Kutheni ndingayi ‘Ukoyisa’ Ixhala okanye ‘Yiya emfazweni’ ngoxinzelelo

Umxholo

• Ukujonga iipateni ezindala ngendlela entsha
• Ukufunda ukuyeka
• Ukubeka ukunikezela kwisenzo
• Shift ibali
• Ziqhelanise nendlela yesithathu
• Cela uncedo
• Uncedo lukhona phaya

Ndiva into efihlakeleyo isenzeka xa ndingenzi impilo yam yengqondo ilutshaba.

Ndiye ndamelana neelebhile zempilo yengqondo ixesha elide. Ebuncinaneni bam bokufikisa kunye nokuba mdala, andixelelanga mntu ukuba ndinamaxhala okanye uxinzelelo.

Ndizigcine kum. Ndakholelwa ekubeni ukuthetha ngayo kuyenza yomelele.

Uninzi lwamava am ngelo xesha kwakungumzabalazo, kwaye ndahamba kuwo ndedwa. Ndikuphephe ukuxilonga kwaye ndingabathembi oogqirha bengqondo. Oko konke kwaphela xa ndiba ngumama.

Xa ibindim nje, bendikwazi ukuncwina ndinyamezele. Ndandinokumhlophe ndisiya kwindlela yam yoxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo, kwaye akukho namnye owayelumkile kunaye. Kodwa unyana wam undibizile ngalo. Nditsho njengomntwana omncinci, ndabona indlela iimvakalelo zam ezifihlakeleyo ezichaphazela ngayo indlela aziphethe ngayo kunye nemvakalelo yokuba sempilweni.

Ukuba kubonakala ngathi ndipholile ngaphandle kodwa ndiziva ndinexhala ngaphantsi, unyana wam ubedlala. Xa abantu abadala abandingqongileyo bengakhange babone nto, unyana wam wabonisa ngezenzo zakhe ukuba uyazi ukuba ikhona into ekhoyo.

Oku kwakucaca ngakumbi xa sihamba.

Ukuba bendinalo ixhala lokulindela njengoko silungiselela ukubhabha ngenqwelomoya, unyana wam uya kuqala ukubetha ezindongeni. Zonke izakhono zakhe zokumamela zaphuma ngefestile. Wayebonakala efumana amandla angenabuntu.

Wajika waba yibhola yomqhaphu kumgca wokhuseleko, kwaye kwathatha yonke into endijolise kuyo ukuyigcina ingangqubeki kubantu abangabaziyo okanye ibethe isutikheyisi yomntu. Ukuqina bekuza kunyuka de ndikwazi ukuphefumla ukukhululeka esangweni lethu.

Xa ndihlala phantsi, wayezolile ngokugqibeleleyo.

Nje ukuba ndibone unxibelelwano phakathi kweemvakalelo zam kunye namaxesha akhe ngokwaneleyo ukuba kwakungaphaya kwamathandabuzo, ndaqala ukufikelela. Ndiqale ukuqonda ukuba andinakuyenza ndedwa, ukuba indenze umzali ongcono wokucela inkxaso.

Nangona ndandingafuni ukucela uncedo xa luza kum, yonke into yayihlukile xa isiza kunyana wam.

Okwangoku, xa ndifuna inkxaso yeempawu zoxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo, andisondeli kuyo njengomdlalo we-zero-sum.

Oko kukuthi, ayindim ngokuchasene nempilo yam yengqondo.

Ukujonga iipateni ezindala ngendlela entsha

Nangona umahluko unokubonakala ngathi zii-semantics, ndiziva ngathi kukho into ecekeceke eyenzekayo xa ndingenzi impilo yam yengqondo ilutshaba.

Endaweni yoko, ndicinga ngoxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo njengenxalenye yento endenza umntu. La mazwe ayinguye lo ndinguye kodwa amava afikayo ahamba.

Andilwi nabo kakhulu njengoko ndibabukele bephuma bephuma ebomini bam, njengomoya ovuthuzayo ungavusa ikhethini kwifestile. Ubukho babo bobethutyana, nokuba kuthatha ixesha elide ukudlula.

Akufuneki ndizive ngathi ndisemfazweni. Endaweni yokuba ndicinge ngala mazwe adlulayo njengendwendwe eziqhelekileyo, ezibenza bazive bengenabungozi ngakumbi.

Oku akuthethi ukuba andithathi manyathelo okuzikhathalela nokuphucula imeko yam yengqondo. Ngokuqinisekileyo ndiyayenza, kwaye ndifundile ukuba ndiyafuna. Kwangelo xesha, akukho mfuneko yokuba ndichithe amandla amaninzi ukuxhathisa, ukulungisa, kunye nokukhohlisa.

Ndiyakwazi ukubetha ibhalansi phakathi kokukhathalela nokuthatha uxanduva. Ukutyhala kude kwipateni enzulu kuthatha isixa esikhulu samandla. Ukuqaphela ukuba kufike ukutyelela kuthatha into eyahlukileyo.

Leyo yinto yokwamkelwa.

