Eyona nto ifana nokuhamba ngokudakumba okunzulu, okumnyama

Umxholo

• Iindlela ezi-3 endinokuchaza ngazo ukudakumba kumhlobo
  
• Ukutshintsha koxinzelelo olunzulu uye ekucingeni ukuzibulala
• Ukolula uncedo yayingumqondiso wokuba ndisafuna ukuphila
• Isicwangciso sam seNtlekele: Imisebenzi yokuNciphisa uxinzelelo
  

Ndacinga ukuba wonke umntu uneendlela zokuzibulala ngokuhamba kwexesha. Abenzi. Nantsi indlela endiye ndachacha ngayo kuxinzelelo olumnyama.

Sibona njani iimilo zehlabathi esizikhethele zona- kunye nokwabelana ngamava anyanzelisayo kunokubangela ukuba siphathane ngcono. Lo ngumbono onamandla.

Ekuqaleni kuka-Okthobha u-2017, ndazifumana ndihleli eofisini yam yengcali kwiseshoni engxamisekileyo.

Ucacisile ukuba bendidlula "kwisiqendu esikhulu soxinzelelo."

Ndikhe ndafumana iimvakalelo ezifanayo zokudakumba kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, kodwa azizange zibe nzulu ngolu hlobo.

Kwangoko kwi-2017, ixhala lam lalisele liqale ukuphazamisa ubomi bam bemihla ngemihla. Ke, okokuqala, bendifuna ugqirha.

Ukukhula eMidwest, unyango aluzange luxoxwe. Kwakungekho ndade ndisekhaya lam elitsha eLos Angeles kwaye ndadibana nabantu ababone i-Therapist apho ndagqiba kwelokuba ndizame ngokwam.

Ndibe nethamsanqa lokuba ne-Therapist esekwe xa ndangena kuloxinzelelo olunzulu.

Andizange ndicinge ukuba kufuneka ndifumane uncedo xa ndinokuvuka ebhedini kusasa.

Mhlawumbi ngekhe ndizame nokuzama, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ndiyazibuza ukuba ngekwenzeke ntoni kum ukuba khange ndifune uncedo lobungcali ngaphambi kwesiqendu sam.

Ndisoloko ndinodandatheko olungephi kunye noxinzelelo, kodwa impilo yam yengqondo yayinqabile ngokukhawuleza oko kuwa.

Kungandithatha kufutshane nemizuzu engama-30 ukuzikhulula ebhedini. Esona sizathu sokuba ndide ndiphakame yayikukuba kwakufuneka ndihambe nenja yam ndiye emsebenzini wam osisigxina.

Ndingakwazi ukuzirhuqa ndiye emsebenzini, kodwa khange ndikwazi ukugxila. Kukho amaxesha apho ingcinga yokuba seofisini ibinokusokolisa kangangokuba ndiye emotweni yam ndiphefumle kwaye ndizole.

Ngamanye amaxesha, ndandimane ndichwechwela kwigumbi lokuhlambela ndilile. Bendingazi nokuba ndikhala ngantoni, kodwa iinyembezi bezingayeki. Emva kwemizuzu elishumi okanye njalo, bendizicoca ndibuyele edesikeni yam.

Ndisaya kwenza yonke into eyenziwayo ukuze ndonwabise umphathi wam, kodwa ndaphelelwa ngumdla kuwo onke amaphulo endandisebenza kuwo, nangona ndandisebenza kwinkampani yam yokuphupha.

Intlantsi yam ibonakala ngathi iyabhabha.

Bendichitha usuku ngalunye ndibala iiyure de ndigoduke ndiye kulala ebhedini yam ndibukele "Abahlobo." Ndingathanda ukubukela iziqendu ezifanayo amaxesha ngamaxesha. Ezo ziqendu ziqhelekileyo zandizisela intuthuzelo, kwaye andikwazi nokucinga ngokubukela nantoni na entsha.

Khange ndiqhawule ngokupheleleyo ekuhlaleni okanye ndiyeke ukwenza izicwangciso nabahlobo ngendlela abantu abaninzi abalindele ngayo ukuba abantu abanoxinzelelo olukhulu benze. Ndicinga ukuba, ngokuyinxenye, kungenxa yokuba bendisoloko ndingumntu obalaseleyo.

