Ukunceda umntu omthandayo onengxaki yokusela

Ukuba ucinga ukuba umntu omthandayo unengxaki yokusela, unokufuna ukunceda kodwa ungazi ukuba njani. Awunakuqiniseka ukuba yingxaki yokusela. Okanye, unokoyika ukuba umntu omthandayo uya kuba nomsindo okanye acaphuke xa uthetha into.

Ukuba unomdla, musa ukulinda ukuzisa.Ingxaki inokuba mandundu, ingangcono, ukuba ulindile.

Iingxaki zokusela azilinganiswa ngokwexabiso lomntu aselwayo okanye ukuba usela kangaphi. Okona kubalulekileyo kukuba ukusela kubuchaphazela njani ubomi bomntu. Umntu omthandayo unokuba nengxaki yokusela ukuba:

• Rhoqo usela ngaphezu kokuba bebezimisele
• Ayikwazi ukunciphisa ukusela
• Chitha ixesha elininzi usela utywala, usela utywala, okanye uphinde uchache kwiziphumo zotywala
• Unengxaki emsebenzini, ekhaya, okanye esikolweni ngenxa yokusebenzisa utywala
• Unengxaki kubudlelwane ngenxa yokusela
• Uphose umsebenzi obalulekileyo, isikolo, okanye imisebenzi yasekuhlaleni ngenxa yokusebenzisa utywala

Qala ngokufunda konke onakho malunga nokusetyenziswa kotywala. Unokufunda iincwadi, ujonge kwi-Intanethi, okanye ubuze ulwazi kumboneleli wakho wezempilo. Okukhona uyazi, ulwazi oluthe kratya uya kuba ukulungele ukunceda umntu omthandayo.

Ukusetyenziswa kotywala kuthatha umthwalo kubo bonke abantu. Awunakho ukunceda umntu omthandayo ukuba awukhathaleli wena kwaye ufumane inkxaso.

• Yenza impilo kunye nokhuseleko losapho lwakho ibe yeyona nto iphambili kuwe.
• Cela inkxaso kwamanye amalungu osapho okanye abahlobo. Nyaniseka ngeemvakalelo zakho kwaye ubaxelele into abanokuyenza ukukunceda.
• Cinga ngokujoyina iqela elixhasa usapho kunye nabahlobo babantu abaneengxaki zotywala, ezinje ngeAl-Anon. Kula maqela, ungathetha ngokungafihlisiyo ngemizabalazo yakho kwaye ufunde ebantwini abebekwimeko okuyo.
• Cinga ngokufuna uncedo kumcebisi okanye kunyangi ojongana neengxaki zotywala. Nangona umntu omthandayo esela, ukusela kuchaphazela lonke usapho.

Akululanga ukuzibandakanya nomntu onengxaki yokusela. Kuthatha umonde kunye nothando. Kuya kufuneka usete imida ethile yezenzo zakho ukuze ungakhuthazi indlela aziphethe ngayo umntu okanye uyivumele ichaphazele.

• Musa ukuxoka okanye wenze izizathu zokusela umntu omthandayo.
• Musa ukuthatha uxanduva kumntu wakho omthandayo. Oku kuya kumnceda kuphela umntu ukuba aphephe iziphumo zokungazenzi izinto ebefanele ukuzenza.
• Musa ukusela nomntu omthandayo.
• Musa ukuphikisana xa umntu omthandayo esela.
• Musa ukuziva unetyala. Akukhange usisele umntu wakho omthandayo isiselo, kwaye awunakukwazi ukusilawula.

Akululanga, kodwa kubalulekile ukuthetha nomntu omthandayo malunga nokusela. Fumana ixesha lokuthetha xa umntu engaseli.

Ezi ngcebiso zinokunceda ukwenza ukuba incoko ihambe ngokutyibilikayo:

• Veza iimvakalelo zakho malunga nokusela kothandekayo wakho. Zama ukusebenzisa iingxelo zika "Ndi". Oku kunceda ukugcina ugxininiso kwindlela ukusela kukuchaphazela ngayo.
• Zama ukunamathela kwiinyani malunga nokusetyenziswa kotywala kothandekayo wakho, ezinje ngeendlela ezithile zokuziphatha ezikwenze wakhathazeka.
• Chaza ukuba unenkxalabo ngempilo yomntu omthandayo.
• Zama ukungasebenzisi iilebheli ezinje "ngotywala" xa uthetha ngengxaki.
• Musa ukushumayela okanye ukufundisa.
• Ungazami ukusebenzisa ityala okanye ukunyoba umntu ukuba ayeke ukusela.
• Musa ukugrogrisa okanye ukubongoza.
• Musa ukulindela ukuba umntu omthandayo abe ngcono ngaphandle koncedo.
• Cela ukuhamba nalo mntu ukuya kugqirha okanye kumcebisi ngeziyobisi.

Khumbula, awunakunyanzela umntu omthandayo ukuba afumane uncedo, kodwa unganikezela ngenkxaso yakho.

Kungathatha imizamo embalwa kunye neencoko ezininzi ngaphambi kokuba umntu omthandayo avume ukufumana uncedo. Zininzi iindawo zokufumana uncedo kwingxaki yotywala. Ungaqala ngomboneleli wakho wosapho. Umboneleli unokucebisa ngenkqubo yonyango okanye ingcali. Ungajonga nesibhedlele sakho, isicwangciso seinshurensi, okanye inkqubo yoncedo lwabasebenzi (EAP).

Kunganyanzeleka ukuba "ungenelelo" nomntu wakho omthandayo kunye nabanye abantu ababalulekileyo ebomini babo. Oku kuhlala kukhokelwa ngumcebisi obandakanyeka kwinkqubo yonyango.

Ungadlala indima ebalulekileyo ngokuqhubeka nokubonisa inkxaso yakho. Nikezela ngokuhamba nomntu wakho omthandayo ukuya kugqirha okanye kwiintlanganiso. Buza ukuba yintoni enye onokuyenza, njengokungaseli xa nikunye kunye nokugcina utywala ngaphandle kwekhaya.

Ukuba uziva ukuba ubudlelwane bakho nalo mntu buba yingozi okanye busoyikisa impilo yakho, zifunele uncedo kwangoko. Thetha nomboneleli wakho okanye umcebisi.

Utywala - ukunceda umntu omthandayo; Ukusetyenziswa kotywala-ukunceda umntu omthandayo

UCarvalho AF, uHeilig M, uPerez A, uProbst C, uRehm J. Utywala ekusebenziseni utywala. ILancet. Ngo-2019; 394 (10200): 781-792. IINKCUKACHA: 31478502 pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31478502/.

O'Connor PG. Ukuphazamiseka ekusebenziseni utywala. Ku: IGoldman L, iSchafer AI, ii-eds. Amayeza eGoldman-Cecil. Ngomhla wama-26. IPhiladelphia, PA: Elsevier; 2020: isahluko 30.

Umsebenzi we-US Preventive Services Task Force; UCurry SJ, uKrist AH, et al. Ukuvavanywa kunye nokuziphatha ngokucebisa ekunciphiseni ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kotywala kubantu abakwishumi elivisayo nakubantu abadala: INgxelo yeNcomelo yeeNkonzo zoThintelo lwe-US. JAMA. 2018; 320 (18): 1899-1909. IINKCUKACHA: 30422199 pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30422199/.

• Ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kotywala (AUD)