Konke malunga nokuKhulisa uMzali

Umxholo

• Ukuba ngumzali akuyonto ilinganayo
• Kukuthini ukuba ngumzali okuqhotyoshelweyo?
• Imigaqo esisiseko yokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali
• Umtshato wokuzalwa
• Ukuncancisa
• Indawo yethu: IFed yeyona ilungileyo
• Unxibe umntwana
• Ukwabelana ngebhedi
• Indawo yethu: Ukhuseleko kuqala
• Ukukholelwa ekukhaleni komntwana
• Ibhalansi kunye nemida
• Ukuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali kwiintsana (ukuzalwa ukuya kwiminyaka 1)
• Ukuzalwa
• Iinyanga ezi-0 ukuya kwezi-12
• Uncamathiselo lwabazali kubantwana abancinci
• Iinkqubo zokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali
• Bendlela yokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali
• Ukuthatha

Sibandakanya iimveliso esicinga ukuba ziluncedo kubafundi bethu. Ukuba uthenga amakhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Nantsi inkqubo yethu.

Ukusukela oko ubeka amehlo kumntwana wakho omtsha, kukho utshintsho kwinjongo yobomi bakho. Ngenye imini ishedyuli yakho yempelaveki izele zizele kukuhamba wedwa okumnandi, ukuzikhathalela, kunye nemihla, kunye nolandelayo, awonwabanga uhlala kwiibhulukhwe zeyoga ngelixa ubathandana ngothando kwi-coo yakho entsha. (Inqaku elisecaleni: Khumbula ukuqhubeka ukukhathalela, nawe!)

Emva kweeveki zokuqala ezingacacanga (okanye iinyanga) zokungalali ebusuku, ukuqhuma kwemihlathi, kunye neeseshoni zokondla-iwotshi, ekugqibeleni unokuba uza ngumoya ukuze uthathe isigqibo sokuba uza kuthini supermom (okanye superdad) oku Into yokuba ngumzali ngesitayile esilingana neenkolelo zakho kunye nosapho olunamandla.

Ukuba ngumzali akuyonto ilinganayo

Ngelixa unokuziva uxinzelelo olukhulu ukukhetha Nye isimbo, inyani ethuthuzelayo yile: Ngomzuzwana, uba ngumzali, kodwa isenzo sobuzali luhambo oluyinyani. Ukufumanisa ukuba yeyiphi indlela yobuzali ofuna ukuyithatha kungathatha ixesha ukuyifumana.

Kwakhona, akukho ndlela-inye yokulinganisa yonke indlela. Uhlobo lwakho lokuba ngumzali lunokutshintsha ngokusekwe kwiimfuno eziguqukayo zentsapho yakho.

Siza kujonga kufilosofi yokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali, kodwa uzive unamandla okwenza eyakho yeyakho Isitayela somzali esihla kwaye sihamba. Gcina ukhumbula ukuba sigxininisa ekwenziweni kweenkqubo ezisekwe kubungqina ezikhuthaza impilo kunye nokukhuseleka kwekratshi kunye novuyo lwakho.

Kukuthini ukuba ngumzali okuqhotyoshelweyo?

Ukuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali yifilosofi yanamhlanje yokuba ngumzali esekwe kwithiyori yokuncamathisela, neyayenziwe ngumsebenzi woochwephesha bengqondo babantwana ababini. Le ithiyori exhaswa ngophando isekwe kwinto yokuba unxibelelwano lomzali kunye nokuphendula kwiimfuno zomntwana wakhe zinesiphumo esingagungqiyo kwimpilo yeemvakalelo yosana lwabo kunye nobudlelwane.

Ukuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali kuthatha la manyathelo ambalwa. Igxininisa ekwakheni amaqhina omzimba nawabantwana kubazali ngokusebenzisa "izixhobo" ezikhethiweyo. Ezi zixhobo zenzelwe ukukhuthaza uvelwano oluphezulu, ukuphendula kunye nokuthinta umzimba.

Inkolelo kukuba le ndlela iya kukhulisa ukuzithemba komzali nomntwana. Kungenxa yokuba umzali ufunda ngokuchonga ngokufanelekileyo kwaye aphendule imiqondiso yosana lwakhe, kwaye umntwana uziva eqinisekisiwe ukuba iimfuno zabo ziyafezekiswa.

