Ungamisa njani umntwana wakho omncinci ekulungeni

Umxholo

• Umele usabele njani xa umntwana ekuluma?
• 1. Zigcine upholile
• 2. Nika intuthuzelo
• 3. Bafundise iindlela zokuthetha
• Ixesha lokuphelelwa lixesha
• 5. Yiba ngumzekelo wokuziphatha kakuhle
• Yintoni ongamele uyenze
• Kutheni abantwana beluma nje
• Ungamthintela njani umntwana ekulungeni?
• Khangela iipateni
• Nika ezinye iindlela
• Sebenzisa ukuqiniswa okuqinisekileyo
• Nini ukubona ugqirha
• Yise kude

Sibandakanya iimveliso esicinga ukuba ziluncedo kubafundi bethu. Ukuba uthenga amakhonkco kweli phepha, sinokufumana ikhomishini encinci. Nantsi inkqubo yethu.

Njengokuba iintsana zikhula zintsana, zihlala zikhulisa isimilo esitsha. Ezinye zezi ziyathandeka kodwa ezinye… hayi kakhulu. Ngelixa kusenokwenzeka ukuba uyakuthanda ukuthanda kwabo amagama ngendlela engeyiyo kunye nokuncamisa umhlaba, ukuluma ngumkhwa ongathandekiyo abanye abantwana abawuthathayo.

Ngaphandle kobukhulu bazo obuncinci, iintsana kunye nabantwana abancinci banokuba nokuluma okunamandla, kwaye uya kufuna ukusombulula ingxaki ngokukhawuleza. Ukuluma akunakukhokelela kuphela kumava abuhlungu kuwe, kubantakwabo, nakwabo badlala nabo kodwa nakwiingxaki ezinkulu zamaqela okudlala okanye okhathalelo lwemini.

Silapha ukuze sivavanye izizathu zokuba kutheni abantwana beluma kwaye banike iingcebiso zokunceda ukwaphula umkhwa.

Umele usabele njani xa umntwana ekuluma?

Umntwana omncinci olumayo unokuba buhlungu, aphazamise, kwaye avavanye umonde wakho, ngakumbi ukuba awazi ukuba mawenze ntoni ukuze uyeke. Khumbula, nangona kunjalo, impendulo yakho iya kuba nefuthe elihle okanye elibi kwimeko.

Akukho ndlela inye yokumisa umntwana ekulumezeni, ngenxa yoko kungathatha iindlela ezininzi zokulawula ingxaki. Nazi ezinye iindlela zokuzama:

1. Zigcine upholile

Kubalulekile ukuhlala uzolile, kodwa uqinile. Ufuna ukuyenza icace gca ukuba ukuluma akwamkelekanga, kodwa kwangaxeshanye, ungalahli ukuzola.

Ukuba uphakamisa ilizwi lakho okanye ucaphuke, umntwana wakho omncinci unokuba nomsindo, naye. Kwaye ukuba uchaza ngokucacileyo izizathu zokungalumi, umntwana wakho unokuzikhupha okanye azive exinekile. Eyona nto unokuyenza kukugcina kulula.

Lungisa umba ngalo lonke ixesha usenzeka, uphinda uqinise ukuba ukuluma kubuhlungu kwaye akuvumelekanga. Ungathetha into efana "nokungaluma" okanye "yeka ukuluma" kwaye ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngokuzolileyo uhambise umntwana olumayo apho angenakuphinda alume khona. Ukulungiswa okungaguqukiyo kunokunceda ukuthintela isimilo.

2. Nika intuthuzelo

Nceda abantwana abasakhulayo baqonde ukuba ukuluma kuyabenzakalisa abanye. Ke ukuba umntwana wakho uluma umntu adlala naye okanye umntakwabo, thuthuzela ixhoba.

Ukuba umntwana wakho uyakubona unika ixhoba ingqalelo, banokuthi ekugqibeleni benze unxibelelwano lokuba ukuluma kulimaze, kunye nokuba ayifumani ngqwalaselo okanye impendulo enkulu.

Kwicala lokudibanisa, ukuba umntwana wakho omncinci "uyakufumana" kwaye abe nomsindo xa eqonda ukuba balimazile umhlobo wabo okanye umntakwabo, kuya kufuneka ubathuthuzele. Okwangoku, eyona nto kugxilwe kuyo kufuneka ihlale kwixhoba, kwaye unokukhumbuza umntu omncinci ukuba izenzo zabo zenzakalisa omnye umntu.

3. Bafundise iindlela zokuthetha

Abantwana abancinci bahlala beluma ngenxa yokuba bengakwazi ukuthetha okanye ukuziveza kakuhle (okanye konke). Xa beziva bekhathazekile okanye boyike okanye bonwabile, ngamanye amaxesha baveza ezona mvakalelo zinkulu ngokubhenela ekulungeni.

