwaye ndingena emgama wokubaleka, bendikwazi ukuzincothula kumayeza nonyango. Ndacinga, “Heyi, mhlawumbi mna unako ndenze umdyarho wesiqingatha. "Ndibaleke umdyarho wam wokuqala ngo-2010. (Related: Lo mfazi khange ayishiye indlu yakhe unyaka wonke-de impilo yomzimba isindise ubomi bakhe.)

Kakade ke, andizange ndiyiqonde into eyenzekayo ngelo xesha. Kodwa xa ndiphuma kwelinye icala, ndacinga, "Owu nkosi yam, ukubaleka kwenze wonke umahluko." Nje ukuba ekugqibeleni ndiqale ukuba sempilweni, ndakwazi ukubuyisela ixesha elilahlekileyo kwaye ndiphila ubomi bam. Ngoku ndineminyaka engama-31 ubudala, nditshatile, ndilahlekelwe ngaphezulu kweeponti ezili-100, kwaye ndibhiyozele nje iminyaka elishumi kamama engenawo umhlaza. Ndiyekile namayeza phantse iminyaka esixhenxe.

Ngokuqinisekileyo, kukho amaxesha apho izinto ziba noxinzelelo. Ngamanye amaxesha, ubomi bunzima. Kodwa ukufumana ezo mile kundinceda ndikwazi ukumelana noxinzelelo. Ndiyazixelela, "Akubi njengokuba ucinga ukuba ayiyonto imbi. Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka ujikeleze. Masibeke inyawo elinye phambi kolunye. Qhagamshela iiteki zakho, beka ii-headphone. Nokuba uya ujikeleze ibhloko, yiya nje uyokwenza into ethile. Kuba wakuba uphume phandle, wena zi Ndiza kuziva bhetele. yonyusa imood yam kwaye ucofe iqhosha lam lokuseta kwakhona.

NgeCawa, nge-15 kaMatshi, ndiqhuba isiqingatha se-United Airlines NYC. Bendigxile kuqeqesho olunqamlezileyo kunye noqeqesho lwamandla ngaphezu kokubaleka. Ndiye ndafunda ixesha lokumamela umzimba wam. Ibiyindlela ende. Ndingathanda ukuqhuba irekhodi lomntu, kodwa ukugqiba ngoncumo yeyona njongo yam yokwenyani. Olu lolona gqatso lubalulekileyo-olona lukhulu endakha ndalwenza-kwaye kuphela okwesibini kwam kwisiXeko saseNew York. Ngexesha lam lokuqala, i-NYRR Dash ukuya kwi-Finish Line 5K ngexesha leempelaveki ye-TCS New York City Marathon, ndileqe eyona nto ibalaseleyo kwaye ndathandana nezitalato zaseNew York. Ukubaleka isiqingatha se-NYC kuya kuba kukwenza inkumbulo, masiphume-kwaye-sonwabe kunye nazo zonke izihlwele kunye nokugcoba komdyarho kwakhona. Ndiba namaqhuma xa ndicinga nje ngayo. Liphupha libe yinyaniso. (Nazi izinto ezingama-30 ezingakumbi esizixabisayo malunga nokubaleka.)

Kutshanje ndibone indoda esele ikhulile ibaleka ebhodini e-Atlantic City, NJ, bonke behlelelekile kwimozulu ye-18-degree, besenza into yabo. Ndathi kumyeni wam, "Ndiyathemba ukuba ndingangulo mntu. Njengokuba ndiphila nje, ndifuna ukubanakho ukuphuma nokubaleka." Ngokude nje ukuba ndiyakwazi ukubopha kwaye ndiphilile ngokwaneleyo, ndiza. Kuba ukubaleka yeyona nto indisindisileyo kuxinzelelo noxinzelelo. Yiza, New York!

UJessica Skarzynski waseSayreville, NJ yingcali kwezonxibelelwano kwezentengiso, ilungu leKlabhu yaseMermaid ekwi-intanethi eqhuba uluntu, kunye nebhlog kaJessRunsHappy.com.

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