Yintoni ukuTshintsha?

Umxholo

• Yintoni ukuphikisa?
• Yahluke ngantoni kwingqikelelo?
• Usetyenziswa njani unyango?
• Unyango olujolise kugqithiso
• Unyango lwengqondo olunamandla
• Unyango lokuziphatha kwengqondo (CBT)
• Ziziphi iimvakalelo ezichaphazelekayo ekutshintsheni?
• Yintoni unyango lotshintsho?
• Yise kude

Ukutshintshwa kwenzeka xa umntu eqondisa kwakhona ezinye zeemvakalelo zabo okanye iminqweno yomnye umntu kumntu ohluke ngokupheleleyo.

Umzekelo wokudluliselwa kuxa ugcina iimpawu zikatata wakho kumphathi omtsha. Ubeka iimvakalelo zikabawo kulo mphathi mtsha. Banokuba ziimvakalelo ezilungileyo okanye ezimbi.

Njengomnye umzekelo, unokudibana nommelwane omtsha kwaye kwangoko ubone ukufana komzimba kwiqabane langaphambili. Emva koko uxela iindlela zokwenza izinto kwi-ex yakho kulo mntu mtsha.

Ukutshintshwa kunokwenzeka nokuba ujongene nokungafani okwahlukileyo. Ihlala ikwenza ukuba ujonge ngaphaya koku kungafaniyo nokufana.

Ukutshintshwa kunokwenzeka kwakhona kwimeko yokunakekelwa kwezempilo. Umzekelo, ugqithiso kunyango lwenzeka xa isigulana sidibanisa umsindo, ubutshaba, uthando, ukuhlonipha, okanye uninzi lweemvakalelo ezinokubakho kunyangi okanye kugqirha. Iingcali zonyango ziyazi ukuba oku kunokwenzeka. Bazama ngenkuthalo ukubeka iliso kuyo.

Ngamanye amaxesha, njengenxalenye yenkqubo yabo yonyango, abanye abanyangi bayayikhuthaza. Njengengxenye ye-psychoanalysis, oogqirha bazama ukuqonda iinkqubo zomntu ezingqondweni. Oku kunokubanceda ukuba baqonde isenzo sesigulana, isimilo, kunye neemvakalelo.

Umzekelo, i-Therapist inokubona ukungabikho kokuziva kusondele kwisigulana sabo sokungakwazi ukwenza ubudlelwane obomeleleyo nabanye ababalulekileyo. Ukutshintsha kunokunceda ugqirha ukuba aqonde ukuba kutheni loloyiko lokusondelelana. Banokusebenzela ukusombulula le ngxaki. Oku kunokunceda isigulana ukuba sikhulise ubudlelwane obusempilweni, obuhlala ixesha elide.

Yintoni ukuphikisa?

Ukungaguquguquki kwenzeka xa ugqirha ehlengahlengisa iimvakalelo zabo okanye iminqweno yabo kwizigulana zabo. Oku kunokuba yindlela yokuphendula kwisigulana. Inokwenzeka ngokuzimeleyo kuyo nayiphi na indlela yokuziphatha kwisigulana.

Iingcali zonyango zikhokelwa ziikhowudi zobungcali ezingqongqo. Kananjalo, basebenzela ukuseka imigca ecacileyo yokwahlukana phakathi kwabo njengomboneleli wezempilo kunye nawe njengesigulana.

Umzekelo, i-Therapist ayinakuba ngumhlobo wakho ngaphandle kweseti yonyango. Bafuna ukugcina umgama oqeqeshiweyo.

Nangona kunjalo, isithuba phakathi kwengcali kunye nesigulana sinokuba sisiphithiphithi. Ukutshintsha kunokuyenza nzima imeko, nayo. Abanye abaqeqeshi bayasokola nale micimbi ngamanye amaxesha ekusebenzeni kwabo.

Iingcali zonyango zinokuzama ukunqanda okanye ukuphucula ukuhanjiswa. Banokubhenela koogxa babo kwaye baye kunyango ngokwabo.

Iingcali zonyango zisenokucebisa abaguli koogxa ukuba banciphise imeko kwaye banike olona nyango lusemgangathweni kwisigulana.

Yahluke ngantoni kwingqikelelo?

Uqikelelo kunye notshintsho ziyafana. Zombini zibandakanya ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo okanye iimvakalelo kumntu ongenazo ngokwenene. Umahluko phakathi kwezi zinto zimbini kulapho ukwenziwa gwenxa kweziganeko zenzeka khona.

Iprojekti yenzeka xa usithi uziphethe okanye uziva ngathi unomntu kubo. Emva koko, ungaqala ukubona "ubungqina" bezo mvakalelo zichazwe kuwe.

Umzekelo, uqikelelo lwenzeka xa uqaphela ukuba awumthandi kakhulu umntu osebenza naye omtsha iikubhite ezimbini ngaphezulu. Awuqinisekanga ukuba kutheni, kodwa ufumana olovakalelo. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, uqala ukuziqinisekisa ukuba babonisa iimpawu zokungakuthandi. Ukuziphatha komntu ngamnye kusebenza "njengobungqina" benkcazo yakho.

Iimvakalelo ezichaziweyo zinokuba zombini zilungile (uthando, unqulo, unqulo) okanye ezimbi (ubutshaba, ubundlongondlongo, umona). Ziyakhula njengoko iimvakalelo zakho ngomntu zikhula.

Usetyenziswa njani unyango?