Ukuba umntwana wakho mdala ngokwaneleyo, cebisa ukuba basebenzise amagama abo endaweni yokuluma. Umzekelo, umntwana wakho angaluma umntu odlala naye ozama ukuthatha into yokudlala. Ukuphepha ukuluma, qeqesha umntwana wakho omncinci ukuba axelele abo adlala nabo "hayi" okanye "yeka" xa izinto zingahambi ngendlela yabo.

Ukuba oku akusebenzi kwaye umntwana wakho uyaqhubeka nokuluma, basuse kwimeko. Ukuphulukana nethuba lokudlala nabahlobo babo kunokusebenza njengesiphumo sokubanceda bakhumbule ukusebenzisa amagama abo kwixesha elizayo.

Ukuba awukwazi ukubasusa kule meko, kungcono ubukele ngononophelo olukhulu ukuze ukwazi ukujongana kwangoko kunye nokuphelisa esinye isiganeko sokuluma.

Ixesha lokuphelelwa lixesha

Xa ukuluma kuqhubeka, unokuzama ukuphuma kwexesha. Ukuze oku kusebenze, kufuneka ungaguquguquki.

Oku kubandakanya ukubeka umntwana wakho ekuphumeni kwexesha yonke ixesha ziluma, ukuze zazi ukuba ukuluma kuneziphumo. Ukuya kude kube nini ukuba bahlala ixesha elingakanani, isindululo esinye yimizuzu eli-1 kuwo wonke unyaka ubudala.

Umntwana oneminyaka emibini uya kufumana ixesha lokuphumla elili-2, ngelixa i-chile eneminyaka emihlanu izakufumana ukuphuma kwemizuzu emi-5.

Qaphela ukuba ixesha lokuphumla akufuneki ukuba licingwe njengesiyalo. Ziyindlela nje yokuthabatha umntwana kude nemeko ekhokelela ekulungeni kwaye vumela iimvakalelo zabo ukuba zipholise. Ikwagcina ukuba bangalumi kwangoko kwakhona. Oku kunokwenziwa ngokuzolileyo kwanaxa okokuqala umntwana eluma.

5. Yiba ngumzekelo wokuziphatha kakuhle

Nceda umntwana wakho omncinci afunde ukuba yeyiphi indlela yokuziphatha eyamkelekileyo ngokubonisa yona. Xa besenza into efana nokuhlutha into yokudlala okanye ukubetha, ngokuzolileyo yithi "Andiyithandi loo nto" ngelixa ubathumela kwindlela yokuziphatha engcono.

Unokufuna nokufunda iincwadi ezibonisa iindlela ezilungileyo zokujongana nokukhathazeka, ezinje nge "Akukho Bites" ebhalwe nguKaren Katz okanye "Calm-Down Time" ebhalwe ngu-Elizabeth Verdick.

Yintoni ongamele uyenze

Abanye abantu baya kuthi ngokungathandabuzekiyo bacebise ukuluma umntwana emva, ukuze babone ukuba uziva njani. Nangona kunjalo, akukho bungqina buxhasa ukusebenza kwale ndlela.

Ukongeza, jonga indlela ethumela ngayo imiyalezo edibeneyo. Kutheni le nto kubi kubo ukuluma kodwa kwamkelekile ukuba wena ulume? Endaweni yoko, jolisa kwisizathu esingunobangela wokudimaza ukuluma ngakumbi.

Kutheni abantwana beluma nje

Ewe ukuluma yinto eqhelekileyo ebuntwaneni. Nangona kunjalo, izizathu zokuphuhlisa umkhwa wokuluma zinokwahluka ukusuka kumntwana kuye komnye.

Into yokuqala ekufuneka uyikhumbule kukuba abantwana abancinci abanako ukuveza izimvo zabo njengabantwana abadala kunye nabantu abadala. Ngenxa yokuba banesakhono esilinganiselweyo sokunxibelelana, ngamanye amaxesha babhenela ekulungeni njengendlela yokukhulula iimvakalelo zabo zomsindo kunye nokudana, okanye nokonwaba okanye uthando.

Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba ukuluma phantse kuhlala kuyingxaki yethutyana. Iyaphucuka njengoko abantwana bekhula kwaye bafunda ukuzibamba kunye nezakhono zonxibelelwano ezingcono.

Kukwabalulekile ukuba ukhumbule ezinye izizathu zokuba umntwana angaluma.

Iintsana kunye nabantwana abancinci banokuluma ukuba balambile, badiniwe, okanye boyisiwe.

Abanye abantwana baxelisa nje oko babona abanye abantwana bekwenza. Ke ukuba kukho umntwana okhathalelayo olumayo, sukumangaliswa ukuba umntwana wakho uzama oku ekhaya.

Ewe kunjalo, abanye abantwana bayaluma ukuze bafumane ingqalelo, bakhuthaze impendulo, okanye bavavanye imida yabo.

Ungamthintela njani umntwana ekulungeni?

