Ndishumayele ukuBekwa komzimba - kwaye nditshone nzulu kwingxaki yam yokutya ngexesha elinye

Umxholo

• "F ck wena, inkcubeko yokutya!" Ndivuya ngemincili. “Ndazi ngcono ngoku. Ndifunde isifundo sam.”
• Kodwa apho kuchaphazeleka khona ukuphazamiseka kwindlela yokutya, iskripthi - {textend} nokuba sekunkqayiwe - {textend} asiyongena endaweni yomsebenzi
• “Andiqondi ukuba abantu bathatha isigqibo sokuba batye nini,” ndavuma kunyangi wam. Amehlo akhe athe ntsho yinkxalabo enzulu
• Ukuba oko bekuyinyani, ngekhe ndihlale apha, ndibelane nawe ngenyaniso engathandekiyo malunga nokubuyiselwa: Akukho iindlela ezimfutshane, akukho mantras, kwaye akukho zilungiso zikhawulezayo
• U-ED wam wayethanda i-naïveté ye-Insta-friendly positivity, echaza loo ngcinga yokhuseleko ukundikhohlisa ndicinge ukuba ndilawula, ukuba ndingcono kunayo yonke le
• Uninzi lwabakhuseli ojonge kubo ukuba babenama-unromantic ngokulinganayo kodwa amaxesha akhaliphileyo ngoluhlobo

Into oyikholelwayo entliziyweni yakho ayinakunyanga isigulo sengqondo.

Andihlali ndibhala ngempilo yam yengqondo xa izinto “zintsha.”

Hayi kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo, kunjalo. Ndikhetha ukuvumela izinto zihambe kakuhle, kwaye ndiqiniseke ukuba amagama endikhethayo ayaxhobisa, ayaphakamisa, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, asonjululwe.

Ndikhetha ukunika iingcebiso xa ndikwelinye icala lento - {textend} ubukhulu becala kuba ndiyazi ukuba ndinoxanduva kubafundi bam, ukuqinisekisa ukuba ndibabhenca kwicala elifanelekileyo. Ndiyazi ukuba le bhlog inokuba ngumkhondo kubantu abafuna into enethemba. Ndizama ukuyikhumbula loo nto.

Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, xa ndipakisha ngokugqibeleleyo elo themba labaphulaphuli, ndingazikhohlisa ngokucinga ukuba ndiyichithile ikhowudi kwaye, ke, ndinokuwushiya umzabalazo ngaphambili. Isiphelo esifanelekileyo sesahluko, ngokungathi kunjalo.

“Ndiyazi ngcono ngoku,” ndiyazicingela. Ndifundile. ”

Ukuba ubunokuya kuGoogle "kwi-transgender body positivity," Ndiqinisekile ngaphezulu kwezinto ezimbalwa endizibhalileyo ziya kuza.

Ndiye ndadliwanondlebe nee-podcast kunye namanqaku, ndaphakanyiswa njengomzekelo womntu otshintshileyo - {textend} ngokutshintsha okulula kwimbono kwaye elandela iiakhawunti ezilungileyo ze-Insta - {textend} weza kuchaza ubudlelwane bakhe nokutya kunye umzimba wakhe.

Ndizibhale zontathu ezi zinto. Kuyonwabisa.

Inguqulelo yeziganeko yenye ndiyithandayo, kuba ilula kwaye iyathuthuzela. Inye ecwebezelayo, epiphany eqaqambileyo, kwaye ndiphume ndiphumelele, ndavela ngaphaya kwayo nayiphi na into yehlabathi, ukukhathazeka malunga namanqaku am olulekileyo okanye ukutya i-ayisikhrim kwisidlo sakusasa.

"F ck wena, inkcubeko yokutya!" Ndivuya ngemincili. “Ndazi ngcono ngoku. Ndifunde isifundo sam.”

Xa ungummeli kunye nombhali wezempilo yengqondo, ngakumbi ngendlela enje, kulula ukuzikhohlisa ngokucinga ukuba uneempendulo kwiingxaki zakho.

Kodwa loo nkohliso yolawulo kunye nokuzazi kakuhle yiyo kanye loo nto - {textend} yinkohliso, nenkohliso kuloo nto.

Kulula ukwalatha kule minyaka ndiyichithile kwesi sithuba, nayo yonke into endiyipapasileyo malunga nale nto, kwaye ndinyanzelisa ukuba ndilawule izinto. Ayisiyo eyokuqala i-rodeo, pal. Okanye okwesibini. Isithathu. Isine. (Ndine amava kwicala lam.)

Ukuba ndingabaxhasa abanye ngokuchacha kwabo, ngokuqinisekileyo ndingahamba ngendlela yam. Nangona ndibhala njalo, ndiyazi ukuba yinto ehlekisayo leyo - {textend} ukunika iingcebiso ezilungileyo kulula kakhulu kunokuzisebenzisa kuwe, ngakumbi apho kugula khona ingqondo.

