Indlela Oluncuma Ngokugqibeleleyo Enokusetyenziselwa Ukuzikhusela

Umxholo

• Ke, ngokutsho kwesayensi, yenza uncumo olugqibeleleyo?
• Ke uyazi ukuba uncume njani - ngoku uza kwenza ntoni?

Wonke umntu, kubandakanya isayensi, uxelela abantu basetyhini ukuba kutheni kufuneka sincume ngakumbi, kodwa sifuna ukwazi ukuba kanjani. Nantsi indlela yokufezekisa uncumo olufanelekileyo kuwo nawuphi na umcimbi.

Ndiya kuvuma, ndiyancuma ngalo lonke ixesha. Kodwa ukunyaniseka, ayikuko kuba ndifuna. Ngamanye amaxesha ndiziva ngathi kufuneka, ngakumbi ukunciphisa umdlalo ongafunekiyo okanye iimeko ezinzima. Kweli xesha siphila kulo, into yokugqibela endiyifunayo kukuba isayensi inike abantu abangabaziyo izizathu ezingakumbi zokuthi, "Ndincume."

Ndiyayifumana. Uncumo lokwenene alupheleli nje ekuphakamiseni ubuso. Inokubuchaphazela ngokuqinisekileyo ubomi bakho kwaye inamandla okutshintsha indlela abanye abantu abakubona ngayo.

Kodwa ndingathanda ukugcina ezona ncumo zam zilungileyo kwabo bafanelekayo. Umbuzo ngulo, yintoni eyenza uncumo oluhle, kwaye ndazi njani ukuba ndiyisebenzisa nini?

Isifundo esitsha - ngokufanelekileyo esinesihloko esithi "" - siyayichitha into eyenza ukuba uncumo lube nempumelelo kunye neziphumo zalo kwabanye.

Ke, ngokutsho kwesayensi, yenza uncumo olugqibeleleyo?

Ewe, akukho ndlela yodwa eya kuncumo oluyimpumelelo. Akukho buso bomntu bufana ncam.

Nangona kunjalo, kukho iseti yeeparameter ukuba uncumo oluyimpumelelo luwela phantsi. Ngokwesiqhelo ibhalansi phakathi kwekona yomlomo (ukusuka embindini womlomo ukuya kwikona yomlomo ophezulu kunye nomlomo osezantsi), ubungakanani boncumo (ubude boncumo ukusuka embindini womlomo osezantsi ukuya kwikona yomlomo wasekunene), kwaye mangaphi amazinyo abonisayo ( phakathi komlomo ophezulu nangaphantsi).

Abantu abakwisifundo bakwaceliwe ukuba babeke uncumo "njengoluthandabuzekayo okanye olumnandi," "olungelolokwenyani okanye oluyinyani," kunye nendlela ababephumelela ngayo-ukusuka kokubi kakhulu, okubi, ukungathathi cala, ukulunga nokulunga kakhulu.

Oku kunokubonakala ngathi kukuqhekeka kweenwele, kodwa ukuncuma yinto enkulu yengqondo kunye nentlalontle. Olu phando luye lwafumanisa ukuba abantu abaneziphene ebusweni abachaphazeleka ngenxa yokungakwazi ukuvelisa uncumo oluyimpumelelo.

Ke uyazi ukuba uncume njani - ngoku uza kwenza ntoni?

Njengomntu okwi-5 yeenyawo i-intshi ezi-2 ubude, uhlala ephosakele ngokuba ngumntu ofikisayo, kwaye engenalo uqeqesho olusemthethweni ekuzikhuseleni, isixhobo sam sokukhetha ukusasaza iimeko ezinobutshaba ngu ukuncuma.

Ngala maxesha exesha elizayo xa ndihamba ezitalatweni, ndicinga ngeshishini lam kunye nomculo odlalayo ngee-headphone zam, kwaye umntu ongaziwayo undikhwaza esithi, "Ndibonise uncumo lwam oluhle" - oh ndinayo inzululwazi uncumo oluntsonkothileyo ukubonisa ngoku.

Ndiyabulela kolu phando lutsha, akunyanzelekanga ukuba ndiphinde ndinikezele ngoncumo lokwenyani kwabo bangcungcuthekisa ezitalatweni. Ndiyazi ukuba loluphi uncumo oloyikayo ukuphepha ukubonisa abo bandixhaphazayo. Ukuba ikhona into, ngoku kufuneka bandoyike.

Ndikulungele ukubonisa amazinyo kangangoko ndinako kwaye ndinyuse ikona yemilebe yam ukuya kwelona zinga liphezulu (ngokusisiseko imeko yeJoker). Oyena mntu ungonwabanga, umhlaseli wam akanandlela yimbi ngaphandle kokuyicacisa ngokuchanekileyo ngokuthi "kukusebenza ngokubanzi: kubi kakhulu" kwaye "kuyothusa."

Abahlukumezi basesitalatweni kuyo yonke indawo, ndiyathemba ukuba ukulungele ukubona uncumo lwam oluhle, ulungiselelwe wena kunye ne-microaggression yakho.

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