Iingcebiso ezi-5 ezindincedileyo ukujonga ingxaki enkulu kwi-20s yam

Umxholo

• Cela uncedo-kwaye ucacise
• Dibanisa uhlaziyo lwakho lwempilo
• Umonde ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni
• Funa uncedo lweengcali
• Funda ukwamkela ukuba ubomi abusoze bufane
• Ukuhamba ngeengxaki akusoloko kulula, kodwa ukuba nezixhobo ezifanelekileyo zokuhlangabezana nako kunokunceda

Emva kokufumana umhlaza wobuchopho kwi-27, nantsi into endincedileyo ukujamelana.

Xa umncinci, kulula ukuziva ungenakoyiswa. Iinyani zokugula kunye nentlekele zinokubonakala zikude, kunokwenzeka kodwa kungalindelwanga.

Kuze kube, ngaphandle kwesixwayiso, loo mgca ngequbuliso uphantsi kweenyawo zakho, kwaye uzibone uwela ngokungathandabuzekiyo uye kwelinye icala.

Inokwenzeka ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngokungacwangciswanga njengaleyo. Ubuncinci yenzelwe mna.

Kwiinyanga ezimbalwa emva kokuba ndineminyaka engama-27 ubudala, kwafunyaniswa ukuba ndandinomhlaza wobuchopho obizwa ngokuba yi-anaplastic astrocytoma. Ibanga le-3 (ngaphandle kwe-4) ithumba elisuswe kwingqondo yam lafunyanwa emva kokuba bendikhuthaze i-MRI yokuphonononga, nangona oogqirha abaninzi bendixelela ukuba inkxalabo yam yayingekho mthethweni.

Ukusukela mhla ndafumana iziphumo, ezibonisa ubunzima bebhola egalufa kumnqa wam wasekunene weparietali, kwingxelo yezifo ezalandela i-craniotomy ukususa ithumba, ubomi bam butyibilikile ukusuka kwinto engama-20 esebenza kwisikolo esiphumelele umntu onomhlaza, esilwela ubomi bakhe.

Kwiinyanga okoko ndafunyaniswa, ndinelishwa ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndibukele abanye abantu endibathandayo behamba notshintsho lwabo olubi. Ndithathe umnxeba kwii-sobs ezingalindelekanga kwaye ndimamele ibali lenkathazo entsha ethe tyaba isangqa sam kwangoko sabahlobo emhlabeni, bonke abakwiminyaka ye-20.

Kwaye bendilapho njengoko sathi chu ukuzikhethela.

Ekuvukeni koku, kuye kwacaca kum ukuba kuncinci kangakanani ukuzilungiselela esikufumana kwizinto ezibuhlungu ngokwenene, ngakumbi kwiminyaka yokuqala yokuqala ukuphuma kwesikolo.

Ikholeji ayifundisi iklasi malunga nokuba yenzeni ngelixa iqabane lakho okanye umhlobo osenyongweni okanye umntakwenu esenza utyando abanakuphila ngalo. Ulwazi malunga nokuba wenzeni xa kusenzeka intlekele kuhlala kufundwa ngendlela enzima: kuvavanyo kunye nempazamo kunye namava aphilayo.

Nangona kunjalo kukho amanyathelo esinokuthi siwathathe, iindlela esinokuncedana ngazo, kunye nezinto ezenza ukuba kunganyamezeleki kube lula ukuhamba.

Njengengcali entsha engathandabuzekiyo kwihlabathi lokusinda kweengxaki kwi-20s yam, ndiye ndaqokelela izinto ezimbalwa ezindincede ndadlula kwezona ntsuku zimbi.

Cela uncedo-kwaye ucacise

Ngokucacileyo njengoko oku kunokuvakala, ukucela uncedo kubahlobo kunye nosapho kwindlela yentlekele kunokuba yenye yezona zinto zinzima ukuzenza.

Ngokwam, ukuvumela abantu bandincede kube nzima. Nokuba ngeentsuku zokuba ndinganyanzeliswa sisicaphucaphu esibangelwa yichemo, ndisoloko ndizama ukuyenza ngokwam. Yithathe kum; ayiyi kukusa ndawo.