Kodwa uhlobo lwam endilukhethayo lulo luthi kolu dliwanondlebe, “Xa ufika kwelinye icala layo nantoni na osokola nayo, uyakubona ukungawathathi loo mathuba - {textend} uhlala nje isiqingatha sesiqingatha Ubomi obuphilayo - {textend} boyikisa kakhulu kunayo nayiphi na intlekele ocinga ukuba iza kuvela ngokutya elo qhekeza lekeyiki okanye nokuba ibiyintoni na. ”

Utsho umntu okwenyani, ngokwenene nangokunyanisekileyo, ophila kolo loyiko ebomini ahleli nje ngesiqingatha ngalo mzuzu.

Ukuzithemba komzimba kuye kwavakala njengolwalamano endingena kulo ndisemncinci kangaka, kwakude kudala ngaphambi kokuba ndizazi okanye nditsho nengxaki yokutya. Kwaye xa ndandinzulu kakhulu, ndizibeke njengoloyiso, bendingazi ukuba ndibuyele umva ngokwaneleyo ukuze ndicele uncedo.

Bendifuna ukukholelwa ukuba ibingathi sisithambiso esinokuthi phambi kwesipili amatyeli aliqela - {textend} “yonke imizimba yimizimba elungileyo! yonke imizimba yimizimba elungileyo! yonke imizimba iyinyama elungileyo. - {textend} kunye IPOFU! Ndaxolelwa kulo naliphi na ityala, iintloni, okanye uloyiko endiva ngalo malunga nokutya okanye umzimba wam.

Ndingazithetha zonke izinto ezichanekileyo, njengombhalo endiwenzileyo, kwaye ndiyayithanda imbono kunye nomfanekiso wam xa ndandijonga iilensi ezinemibala ebovu.

Kodwa apho kuchaphazeleka khona ukuphazamiseka kwindlela yokutya, iskripthi - {textend} nokuba sekunkqayiwe - {textend} asiyongena endaweni yomsebenzi

Kwaye akukho sixa sememes se-Instagram kunye neefoto zamanqatha esisu anokuchaphazela amanxeba amadala, abuhlungu abeke ukutya njengotshaba lwam, kunye nomzimba wam njengendawo yemfazwe.

Oko kukuthi, andiphinde ndifumane. Umsebenzi wawungekaqali.

Ngapha koko, ndisebenzise ukusondela kwam kwizithuba ezilungileyo zomzimba ukungahoyi kwawona umbono wokuba ndifuna uncedo- {textend} kwaye ndihlawula ixabiso ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwengqondo nangokweemvakalelo ngoku.

Ndaye ndanxiba ubuhle bomzimba njengesixhobo, ukwenza umfanekiso wam endifuna ukuba kuwo, kwaye ingxaki yam yokutya ibonakaliswe kwimbono yokuba ndingabunqumamisa ubunyani bokugula kwam ngokuthintela imithombo yeendaba zam zentlalo ngokufanelekileyo.

Ukuqonda kwam ubume bomzimba - {textend} nangokongezwa, iingcambu zayo ekwamkelweni kwamanqatha kunye nenkululeko - {textend} kwakungekho nzulu kakhulu, kodwa kuphela ngenxa yokuba ingxaki yam yokutya yayichuma ixesha elide ndide ndaziqinisa. Le yayiyenye indlela yokuziqinisekisa ukuba ndilawula, ukuba ndandinengqondo kune-ED yam.

Ingxaki yam yayinomdla wokundenza ndizive ndinqabisekile. Khange ndibenengxaki yokutya, bendicinga - {textend} ukutya okungalunganga, mhlawumbi, kodwa ngubani ongakwenziyo oko? Andikwazanga kuba ndinguye savela. Njengokuba isigulo sengqondo sikhe sinike f * * k malunga neencwadi ozifundileyo.

Ukuphazamiseka kwindlela yokutya kunendlela yokuzimela kuwe. Olo kuqonda yinto entsha kum - {textend} hayi kuba ndingakuqondanga oko, kodwa kungenxa yokuba ndizokuyamkela kwimeko yamava am endihleli kwiintsuku ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo.

Kwaye ndinqwenela ukuba ndingathi le epiphany ize kum ngokwam, indikhuthaza ukuba ndibuyise ubomi bam. Kodwa akukho buqhawe apha. Ifike ngaphezulu kuphela ngenxa yokuba ugqirha ebuze imibuzo eyiyo ngexesha lokuhlolwa, kwaye igazi lam libonisa into endiyoyika ukuba yinyani- {textend} umzimba wam wawuza kungenziwa ungabikho ukutya okwaneleyo, okunezondlo.