Kodwa ngelixa ndisaqhubeka nokubonisa imisebenzi yentlalo okanye iziselo nabahlobo, ngekhe ndibekhona ngengqondo. Ndandihleka ngamaxesha afanelekileyo ndanqwala xa kufuneka, kodwa ndandingakwazi ukudibanisa.

Ndacinga ukuba ndidiniwe kwaye iza kugqitha kungekudala.

Iindlela ezi-3 endinokuchaza ngazo ukudakumba kumhlobo

• Ingathi ndinalo mngxuma unzulu wosizi esiswini sam endingenako ukuwususa.
• Ndibukele umhlaba uqhubeka, kwaye ndiyaqhubeka nokuhamba ndize ndityabeka uncumo ebusweni bam, kodwa emazantsi, ndibuhlungu kakhulu.
• Kuvakala ngathi kukho ubunzima obukhulu emagxeni am andinakukwazi ukuzikhulula, nokuba ndizama kangakanani.

Ukutshintsha koxinzelelo olunzulu uye ekucingeni ukuzibulala

Xa ndijonga ngasemva, utshintsho olwalumele ukuba lubonakalise kum ukuba kukho into engalunganga xa ndiqala ukuba neengcinga zokuzibulala.

Ndiziva ndidanile xa ndivuka ntsasa nganye, ndinqwenela ukuyiphelisa intlungu yam ndize ndilale ngonaphakade.

Andizange ndibe nesicwangciso sokuzibulala, kodwa ndandifuna nje ukuba iintlungu zam zengqondo ziphele. Ndingacinga ukuba ngubani onokuthi ayinyamekele inja yam ukuba ndingafa kwaye ndingachitha iiyure kuGoogle ndikhangela iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuzibulala.

Inxalenye yam icinga ukuba wonke umntu uyayenza le nto amaxesha ngamaxesha.

Iseshoni enye yonyango, ndazityand 'igila kunyangi wam.

Inxalenye yam yayilindele ukuba athi ukuba ndophukile kwaye wayengasandiboni.

Endaweni yoko, wabuza ezolile ukuba andinalicebo na, ndaza ndathi hayi. Ndamxelela ukuba ngaphandle kokuba kukho indlela yokuzibulala engenangqondo, andizubeka emngciphekweni wokusilela.

Ndandisoyika ukubakho kwengqondo engapheliyo okanye ukwenzakala komzimba kunokufa. Ndacinga ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo ukuba xa ndinikwa ipilisi eqinisekisa ukufa, ndiza kuyithatha.

Ngoku ndiyaqonda ukuba ezo ayizizo iingcinga eziqhelekileyo kwaye zazikhona iindlela zokunyanga imiba yempilo yam yengqondo.

Kulapho wachazayo ukuba bendidlula kwisiqendu esikhulu soxinzelelo.

Ukolula uncedo yayingumqondiso wokuba ndisafuna ukuphila

Undincede ndenza isicwangciso seengxaki esibandakanya uluhlu lwemisebenzi endincedayo ukuba ndiphumle kunye nenkxaso yam kwezentlalo.

Abaxhasi bam babandakanya umama notata, abahlobo abambalwa abasondeleyo, inombolo yokuzibulala, kunye neqela lenkxaso yendawo yoxinzelelo.

Isicwangciso sam seNtlekele: Imisebenzi yokuNciphisa uxinzelelo

• ukucamngca
• ukuphefumla nzulu
• yiya ejimini kwaye ungene kwi-elliptical okanye uye kwiklasi yokujikeleza
• mamela uluhlu lwam lokudlala oluquka iingoma zam endizithandayo ngalo lonke ixesha
• bhala
• thatha inja yam, uPetey, uhambe uhambo olude

Uye wandikhuthaza ukuba ndibelane ngeengcinga zam nabahlobo abambalwa e-LA nasekhaya ukuze bakwazi ukujonga kum phakathi kweeseshoni. Uye wathi ukuthetha ngayo kungandinceda ndizive ndindodwa.

Omnye wabahlobo bam abasenyongweni uphendule ngokugqibeleleyo ngokubuza, "Ndingenza ntoni ukunceda? Ingaba udinga ntoni?" Siye necebo lokuba andibhalele imiyalezo mihla le ukujonga nje kwaye ndinyaniseke nokuba ndiziva njani.

