Ukubonakalisa okuphumeleleyo

Umxholo

• Uphengululo lwe

Njengomgqatswa woonobuhle ngexesha lam lobutsha kunye ne-cheerleader kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, andizange ndicinge ukuba ndiya kuba nengxaki yobunzima bomzimba. Nge-20s yam ephakathi, ndiyekile ekholejini, ndaba nabantwana ababini kwaye ndandisesona sisindo siphezulu seeponti ezingama-225. Usapho kunye nabahlobo baphawule, "Ukuba unokunciphisa umzimba, uya kuba mhle" okanye "Unobuso obuhle kangaka." La mazwi andenza ndaziva ndidandathekile, ngoko ndatya ngakumbi. Ndazama ukunciphisa umzimba ngokuzilambisa okanye ukujoyina amaqela okunciphisa umzimba, kodwa andizange ndiphumelele kwaye ndifake usizi lwam kwiibhokisi ze-cookie chip cookies. Ekugqibeleni ndayamkela into yokuba ndiza kuphila nomzimba wam otyebe kakhulu ubomi bam bonke.

Kamva kuloo nyaka, ndabuyela ekholejini ukuze ndifumane isidanga sam sokuba ngumongikazi. Ukuya esikolweni, kunye nokukhulisa abantwana ababini abangaphantsi kweminyaka emi-3, kwakunoxinzelelo olukhulu, ndaye ndagqibela ngokutya ngakumbi. Ndandisitya ukutya okukhawulezayo kuba kwakulula ukungena kubomi obuxakekileyo. Ndajoyina iklabhu yezempilo kangangeenyanga ezintathu, kodwa ndayeka kuba ndandixakekile. Ndithweswe isidanga kwisikolo sobugqirha kwiminyaka emithathu kamva ndisenobunzima obungama-225. Kwathi xa ndifika kwisikhundla sokuba ngumongikazi wentliziyo esibhedlele, ndalifezekisa iphupha lam, kodwa ndandikuthiyile ukubonakala kwam esipilini. Ndandiziva ndidandathekile yaye ngokufuthi ndandingayi kwiihambo zentsapho apho kwakufuneka ndinxibe iibhulukhwe ezimfutshane okanye iimpahla zokuqubha. Emva kokuba ndineminyaka engama-30 ubudala, ndazijonga esipilini ndazibona ndityebe kakhulu yaye ndingalawuleki. Ndiye ndaqonda ukuba kufuneka nditshintshe indlela enditya ngayo kunye nokuzilolonga ngokubaluleka.

Ndiqale ukuhamba imayile enye ndijikeleze indawo yam ngokuhlwa ngelixa umyeni wam ejonge abantwana. (Ukuba ebengafumaneki, abantwana bandijoyine kwizikeyiti zabo ezikwi-intanethi.) Kungekudala ndawunyusa umgama wam ndaya kwiimayile ezimbini ngosuku. Ndiye ndanciphisa amafutha endikutyayo ngokufaka imastard endaweni yemayonnaise, iyogathi ekhenkcezisiweyo ndifaka iayisi khrim, nesalsa yokudipha. Ndilungiselele uhlobo olusempilweni lokutya endikuthandayo. Xa ndisitya kwiivenkile zokutyela, ndenza ukhetho olusempilweni olufana neetapile ezibhakiweyo ezinxitywa ngaphandle kwamafutha endaweni "yemisebenzi," kunye nenkukhu eyojiweyo endaweni yenyama yenyama. Ndilahle iiponti ezili-10 kwiinyanga ezintandathu. Ndaqhubeka nokuzivocavoca rhoqo kwaye ndasuka kubukhulu be-18 ndaya kubukhulu be-8, injongo yam, emva konyaka.

Ekuqaleni, kwakunzima ngomyeni wam ukuqhelana notshintsho kwindlela esitya ngayo, kodwa xa wandibona ndinciphisa umzimba, wandithelela waza wayixhasa imigudu yam. Ulahlekelwe ngama-50 eeponti kwaye ukhangeleka emhle.

Kunyaka ophelileyo ndaye ndathatha inxaxheba kukhuphiswano lobuhle okokuqala ukusukela kwiminyaka yam yokufikisa. Ndiyenzele ukonwaba kwaye andilindelanga ukuba ndiphumelele okwesibini. Ukusukela ngoko, ndithathe inxaxheba kweminye imincintiswano emibini, kubandakanya noNksk. Tennessee USA, ukuphumelela imbaleki yesibini ngexesha ngalinye.

Ukuncipha kwam emzimbeni kundenze ndaziva ndibhetele ngam. Ixesha elincinci endilichitha kwindawo yokuzivocavoca veki nganye lifanelekile ngalo lonke ixesha xa ndibona lindenza ukuba ndibengumama nomntu ongcono.

Uphengululo lwe