Isizathu esibalulekileyo sokuba ndikhulise intombi yam ukuba ibe yimbaleki (ayinanto yakwenza nokuqina komzimba)

Umxholo

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"Hamba ngokukhawuleza!" Intombi yam yakhala xa sifika balekaI-Disney Kids Dashes ngexesha le-Star Wars Rival Run Weekend kwiWalt Disney World eFlorida. Lugqatso lwesithathu lweDisney lwembaleki yam esakhasayo. Kwakhona uthatha i-gym, ukubhukuda, kunye neeklasi zokudanisa, ukhwele i-scooter (i-helmet, ngokuqinisekileyo) kwaye ujiwule i-racket ye-tennis ngelixa ekhwaza, "Ibhola!" Kwaye ngebhola ekhatywayo, uthetha ibhola ekhatywayo. P.S. Uneminyaka emibini ubudala.

Mama wengwe? Ingayiyo. Kodwa uphando lubonisa ukuba amantombazana athatha inxaxheba kwezemidlalo afumana amanqaku aphezulu, anokuzithemba okuphezulu, kunye namanqanaba asezantsi oxinzelelo. Kwakhona kunokwenzeka ukuba bangene kwizikhundla zobunkokeli kamva ebomini.

Ngelixa ukuthatha inxaxheba kwezemidlalo kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo kukwiqondo eliphezulu ngalo lonke ixesha, ngokophando olwenziwe yiNational Federation of State High School Associations, basala emva kwamakhwenkwe ngaphezulu kwesigidi esi-1,15 sabafundi. Kwangelo xesha, ukuthatha inxaxheba kwezemidlalo kulutsha olungaphantsi kweminyaka eli-12 kubonile ukwehla okuzinzileyo ukusukela ngo-2008, ngokwe-Sports & Fitness Industry Association. Kwaye iipesenti ezingama-70 zale mbaleki zincinci ziya kuyeka zineminyaka eli-13 ubudala, ngokwe-National Alliance for Sports. Ukuzithemba kwabasetyhini ngokulinganayo namakhwenkwe akwi-12-plummets kwiminyaka eyi-14.

Ubungqina bubonisa ukuba ukuveza amantombazana ekuthatheni umngcipheko kunye nokuseta ukungaphumeleli kunokuba yinto ephambili ekulweni umsantsa wokuzithemba. Imidlalo yindlela eqinisekileyo yomlilo yokufezekisa oko. "Imidlalo ilithuba elilungiselelweyo nelifumanekayo ngokulula lokufumana ilahleko, ukusilela kunye nokomelela," babhale ababhali kunye IKhowudi yokuzithemba yamantombazana UClaire Shipman, uKatty Kay, kunye noJillellyn Riley kwi IAtlantic.

Sele ndibone ukwahlukana ngokwesini kwinqanaba elincinci. Iindidi zentombi yam zokudada zihlala zingumxube wamakhwenkwe namantombazana; emva koko, ukuqubha bubuchule bobomi. Kodwa iklasi yakhe yomdaniso ingamantombazana kwaye iklasi yakhe yezemidlalo inamakhwenkwe amabini kwintombazana nganye. (Kwaye ewe, umdaniso wokhuphiswano ngu umdlalo kunye konke abadanisi ngabadlali.)

Kodwa ndibona nganye ixabiseke ngokulinganayo. Kumdaniso, ufundile iindlela ezintsha zokuhamba, ihashe ukugidima kunye nokuthwala ukuhamba ezantsi kweendlela zaseNew York City, kakhulu endothusayo. (I-sanitizer yesandla, STAT!) Ujete, uyachasa, kwaye ajikelezise, ​​hayi kuba "iyintombazana," kodwa ngenxa yokuba ukufunda isakhono esitsha kumnandi. Uye womelela kakhulu, ngokwasemzimbeni, kwinkqubo. Xa umyeni wam wamthabatha ukuze aye kubona iBallet yesiXeko saseNew York idlala kwindawo esondeleleneyo, ekumgangatho osezantsi kwiMyuziyam yoBugcisa bale mihla, wayemangalisiwe ngabadanisi ababekhefuzela eqongeni njengoko wayenjalo ngokudlala kwabo. Ngoku ucela ukubukela "i-purrinas" kumabonwakude kwaye enze ngathi iiflethi ze-ballet zakhe ziziisiliphu ze-ballet.

