Umahluko phakathi kokuthanda umntu kunye nokuthandana nabo

Umxholo

• Kunjani ukuba sothandweni
• Uziva uhlawulisiwe kwaye uyonwabile ngokubangqongileyo
• Awunakulinda ukubabona kwakhona-nokuba sele bemkile
• Yonke into iziva imnandi kwaye intsha
• Uhlala usenza ixesha labo
• Awunangxaki nokuzincama ngenxa yabo
• Unesondo esimnandi
• Uzilungelelanisa
• Kunjani ukuthanda iqabane
• Ukhuselekile kumsa wabo
• Awusiva isidingo sokubamba uluvo lwakho
• Uyabona (kwaye wamkele) okuhle ngaphandle kokulungileyo
• Ukusondelelana kunokufuna umgudu ongaphezulu
• Ubudlelwane buthatha umsebenzi ongaphezulu
• Uziva unxibelelene ngokunzulu
• Ngaba enye ingcono kunomnye?
• Ngaba ungabuyela ekuthandaneni nomntu?
• Umgca wezantsi

Uthando lwezithandani yinjongo ephambili yabantu abaninzi. Nokuba ukhe wathandana ngaphambili okanye awukathandani okokuqala, unokucinga ngolu thando njengeyona nto iphambili kumava ezothando - mhlawumbi nkqu ubomi amava.

Ukuthandana nomntu othile kunokuba nemincili, kwaye kuyonwabisa. Kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha, ezi mvakalelo zinokuhlala into evakalelwa ngokwahlukileyo kancinci. Olu thando lunokubonakala ngathi luthambile okanye luzolile. Ungazifumana ucinga ukuba "ndiyabathanda" endaweni yokuba "ndiyabathanda."

Olu tshintsho aluthethi ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo kubudlelwane bakho.

Ukuthanda umntu endaweni yokuziva u "thandana" nabo kubonisa nje ukuba iimvakalelo zothando ziguquka njani phakathi kobudlelwane, ngakumbi ubudlelwane bexesha elide.

Kunjani ukuba sothandweni

Ukuba nothando ngokubanzi kubhekisa kwezo mvakalelo zinamandla zithatha indawo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane.

Oku kubandakanya:

• intabatheko
• ulonwabo
• uchulumanco kunye novalo
• umdla wesondo kunye nenkanuko

Nantsi le mvakalelo inokubonakala ngathi isebenza.

Uziva uhlawulisiwe kwaye uyonwabile ngokubangqongileyo

Ingangabonakali ngathi injalo, kodwa ukuba semathandweni yinkqubo yesayensi. Ukuwa eluthandweni kubandakanya iihormoni ezininzi, ezinokuthi zigqithise iimvakalelo zakho kwaye zibenze ziguquke ngokungalawulekiyo.

Xa ujikeleze umntu omthandayo, ukwanda kwe-dopamine kunye ne-norepinephrin kukhokelela kwiimvakalelo ze:

• uyolo
• giddiness
• uchulumanco
• imincili

Ukwehla kwe-serotonin kunokubangela iimvakalelo zokuthabatheka.

Iihormone zesondo, ezinje nge testosterone kunye ne-estrogen, nazo zidlala indima ekwandiseni i-libido kwaye zikhokelele kwiimvakalelo zenkanuko.

Ezinye iihormone eziphambili, ezinje nge-oxytocin kunye ne-vasopressin, zinceda ukuqinisa umtsalane wakho ngokukhuthaza ukuthembana, uvelwano, kunye nezinye izinto ezinokuncamathisela ixesha elide.

Awunakulinda ukubabona kwakhona-nokuba sele bemkile

Nokuba uchitha usuku lonke kunye neqabane lakho, uziva ulilolo xa behamba. Uyazibuza ukuba benza ntoni nokuba bacinga ngawe. Mhlawumbi sele unezicwangciso zokudibana ngosuku olulandelayo, kodwa usazibuza ukuba uza kulawula njani ude ubabone kwakhona.

Oku kuqhelekile xa uthandana. Kwaye nangona ngokuqinisekileyo kusempilweni ukuchitha ixesha ukude nomnye, oko akuthethi ukuba uyakonwabela ukwenza njalo.

Ukuba awukwazi ukuyeka ukucinga ngabo naxa nithe nahlukana, kunokwenzeka ukuba wonwabele ulonwabo olubuhlungu lokuthandana.

Yonke into iziva imnandi kwaye intsha

Ukuthandana kunokutshintsha indlela ozibona ngayo izinto. Nokuba izinto zemihla ngemihla ezinje ngokuya kwivenkile yokutya zinokuba mnandi ngakumbi.

