Yeyiphi into uBomi obuQhelekileyo obuxelela abantwana baKhe

Umxholo

• Kutheni abantu abangcungcuthekisayo
• Ndithetha njani nabantwana bam malunga nokuxhaphaza

Andizingci ngento endiyenzileyo, kodwa ndizama ukufunda kwiimpazamo zam ukwenza izinto zibengcono kubantwana bam.

Sele ndiza kutyhila amathambo amakhulu e-closet yam: Khange ndigqithe nje kwinqanaba lesikrelemnqa njengomntwana - ndadlula kwinqanaba lokuxhaphaza, nam. Inguqulelo yam yokuxhaphaza yaphephetheka kanye ngaphaya "kwabantwana ukuba ngabantwana" kwaye ibe iyonke @ #! Umngxunya kubantu abahluphekileyo, abangalindelanga kwemiphefumlo ngaphandle kwesizathu.

Abantu endibakhethileyo yayihlala ingamathamsanqa kufutshane nam - usapho okanye abahlobo abalungileyo. Basekhona ebomini bam namhlanje, nokuba kungokunyanzelwa okanye ummangaliso omncinci. Ngamanye amaxesha bajonge ngasemva kuyo kwaye bahleke ngokungakholelwa, kuba kamva ndaba (kwaye ndisenjalo nanamhlanje) ndoyikeka kakhulu ebantwini kwaye ndingukumkanikazi ongalwiyo.

Kodwa andihleki '. Ndiyarhwaqela. Ndisongelwe ngokupheleleyo, ukunyaniseka.

Ndicinga malunga nexesha endabiza ngalo umhlobo wobuntwana phambi kweqela lokunxiba iimpahla ezifanayo usuku nosuku. Ndikhumbula ndisalatha uphawu lomntu wokuzalwa ukuze ndimenze azive ngalo. Ndikhumbula ndibalisa amabali ayoyikisayo kubamelwane abancinci ukuba baboyikise ukuze bangalali.

Okona kubi kuxa ndandisasaza amarhe okuba umhlobo wam uye exesheni kuye wonke umntu esikolweni. Ndingomnye kuphela owayibonayo isenzeka, kwaye kwakungafuneki ukuba igqithe koko.

Eyona nto yandenza ndangumjelasi kukuba ndandisoyika kakhulu ngamanye amaxesha, ngenxa yoko ndandifane ndibanjwe. Xa umama efumana la mabali, uyahluthwa njengam ngoku kuba khange aqonde ukuba kuyaqhubeka. Njengomama ngokwam, loo nxalenye iyandothusa.

Ke kutheni ndenza njalo? Kutheni ndimisa? Kwaye ndigcina njani abantwana bam bangangcungcuthekiswa-okanye bangcungcuthekiswe-njengokuba bekhula? Le yimibuzo endicinga ngayo rhoqo, kwaye ndilapha ukuyiphendula ngokwembono yomxhaphazi ohlaziyiweyo.

Kutheni abantu abangcungcuthekisayo

Kutheni, ke? Ukungazithembi, enye. Ukubiza umhlobo ukuba anxibe into enye nosuku nosuku… kulungile, mfo. Oku kuvela kwintombazana eyayinxibe uboya bayo bokhozi baseMelika de iingqiniba zanxiba zaza zadlula kwinqanaba elinzima lokungasebenzisi ishawa ukuze kugcinwe "ii-curls" ezazisisiqwengana sokwenene seenwele ezibanjwe zijel zicela nje ukuhlanjwa. Andizange ndibone.

Kodwa ngaphaya kokungazithembi, yayiyinxalenye enye yokuvavanya isiphithiphithi samanzi alishumi elinanye kwaye icandelo elinye likholelwa ukuba le yindlela amantombazana am ubudala aphathana ngayo. Kulonto, ndaziva ndifanelekile kuba bekukho abantu phaya ngaphandle abenza izinto ezimbi kakhulu.

Intombazana yayiyeyona nkokeli yeqela lethu lomhlobo kuba abanye babemoyika. Uloyiko = amandla. Ngaba yayingeyondlela esebenza ngayo yonke le nto? Kwaye ngaba amantombazana angabamelwane abadala ayengabhalwanga "LOSER" kwindlela yokuhamba ecaleni kwam ngaphandle kwendlu yam? Bendingayithathi lonto kude. Kodwa silapha, kwaye kwiminyaka engama-25 kamva, ndisaxolile ngezinto ezizizimumu endazenzayo.

