Abantwana kunye nosizi

Abantwana basabela ngokwahlukileyo kunabantu abadala xa bejongana nokusweleka komntu omthandayo. Ukuthuthuzela umntwana wakho, funda iimpendulo eziqhelekileyo kwintlungu abanayo abantwana kunye neempawu xa umntwana wakho engahambelani kakuhle nentlungu.

Kuyanceda ukuqonda ukuba abantwana bacinga njani ngaphambi kokuba bathethe ngokufa. Kungenxa yokuba kuya kufuneka uthethe nabo ngalo mbandela kwinqanaba labo.

• Iintsana nabantwana abasakhulayo baya kwazi ukuba abantu balusizi. Kodwa abayi kuba nakho ukuqonda okwenyani ngokufa.
• Abantwana basezikolweni bacinga ukuba ukufa okwethutyana kwaye kuyabuyela. Banokubona ukufa njengokwahlukana nje.
• Abantwana abangaphezu kweminyaka emi-5 baqala ukuqonda ukuba ukufa kuhlala ngonaphakade. Kodwa bacinga ukuba ukufa yinto eyenzeka kwabanye, hayi kubo okanye kwiintsapho zabo.
• Ulutsha luyayiqonda into yokuba ukufa kukuyekisa ukusebenza komzimba kwaye kusisigxina.

Kuqhelekile ukuba buhlungu ngenxa yokuswelekelwa lilungu losapho okanye umhlobo osondeleyo. Lindela umntwana wakho ukuba abonise uluhlu lweemvakalelo kunye nokuziphatha okunokuvela ngamaxesha angalindelekanga, anje ngala:

• Usizi nokulila.
• Umsindo. Umntwana wakho angaqhuma ngumsindo, adlale kakubi, abe namaphupha amabi, okanye alwe namanye amalungu osapho. Qonda ukuba umntwana akaziva elawula.
• Ukubamba omncinci. Uninzi lwabantwana luza kuziphatha njengabancinci, ngakumbi emva kokusweleka komzali. Basenokufuna ukushukunyiswa, ukulala ngumntu omdala, okanye ukwala ukushiywa bodwa.
• Ukubuza umbuzo ofanayo kaninzi. Bayabuza kuba abakholwa ncam ukuba umntu abamthandayo uswelekile kwaye bazama ukwamkela okwenzekileyo.

Gcina oku kulandelayo engqondweni:

• Musa ukuxoka malunga nento eyenzekayo. Abantwana bakrelekrele. Bafumana ukunganyaniseki kwaye bayazibuza ukuba kutheni uxoka.
• Musa ukunyanzela abantwana aboyikayo ukuya emingcwabeni. Khangela ezinye iindlela zokuba abantwana bakho bakhumbule kwaye bahloniphe umfi. Umzekelo, unokukhanyisa ikhandlela, uthandaze, udadise ibhaluni esibhakabhakeni, okanye ujonge iifoto.
• Yazisa ootitshala bomntwana wakho ukuba kwenzeke ntoni ukuze umntwana afumane inkxaso esikolweni.
• Nika uthando oluninzi kunye nenkxaso kubantwana njengoko besentlungwini. Mababalise amabali abo bamamele. Le yindlela enye yokuba abantwana bajongane nentlungu.
• Nika abantwana ixesha lokuba buhlungu. Kuphephe ukuxelela abantwana ukuba babuyele kwimisebenzi yesiqhelo ngaphandle kwexesha lokuba buhlungu. Oku kunokubangela iingxaki zeemvakalelo kamva.
• Khathalela eyakho intlungu. Abantwana bakho bajonge kuwe ukuze baqonde indlela yokujongana nentlungu kunye nelahleko.

Buza uncedo lwezempilo lomntwana wakho ukuba ukhathazekile ngomntwana wakho. Abantwana banokuba neengxaki zangempela nosizi ukuba ngaba:

• Ukukhanyela ukuba umntu ubhubhile
• Uxinzelelo kwaye awunomdla kwimisebenzi
• Abadlali nabahlobo babo
• Ukwala ukuba wedwa
• Ukwala ukuya esikolweni okanye ukwehla kwendlela eqhuba ngayo esikolweni
• Ukubonisa utshintsho kumdla wokutya
• Unengxaki yokulala
• Ukuqhubeka nokusebenza omncinci ixesha elide
• Besithi bazokuzimanya nomntu ofileyo

IAmerican Academy yabantwana kunye naBafikisa kwiwebhusayithi yengqondo. Intlungu nabantwana. www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Grief-008.aspx. Ukuhlaziywa kukaJulayi 2018. Ifikeleleke ngo-Agasti 7, 2020.

UMcCabe ME, uSerintint JR. Ilahleko, ukwahlukana, kunye nentlungu yokufelwa. Ku: Kliegman RM, St Geme JW, Blum NJ, Shah SS, Tasker RC, Wilson KM, ii-eds. Incwadi kaNelson yeNcwadi yePediatrics. Umhla wama-21. IPhiladelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2020: isahluko 30.

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