Unokujonga ezinye izinto ngamehlo amatsha. Abantu abaninzi abathandanayo baziva bekulungele ngakumbi ukuzama izinto ezintsha, okanye izinto ebebengazikhathalelanga ngaphambili, kuba amaqabane abo ayazonwabela.

Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuzama izinto ezintsha. Ngapha koko, ukuvuleleka kumava amatsha luphawu olukhulu ekufuneka unalo. Kodwa kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba uzive ushukuxwa yiminqweno yeqabane, ke qiniseka ukuba awuziva unyanzelekile ukuba uhambe nezinto ongafuniyo ukuzenza.

Uhlala usenza ixesha labo

Ngokwesiqhelo, ukuthandana nomntu kuthetha ukuba ufuna ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nabo kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Nokuba uxakekile, mhlawumbi unokuzibona uhlela ishedyuli yakho ukuze ubone iqabane lakho.

Oku kunokubandakanya umnqweno wokwazi ngakumbi ngabo ngokujonga umdla wabo. Xa uthando luhlangene, baya kuziva ngendlela efanayo malunga nawe kwaye bafuna ukuchitha ixesha elininzi lokwazi eyakho umdla.

Konke oku kuqhelekile. Kuqhelekile, nangona kunjalo, kubantu abathandanayo ukuba "balibale" ngokufutshane malunga nabahlobo babo.

Zama ukukhumbula ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo bakho, nawe, endaweni yokuvumela uthando lukutshabalalise.

Awunangxaki nokuzincama ngenxa yabo

Kukhawuleziso lokuqala lokuba sothandweni, unokuziva uzinikele ngokupheleleyo kwiqabane lakho, ukulungele ukwenza nantoni na nayo yonke into ukubanceda kwindawo enzima okanye nokwenza ubomi babo bube lula kancinci.

Uvelwano kunye nokuncamathisela kwakho okukhula ngokukhawuleza kunokubangela ukuba umnqweno wakho ubekhona kwaye ubancede nangona kunokwenzeka. Kodwa iihormoni ezibandakanyeka eluthandweni ngamanye amaxesha zinokuchaphazela indlela owenza ngayo izigqibo.

Ukuba uziva unomdla wokwenza into eza kuthi incothule neengcambu ngokupheleleyo okanye ibutshintshe kakhulu ubomi bakho, zithathe ixesha uyicingisise.

Emva kokucinga, usenokufuna ukuyeka umsebenzi kwaye uhambe neqabane lakho uye kwelinye ilizwe. Kodwa qiniseka ukuba ufuna ukuyenzela ngokwakho, kananjalo.

Amadini angayinxalenye yalo naluphi na uhlobo lothando. Ngapha koko, amaqabane asebenza ukulungiselela iimfuno zabanye banokuba nolwalamano olomeleleyo. Kodwa abantu abathandanayo banotyekelo lokuhlawulisa phambili kwaye banike uncedo ngaphandle kokucinga kabini.

Unesondo esimnandi

Ukwabelana ngesondo akufuneki ukuba yinxalenye yobudlelwane bezothando. Kodwa xa iyiyo, inokudlala indima enkulu ekuthandeni umntu.

Ubungakanani behomoni ebandakanyekayo inokuchaphazela ukuqhuba kwakho ngokwesondo, ukonyusa umnqweno wakho kwiqabane lakho kunye nokuthanda kwakho xa usabelana ngesondo.

Xa uqala ukuthandana, isondo sinokukunceda ukwandisa ukusondela kwiqabane lakho. Ikhemistri enkulu yesini inokukwenza uzive ulungile ngesondo kwaye wandise umnqweno wokuhlala unayo. Ukufuna ukuphonononga umdla wesini esinye nesinye ngesiqhelo akulimazi, nokuba.

Uzilungelelanisa

Ukuba sothandweni kungenza kube lula ukulungelelanisa ezona mpawu zintle zomlingane wakho (ubuchule obukhulu bokumamela, italente yomculo, uncumo olufudumeleyo) kunye nokuhombisa ngaphezulu kwezinto ezintle (ayibuyisi imibhalo kwangoko, udlala ngothando nabahlobo bakho).

Yinto eqhelekileyo ukugxila kwelona cala lilungileyo lomntu xa uthandana. Kodwa kubalulekile ukujonga iiflegi ezibomvu okanye ukungahambelani kobudlelwane.

Ukuba abahlobo bakho bakukhomba izinto, qaphela into abazokuyithetha. Abathandani neqabane lakho, ke banembono ecacileyo kwaye banokuqaphela izinto oziphosileyo.

Kunjani ukuthanda iqabane

Uthando luthatha iifom ezininzi, kwaye lunokutshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ezi zezinye zeendlela iimvakalelo zakho ezinokuthi zitshintshe xa ulithanda iqabane lakho kodwa ungaziva phakathi thanda nabo.

