Abasetyhini abayi-7 babelana ngeyona ngcebiso ibalaseleyo yokuzithanda abayifumene kubazali babo

Umxholo

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Xa kufikwa ekuphumeleleni iimfazwe zomfanekiso womzimba, sihlala sicinga ngoomama kumgca wangaphambili-ovakalayo kuba oomama bahlala bejongana nemicimbi efanayo yothando ojongana nayo. Kodwa kukho omnye umntu odla ngokuhlala ekhona, ekukhuthaza ukuba wenze konke okusemandleni akho kwaye akuthande ngale ndlela uyiyo: utata wakho.

Kule mihla, ootata-nokuba ngabokuzalwa, abamkelweyo, ngomtshato, okanye abo bathatha indima yokuba ngutata-babaluleke kakhulu kunakuqala kwiintombi zabo. Banefuthe elinamandla kwintombi yabo, ubudlelwane, kunye nokukhetha ubomi, ngokophando olwenziwe nguLinda Nielsen, Ph.D., unjingalwazi kwezengqondo nakwimfundo yokufikisa kwiYunivesithi yaseWake Forest kunye nombhali we Ubudlelwane boTata-Ntombi: uPhando lwangoku kunye neMicimbi. Umzekelo omnye? Abafazi kwezi ntsuku banamathuba amathathu okuba balandele katata indlela yomsebenzi. Kwaye ayipheli kwimisebenzi; Abasetyhini abanotata obandakanyekayo nabo abanamathuba okuba neengxaki zokutya, kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba benze ngcono esikolweni, utshilo uGqirha Nielsen.

Amadoda anembono eyahlukileyo-kwaye ngelixa singankqonkqozi iingcebiso zikaMama, ngamanye amaxesha olona khuthazo lunamandla, iingcebiso, okanye amagama okuphila ngokuvela kutata wakho. Ewe, ngamanye amaxesha amadoda anxibelelana ngokwahlukileyo, ke iingcebiso zawo zinokuza ngendlela engaqhelekanga, kodwa isenokuba yile nto kanye ufuna ukuyiva. Ukuze sibonakalise imbeko kuTata osele ekhulile othandekayo, sacela amabhinqa asibhozo ukuba abelane nabanye ngesiluleko awawafumanayo awanceda ukuba athande imizimba yawo, akhulise iziphiwo zawo, aze azive exabisekile.

Bona ubuhle ngaphantsi kwayo yonke enye into.

"Njengoko ndandikwishumi elivisayo ndandizama ukwenza izimonyo kwaye ndisakhumbula ndisehla ngezitebhisi kunye nendlela utata asabela ngayo. Wabonakala emangalisiwe waza wathi, 'Umhle kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni na, kodwa kutheni unxibe yonke loo peyinti? njengomama wakho-awudingi makeup ukuze umhle. ' Bobabini abazali bam babethelele intembelo yangaphakathi nangaphandle kum, kodwa utata wam uyamangalisa ngokuyenza ngendlela ebambekayo. "-Meghan S., eHouston

Chaza iitalente zakho kwaye ufumane ubizo ebomini.

“Xa ndandineminyaka eli-14 ubudala, utata wandikhwelisa ekhaya waza wandibuza enoba ndandikhe ndacinga kusini na ngento endandifuna ukuyenza ngobomi bam xa ndandikhulile. Ndathi andikayazi. ndibe ngumongikazi ogqwesileyo ngokusekwe kubume bam onovelwano, ubuntununtunu, kunye nengqondo ekhawulezayo.Amazwi akhe obubele andinceda ukuba ndizibone ngolo hlobo, kwaye ndagqiba kwangaloo mini ukuba ndilandele loo ndlela.Ndineminyaka engama-26 ndingumongikazi ngoku- umsebenzi endiwuthanda ngokupheleleyo-kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo sisizathu. "-Amy I., Arvada, CO

Sebenzisa into etshabalalisayo ukuze ubuye womelele.