“Andiqondi ukuba abantu bathatha isigqibo sokuba batye nini,” ndavuma kunyangi wam. Amehlo akhe athe ntsho yinkxalabo enzulu

“Batya xa belambile, Sam,” watsho ngobunono.

Ngexesha elithile okanye elinye, bendilibele kwaphela loo nto ilula, esisiseko. Kukho indlela emzimbeni, eyenzelwe ukuba indikhokele, kwaye ndinqumle lonke unxibelelwano kuwo ngokupheleleyo.

Andikweli oku njengokugxeka kwam, kodwa kunoko, njengeyona nyaniso ilula: Uninzi lwethu oludunyiswayo njengobuso bokuchacha lusekhona, ngeendlela ezininzi, kanye phakathi kwalo.

Ngamanye amaxesha le nto uyibonayo ayingomboniso wempumelelo, kodwa endaweni yoko, sisiqwenga esincinci, iphazili eyonakeleyo esizama ngayo ukuhlangana emva kwezigcawu, ukuze kungabikho mntu uqaphela ukuba siqwengwe.

Ukuchacha kwam ekutyeni, enyanisweni, kwasebusaneni. Kutshanje ndiyekile ukusebenzisa "ukutya okungalunganga" ukufihla ubunyani, kwaye ngale ntsasa, ekugqibeleni ndithethile kwisazi sokutya esijolise kwii-ED.

Namhlanje ekuseni.

Namhlanje, eneneni, lusuku lokuqala lokwenyani lokuchacha. Yiminyaka emithathu emva koko, ndibhale la mazwi: “Azisekho izizathu. Azisekho izizathu. Alukho olunye usuku ...

Ndiyazi ukuba kukho abafundi ekusenokwenzeka ukuba bawujongile umsebenzi wam kwimo entle yomzimba kwaye bathatha umbono ophosakeleyo wokuba ukuphazamiseka kwindlela yokutya (okanye naluphi na uhlobo lokungakhathali komzimba okanye ukuphazamiseka kokutya) zizinto nje esizicingayo (okanye kwimeko yam, zibhale) ye.

Ukuba oko bekuyinyani, ngekhe ndihlale apha, ndibelane nawe ngenyaniso engathandekiyo malunga nokubuyiselwa: Akukho iindlela ezimfutshane, akukho mantras, kwaye akukho zilungiso zikhawulezayo

Kwaye njengokuba siyivuyisa imbono yokuzithanda ngokufikelelekayo ngokulula - {textend} ngokungathi sisityalo esinye esigqibeleleyo kude - {textend} siyaphoswa ngumsebenzi onzulu ekufuneka wenziwe ngaphakathi kwethu, ukuba kungabikho mali icaphukisayo, iikowuti ezikhuthazayo I-retweet inokutshintsha.

Umothuko awukho ngaphezulu, kwaye ukubetha intliziyo yawo, kufuneka singene nzulu.

Le yinyaniso eyoyikisayo nengathandekiyo endiza kuyidibana nayo - {textend} eyona nto iphambili, ukunkcenkceshelwa komzimba kunokuthi kuvule ucango kusingenise, kodwa kuxhomekeke kuthi ukwenza owona msebenzi wobuyiselo.

Kwaye oko akuqali ngaphandle, kodwa ngaphakathi kuthi. Ukubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo kukuzibophelela okuqhubekayo ekufuneka sikukhethe yonke imihla, ngabom nangokungafihlisiyo, ngokunyaniseka okunzulu kuthi kunye neenkqubo zethu zenkxaso njengabantu.

Nokuba siyilungisa njani imithombo yeendaba yethu ukuze isikhumbuze ukuba singathanda ukuba phi, umbono onomdla esiwenzayo awusoze uthabathe indawo yenyani esihlala kuyo.

Njengokuba kuqhele ukwenzeka xa kukho ingxaki yokutya, ndiyaqonda, umnqweno - {textend} wokuba “ingaba yintoni” - {textend} isoloko iba sisinyanzelo, impambano, apho sihlala khona kwikamva esingafikiyo kulo e.

Kwaye ngaphandle kokuba sizibophelele ekuzimiseleni ngoku, nokuba (kwaye ngakumbi) xa kungonwabanga ukuba lapha, siwayeka amandla ethu siwa phantsi kwempembelelo yawo.

U-ED wam wayethanda i-naïveté ye-Insta-friendly positivity, echaza loo ngcinga yokhuseleko ukundikhohlisa ndicinge ukuba ndilawula, ukuba ndingcono kunayo yonke le

Kwaye andinakuthi ndiyamangaliswa yiyo - {textend} ii-EDs zibonakala ngathi zithatha izinto ezininzi esizithandayo (i-ayisikrimu, iyoga, ifashoni) kwaye siziphendulele ngandlela thile.