Ukhuselekile kumsa wabo

Xa uqala ukuthandana, ngekhe ulungiselele iqabane lakho kuphela kodwa ufuna ukubonakalisa uhlobo lwakho olulungiselelwe wena.

Unokwenza, umzekelo, uhlala uzama ukubonakala umhle. Okanye mhlawumbi uzama ukufihla into okholelwa ukuba ziziphene ezinokulicima iqabane lakho.

Kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha, njengoko ulwalamano lwakho lusomelela, unokuziva ukhululeke ngakumbi ukuba nguwe. Awukhathazeki bazokulahla xa ushiya izitya esinkini okanye ulibale ukukhupha inkunkuma. Uyamkela ukuba nobabini niyakuhlala ndivuka nomphefumlo wakusasa.

Oku akuthethi ukuba awenzi mzamo wokugcina olu thando kwaye uluncede luphumelele. Ithetha nje ukuba utshintshele kwimbono yokwenyani endaweni yeenguqulelo ezilungiselelwe enye kwenye.

Awusiva isidingo sokubamba uluvo lwakho

Ukuba uthandana nomntu othile, kulula ukuthatha izimvo zakhe njengezakho. Ngamanye amaxesha unokungayazi ngokupheleleyo le nto.

Ungakufumanisa kulula ukwabelana ngokukhululekileyo ngeemvakalelo zakho neqabane lakho olithandayo kwaye uzive ukhululekile kulo. Uthando luhlala ludlulisa imvakalelo yokuziva ukhuselekile, ke awunakuziva ngathi ufuna ukuzifihla iimvakalelo zakho okanye izimvo zakho ukukhusela ubudlelwane.

Kwanaxa kukho ukungavisisani okuncinci, uyazi ukuba ninokuthetha ngako.

Uyabona (kwaye wamkele) okuhle ngaphandle kokulungileyo

Iqabane lakho, njengawe, ngumntu ongafezekanga. Banempawu ezintle, ewe, ekunokwenzeka ukuba zikuncede ukuba uthandane nabo. Kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba banemiba ethile yobuntu okanye imikhwa ongayifumani kakhulu.

Kwanezinto ezazibonakala zithandeka xa uqala ukuthandana, ezinje ngendlela abahlamba ngayo amazinyo kwisitena sasekhitshini, zinokuba yinto oyincwinayo kwaye uwaqhale amehlo.

Ukuthanda umntu kufuna ukuba ubabone ngokupheleleyo kwaye wamkele onke amalungu abo, njengoko benibona kwaye benamkela nonke. Iimpazamo ezincinci zihlala zingabalulekanga kwixesha elide.

Kodwa xa into ikukhathaza, uya kuziva ukhululekile ngokwaneleyo ukuba ungathetha ngayo kwaye usebenze ukukhuthaza nokuxhasana ngokukhula komntu.

Oku akubandakanyi iiflegi ezibomvu okanye iimpawu zokuxhatshazwa. Soloko ufikelela kwingcali ukuba uxhatshazo lukhona.

Ukusondelelana kunokufuna umgudu ongaphezulu

Xa uthandana ngokungathandabuzekiyo neqabane lakho, mhlawumbi ubusabelana ngesondo ngalo lonke ixesha. Njengoko ubudlelwane bakho buzinza, ngokuqinisekileyo usabelana ngesondo, kodwa mhlawumbi amaxesha ngamaxesha okanye ungabinamandla kangako.

Ukuqala kwakho ukulala ungalalanga ngesondo, okanye ukuchitha ubusuku wedwa, kunokubonakala ngathi ulahlekelwe yinto. Unganexhala lokuba ubudlelwane abuphumeleli.

Kodwa amaxesha amaninzi oku kuthetha kuphela ukuba iimfuno zobomi zenze ukuba kube yimfuneko ukucwangcisa ixesha neqabane lakho.Umsebenzi wesondo unokwenzeka ngokufuthi, kodwa umgudu owenzayo ekunxibelelaneni ngokusondeleyo unokwenza loo maxesha angcono.

Ubudlelwane buthatha umsebenzi ongaphezulu

Kulula ukunika ubudlelwane konke xa uyintloko phezu kwezithende kuthando. Ubudlelwane bunokubonakala buhamba kakuhle, nokuba bungabinasiphako, kwaye nobabini nibonakala ngathi nikwelo phepha malunga nayo yonke into.

Oku akuzinzileyo ngokuhamba kwexesha. Ekugqibeleni ungadinga ukubeka phambili iqabane lakho kancinci ukukhathalela ubomi bemihla ngemihla.

Ukuchitha ixesha kunye kunokubonakala kuyinto encinci kwaye kulula, ngakumbi xa nobabini nixakekile okanye nidiniwe. Kodwa uthando luthetha ukuba uhlala uzama kwaye wenze iinzame zokubonisa ukukhathalela.