Imigaqo esisiseko yokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali

Ngelixa wonke umzali onothando ejonge ukumamela, ukwahlula phakathi kwezitayile zomzali konke ku "njani." Apha ngezantsi, sigubungela izixhobo ezisisiseko zokwenza izixhobo (ezibizwa ngokuba yi "Baby B's") ezikhokela ukuba ngumzali okuncamathiselwe.

Njengoko ufunda ezi, qaphela ukuba unokuchonga ngesixhobo esinye kodwa hayi esinye. Kwaye ukuba kukho isixhobo ongonwabanga ngaso - njengoko ezinye zingangqinelani ngokupheleleyo neengcebiso zangoku zeAmerican Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) - sikukhuthaza ngamandla ukuba uthethe nomntwana wakho malunga noku ukuqinisekisa ukhuseleko lomntwana wakho.

Umtshato wokuzalwa

Ukuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali kujonga ubudlelwane bokuqala phakathi koomama / ootata kunye nosana kwangoko emva kokuzalwa- ukuya kuthi ga kwiiveki zokuqala ezi-6- njengenyathelo elibalulekileyo ekwenziweni kokuncamathiselwa komzali nomntwana ixesha elide.

Le ndlela ikhuthaza ukunxibelelana kolusu nolusu kunye nokumanyana okungagungqiyo phakathi komzali nomntwana ngenqanaba eliphezulu lokondla kweentsana kumama ngakumbi, kusetyenziswa izixhobo ezixoxwe ngezantsi.

Ukuncancisa

Ngokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali, ukuncancisa kuthathwa njengeyona ndlela ibalulekileyo yokukhulisa impilo kunye nokuthuthuzela umntwana wakho. Ikhuthaza ukuthintwa komzimba kunye namathuba okuphendula kwindlala yomntwana wakho. Ukuncancisa kukwabangela ukuba umzimba kamama ukhuphe iihormoni ezinokuthi zikhulise iimvakalelo zokuba ngumama.

Indawo yethu: IFed yeyona ilungileyo

I-Mamas, sive phandle: Siyazi ukuba ukuncancisa kunokuba kukudinwa ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemzimbeni. Kukho amaxesha apho oomama abatsha bafuna ukuncancisa kodwa bengenako ezininzi Izizathu ezifanelekileyo, kunye nabanye oomama abakhetha ukungancancisi ngezizathu ezizizo, nabo.

Ngelixa isayensi kunye nokuncamathisela isitayile somzali inkxaso, umthombo wosana lwakho lokondla kunye nokuhlangana komama nomntwana kunokuchuma ngezinye iindlela zokondla. Ukuncancisa lukhetho lomntu onokuqhutywa yinto ekuvumela wena kunye nosana lwakho Zombini chuma.

Unxibe umntwana

Ukhe wabona lonke uhlobo lokusonga, isilingi, kwaye unayo - yintoni ke le nto ikuthandayo ukunxiba usana? Ngefilosofi yokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali, ukunxiba umntwana kukhuthaza ukusondelelana ngokomzimba kunye nokuthembana phakathi kosana kunye nomgcini wabo. Ngelixa banxibe, abantwana banokufunda ngokukhuselekileyo ngendawo esingqongileyo, kwaye abazali banokufunda ngokubhekisele kwiintsana zabo ngokusondela ngolo hlobo.

Ukwabelana ngebhedi

Oku kunokuba sesona siphikisayo kwizixhobo zokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali. Kule ndlela, ukwabelana ngebhedi kucingelwa ukuba kunciphisa uxinzelelo lokwahlulahlula umntwana ebusuku kwaye kwenza ukuncancisa ebusuku kube lula kumama.

Nangona kunjalo, kukho umzimba owomeleleyo wophando uqaphela imingcipheko emikhulu ebandakanyekileyo ekulaleni kunye, kubandakanya ngesiquphe ukusweleka kweentsana (i-SIDS), ukufuthaniseka, ukuncitshiswa kweoksijini, kunye nokubanjwa kumaqweqwe okanye ngokungacetywanga kubanjiswe ngumongi xa ulele.