Kukho umntu owakhe wandixelela, phakathi kwam ndikhalazela uncedo, ukuba xa kusehla intlekele kwaye abantu bafuna ukunceda, sisipho nje kubo njengokuba kunjalo nakubavumela. Mhlawumbi ekuphela kwento elungileyo malunga neengxaki kukuba kucaca njani ukuba abo ubathandayo bayakuthanda bakuthandile kwaye bafuna ukukunceda kobona bubi.

Kwakhona, xa ucela uncedo, kubalulekile ukuba ubhekise ngqo kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Ngaba ufuna uncedo kwezothutho ukuya nokubuya esibhedlele? Ukunyamekela okanye ukukhathalela abantwana? Umntu wokucoca indlu yakho ngelixa usiya kugqirha? Ndifumanise ukuba ukucela ukuba ndiziswe ukutya kuye kwaba sesinye sezicelo ezininzi eziluncedo ukusukela oko ndafunyaniswa.

Yazisa abantu, emva koko babenze benze umsebenzi.

Ukuzilungiselela Iiwebhusayithi ezinje ngeNika i-InKind, iCaringBridge, iTreyini yokutya, kunye neLotsa Ukunceda izandla kunokuba zizixhobo ezikhulu zokubeka uluhlu lwezinto ozifunayo kunye nabantu abalungiselela ukujikeleza. Kwaye ungoyiki ukuthumela umsebenzi wokwenza indawo okanye iphepha komnye umntu.

Dibanisa uhlaziyo lwakho lwempilo

Xa umntu egula okanye enzakele, kuqhelekile ukuba abo basondeleyo kubo bafuna ukwazi ukuba kuqhubeka ntoni kwaye baqhuba njani mihla le. Kodwa kumntu ofuna ukunxibelelana nazo zonke izinto ezibalulekileyo, oku kunokuba nzima kwaye kube nzima.

Ndifumanise ukuba ndihlala ndinexhala lokuba ndiyakulibala ukuxelela umntu obalulekileyo ebomini bam xa kukho into enkulu eyenzekileyo, kwaye ndaziva ndityhafile ngumsebenzi wokuphinda ndibhale okanye ukuphinda ndibalise uhlaziyo lwamva nje kukhathalelo lwam, ukuxilongwa, kunye nokuxelwa kwangaphambili.

Kwangoko, umntu othile wacebisa ukuba ndenze iqela elivaliweyo le-Facebook ukwazisa nokuhlaziya abantu apha endleleni. Kwakukuli qela apho abahlobo kunye nosapho babekwazi ukufunda uhlaziyo ngomhla weeyure ezintandathu ze-craniotomy, nasemva koko njengoko ndandisokola ukubuyela e-ICU.

Njengokuba iinyanga ziqhubekile, ibe yindawo apho ndikwaziyo ukubhiyozela ukufezekiswa kunye noluntu lwam (njengokugqiba iiveki ezintandathu zemitha!) Kwaye ndizigcine zonke zisemgangathweni kwiindaba zamva nje ngaphandle kokufuna ukuxelela wonke umntu ngokwahlukeneyo.

Ngaphandle koFacebook I-Facebook ayisiyiyo yodwa indlela yokwazisa abo ubathandayo ukuba uqhuba njani. Unokuseta uluhlu lwe-imeyile, iibhlog, okanye iiakhawunti ze-Instagram. Nokuba yeyiphi oyikhethileyo, unokufumana umntu okunceda ukuba uzigcine nazo ezi.

Umonde ngumhlobo wakho osenyongweni

Nokuba uhamba kwimiceli mngeni yakho yezempilo, ukubukela umntu esilwa ukuba achache kwisiganeko esiyintlekele, okanye nzulu kwimisele yentlungu enxulumene nokufa kunye nelahleko, ukuba nomonde kuyakukusindisa ngalo lonke ixesha.

Kunzima kakhulu ukwamkela. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza izinto zihamba ngamaxesha obunzima, zikwacotha kabuhlungu.

