Indlela Amaso Esinqeni Andifundise Ngawo Ukuba Wamkele Umzimba Wam Nawuphi Ubungakanani

Umxholo

• Olo lonwabo lwathatha malunga nosuku
• Isifundo esinamandla sokuzithanda siqhelekile kubafazi abaninzi abanxibe ubuhlalu
• Kwinto enjalo elula, ubuhlalu besinqe bubambe kakhulu amandla

Sibandakanya iimveliso esicinga ukuba ziluncedo kubafundi bethu. Ukuba uthenga amakhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Nantsi inkqubo yethu.

Phantse kunyaka ophelileyo, ndayalela isibini sam sokuqala esinqeni ngeposi. "Uvuya" bekuya kuba yinto engaphantsi. Ngelo xesha, ndandingenalo nofifi lokuba bangaphela bendifundisa kangakanani - kodwa ngalo mzuzu, ndandiqinisekile ukuba umtya wamaso uza kundenza ndizive ndimhle ngakumbi.

Amaso esinqeni yinto yemveli yokufumana abafazi kwiinkcubeko ezininzi zaseAfrika. Zenziwe ngamaso eglasi ngentambo.

Ndiqale ukudibana nabo xa bendifunda phesheya eGhana, apho baluphawu lobufazi, ukukhula kunye nokuziphatha. Bahlala begcinwa babucala, kuphela kumaqabane akhethiweyo ukuba abone. Ezinye iinkcubeko zaseAfrika zidibanisa ubuhlalu besinqe kunye nokuzala, ukukhusela, kunye nezinye iintsingiselo.

Kwiminyaka kamva, ndafumanisa ukuba ubuhlalu besinqe babudumile eUnited States. Abafazi apha banxiba kubo ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi, kodwa ukuhomba yeyona nto ixhaphakileyo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, injongo yokuqala yamaso bubuhle. Zikwenza ume kwaye uzonwabise esipilini, amahips ngequbuliso azaliswe kukuthanda inkanuko.

Ukufika kwamaso esinqeni, ndikhawuleze ndawabopha esinqeni ndazincoma esipilini, ndashukuma ndadanisa ndaye ndema. Bavame ukuba nefuthe ebantwini. Ndabona ubuhle endandikade ndijonge phambili kubo.

Olo lonwabo lwathatha malunga nosuku

Emva kokuzinxiba ubusuku bonke, kuye kwafuneka ndiyivume: amaso am esinqeni amancinci kakhulu. Isisu sam besikhule ngandlela thile okoko bendilinganise ngocoselelo isinqe sam ngaphambi kokuthenga. Ngoku amaso am wemba kulusu lwam. Ndimunce isisu sam ndaziva ndiphoxekile.

Isizathu sesibini esiqhelekileyo sokuba abantu banxibe ubuhlalu besinqe kukulawula ubunzima. Iinjongo zokuba njengoko amaso esonga esinqeni sakhe, banokwazi ukuba isisu siyakhula, yiyo loo nto umntu angathatha amanyathelo okuzenza mncinci.

Kodwa bendingafuni ukuncipha. Ukuba ikhona into, bendifuna ukuyenza inzuzo ubunzima.

Amaso am aqengqeleka edlula esiswini sam, kwaye xa ndijonga isipili, ndiye ndaphawula ukuba isisu sam besiphumile. Ikwenza oko rhoqo. Bendihlala ndizonda xa ndibona isisu sam esipilini.

Ndisokola nokudakumba noxinzelelo, kwaye ukutya lelinye lamacandelo okuqala okuzikhathalela okuphela xa impilo yam yengqondo ibandezeleka.

Xa amaso esinqeni sam esiqina, ndaziva ndinomsindo wesisu sam esiphumileyo. Ukanti xa "zilungile," ngokucacileyo yayithetha ukuba bendingatyi ngokwaneleyo. Ubunzima bam buyehla benyuka rhoqo, kwaye bendisazi ukuba ukuphuma kwam isisu bekungeyona ngxaki yokwenyani apha.

Kwaye ke, kunokuba ndizame ukwenza isisu sam silingane amaso am esinqeni, ndathenga ikhonkco le-extender elindivumela ukuba ndilungelelanise ubuhlalu ukuze bulingane nesisu sam. Ndizifumana ndilungisa phantse yonke imihla, ngamanye amaxesha amaxesha amaninzi ngemini.

Xa amaso am evulekile, sisikhumbuzo sokuthamba sokuba kungenzeka ukuba bendikhe ndatya ukutya. Xa isisu sam sisanda- kulungile, ndandisa nje umtya kunye nam nangoku ndiziva ndimhle.

Endaweni yokuba nenzondo, ndikhule ndadibanisa amaso esinqeni aqinayo kunye nemvakalelo yokufezekisa. Ndizondle namhlanje. Ndihluthi ndondlekile.

Nokuba singakanani na isisu sam, ndiziva ndimhle xa ndijonga umzimba wam esipilini, kwaye konke kubulelwe kumaso - umbala wawo, indlela ahlala ngayo esinqeni sam, indlela andishukumisa ngayo, nendlela zindenza ndizive ngaphakathi.

Yilwe ngentsingiselo Ngokuka-Anita, umnini we-Bee Stop, le design ibizwa ngokuba yi "Ho'oponopono," okuthetha ukuthi "Enkosi, ndiyakuthanda, ndicela undixolele, kwaye ndiyaxolisa". Eli binzana lithathwa njengeliphilisayo xa kusithiwa kuthi okanye xa sibambe umntu engqondweni nasengqondweni yethu.

Isifundo esinamandla sokuzithanda siqhelekile kubafazi abaninzi abanxibe ubuhlalu

Ewe, ubuhlalu baziwa ngokulawula ubunzima. Kodwa ngakumbi nangakumbi, zisetyenziselwa imeko yomzimba endaweni yoko.

