Ukulahla ukufakelwa kwamabele wam emva koKwenza iMastectomy kabini ekugqibeleni kwandinceda ukuba ndibuyise uMzimba wam

Umxholo

• Uphengululo lwe

Ukuqala kwam ukukhumbula ndiziva ndizimele kuxa ndandifunda phesheya e-Italy kunyaka wam omncinane wekholeji. Ukuba kwelinye ilizwe nangaphandle kwesingqisho esiqhelekileyo sobomi kundincede ndanxibelelana nam kwaye ndaqonda okuninzi malunga nokuba ndingubani kwaye ndifuna ukuba ngubani. Ukubuyela kwam ekhaya, ndaziva ngathi ndikwindawo entle kwaye ndonwabile ukukhwela phezulu endiziva ndikwiminyaka yam ephezulu yekholeji.

Kwiiveki ezilandelayo, ngaphambi kokuba iiklasi ziqale kwakhona, ndaya kugqirha wam ukuya kwenza uvavanyo lwesiqhelo apho wafumana iqhuma emqaleni wam wandicela ukuba ndiye kubona ingcali. Ngokwenene ndingacingi kakhulu ngayo, ndibuyele ekholejini kodwa kungekudala emva koko, ndafowunelwa ngumama endazisa ukuba ndinomhlaza wedlala lengqula. Ndandineminyaka engama-21 ubudala.

Kwiiyure ezingama-24 ubomi bam butshintshile. Ndemka ekubeni kwindawo yolwandiso, ukukhula, kunye nokuza kwam ndibuyele ekhaya, ukufumana utyando kunye nokuxhomekeka ngokupheleleyo kusapho lwam kwakhona.Kwafuneka ndithathe i-semester yonke, ndisebenzise i-radiation kwaye ndichithe ixesha elininzi esibhedlele, ndiqinisekisa ukuba ii-biomarkers zam zijongiwe. (Eyeleleneyo: NdinguMhlaza oSindileyo weXesha leSine kunye noMbaleki wase-USA kunye nembaleki yasendle)

Ngowe-1997, emva konyaka, ndandingenawo umhlaza. Ukusukela ngelo xesha ukuya kuthi ga phakathi kwiminyaka yamashumi amabini, ubomi babulungile ngaxeshanye kwaye bunobumnyama obumangalisayo. Kwelinye icala, bendinawo onke la mathuba amangalisayo awela endaweni-kanye emva kokuthweswa isidanga, ndafumana uqeqesho e-Italiya ndaye ndaphela ndihlala khona iminyaka emibini enesiqingatha. Emva koko, ndabuyela eUnited States ndaza ndenza umsebenzi endandinawo wokuthengisa kwintengiso yefashoni ngaphambi kokuba ndibuyele e-Italiya ndiyokufumana isidanga sam.

Yonke into yayikhangeleka igqibelele ephepheni. Kodwa ebusuku, ndandingalali ndivuka ngenxa yoloyiko, ukudandatheka okukhulu, kunye noxinzelelo. Andikwazi ukuhlala kwigumbi lokufundela okanye kwithiyetha yemidlalo bhanyabhanya ngaphandle kokuba ngasecaleni komnyango. Kwafuneka ndinyangwe kakhulu ngaphambi kokuba ndikhwele inqwelo-moya. Kwaye ndinoluvo oluqhubekayo lokutshatyalaliswa kundilandela naphi na apho ndandihamba khona.

Ukujonga emva, xa kwafunyaniswa ukuba ndinomhlaza, ndaxelelwa ukuba 'Owu unethamsanqa' kuba yayingelilo uhlobo "olubi" lomhlaza. Wonke umntu wayefuna nje ukundenza ndizive ngcono ukuze kubekho oku kuthontelana kwethemba kodwa andizange ndizivumele ukuba ndizilile kwaye ndiqhubele phambili intlungu kunye nokwenzakala endikuyo, nokuba bendinethamsanqa kangakanani na.

Emva kweminyaka embalwa ndidlulile, ndaye ndagqiba ekubeni ndenze uvavanyo lwegazi ndafumanisa ukuba ndingumntu ophethe uhlobo lwe-BCRA1, olwenza ukuba ndibesemngciphekweni wokufumana umhlaza wamabele kwixa elizayo. Umbono wokuhlala ekuthinjweni kunye nempilo yam kuThixo uyazi ukuba kuya kude kube nini, ndingazi ukuba ndiza kuziva nini kwaye nini iindaba ezimbi, yayininzi kakhulu indlela endinokuphatha ngayo ndinikwe impilo yam yengqondo kunye nembali ngegama le-C. Ke, ngo-2008, kwiminyaka emine emva kokufumanisa malunga ne-BCRA yemfuza, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndithathe amanyathelo othintelo. (Eyeleleneyo: Yintoni Ngokwenene Esebenza Ukwehlisa Umngcipheko Womhlaza Webele)

Ndingene kolu tyando ndinamandla kakhulu kwaye ndicace gca malunga nesigqibo sam kodwa ndingaqinisekanga malunga nokuba ndiza kwenzelwa ukwakhiwa kwakhona kwebele. Inxalenye yam yayifuna ukuphuma kuyo ngokupheleleyo, kodwa ndabuza malunga nokusebenzisa amanqatha am kunye nezicubu, kodwa oogqirha bathi andinayo ngokwaneleyo ukusebenzisa loo ndlela. Ke ndafumana ukufakelwa kwebele okusekwe kwisilicon kwaye ndacinga ukuba ekugqibeleni ndiza kuba nakho ukuqhubeka nobomi bam.