Kodwa xa inja yosapho lwam yasweleka kwaye ndafumanisa ukuba kufuneka nditshintshele kwi-inshurensi entsha yezempilo, oko kwakuthetha ukuba kungafuneka ndifumane ugqirha omtsha, yayininzi kakhulu.

Ndingayibetha indawo endophuka kuyo. Iingcinga zam zokuzibulala zasebenza. Ndaqala ngokwenene jonga iindlela endinokuxuba amayeza am ukwenza i-cocktail ebulalayo.

Emva kokuphazamiseka emsebenzini ngosuku olulandelayo, andikwazi ukucinga kakuhle. Ndandingasakhathali ngeemvakalelo zomnye umntu okanye impilo-ntle, kwaye ndandikholelwa ukuba abayikhathalele eyam. Andikhange ndikuqonde ncam ukunyaniseka kokufa okwangoku. Ndazi nje ukuba kufuneka ndilishiye eli hlabathi kunye nentlungu engapheliyo.

Ndikholelwe ngokwenyani ukuba ayizukulunga. Ngoku ndiyazi ukuba bendingalunganga.

Ndathatha usuku lonke, ndizimisele ukuqhubekeka nezicwangciso zam ngobo busuku.

Nangona kunjalo, umama wam wayefowuna kwaye engayeki de ndiphendule. Ndiye ndabuya ndayeka ndathatha ifown. Undibuze ephindaphinda ukuba ndibize i-Therapist yam. Ke, emva kokuba ndihambile emnxebeni kunye nomama, ndathumela umyalezo ngonyango wam ukuze ndibone ukuba ndingafumana idinga na ngaloo ngokuhlwa.

Ndingazi ngela xesha, kwakusekho inxenye encinci yam eyayifuna ukuphila kwaye ikholelwa ukuba ingandinceda ndiyiphumelele le nto.

Wenza njalo. Sichithe le mizuzu engama-45 sisiza nesicwangciso seenyanga ezimbalwa ezizayo. Undikhuthazile ukuba ndiphumle ndikhe ndijonge impilo yam.

Ndagqiba ndathatha unyaka wonke emsebenzini ndagoduka ndaya eWisconsin iiveki ezintathu. Ndiziva ngathi ndisilele ngokuyeka ukusebenza okwethutyana. Kodwa yayisesona sigqibo sihle endakha ndasenza.

Ndiqale ukubhala kwakhona, ukuthanda kwam ebendingenawo amandla engqondo okuwenza ixesha elithile.

Ndinqwenela ukuba ndingathi iingcinga ezimnyama zihambile kwaye ndonwabile. Kodwa iingcinga zokuzibulala zihlala zikhona rhoqo kunokuba ndifuna. Nangona kunjalo, kukho umlilo omncinci osatshayo ngaphakathi kwam.

Ukubhala kundigcina ndiqhubeka, kwaye ndivuka ndinenjongo. Ndisafunda indlela yokubakho emzimbeni nasengqondweni, kwaye asekhona amaxesha apho iintlungu ziye zinganyamezeleki.

Ndifunda ukuba oku kunokuba ngumlo wobomi beenyanga ezilungileyo kunye neenyanga ezimbi.

Kodwa ndilungile kuloo nto, kuba ndiyazi ukuba ndinabantu abaxhasayo kwikona yam ukuze bandincede ndiqhubeke nokulwa.

Ngendingazange ndiphumelele ukuwa kokugqibela ngaphandle kwabo, kwaye ndiyazi ukuba baya kundinceda ndiphumelele kwisiqendu sam esilandelayo sokudandatheka kwakhona.

Ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo ucinga ngokuzibulala, uncedo lukhona. Fikelela kwi Uthintelo lokuZibulala kuZwelonke ngo-800-273-8255.

UAllyson Byers ngumbhali ozimeleyo kunye nomhleli osekwe eLos Angeles othanda ukubhala malunga nayo nayiphi na into enxulumene nempilo. Ungabona ngakumbi ngomsebenzi wakhe e www.bashun.comkwaye ulandele kuye Imidiya yokuncokola.