Omnye umculi weentsimbi kunye nomhlobo-womhlobo, u-Ebony Baylis, sele enxibe ubuhlalu besinqe phantse iminyaka emihlanu kwaye ebenza malunga nesithathu. Ukuqala kwakhe, wadibana nabantu abaninzi ababecinga ukuba ubuhlalu besinqe benzelwe abantu ababhityileyo okanye abantu abazama ukunciphisa umzimba.

“Kum, ukunxiba amaso esinqeni kwakungeyiyo eyomzimba wam. Ndibuthandile nje ubuhle kunye nemvakalelo yabo, utshilo uEbony. “Kodwa ndiye ndafunda ngabo ndibenzele bona. Kubo, iyabenza bazive be-sexy kwaye bekhululekile kulusu lwabo. Bayayithanda loo nto ukuba ayithintelwanga kwaye bangayitshintsha okanye bayikhuphe, xa kuthelekiswa nokuziva ukuba kufanelekile ukuba balingane ngesimbo esinye okanye ubungakanani obunye. "

Omnye umhlobo, uBunny Smith, unxibe amaso esinqeni ngaphezulu kweminyaka emihlanu. Wafumana isibini sokuqala emva kokuba ukuzithemba kwakhe kufikelele kwinqanaba eliphantsi.

Qho xa ndizijonga esipilini ndiziva ndimbi kwaye ndingonelanga. Iindawo zam ezincamathele ngaphandle okanye ezikhulu ziye zandenza ndafuna ukuzisika, utshilo.

“Usibali wam wandicebisa ukuba ndizame amaso esinqeni, kwaye ndandihlala ngakwimakethi yaseAfrika ngoko ke ndahamba ndayokuzithenga. Ngethuba lokuqala, ndiyithandile indlela ezazibonakala ngayo uthando lwam. Kwaye ndaziva ndonwabile, hayi kuba ndandisandula ukwehla emzimbeni (eyayikukuphela kwendlela ngaphambili) kodwa ngenxa yokuba ndawubona umzimba wam ngokukhanya okutsha, kanye ngendlela owawuyiyo. ”

UBianca Santini ebesenza amaso esinqeni ukusukela ngoSeptemba ka-2018. Wazenzela isibini sokuqala, ngokuyinxenye kuba abathengisi abaninzi babeza kuhlawulisa ngaphezulu koko kuthiwa yi-"plus-size" amaso.

Batshintshile ubomi bam. Ndiziva ndonwabile, ndiziva ndizithembile, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, ndiziva ndikhululekile, ”utshilo uBianca.

"Ndihlala ndithatha iifoto 'zokuzithanda' ukuzikhumbuza ukuba ndiyintombazana entle ye-AF kwaye kufuneka nditsho ukuba ubuhlalu besinqe bandile ukuba 'mna' ixesha libonakalisiwe. Banomzimba ngaphandle kwemizamo. Baye bandibeka ngomhlaba ngendlela endingazange ndiyazi ukuba ndiyayidinga. Into ethi indibuyisele embindini wam nakwisibeleko sam. ”

IBianca yenza ubuhlalu kubathengi abahlukeneyo. Abanye babo bazisebenzisa njengaye-ukwenza nzulu ulwalamano lwabo nemizimba yabo. Abanye nabo, ngokuqinisekileyo, basebenzise ukunciphisa umzimba. Ngayiphi na indlela, injongo yakhe kubugcisa iyafana.

“Amaso esinqeni am enzelwe ukuzithanda nokuziphilisa. Ndiyazidala kwaye ndibambelele kwezi njongo njengoko ndizenzayo, utshilo. “Nanini na xa ndiziva ndihamba imini yonke okanye xa ndisitya okanye xa ndiyokulala ndiyakhunjuzwa ngenjongo yam yokuzithanda nokuzikhathalela.”

“Xa ndizenzela abanye, nokuba zenzelwe ukuphawula ukutyeba, ndisabambelele kwinjongo enye ngexesha lokudala. Kungenxa yoko le nto abantu besiza kum ukuza kubenza ngoku, ukuze baphiliswe kwaye bakhuselwe. ”

Kwinto enjalo elula, ubuhlalu besinqe bubambe kakhulu amandla

Umzimba oguqukayo, ubungakanani, kunye nemilo iza nomhlaba wokuba ngumntu. Uyakubonakala umhle nangona kunjalo. Yiloo nto amaso esinqeni andifundise wona.

Ngengozi ndibhence isinqe sam esinqeni kutshanje, ke ndibabuyisele kumculi ukuba ayilungise (khwaza iBee Stop emangalisayo!). Ukuba i-bead-less ngaphezulu kweveki ngoku, ndiziva ndihle dong ze, ngathi yinxalenye yam ilahlekile.

Ndiyavuya ukuthi, nangona kunjalo, ukuba izifundo zamaso esinqeni azindishiyanga, nditsho nangaphandle kwamaso.

Umzimba wam mhle - xa isisu sam siphuma, xa isinqe sam sincinci kakhulu, kwaye naxa sikumbindi. Amaso esinqeni awenzi yenza Umzimba wam mhle. Zizikhumbuzo ezithandekayo, ezihlala zikho ukuba ndinguye.

UKim Wong-Shing ngumbhali eNew Orleans. Umsebenzi wakhe ubala ubuhle, impilo, ubudlelwane, inkcubeko ye pop, isazisi kunye nezinye izihloko. I-Bylines kwimpilo yamadoda, i-HelloGiggles, i-Elite yemihla ngemihla, kunye ne-GO Magazine. Ukhulele ePhiladelphia waya kwiYunivesithi yaseBrown. Iwebsite yakhe ithi kimwongshing.com.