Indawo yethu: Ukhuseleko kuqala

Ngokungqubana neengcebiso zokwabelana ngebhedi malunga nokuba ngumzali okuncamathiselwe, iZikhokelo zokulala eziKhuselekileyo ezikhutshwe yiAmerican Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) zincomela ukulala kwigumbi elinye nosana lwakho ubuncinci iinyanga ezi-6 ukuya kunyaka omnye, kodwa ngokulala okwahlukileyo imiphezulu. Ngapha koko, i-AAP ithi igumbiUkwabelana kunokunciphisa umngcipheko we-SIDS ngama-50 ekhulwini (kodwa ibhedi-ukwabelana kungayonyusa).

Iziphakamiso ezongezelelweyo zokulala ngokukhuselekileyo ezivela kwi-AAP ziquka:

• ukubeka umntwana wakho ukuba alale ngomqolo kwindawo eqinileyo
• ukusebenzisa amashiti alungeleleneyo kwisikhwanyana esingenabhedi, iingubo, iithoyi okanye imiqamelo
• ukukhusela usana lwakho ekutshayeni, etywaleni nakwiziyobisi ezingekho mthethweni
• ukubonelela nge-pacifier ngexesha lokulala kunye nexesha lokulala (le nayo iyangqubana neengcebiso zomzali zokuncamathisela, ethi imeko ye-pacifiers inokuphazamisa ukuncancisa)

Ukukholelwa ekukhaleni komntwana

Kuqhotyoshelweyo lokuba ngumzali, ukukhala komntwana kujongwa njengendlela yabo yokunxibelelana nesidingo - kungekhona njengendlela yokuphatha. Ukuncamathisela abazali bayakhawuleza ukuphendula ngobunono kuko konke ukukhala kwabantwana babo ukukhuthaza ukuthembela kwabanonopheli babantwana kwaye bafunde indlela yonxibelelwano yosana lwabo.

Ibhalansi kunye nemida

Ukuba ngumzali kungafaniswa nokuba yinkokeli yesekisi. Umzuzu omnye uneendlovu ezihamba ngokulandelelana, kwaye kwisibini esahluliweyo, ziyanyibilika kwisiphithiphithi esinyulu samandongomane.

Ke umba wokulinganisela ulindelo olunzima lokuhlangabezana neepesenti ezili-100 zexesha, ngakumbi kwiintsuku zokuqala zokuba ngumntwana (nakulo lonke ixesha lokudodobala ngokweemvakalelo). Kungenxa yokuba uhlala uzama ukufumana ulungelelwaniso olutsha phakathi kokuhlangabezana neemfuno eziguqukayo zosana lwakho, wena, iqabane lakho, nabo bonke obunye ubudlelwane kunye noxanduva. Ukuhlaziya imeko yakho? Inzulu.

Kwinqanaba layo, ukunamathisela ukuba ngumzali kukhuthaza ukulungelelanisa umntwana wakho, wena kunye neemfuno zabanye kwindawo yakho yentsapho. Ingena ekufumaneni iindlela zokuphendula ngokuzolileyo nangokufanelekileyo (ewe okanye hayi) kwaye ucele noncedo xa ulufuna (yep - ayonto ilula, nokuba).

Ukuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali kwiintsana (ukuzalwa ukuya kwiminyaka 1)

Ngokuchasene nokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali, ezinye iindlela ezisekwe kwishedyuli zithatha indlela "yoqeqesho lwabantwana". Ungayibona le ndlela kwiindlela "zokukhala" ezenza inkululeko engakumbi yomzali osana kunye neeshedyuli ezingqongqo zokondla nokulala.

Kokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali, nangona kunjalo, ukukhala kweentsana kubonwa njengesixhobo sonxibelelwano, esivumela i umntwana ukukhokela ezi mfuno kunokuba umzali aziqinisekise.

Uya kuwubona lo mxholo kule mizekelo ilandelayo yokuba zeziphi iindlela zokuncamathela kubuzali ezinokubonakala ngathi zinokuzalwa ukususela kwiminyaka yobudala.