Ndifumana uvakalelo olunzulu lokuzikhumbuza ukuba andifanelanga "ukulungisa" imeko yam yengqondo. Aziphosakalanga okanye zimbi. Banjalo. Ngokwenza oku, ndiyakwazi ukukhetha ukungazichazi.

Endaweni yokuba, “Hayi, ndiziva ndinexhala kwakhona. Kutheni ndingakwazi ukuziva ndiqhelekile? Yintoni engalunganga ngam? " Ndingathi, “Umzimba wam ndiziva ndisoyika kwakhona. Ayisiyonto imnandi, kodwa ndiyazi ukuba izakudlula. ”

Ukuxhalaba kuhlala kuyimpendulo ezenzekelayo, kwaye andinolawulo olukhulu kuyo xa sele ibukhali. Xa ndilapho, ndingayilwa, ndibaleke kuyo, okanye ndinikezele kuyo.

Xa ndilwa, ndihlala ndifumanisa ukuba ndiyomeleza. Xa ndibaleka, ndifumanisa ukuba ndifumana isiqabu sexeshana kuphela.Kodwa kula maxesha anqabileyo xa ndinokuzinikezela ngokwenyani kwaye ndivumele ukuba kudlule kum, andikuniki gunya.

Ayinamandla kum.

Ukufunda ukuyeka

Ubutyebi obumangalisayo endibusebenzisileyo obufundisa le ndlela "yokunikezela" kuxinzelelo yi ILovePanicAttacks.com. Umseki nguGeert, indoda yaseBelgium eyafumana amaxhala kunye novalo kubomi bakhe bonke.

UGeert waya kwiinjongo zakhe zokuya ezantsi koxinzelelo, kwaye wabelana ngokufumanisileyo ngezifundo zakhe ezithobekileyo nezithobekileyo.

Ukusuka kutshintsho ekutyeni nasekucamngeni, uGeert wazama yonke into. Ngelixa engenguye ugqirha wezempilo oqinisekisiweyo, wabelana ngamava akhe anyanisekileyo njengomntu wokwenene ofuna ukuphila ubomi ngaphandle koloyiko. Ngenxa yokuba uhambo lwakhe luyinyani kwaye uqhelekile, ndifumene umbono wakhe uhlaziya.

Kwikhosi yinto ethile ebizwa ngokuba yindlela yetsunami. Umbono kukuba, ukuba uyazivumela ukuba unikezele, ngokungathi ubuya kuthabatheka ngumsinga omkhulu wamaza, unokuhamba ngokulula ngamaxhala kunokuba umelane nawo.

Emva kokuzama, ndincoma le ndlela njengombono owahlukileyo kukothuka kunye noxinzelelo. Kukhululekile kakhulu ukuqonda ukuba ungawuyeka umzabalazo ochasene noloyiko kwaye endaweni yoko uzivumele udade nayo.

Ithiyori efanayo inokuba yinyani kuxinzelelo, kodwa ijongeka yahlukile kancinci.

Xa ukudakumba kwenzeka, ndifumanisa ukuba kufuneka ndiqhubeke nokuqhubeka. Kuya kufuneka ndiqhubeke ndisebenza, ndiqhubeke nokwenza umsebenzi wam, ndiqhubeke nokukhathalela umntwana wam, ndiqhubeke nditya iiveggies zam. Kuya kufuneka ndizenze ezi zinto nangona kunokuba nzima ngokwenene.

Kodwa into ekungafuneki ndiyenze kukuzigweba ngenxa yokuziva ndinjalo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ndilwe nengqondo yam edwelisa zonke izizathu zokusilela kwam njengomntu kwaye ngenxa yoko ndifumana uxinzelelo.

Ngeli xesha ebomini bam, ndiqinisekile ukuba akukho mphefumlo emhlabeni ongazange uzive udandathekile ubuncinci kube kanye ebomini babo. Ndiyakholelwa nyani ukuba ukubonwa ngokupheleleyo kweemvakalelo kuyinxalenye yamava omntu.

Oko ayikukwenza ukukhanya koxinzelelo lweklinikhi. Ngokuqinisekileyo ndikhuthaza ukuba ukudakumba kunako kwaye kufanele kunyangwe ziingcali zempilo ezinelayisensi. Ezi zonyango zinokubonakala zihluke kakhulu kumntu omnye ukuya kwesinye.

Ndithetha ngokutshintsha kwendlela endidibana ngayo namava oxinzelelo. Ngapha koko, ukuyeka ukuxhathisa kwam ukuxilongwa kwandikhokelela ekufuneni uncedo kwasekuqaleni. Bendingasaziva ndisoyikiswa ngumbono wokubizwa ngegama.

Endaweni yokuvumela ezi mvakalelo ukuba zindichaze njengomntu, ndinokuthatha indawo yokuzijonga. Ndingathi, "Apha ndinamava omntu." Akuyomfuneko ukuba ndizigwebe.

Xa ndiyijonga ngale ndlela, andiziva ndingonwabanga, ndingaphantsi, okanye ndindodwa. Ndiziva ndixhumeke ngakumbi kuluntu. Olu lutshintsho olubaluleke kakhulu, kuba amava am amaninzi oxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo luvele kukuziva unqanyuliwe.