Kwiklasi yezemidlalo, ufunda umdlalo omtsha kunye nezakhono veki nganye, njengebhasikithi kunye nokubaleka, ibhola yebhola kunye nokuphosa, ibhola ekhatywayo kunye nokukhaba, kunye nokubaleka kwesiphekepheke, ukulandelelana kwetrampoline ngokulandelelana nokunye. Njengoko iiveki ziqhubekile, ndimbukele ezisa ezo zakhono ekhaya, ephosa yonke ibhola anokuyifumana kwaye eqhuba nayiphi na ibhola eza kubuyisa. Ufuna ukudlala ngerakhi yakhe yetenisi phantse yonke imihla. Umthetho wethu #1? Musa ukuyibetha inja. (Idibeneyo: Ndiyabulela Abazali Abandifundise Ukwamkela Ukuqina)

Nokuqubha? Uza kungena emanzini engancedi, afake intloko yakhe phantsi kwaye akhuphe ukukhwehlela nokumomotheka. Akoyiki. Ndiyathemba ukuba yimbaleki kuyakumnceda ahlale enjalo.

Ewe kunjalo, injongo yayo yonke loo misebenzi yomzimba ayikokumgcina usempilweni okanye ukumdinwa, nangona inceda bobabini. Uphando lubonisa ukuba umsebenzi womzimba uphucula ingqondo kunye nenkumbulo. Uqeqeshelwa ukuba ngumfundi ongcono, hayi iimbaleki ezingcono. Kwaye loo nto iguqulela kwithuba elikhulu lokuphumelela esikolweni. Iimbaleki zifumana amabakala angcono, zihamba isikolo ngakumbi, kwaye zinezinga eliphezulu lokuthweswa izidanga kunabangengabo abadlali, ngokutsho kweqela elikhulu lophando.

Kwintombazana, oko kubaluleke kakhulu kunangaphambili. Ukuba i-2018 "Unyaka woMfazi" wasifundisa nantoni na, yile: Kufuneka sixhobise kwaye sixhobise amantombazana ngayo yonke indlela esinokuyenza ngayo. Ukwabelana ngesondo kuyaphila kwaye molo, # MeToo-kwaye isilingi yeglasi siqinile. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kukho amadoda amaninzi agama linguJohn aqhuba iinkampani ze-S&P 1500 kunabafazi, ngokutsho INew York Times. Kwaye kuloo ngxelo ka-2015, ziipesenti ezi-4 kuphela zezo nkampani (ezimele iipesenti ezingama-90 zexabiso lemarike yaseMelika), eline-CEO yabasetyhini. Ngo-2018, iipesenti ezingama-4.6 zeenkampani ezingama-Fortune 500 zaziqhutywa ngabasetyhini. Eyona #facepalm enkulu.

Kodwa "uNyaka woMfazi" naye wakhwaza oku: asizukuphinda siyithathe. Singasokola ukufumana umvuzo ofanayo, ukulingana, kunye nentlonipho njengamadoda kumashishini amaninzi nakwiikona zoluntu. Kodwa abasetyhini abaninzi bayangena kwiindima zobunkokeli, njengabafazi abayi-102 bembali abahleli kwiNdlu yabaMeli kulo nyaka. Ngezihlalo zezindlu ezingama-435, sikhona phantse isiqingatha sokulingana.

Ukunika intombi yam-kunye nazo zonke iintombi zethu-isipho se-athletics yenye yeendlela zokufika apho. Uninzi lweepesenti ze-94 zeenkokheli zeshishini zabasetyhini kwizikhundla ze-C-Suite zinemvelaphi yezemidlalo, ngokophando olwenziwe yi-EY kunye ne-ESPNW.

Ngapha koko, ezemidlalo-kunye neminye imisebenzi yokhuphiswano, kakhulu-zifundise ukuzithiba, ubunkokeli, ukusebenzisana, ulawulo lwexesha, ukucinga nzulu, ukuzithemba, kunye nokunye. Njengokukhula kwendadi enokhuphiswano, ndafunda ukuba ukungaphumeleli kudla ngokuba linyathelo lokuqala lempumelelo. Kunyaka omnye, iqela lam lokubaleka lalingafanelekanga kwintlanganiso emva kokuba umlingane wethu eshiye ibhloko kwangoko. Besisoloko sisebenza kwindlela entsha yokutshintshiselana eyayiziva inzima kuthi sonke. Njengomntwana, i-DQ yayinzima ukuyiginya. Kwaba ngathi yinto enkulu. Ke sisebenze ngokungadinwayo ngokuziqhelanisa, sisonga utshintshiselwano lwethu de sibe sonke silungelelaniswa. Ekugqibeleni sathatha olo luhlu ukuya kutsho kubuntshatsheli base-Illinois, apho sabeka indawo yesihlanu kurhulumente.