Akuzange kuthathe xesha lide ukuba ndiqonde ukuba ayilulanga kangako.

Zange ndaziva ndisekhaya emzimbeni wam emva kokufakwa. Babengakhululekanga kwaye bandenza ndizive ndiqhawukile kweli lungu lomzimba wam. Kodwa ngokungafaniyo nexesha endafunyaniswa ngalo okokuqala ekholejini, ndandikulungele ukutshintsha ngokupheleleyo kwaye nditshintshe ubomi bam. Ndandiqale ukuya kwiiklasi zabucala zeyoga emva kokuba umyeni wam owayesakuba ngumyeni wam endifumene ipakethe yomhla wokuzalwa kwam. Ubudlelwane endakha nabo obundifundise okuninzi malunga nokubaluleka kokutya kakuhle nokucamngca, okokuthi ekugqibeleni kwandinika amandla okuya kunyango okokuqala kunye nokuzimisela ukukhupha iimvakalelo zam kwaye ndizikrazule zonke zivuleke. (Idibeneyo: 17 Izibonelelo ezinamandla zokucamngca)

Kodwa ngelixa ndandisebenza nzima ngokwam ngokwasengqondweni nasemphefumlweni, umzimba wam wawusasebenza ngokwasemzimbeni kwaye awuzange ndive ikhulu leepesenti. Kwakungekho ngo-2016 apho ndade ndalifumana ikhefu endandilifuna.

Umhlobo wam osenyongweni weza kwam nje emva koNyaka oMtsha wandinika isipha sephetshana. Wayesithi uza kususa izinto awayezimilisele ebeleni kuba wayeziva ukuba ziyamgulisa. Ngelixa wayengafuni ukundixelela ukuba mandithini, wandicebisa ukuba ndifunde lonke ulwazi, kuba kukho ithuba lokuba izinto ezininzi endisajongana nazo ngokwasemzimbeni, zinokudityaniswa kufakelo lwam.

Ngokwenyani, okwesibini ndimvile xa esithi ndicinga ukuba kufuneka ndizikhuphe ezi zinto. Ndiye ndafowunela ugqirha wam ngosuku olulandelayo kwaye kwisithuba seeveki ezintathu ndaye ndazikhupha izifakelo zam. Okwesibini ndavuka kuqhaqho, ndaziva ndingcono ngoko nangoko kwaye ndazi ukuba ndenze isigqibo esifanelekileyo.

Lo mzuzu yeyona nto indiqhubele kwindawo apho ndakwazi ukubuyisa umzimba wam ongakhange uve ngathi ngowam ukusukela oko ndafumana isifo sokuqala somhlaza wedlala lengqula. (Idibeneyo: Eli bhinqa liXhobisayo liBonakalisa iMarkectomy Scars kwi-Campaign ye-Ad Equinox entsha)

Ngokwenene yaba nempembelelo kum kangangokuba ndaye ndagqiba ekubeni ndenze i-multimedia documentary eqhubekayo ebizwa ngokuba yi-Last Cut ngoncedo lomhlobo wam uLisa Field. Ngothotho lweefoto, iiposti zebhlog, kunye neepodcast, bendifuna ukwabelana ngohambo lwam nehlabathi ngelixa ndikhuthaza abantu ukuba benze okufanayo.

Ndavakalelwa kukuba ukuqonda endinako xa ndagqiba ekubeni ndisuse ukufakelwa kwam yayisisikweko esikhulu sale nto sikuyo konke ukwenza konke ixesha. Sonke sihlala sicinga ngento engaphakathi kuthi engalinganiyo ukuba ngubani kanye kanye. Sonke siyazibuza: Athini amanyathelo okanye izigqibo okanye amanxeba okugqibela, njengoko ndithanda ukubabiza, ngaba kufuneka sithathe ukuqhubela phambili ebomini obuvakalelwa ngathi?

Ndiye ndathatha yonke le mibuzo bendizibuza yona kwaye ndabelana ngebali lam kwaye ndaye ndafikelela nakwabanye abantu abakhe baphila ubomi obunesibindi nobunesibindi kwaye babelana ngantoni. okokugqibelaamanxeba Kuye kwafuneka bahambe ukuze baye kufika apho bakhoyo namhlanje.

Ndiyathemba ukuba ukwabelana ngala mabali kuya kunceda abanye baqonde ukuba ababodwa, ukuba wonke umntu udlula ebunzimeni, nokuba bukhulu okanye buncinci kangakanani, ukuze ekugqibeleni bafumane ulonwabo.

Ekupheleni kosuku, ukuthandana nawe kuqala kwenza yonke enye into ebomini, ingabi lula, kodwa icace ngakumbi. Kwaye ukunika ilizwi kwinto ohamba kuyo ngendlela esengozini kwaye ekrwada yindlela enzulu ngokwenene yokwenza unxibelelwano kunye nawe kwaye ekugqibeleni utsale abantu abanika ixabiso kubomi bakho. Ukuba ndinokunceda nokuba umntu omnye eze kulwazelelo kwakamsinya kunokuba ndenzile, ndiyenzile into endizalelwe ukuyenza. Kwaye akukho mvakalelo ingcono kunaleyo.

Uphengululo lwe