Uziva unxibelelene ngokunzulu

Ukuthanda umntu kunokubandakanya imeko yonxibelelwano olomeleleyo kunye nokuthembela. Uyazi iqabane lakho ngokwaneleyo ukuba ulungelelanise ukuthanda kwabo nokungathandiyo, amaxabiso kunye namandla ngaphandle kwengcinga yesibini.

Mhlawumbi ngumntu wokuqala obuyela kuye xa uziva uphantsi kunye nomntu wokuqala ofuna ukwabelana naye ngempumelelo yakho kunye neminqweno yakho. Uliqela. Ngamanye amaxesha unokuziva ngathi iyunithi enye.

Ngaba enye ingcono kunomnye?

Ke, uyazi ukuba uyalithanda iqabane lakho, kodwa ucinga ukuba awungekhe phakathi thanda nabo kwakhona.

Kulungile ngokugqibeleleyo. Ngapha koko, unokuziva ukhululekile ukwazi ukuba iihomoni zakho zihlala phantsi kancinci.

Abanye abantu bakhetha uvuyo lokuba sothandweni. Abanye bakhetha unxibelelwano olusenyongweni, olunzulu olunxulunyaniswa nothando lwexesha elide. Abantu abaninzi basebenzela ubudlelwane bexesha elide kwesi sizathu.

Into oyifunayo kubudlelwane inokwenza enye ibonakale ibhetele kunenye, kodwa ubudlelwane obuphilileyo bunokwenzeka.

Ucebisa ukuba abantu abaninzi bafune ukuqhawula umtshato emva kokuthandana. Kodwa akusekho mvakalelo phakathi Uthando aluthethi ukuba kufuneka ushiye iqabane lakho okanye ukuba ubudlelwane bakho buphelile. Kuthetha nje ukuba kuya kufuneka ubeke umzamo ongezelelweyo wokutshaja kwakhona izinto.

Ngaba ungabuyela ekuthandaneni nomntu?

Unokuziva ulusizi okanye uzisole ukuba uziva ulwalamano lwakho luphulukene "ne-spark" ehambelana nokuthandana. Mhlawumbi ufuna ukuba ukwabelana ngesondo kube yinto ezenzekelayo, okanye uzive wonwabile malunga nokubona iqabane lakho endaweni yokuhlala kamnandi.

Ukuthetha nomcebisi ngobuhlobo kunokukunceda uvuselele imvakalelo yokuthandana, kodwa ezi ngcebiso zinokunceda:

• Gcina umdla kwizimvo zabo kunye neemvakalelo zabo. Musa ukulibala malunga nokungena kwansuku zonke. Buza ukuba luhamba njani usuku lwabo, uqiniseke ukuba uyayimamela impendulo yabo.
• Ukubeka phambili izinto kunye, kubandakanya ukusondelelana. Oku kunokuthetha ukuphuma emcimbini womsebenzi kwangoko okanye ukuthatha itsheki yemvula kwezi zicwangciso zeemovie kunye nomhlobo wakho.
• Ungalibali imisebenzi yolondolozo. Cinga ngolwalamano lwakho njengemoto oxhomekeke kuyo ukuya nokubuya emsebenzini. Ukuyigcina iqhubeka, kuya kufuneka ufumane ioyile rhoqo, ujikeleze amavili, njalo njalo. Nika ulwalamano lwakho rhoqo, ukwenza iinzame zokunxibelelana ngokukhululekileyo kwaye unike uthando. Oku akufuneki ukuba kukhulu, kwimiboniso engaphezulu. Ukwanga ukubamkela ekhaya kungahamba indlela ende.

Umgca wezantsi

Emva kokwenza ukuba kudlule kumanqanaba okuqala okuthatheka, iimvakalelo zakho kwiqabane lakho zinokuqina kancinci. Awunakulangazelela inkampani yabo ngendlela efanayo. Ngapha koko, unokukonwabela ukuhlala kunye.

Sukuba nexhala. Oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo, kwaye akufuneki ukuba ipele isiphelo sezinto.

Uthando lwexesha elide lubandakanya ukuzibophelela. Ukuba wena neqabane lakho nizinikela ngokuzama ukugcina ubudlelwane benu, ubuncinci, uya kuba nolwalamano olomeleleyo. Kwaye unokuyigcina ngokuthanda uthando uzive uphila, nayo.

UCrystal Raypole wayekhe wasebenza njengombhali kunye nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Amacandelo akhe anomdla abandakanya iilwimi zaseAsia kunye noncwadi, uguqulelo lwaseJapan, ukupheka, isayensi yendalo, ubungqingili besini, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukodwa, uzibophelele ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ukubekwa amabala malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.