Ukuzalwa

• Ukuqhagamshelana nolusu nolusu kunye nokunxibelelana emzimbeni phakathi kukamama nomntwana kuqala kwangoko emva kokuzalwa.
• Ukuncancisa kuqala kwangoko emva kokubeleka.
• Umama notata babamba umntwana wabo omtsha rhoqo.
• Abazali baqala ukumamela ukukhala kwabantwana babo kunye neempawu zabo zokufunda imikhwa, ubushushu, kunye neemfuno.
• Umama umisela ukuncancisa kunye neshedyuli yokufunwa efunekayo.
• Iipacifiers zithintelwe ukuthomalalisa kunye nokuncancisa kunikezelwa endaweni yoko.

Iinyanga ezi-0 ukuya kwezi-12

• Abazali babamba kwaye banxibe usana rhoqo kunye nomphathi ophethe umntwana okhuselekileyo.
• Umama uvumela umntwana aqonde ngqo xa kwenzeka ukondla, ukukhuthaza ukuncancisa rhoqo.
• Abazali baphendula ukukhala kosana ngokukhawuleza kwaye bazinyamekele zonke iimfuno ngobuntununtunu.
• Abazali bafunda indlela yokuziphatha komntwana, inkangeleko yobuso, kunye neepateni ukwakha ulwazi lwendalo malunga nempilo yosana, ubushushu, kunye neemfuno.
• Ukulala komzali nomntwana (kwakhona, oku akukhuthazwa yi-AAP) okanye ukulala kwigumbi elinye (oku kuyacetyiswa yi-AAP).
• Indlela yabazali igxininisa uvelwano malunga nokugqabhuka komntwana okanye iimvakalelo ezingalunganga.
• Iipacifiers zisathintelwa.

Uncamathiselo lwabazali kubantwana abancinci

Ukuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali kubantwana abancinci kuhamba ngemigaqo efanayo yomzali nomntwana. Kodwa izixhobo ziyatshintsha njengotshintsho lomntwana kule nqanaba lokuzimela (kunye nengxolo) yophuhliso.

Isitayile sisakhokelwa kakhulu ngumntwana, kwaye kuyacetyiswa ukugcina ixesha elivulekileyo lokulunyulwa kwezixhobo, kubandakanya nezo zinxulumene nokulala kunye nokuncancisa, ngokusekwe kwiimpawu zokulungela komntwana.

Uhlobo lokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali kubuntwana obuncinci luya kujongeka ngokwahlukileyo kusapho ngalunye. Nangona kunjalo, Nazi ezinye iindlela ngokubanzi ezinokuthi imigaqo-nkqubo isondele kunye nomntwana wakho omncinci.

• Ukuncancisa kunokuqhubeka kunye nobudala obudala be-1 kunye nokuncancisa kancinci njengoko kuyalelwe ziimpawu zomntwana.
• Izikhokelo zovelwano lwabazali eziphendula kwiimfuno zomntwana.
• Abazali bayakuqinisekisa (kwaye musa ukubrusha okanye ukuthethisa) iimvakalelo ezingalunganga zomntwana (uloyiko, umsindo, kunye nokudana) ezinokuthi zibotshelelwe kukuziphatha okungathandekiyo (ukulila, umsindo, ukuphosa, kunye nokubetha).
• Ukulala kunye kuyaqhubeka de kukhokelwe kukulungela komntwana ukulala ngokuzimeleyo.
• Abazali bakhuthaza ukubamba kunye nabathwali abasakhasayo, ukubamba, kunye nokusondela emzimbeni.
• Abazali bavumela umntwana ukuba azimele kwaye enze izigqibo xa ekhuselekile kwaye kufanelekile.
• Uqeqesho lwenziwa ngesikhokelo esifanelekileyo kunye nokuqiniswa okuqinisekileyo endaweni yokohlwaya ngokungqongqo okanye ngokuqatha.

Iinkqubo zokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali

Olona ncedo luxhaswayo luxhaswa ngophando lokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali kunokunxulunyaniswa nokuncancisa kunye nezo zininzi zonyango eziqinisekisiweyo, isondlo, ukukhula kunye nezibonelelo ze-neuromotor. Ngokomgaqo-nkqubo we-AAP opapashwe ngo-2012, ukuncancisa kuyacetyiswa kuphela ukuya kuthi ga kwiinyanga ezi-6 kwaye kuyaqhubeka ngokuqina ukuya kuthi ga kunyaka omnye okanye nangaphezulu.