Njengombhexeshi ophakathi, ndafunda ukuba kuthetha ukuthini ukuba iqela lisebenze njengomntu omnye ngokoqobo nangokomfuziselo. Sabheqa njengamntu mnye silwa njengamntu mnye. Xa iqela lam laziva ukuba ukuziphatha komqeqeshi wethu akuchasanga nje kuphela kodwa kukwabelana ngesondo, siye sabamba iqela intlanganiso kwaye sagqiba ekubeni sithethe. Wayekhwaza esithuka rhoqo. Ethandwa nguye? Ukulingisa "njengentombazana" njengesixhobo. Yasihlekisa. Njengokapteni, ndalungiselela intlanganiso kunye naye kunye nomphathi wenkqubo yokubheqa iinqanawa ukuze ndichaze izinto ezixhalabisa abasebenzi bam. Uzuko lwabo abazange banele nje ukuphulaphula; beva. Waba ngumqeqeshi ongcono kwaye saba liqela elingcono kwinkqubo. Ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-20 kamva, loo ngqondo nangoku Kutyhutyha intlalo yethu. Akumangalisi ukuba iphulo elihlala lihamba #LikeAGirl lihlangana nabafazi abaninzi.

Ngoku, ndiyimbaleki. "Mama baleka ngokukhawuleza," ithi intombi yam xa indibona ndibopha iintambo zokukhaba kwam. Ngamanye amaxesha uza kundiphathela iiteki zakhe aze akhwaze athi, "Ndiya khawuleza!" Uyakuthanda ukubaleka esihla ngendlela esecaleni kwendlela. "Khawuleza! Khawuleza!" Uyangxola njengokuba ebaleka. Ungaze uyikhumbule into yokuba akukho namnye kuthi okhawulezayo ngokukodwa. Ubaleka njengeMuppet, nanini na naphi na apho angakwazi khona. Kodwa xa silungisa umgca kwi balekaDisney Kids Dash, wandibamba. (Idibeneyo: Ndiyichitha iNjongo yam enkulu yokuSebenza njengoMama oneminyaka engama-40 ubudala)

"Ndikubamba!" watsho, ebonakalisa ukuba ndifuna ukumthwala. "Awufuni ukubaleka ngokukhawuleza?" Ndibuzile. "Kwimizuzu embalwa edlulileyo ububaleka kwaye ukhwaza, 'Hamba ngokukhawuleza!'

"Hayi, bamba wena," watsho kamnandi. Ndiye ndamthwala ngedash. Uncume ukusuka endlebeni kuye endlebeni njengoko sasigidima kunye; esalatha kwaye sincumile xa sisondela eMinnie Mouse ukuya esiphelweni. Uye wamanga u-Minnie (esathetha ngaye) kwaye nje ukuba ivolontiya lixhome imbasa entanyeni yakhe, wajika weza kum. "Yabona uMinnie kwakhona. Ndiyabaleka!" wakhwaza. "Kulungile, kodwa uzakubaleka ngeli xesha?" Ndibuzile. "Ewe!" wakhwaza. Ndiye ndambeka phantsi wabe emana ukuphuma.

Ndashukumisa intloko yam, ndihleka. Ewe andinako yenza intombi yam ibaleka okanye idada okanye idanisa okanye yenza nawuphi na umdlalo. Ekuphela kwento endinokuyenza kukumnika ithuba, kunye nokhuthazo nenkxaso. Ndiyazi ukuba kuya kuba nzima njengoko ekhula, njengoxinzelelo loontanga kunye nogwayimbo lokufikisa. Kodwa ndifuna ukumnika ithuba ngalinye lokubhonga. Ngumama wengwe lowo kum.

Xa ndijonga intombi yam, ngaba ndiyayibona i-CEO yexesha elizayo, i-congresswoman, okanye iimbaleki eziphambili? Ngokuqinisekileyo, kodwa akunjalo. Ndifuna ukuba abe nayo ukhetho, ukuba yiloo nto ayifunayo. Ukuba akukho nto yimbi, ndiyathemba ukuba uya kufunda ubomi obude bokuthanda intshukumo. Ndiyathemba ukuba uya kukhula omelele, azithembe, kwaye abe nakho, axhotyiswe ukuthatha isambatho sobufazi esilindele yena. Ndiyathemba ukuba uyakufunda ukwamkela ukusilela kwaye athethe inyani kumandla, nokuba ngumqeqeshi wakhe, umphathi okanye omnye umntu. Ndiyathemba ukuba uya kufumana inkuthazo ekubileleni, kodwa hayi kuba ndifuna afane nam.

Hayi ndifuna abengcono nangakumbi.

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