Esibhedlele kunye nokubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo, kuhlala kukho ixesha elide apho kungatshintshi nto. Oku kunokuba nzima. Ngelixa kulula ukutsho kunokuba kwenziwe, ndifumene umonde unokufezekiswa ngeendlela ngeendlela, kubandakanya:

• ukuthatha ikhefu
• ukuziqhelisa ukuphefumla
• Ukubhala phantsi ukuba zingakanani esele zitshintshile
• ukuvumela ukuba uzive zonke iimvakalelo ezinkulu kunye nokuphazamiseka
• Ukuvuma ukuba izinto ziyatshintsha kwaye ziyatshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha (nokuba zikwizinto ezincinane kuphela)

Funa uncedo lweengcali

Ngelixa usapho kunye nabahlobo banokuba luncedo kakhulu ekunikezeleni ngenkxaso, kubalulekile ngokufanayo ukufumana umntu osuswe kwisangqa sakho sangaphakathi onokukunceda uhambe kule ngxaki kwinqanaba elinzulu.

Nokuba "uncedo lobungcali" lunyangi, ugqirha wezifo zengqondo, okanye umcebisi kwezenkolo okanye ngokomoya, fumana umntu ogxile kwinto oyifunayo ukuze uphile kumava akho akhoyo.

Amaqela enkxaso ayamangalisa, nawo. Ukufumana abantu abayiqonda kakuhle le nto uhamba kuyo kubaluleke kakhulu. Inokubonelela ngengqondo yokungabi wedwa kolu hambo.

Jonga koonontlalontle okanye kumaziko ononophelo ngolwazi malunga nokuba uwafumane phi amaqela enkxaso. Ukuba awukwazi ukuyifumana, yenza enye kubantu odibana nabo ngamava akho okanye kwi-intanethi. Sukuyeka ukufuna inkxaso. Khumbula: Ufanele oko.

Ukufumana uncedo olufanelekileyo kuweUkuba unomdla wokuthetha nengcali yezempilo yengqondo, jonga ezi zikhokelo:

• Konke malunga neziBonelelo zeMpilo yeNgqondo
• Ulufumana njani unyango olungabizi

Funda ukwamkela ukuba ubomi abusoze bufane

Ngelixa sinokuphikisana nolu luvo kwaye silwe nako konke esimele ukuthi "ngekhe kube njalo kum," inyani kukuba, emva kwengxaki, yonke into iyatshintsha.

Kwaye kwafuneka ndishiye inkqubo endiyithandayo.

Ndilahlekelwe zinwele.

Kwafuneka ndinikezele ngexesha kunye nenkululeko yam kunyango lwemihla ngemihla.

Kwaye ndiyakuhlala ngonaphakade neenkumbulo ze-ICU kwaye mhla ndeva ukuxilongwa kwam.

Kodwa kukho ulungelelwaniso lwesilivere kuyo yonke le nto: Ayilulo lonke utshintsho oluza kuba lubi. Abanye abantu, bafunda izinto ngeziqu zabo, ngabantu ababathandayo, okanye uluntu lwabo ebengalindelanga.

Andikaze ndizive ndixhaswa njengoko ndisenza ngoku, okanye ndinethamsanqa lokuphila. Yinyani bobabini: Yiba nomsindo, ungxole, ukhwaze kwaye ubethe izinto. Kodwa qaphela ukuba kuninzi kangakanani okuhle. Qaphela izinto ezincinci, amaxesha amnandi amahle ovuyo asangena kuyo yonke imihla eyoyikisayo, ngelixa uzivumela ukuba ubenomsindo wokuba le ngxaki ikhona.

Ukuhamba ngeengxaki akusoloko kulula, kodwa ukuba nezixhobo ezifanelekileyo zokuhlangabezana nako kunokunceda

Xa kuziwa ekufumaneni ingxaki, akukho ndlela yokuphuma ngaphandle, njengoko isitsho intetho.

Kwaye ngelixa kungekho namnye kuthi olungiselelwe ngokwenyani ukuba ahlelwe yintlekele, nokuba singama-27 okanye angama-72, kuyanceda ukuba nezixhobo ezimbalwa kwindawo yokugcina izixhobo ukusinceda sihambe kula maxesha anzima.

UCaroline Catlin ngumculi, umgqugquzeli kunye nomsebenzi wezempilo yengqondo. Uyazithanda iikati, iilekese ezimuncu, kunye novelwano. Ungamfumana kwiwebhusayithi yakhe.