Nangona ukuluma kuyingxaki eqhelekileyo yobuntwana, yingxaki kunjalo.

Ukuba awukwazi ukuyifumana phantsi kolawulo, ubeka emngciphekweni wokuba umntwana wakho abhalwe njengengxaki okanye ukukhatywa kukhathalelo lwemini kunye namaqela adlalayo - ngakumbi ukuba bayabenzakalisa abanye abantwana.

Kungathatha iintsuku ezimbalwa okanye iiveki ezimbalwa, kodwa kukho iindlela zokuzama ukunqanda ukuluma ngaphambi kokuba kwenzeke.

Khangela iipateni

Ngamanye amagama, ngaba umntwana wakho uluma kwiimeko ezithile? Emva kokujonga umntwana wakho, unokuqaphela ukuba bayaluma xa bediniwe. Ukuba kunjalo, nqumla ixesha lokudlala ukuba umntwana wakho ubonakalisa ukudinwa.

Ipateni inokuba iluma umntu othile, ilume ngexesha lotshintsho olufana nokudlala ukuya kwimisebenzi enqwenelekayo, okanye nanini na xa besiva iimvakalelo ezinkulu. Ukwazi ukuba yintoni eyandulela ukuluma kunokukunceda ujongane nesizathu esisisiseko ngaphambi kokuba ukuluma kuqale.

Nika ezinye iindlela

Ngaphandle kweminyaka yabo yobudala, licebo elihle ukufundisa abantwana ngezinye iindlela zokulawula ukukhathazeka kwabo. Benze babe nomkhwa wokuthi "hayi" okanye "bayeke" xa bengayithandi into. Oku kunceda abantwana ukuba bangaphuhlisi kuphela izakhono zolwimi kodwa bakwazi nokuzilawula.

Ke kwakhona, ukuba uyakholelwa ukuba umntwana wakho uyaluma kuba banamazinyo kwaye kufuneka bazithobise, mnike iringi yokutsala. Kwakhona, ukubonelela ngokutya okutyayo xa umntwana wakho elambile okanye kubonakala ngathi ufumana iintlungu ezinamazinyo kunokunceda ukunciphisa ingxaki yokuluma ngenxa yokungonwabi.

Sebenzisa ukuqiniswa okuqinisekileyo

Abanye abantwana baqala ukuluma njengendlela yokufumana ingqalelo eyongezelelweyo- kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kuyasebenza. Ingxaki kukuba abanye abantwana baqala ukudibanisa ukuluma kunye nengqwalaselo, kwaye bayaqhubeka nomkhwa.

Inokukunceda ukubonelela ngoqiniseko oluqinisekileyo. Ukuba uvuza umntwana wakho ngokumdumisa ngokuphendula kwimeko ngamazwi abo kunye nokuzibamba, baya kufuna ingqalelo eyiyo endaweni yoko.

Sebenzisa inkuthazo efana neetshathi zesincamathelisi, apho yonke imihla ngaphandle kokuluma ifumana umvuzo, kunokuba sisixhobo esinamandla sokukhuthaza abanye abantwana abasele bekhulile.

Ngamanye amaxesha uvuma nje iinzame zabo ngokudumisa (Funda: "Ndinebhongo lokuba usebenzise amagama akho kumhla wethu wokudlala namhlanje! Umsebenzi olungileyo ukuba nobubele!") Ingalulo lonke ukhuthazo abaludingayo lokuba bathi ndlela-ntle kulunya.

Ukuba ukuluma komntwana wakho kusongela indawo yabo kukhathalelo lwemini, thetha nomboneleli wakho wokukhathalela abantwana kwaye uchaze izicwangciso ozisebenzisayo ekhaya. Jonga ukuba ngaba ukhathalelo lwemini lungaziphumeza ezi zicwangciso kwaye usebenze nawe ukuze usebenze ngelixa umntwana wakho ekhathalelo lwabo.

Nini ukubona ugqirha

Ukuluma yingxaki ephazamisayo, kodwa kuhlala kuyinto yethutyana, njengoko abantwana abaninzi bephuma kulo mkhuba beneminyaka emithathu okanye emine ubudala. Ke ngoko, umkhwa oqhubekayo wokuluma ngaphaya kwale minyaka inokuba luphawu lomnye umba, mhlawumbi iingxaki esikolweni okanye kwimicimbi yokuziphatha.

Thetha nomntwana wakho, thetha nabanonopheli, kwaye uxoxe ngengxaki kunye nodokotela wezilwanyana ukuze ukhokelwe.

Yise kude

Ukuluma mhlawumbi yenye yezona zinto zincinci ezithandekayo anokuzihlakulela umntwana, kwaye kubalulekile ukulungisa le ngxaki kwangoko xa iqala. Ungamhambisa umntwana wakho kwicala elifanelekileyo kwaye ubancede baqonde-nokuba umncinci-ukuba ukuluma kubuhlungu kwaye kwamkelekile.