Andinazo zonke iimpendulo, ngaphandle kokuthetha oku: Sisebenza ngokuqhubekayo, sonke, nkqu nabo ujonge kubo.

Isiseko yindawo eyedwa ukuba ibe kuyo, kwaye isithukuthezi, ndicinga, kulapho ukuphazamiseka kukutya (kunye nezifo ezininzi zengqondo) zihlala zikhula. Kudala ndilapha phezulu, ndithule ndilindele ukuwa okanye ukuba idilike phantsi kwam - {textend} nokuba yeyiphi eza kuqala.

Njengoko ndisenza ukwehla kwam, ndicotha kancinci ndisiya ezantsi kwaye ndingena ekukhanyeni kokubuyiselwa kwam, ndiza kuyamkela inyani ekufuneka sonke siyikhumbule: Kulungile ukuba ungalungi.

Kulungile ukuba ungabinazo zonke iimpendulo, nokuba ilizwe liphela lilindele wena, nokuba ulindele ngokwakho ukuya.

Andinguye, njengoko abanye abantu bendichazile, "ubuso bomzimba we-transgender positivity." Ukuba ndikhona, andifuni kuba - {textend} Andifuni namnye kuthi ukuba abe oko kuthetha ukuba asivumelekanga ukuba sibe ngabantu.

Ndifuna ukuba uhlikihle lo mfanekiso engqondweni yakho kwaye, endaweni yoko, wazi ukuba bendiphi izolo: Ukuncamathela kwisondlo sokutya kubomi obuthandekayo (ngokoqobo - {textend} undigcinile ndiphila kwezi nyanga zimbalwa zidlulileyo), ndingakhange ndihlambe kangangesithathu iintsuku, ngelixa uthumela umyalezo othi "Ndicinga ukuba ndifuna uncedo."

Uninzi lwabakhuseli ojonge kubo ukuba babenama-unromantic ngokulinganayo kodwa amaxesha akhaliphileyo ngoluhlobo

Senza yonke imihla enye, nokuba sineselfie ukungqina ukuba yenzekile okanye hayi. (Abanye bethu banamaqela eqela, kwaye bandithembe, sonke sikwi Hot Hot Express kunye. Thembisa.)

Ukuba uziva ngathi awuvunyelwanga ukuba "usilele" (okanye mandithi, ungafezekanga, ungcolile, nditsho nokubuyela umva), ndifuna ukukunika imvume yokuphila loo nyaniso, ngayo yonke into yokunyaniseka kunye nokuba sesichengeni oyifunayo.

Kulungile ukuyeka ukwenza kwakhona. Ndithembele kum, ndiyazi ukuba inkulu kangakanani into yokubuza, kuba loo nto ibiyingubo yam yokhuseleko (kunye nomthombo wokukhanyela kwam) kangangexesha elide.

Unganikezela kumathandabuzo, uloyiko, kunye nokungonwabi okuza nokwenza lo msebenzi, kwaye uzinike imvume yokuba ngumntu. Ungaluyeka olo lawulo kwaye - {textend} Ndixelelwe, kunjalo - {textend} konke kuzolunga.

Kwaye olu luntu lungamangalisayo lokubuyisa amajoni esiwenzileyo ngeememes zethu, iikowuti zethu ezikhuthazayo, kunye nezihloko zethu zezityalo? Siza kuba kanye apha, silinde ukukuxhasa.

Andinakuthi ndiyayazi le nto ngokuqinisekileyo (molo, Usuku lokuqala), kodwa ndinokrokra olomeleleyo lokuba olu hlobo lokunyaniseka kulapho ukukhula okwenyani kwenzeka khona. Kwaye naphina apho kukho ukukhula, sendifumene, kulapho ukuphilisa kuqala khona ngenene.

Kwaye yile nto siyifaneleyo, sonke ngabanye. Ayilulo uhlobo lokuphilisa, kodwa izinto ezinzulu.

Ndifuna loo nto kum. Ndifuna loo nto kuthi sonke.

Eli nqaku lavela okokuqala apha ngoJanuwari 2019.

USam Dylan Finch ngumhleli wezempilo yengqondo kunye neemeko ezingapheliyo kwiHealthline. Ukwayibhlog emva kwe-Let Queer Things Up!, Apho abhala khona malunga nempilo yengqondo, ukomelela komzimba, kunye ne-LGBTQ + yesazisi. Njengommeli, unomdla wokwakha uluntu ukuze abantu bachache. Ungamfumana kwi-Twitter, kwi-Instagram, naku-Facebook, okanye ufunde okungakumbi ku-samdylanfinch.com.