Ukubeka ukunikezela kwisenzo

Ukuba le mbono ivakala inomdla, kukho izinto ezimbalwa onokuthi uzame ukuyenza inyathelo.

Shift ibali

Endaweni yokusebenzisa amabinzana anje ngo "Ndinoxinzelelo," ungathi "Ndidandathekile."

Xa ndicinga ngo "kuba" noxinzelelo, ndicinga ukuba ndiyiphatha ndibeke ubhaka emqolo wam. Xa ndicinga ngokudibana nayo, ndiyakwazi ukubeka ubhaka phantsi. Kudlula nje. Ayitshayisi ukukhwela.

Ukuwisa nje loo nto unokuyenza umahluko omkhulu. Xa ndingazichongi iimpawu zam zempilo yengqondo, banobuncinci bokuzibamba kum.

Nangona ibonakala incinci, amagama anamandla amakhulu.

Ziqhelanise nendlela yesithathu

Ngokuzenzekelayo siqhutywa kukulwa okanye ukubhabha. Kungokwemvelo kuphela. Kodwa sinokukhetha enye indlela. Kukukwamkela oko.

Ukwamkela kunye nokunikezela kwahlukile ekubalekeni, kuba nasekubalekeni sisathatha inyathelo. Ukunikezela kuyasebenza kwaye kunzima kakhulu kuba, ubukhulu becala, kukungasebenzi. Ukunikezela kukuthatha intando yakho ngaphandle kokulingana.

Enye indlela yokwenza oku ngokwamkela uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo njengezimo zengqondo. Imeko yethu yengqondo ayisiyiyo le nto siyiyo, kwaye inokutshintsha.

Olu hlobo lokunikezela aluthethi ukuba siyancama size sirhubuluze sibuyele ebhedini. Kuthetha ukuba sinikezela ngemfuno yethu yokulungisa, ukwahluka kunathi, kwaye sinokwamkela ngokulula oko sihlangabezana nako ngoku.

Enye indlela ebonakalayo yokunikezela, ngakumbi xa unexhala, kukusebenzisa indlela yetsunami.

Cela uncedo

Ukucela uncedo yenye indlela yokunikezela. Yithathe kwi-knuckler emhlophe enamava owayedla ngokuphepha ukuba sesichengeni kuzo zonke iindleko.

Xa izinto ziba zininzi kakhulu, ngamanye amaxesha ukufikelela kuphela kwento ekufuneka uyenzile. Akukho mntu emhlabeni oluye kakhulu uncedo, kwaye kukho izigidi zeengcali, amavolontiya, kunye nabantu abaqhelekileyo abafuna ukukunika.

Emva kokuxhathisa ukufikelela kwiminyaka emininzi, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba nditshintshe icebo lam.

Xa ndenzile, umhlobo ngokwenene ndibulele ukufikelela kuye. Undixelele ukuba imenze waziva ngathi wenza into entle, ngokungathi unenjongo enkulu. Ndathuthuzeleka kukuva ukuba andikhange ndibengumthwalo, kwaye ndichulumancile kukuba wayeziva ukuba nam ndimncedile.

Ndabona ukuba ukuzibamba bekusigcina kunxibelelwano olusondeleyo. Nje ukuba ndibonakalise ubuthathaka bam, olo nxibelelwano lwenzeka ngokwendalo.

Xa sicela uncedo, ayisiyiyo kuphela ukuba siyazivumela ukuba sixhaswe, kodwa sikwangqina ubuntu babo sibavumelayo ukuba basincede. Yinkqubo evaliweyo evaliweyo.

Asinakuphila ngaphandle komnye nomnye, kwaye ukuveza ukuba sesichengeni kuyaphula imiqobo phakathi kwethu.

Uncedo lukhona phaya

Ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo usengxakini kwaye ucinga ngokuzibulala okanye ukuzenzakalisa, nceda ufune inkxaso:

• Tsalela umnxeba ku-911 okanye inombolo yakho yeenkonzo zoncedo olungxamisekileyo.
• Tsalela umnxeba iNational Lifeline Prevention Lifeline ku-800-273-8255.
• Thumela i-HOME kwi-Crisis Textline kwi-741741.
• Hayi eUnited States? Fumana umnxeba woncedo kwilizwe lakho kunye nabahlobo bakho kwihlabathi liphela.

Ngelixa ulinde uncedo ukuba lufike, hlala nabo kwaye ususe naziphi na izixhobo okanye izinto ezinokubangela ingozi.

Ukuba anikho kuloo ndlu inye, hlala emnxebeni kude kufike uncedo.

UCrystal Hoshaw ngumama, umbhali, kunye nengcali yeyoga yexesha elide. Ufundise kwizitudiyo zabucala, kwiindawo zokuzilolonga, nakuseto lomntu ngamnye eLos Angeles, Thailand naseSan Francisco Bay. Wabelana ngeendlela zokukhathazeka ngoxinzelelo ngezifundo ezikwi-Intanethi. Ungamfumana kwi-Instagram.