Ukongeza, isibonelelo esinye esimangalisayo sale ndlela yokuba ngumzali yachazwa kuhlalutyo lwe-2019 meta. Ibonakalise ukuba abantwana abanabazali abahambelana nabo kwaye bahoye iimfuno zabo zemvakalelo nezomzimba bangaphezulu kwamathuba aphindwe kabini okuphuhlisa izakhono zolwimi ezingcono kunabantwana abangakhange bafumane olu hlobo.

Ukufunda isakhono sokulawulwa kweemvakalelo kunokuba yenye pro yokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali. Eli nqaku lika-2010 laqukumbela ukuba iintsana zivezwe isitayela sokuphendula kakhulu njengomzali zikhala kancinci, zibonisa uxinzelelo olungephi. Ngaphezu, iintsana ezindala kunye nabantwana abaphenjelelwa ngumzali ophendulayo babonwa ukuba bazilawule ngcono iimvakalelo ezinje ngokoyika, umsindo, kunye noxinzelelo.

Kananjalo, oku kunciphisa ukubonakaliswa koxinzelelo, okunokuthi kuchaphazele ukukhula kwengqondo kunye nokukwazi ukumelana noxinzelelo kamva ebomini.

Bendlela yokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali

Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kwaye inokuba yingozi kakhulu yokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali kujikeleze ekwabelaneni ngebhedi. Njengoko sixoxile, umngcipheko wokufuthaniseleka kwaye i-SIDS iphezulu ngokulala kunye kunokuba kunjalo ekwabelaneni igumbi, isenzo apho umntwana abekwa kwindawo eyahlukileyo nekhuselekileyo yokulala kwigumbi elinye.

Kwaye ngelixa iziphumo zingabhalwanga kuphando oluninzi, ukumiliselwa kwezixhobo zokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali kunokuba nzima ngokwasemzimbeni nangokweemvakalelo kumzali (ngokwesiko, umama oncelisayo) okanye umkhathaleli ophambili.

Ukuncancisa okufunwayo kunye nokusondelelana okungagungqiyo emzimbeni kugxininiswe kule ndlela kunokunciphisa umda kumama wokuseka iipateni zakhe zokulala ezisempilweni, ukubuyela emsebenzini, okanye nokugcina inqanaba elifanayo lokusondelana neqabane lakhe (ubuncinci ixesha elithile). Ke ngoko, zonke izixhobo zokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali zisenokungahambi kakuhle nobomi beentsapho ezithile.

Ukuthatha

Ukuzisa umntwana omtsha ebomini bakho kunokuligungqisa ilizwe lakho ngeendlela ezininzi. Kwaye siyazi ukuba umama unetyala liyinyani, ke xa usondela kwisitayile somzali, funda uninzi ukuze ufunde izicwangciso ezihambelana neenkolelo zakho, ubomi, iinjongo kunye nosapho olunamandla.

Kubonakala ngathi lolona nyanzelo lwexesha elide lokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali kukwakha isitayela sokuphendula njengomzali esiqhubeka nokuhlangabezana neemfuno zomzimba kunye neemvakalelo zomntwana wakho ngendlela ethe tye novelwano.

Kwaye ngelixa izibonelelo zokuncancisa zisaziwa, sisigqibo esizimeleyo somama ngamnye omtsha. Eyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu, lumka ngokulala kunye. Sincoma ukuxoxa ngezikhokelo zokulala ngokukhuselekileyo kunye nodokotela wabantwana ngaphambi kokusebenzisa esi sixhobo sokubakhulisa.

Ukuba unomdla wokufunda ngakumbi malunga nokuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali, nazi iincwadi ezimbalwa oza kuzijonga.

• Ukuncamathisela ukuba ngumzali: uKhathalelo lweMvelo loMntwana wakho noMntwana oMncinci nguKatie Allison Granju kunye noBetsy Kennedy

• Ngaphandle kweSling: Isikhokelo soBomi boBomi ekuKhuliseni ukuzithemba, ukuBathanda abantwana iNdlela yokuKhulisa uMzali nguMayim Bialik

• Ukuncamathisela kule mihla ukuba ngumzali: Isikhokelo esiBanzi sokuKhulisa uMntwana oKhuselekileyo nguJamie Grumet