Ukutshintshwa kwonyango kunokuba kungenjongo. Isigulana sithumela iimvakalelo malunga nomzali, umntakwabo, okanye iqabane lakho kunyangi.

Isenokuba ngabom okanye ukucaphuka. Ingcali yakho inokusebenza kunye nawe ukukhupha ezi mvakalelo okanye ungquzulwano. Ngale ndlela banokubona ngcono kwaye babaqonde.

Kuzo zonke iimeko, ingcali yonyango kufuneka yenze isigulana sazi ukuba kwenzeka nini ukuhambisa. Ngale ndlela unokuyiqonda indlela oziva ngayo.

Ukuhanjiswa okungasetyenziswanga kunganengxaki kwisigulana. Isenokubathintela nokuba babuyele kunyango. Oku akunaziphumo.

Nazi ezinye zeemeko zonyango olunokuthi lusebenzise ngokuzithandela ugqithiselo:

Unyango olujolise kugqithiso

Kubudlelwane obusekwe kakuhle kunyango, isigulana kunye nonyango banokukhetha ukusebenzisa ukuhambisa njengesixhobo sonyango.

Ingcali yakho inokukunceda udlulisele iingcinga okanye iimvakalelo malunga nomntu kubo. Ke ugqirha wakho unokusebenzisa olo nxibelelwano ukuze aqonde ngcono iingcinga kunye neemvakalelo zakho.

Ngokudibeneyo, unokukhulisa unyango olungcono okanye utshintsho kwindlela yokuziphatha.

Unyango lwengqondo olunamandla

Oku kuhlala kuluhlobo lwexeshana lokonyango lwengqondo. Ixhomekeke kubuchule bempilo bokuchaza ngokukhawuleza kunye nokuphumelela kwiingxaki zesigulana.

Ukuba le micimbi ibandakanya iimvakalelo okanye iingcinga ngomnye umntu, ugqirha unokuzama ngenjongo yokucaphukisa isigulana sakhe ngalo lwazi.

Olu hlobo lotshintsho lunokunceda ugqirha ukuba akhule ngokukhawuleza kwaye aqale unyango.

Unyango lokuziphatha kwengqondo (CBT)

Ukuba uvulelekile ekuqondeni indlela elidlulileyo lakho eliyibumbe ngayo ingxaki yakho yangoku, ingcali yakho yokusebenzisa i-CBT.

I-CBT ekugqibeleni ikufundisa ukuba uqonde indlela oziphethe ngayo yakudala ukuze uphinde uphinde uphinde ube sempilweni. Le nkqubo inokuzisa imiba yeemvakalelo ehlala ibuhlungu.

Ukutshintshelwa kule meko kunokwenzeka xa isigulana sifumana kunyango umthombo wentuthuzelo okanye ubutshaba obonyusa ezinye zezo mvakalelo.

Ziziphi iimvakalelo ezichaphazelekayo ekutshintsheni?

Ukutshintsha kubandakanya uluhlu olubanzi lweemvakalelo. Zonke ziyasebenza.

Iimvakalelo ezingalunganga zokudlulisa zibandakanya:

• umsindo
• ukuphoxeka
• unxunguphalo
• ubutshaba
• uloyiko
• unxunguphalo

Iimvakalelo ezintle zokudlulisa zibandakanya:

• ingqalelo
• ingqiqo
• uthando
• uthando
• uncamathiselo

Yintoni unyango lotshintsho?

Kwiimeko xa ugqirha esebenzisa ukuhambisa njengenxalenye yenkqubo yonyango, ukuqhubeka nonyango kuya kunceda "ukunyanga" ukuhanjiswa. Ingcali inokusebenza kunye nawe ukuphelisa ukuhlengahlengiswa kwakhona kweemvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo. Uya kusebenza ngokufanelekileyo ukufaka ezo mvakalelo.

Kwimeko apho ukuhanjiswa kusonakalisa amandla akho okuthetha nonyango lwakho, kuya kufuneka ukuba ubone ugqirha omtsha.

Injongo yonyango kukuba uziva ukhululekile ukuba uvule kwaye ube nengxoxo ethembekileyo nengcali yezempilo yengqondo. Ukuba ugqithiselo lumi endleleni yolo qheliselo, unyango aluyi kusebenza.

Unokucinga ngokubonana nonyango lwesibini malunga notshintsho. Xa uziva ukuba isonjululwe, ungabuyela kunyangi wakho wokuqala kwaye uqhubeke nomsebenzi owawusenza ngaphambi kokuba ugqithiselo lube yingxaki.

Yise kude

Ukutshintshwa yinto eyenzekayo xa abantu behambisa iimvakalelo okanye iimvakalelo malunga nomntu omnye kumntu ohluke ngokupheleleyo. Oku kunokwenzeka kubomi bemihla ngemihla. Inokwenzeka kwakhona kwindawo yonyango.

Iingcali zonyango zinokusebenzisa ngabom ukuhambisa ukuze uqonde ngcono umbono wakho okanye iingxaki. Isenokungalindelwanga. Unokuthi uneemvakalelo ezimbi okanye ezintle kumgqirha wakho ngenxa yokufana okubonayo kunyango lwakho nakomnye umntu ebomini bakho.

Unyango lunokwenzeka kuzo zombini ezi meko. Ukujongana nokudluliselwa ngokuchanekileyo kunokukunceda wena kunye nonyango lwakho ukuba uphinde ufumane ubudlelwane obunempilo, obunemveliso ekugqibeleni obuyinzuzo kuwe.