Oko kundithatha ndayeka nini kwaye kwakutheni ukuze ndiyeke: indibaniselwano yokukhula okuhambelana namava. Andothusanga mntu, ndaphazamiseka xa amantombazana amadala endandicinga ukuba ngabahlobo bam andishiya. Kwaye abantu bayeka ukufuna ukuxhoma kunye nenkokeli yeqela lethu lomhlobo elingoyikiyo ngokuhamba kwexesha- kubandakanya nam.

Ndizibonele ngokwam ukuba hayi, yayingeyondlela leyo "indlela aphathwa ngayo amantombazana alingana nam." Hayi ukuba bazimisele ukubagcina njengabahlobo, kunjalo. Ukuba kwishumi elinesibini kwakunzima ngokwaneleyo… thina mantombazana kwakufuneka sibambene ngemiqolo.

Oko kusishiya nombuzo wokugqibela: Ndibagcina njani abantwana bam bangangcungcuthekiswa-okanye bangcungcuthekiswe-njengokuba bekhula?

Ndithetha njani nabantwana bam malunga nokuxhaphaza

Ah, ngoku eli candelo linzima. Ndizama ukukhokela ngokunyaniseka. Omncinci wam akakabikho, kodwa owam mdala mdala ngokwaneleyo ukuba aqonde. Ngapha koko, sele enesalathiso, enkosi kwimeko yokuma kwenkampu yasehlotyeni. Nokuba kwenzeka nini okanye kutheni, iyenzeka, kwaye ngumsebenzi wam ukumlungiselela. Yiyo loo nto sigcina incoko yosapho evulekileyo.

Ndiyamxelela ukuba bendingasoloko ndilungile ( * ukhohlokhohlo * understatement of the year) kwaye uzakudibana nabantwana abathi ngamanye amaxesha benzakalise abanye ukuze bazive bonwabile. Ndibaxelela ukuba kulula ukuthenga kwiindlela ezithile zokuziphatha ukuba ucinga ikwenza uphole okanye yenza izihlwele ezithile zikuthande ngakumbi.

Kodwa konke esinako yindlela esiphathana ngayo, kwaye ungumnikazi wezenzo zakho rhoqo. Nguwe kuphela onokuseta ithoni malunga nento oza kuyenza kwaye awuyi kuyenza. Into oyithandayo nongayi kuyamkela.

Andifuni ukukuxelela ukuba uluvo oluchasene nokuxhatshazwa luyaphila kwaye-kwaye kufanelekile. Kukho neziganeko ezigabadeleyo ezindabeni zabantu ezenza abanye baqiniseke ukuba abaxabisekanga kwaye abakufanelanga ukuphila. Andinakucinga ngokufaka okanye ukuhlala nolo loyiko, kwicala lomntu.

Kwaye masibe yinyani. Asinakuyivumela ukuba ifike kwelo nqanaba ukuze sithethe ngayo kwaye sihlangane ngokuchasene nayo. Kungenxa yokuba ukuxhaphaza akwenzeki nje ebaleni lokudlala okanye kwiiholo zesikolo esiphakamileyo kwenye indawo. Kwenzeka kwindawo yokusebenza. Phakathi kwamaqela abahlobo. Kwiintsapho. Kwi-Intanethi. Yonke indawo. Kwaye ngaphandle kweqela lomhlobo, ubudala, isini, ubuhlanga, inkolo, okanye nayiphi na enye into eyahlukileyo, sikule nto sikunye.

Singabantu nabazali abenza konke okusemandleni ethu, kwaye asifuni ukuba abantwana bethu macala omabini okuxhatshazwa. Okukhona sizisa ulwazi- kwaye kokukhona siya kuthi ngokudibeneyo sikulungele ukuthatha - kokukhona siya kuba ngcono.

UKate Brierley ngumbhali ophezulu, i-freelancer, kunye nomama ongumfana ongumama kaHenry no-Ollie. Umsindisi we-Rhode Island Press Association Award Award, ufumene isidanga se-bachelor kwi-journalism nakwi-master's kwithala leencwadi nakwizifundo zolwazi kwiDyunivesithi yaseRhode Island. Ungumthandi wokuhlangula izilwanyana zasekhaya, iintsuku zosapho lolwandle, kunye namanqaku abhalwe ngesandla.