"Utata ubesoloko engumxhasi wam omkhulu. Ukukhula wayendenza ndizive ngathi ndingenza nantoni na. Wandifundisa ukuba ndilandele ithuku nentliziyo yam kwaye ndihlale ndinyanisekile kwimilinganiselo yam. Esi sifundo saba luncedo xa ndiqhawula umtshato nomyeni wam. Kunyaka odlulileyo.Bendisazi ukuba ndenza into elungileyo, kodwa bendisoyika ukuba ndedwa kwaye ndinomama ongenaqabane.Xa ndixelela utata wam ngokwahlukana, bendinovalo, kodwa uphendule ngelithi uyandithanda, uhlala apha kum, kwaye uyazi ukuba ndinamandla ngokwaneleyo okwenza oku.-Tracy P., Lakeville, MN

Bafuna intlonipho njengembaleki kwaye njengomfazi.

"Utata wam wayengenguye othetha kakhulu kodwa wayehlala ejonge le nto ndiyenzayo. Kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, wabonisa kuwo wonke umdlalo wam we-volleyball kunye nemidlalo, kwaye ukuba ndakhe ndasilela kwinto ethile, endaweni yoko wayedla ngokundinceda ndifunde ukuba bhetele. Sasichitha iiyure ndiqhelisela ubuchule bam bebhola yevoli kwindawo engaphambili. Kwaye xa endicela ukuba ndidanise emitshatweni, wayedla ngokuthi, 'Ngenye imini a guy uya kuza kunye. Abaninzi kubo baya. Lowo uthanda kakhulu kuwe uya kudanisa ngokucotha ngokwenene kwaye uya kukutsalela kufutshane kwaye uya kunikela ingqalelo kuwe. Ukuba bahamba ngokukhawuleza kakhulu, uqhubela phambili."UChristie K., uShakopee, MN

Zibeke phambili ezakho iimfuno.

"Ngeempelaveki, sasisiya kwisikhululo seenqwelomoya apho utata wayethanda ukuhamba ngenqwelomoya eyona nto wayeyithanda kakhulu. Ndikhumbula indlela awayendithatha ngayo ndihambe ndiye kuphumla, sihambe ngenqwelomoya. Bendihlala ndizingca kakhulu ngokuba kunye naye.Bendihlala ndiziva ndamkelekile kwaye ndifunwa kwiihambo zakhe, njengomlingani wenene ongumlingani kunye nomlingane.Umzekelo wakhe undifundise ukuqinisekisa ukuba andilibali ukuzibeka kuqala ngamanye amaxesha kunye nokwenza indawo ebomini bam kwiimfuno zam."-Sarah T., Minneapolis

Zama okusemandleni akho kwaye waneliswe yiyo.

"Utata uhlala endikhuthaza nangaphaya kokudlula kwakhe kwiminyaka eyi-10 eyadlulayo. Wandifundisa ukuzixabisa nokuzithanda ngenxa yokuba wayendixabisile kwaye endithanda kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwenzekani. Wandifundisa ukuba ndizame konke okusemandleni am, kodwa ke ukuba kulungile ukuba egqibelele. Undifundise ukubona amandla am okwenyani kwaye ndingaze ndinikezele. Ndiyamkhumbula kakhulu, kodwa ndinombulelo kakhulu ngelifa lakhe lothando. "-Marianne F., eMartinsburg, WV

Yiba neqhayiya ngobuwena kunye nempumelelo yakho.

"Ebutsheni bam beminyaka engama-20 ndasuka kwintombazana encinci yedolophu ukuya kwibhinqa eliphumelelayo, elisebenza kumazwe ngamazwe. Umama akazange ayixhase into endiyenzayo. Ngokwenene waqala ukukhuphisana nam kwaye wayigxeka indlela endisebenza ngayo. Indlela awasabela ngayo yandenza ndacinga ukuba ndifanele ndicela uxolo ngokuphumelela kwam bendisafuna ubudlelwane nefamily yam ndinexhala lokuba ndenza into ewrong.. Ekugqibeleni ngenye imini utata wanditsalela ecaleni wandixelela indlela anebhongo ngayo kwaye ndingaze ndixolise kumama okanye nakubani na. -ngenxa yeempumelelo endizenzileyo."-UTheresa V., Reno, NV

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