Uyintoni Umzali Wengqondo?

Umxholo

• Kuthetha ntoni ukuba ngumzali ngengqondo
• Imiba ephambili yokukhumbula ukuba ngumzali
• Izibonelelo zokuba ngumzali onengqondo
• Imizekelo yokukhulisa kwengqondo
• Umntwana akazukulala?
• Ngaba umntwana uphosa ingqumbo evenkileni?
• Umntwana uyala ukutya?
• Umahluko kunye nezinye iindlela zokuba ngumzali
• Indlela yokukhumbula umzali
• Ukuthatha

Ngaba banabantwana ekhaya? Ukuba uziva ungalawuleki kwaye ufuna isikhokelo esongezelelweyo, awuwedwa.

Nangona kunjalo phakathi kwazo zonke iingozi zembiza, ukuvuka kwasekuseni, ukungqubana kwabantakwenu, kunye nokulinda kumqolo wokuthabatha abantwana besikolo, masinyaniseke- kusenokwenzeka ukuba unamandla amancinci ashiyekileyo ukuze ufunde iincwadi zokuba ngumzali ezingena choke.

Ngelo xesha, ukuqonda yonke i-buzz, kwaye abanye abantu bayayifaka kwifilosofi yabo yokuba ngumzali. Esi sicwangciso siluncedo sinokungabi ngumbono ombi kangako - ke siza kukunika irundundundundundundundundundundundenenen inengqondo nokuba kutheni kungakuhle ukuthatha umzuzu owongezelelekileyo ukuphefumla kwixesha elizayo xa ujongene nemeko engaphaya kokukhathaza.

Kuthetha ntoni ukuba ngumzali ngengqondo

Ngokwalo, ukuqaphela kukuziqhelanisa nokuphila ngalo mzuzu. Kuthetha ukuba uyazi ukuba uphi emhlabeni, ucinga ntoni, kwaye uziva njani ngaphakathi nangaphandle.

Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela, kodwa nengqondo ikwangokubhekisa kwihlabathi-kwihlabathi lakho-ngesigwebo esincinci kunye nokwamkelwa ngakumbi. Umbono wokuzisa ulwazi ngalo mzuzu wangoku sisiseko sokucamngca kweBuddhist, kwaye kuye kwenziwa kwaye kwafundwa kangangeenkulungwane.

Uluvo lokukhumbula ukuba ngumzali ngokukodwa ibikho okoko. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo, isebenzisa imigaqo-nkqubo yokucinga kwiimeko ezininzi kusapho lwakho ezinokuziva ngathi ziyaphambana ngamanye amaxesha.

Injongo yokuzisa ingqondo ekukhuliseni umntwana kukuphendula ngokucinga kwiindlela zokuziphatha okanye izenzo zomntwana ngokuchasene nokuphendula nje. Usebenza ukuze wamkelwe ngumntwana wakho, kwaye, ngokwakho. Ukondla ubudlelwane bakho ngale ndlela kunokunceda ukomeleza ulwalamano lwakho kwaye kukhokelele kwezinye izibonelelo.

Oku akuthethi ukuba ukuba ngumzali onengqondo uhlala uthetha ukucinga okuhle.

Siza kukuvumela ungene emfihlakalweni encinci - ukuba ngumzali akusoze kukhanye ilanga kwaye uncume kwaye abantwana batya into oyilungiselele isidlo sangokuhlwa ngaphandle kwesikhalazo.

Endaweni yoko, imalunga nokuzibandakanya ngokwenyani yangoku kwaye ungavumeli iimvakalelo okanye ukwenzakala kwixesha elidlulileyo okanye lekamva libala amava akho okanye - okona kubaluleke kakhulu - impendulo. Usenokuphendula ngomsindo okanye unxunguphalo, kodwa isuka kwindawo enolwazi ngakumbi kunaleyo izenzekelayo.

Imiba ephambili yokukhumbula ukuba ngumzali

Uninzi lwezinto onokuzifumana zibhaliwe malunga nokukhulisa abazali zijolise kwiimpawu ezintathu eziphambili:

• ulwazi kunye nokuqwalaselwa komzuzu wangoku
• injongo nokuziphatha kokuziphatha
• Isimo-sokugweba, uvelwano, ukwamkela-ekuphenduleni

Konke oku kuvakala kulungile, kodwa kuthetha ntoni kanye kanye?

Ukwahlulahlula ngakumbi, uninzi lweembono zokuba ngumzali okhumbula kubandakanya ezi:

• Ukumamela. Ithetha ukuba ngokwenene ukumamela nokujonga ngamehlo akho apheleleyo. Oku kungathatha isixa esikhulu somonde kunye nokuzilolonga. Kwaye ukumamela kufikelela kwindalo esingqongileyo. Thatha yonke into-izinto ozibonayo, ivumba, izandi-ezikungqonge kunye nomntwana wakho.
• Ukwamkela okungagwetywanga. Isondela kwimeko ngaphandle kokugweba iimvakalelo zakho okanye iimvakalelo zomntwana wakho. Yintoni elula ngu. Ukungathethi ngesigwebo kubandakanya ukuyeka ukulindela izinto ezingenakwenzeka kumntwana wakho. Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, kukwamkela oku "yintoni" yile njongo.
• Ukwazisa ngokweemvakalelo. Ukuzisa ulwazi malunga nokunxibelelana kwabazali kususela kumzali kuye emntwaneni nasemva. Ukumodareyitha ulwazi lweemvakalelo kubalulekile ekufundiseni umntwana wakho ukuba enze okufanayo. Kusoloko kukho iimvakalelo ezichaphazela iimeko, nokuba zenziwa kwakudala okanye ziyadlula.
• Ukuzilawula. Oku kuthetha ukuba ungavumeli iimvakalelo zakho zibangele ukuphendula kwangoko, njengokukhwaza okanye ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha ezizenzekelayo. Ngamafutshane: Kukucinga ngaphambi kokuthatha inxaxheba ukunqanda ukuphendula ngokugqithisileyo.
• Imfesane. Kwakhona, unokungavumelani nezenzo okanye iingcinga zomntwana wakho, kodwa ukukhulisa abantwana ngengqondo kukhuthaza abazali ukuba babe nemfesane. Oku kubandakanya ukuba novelwano kunye nokuqonda indawo yomntwana ngalo mzuzu. Imfesane inwenwela nakumzali, njengoko ekugqibeleni kukho ukungazibeki tyala ukuba imeko ayihambi njengoko ubulindele.

Inxulumene: Isizukulwane snap: Ukuba ngumzali njengepro kwiminyaka yedijithali

Izibonelelo zokuba ngumzali onengqondo

Kukho uninzi lwezifundo eziye zajonga izibonelelo ezinokubakho ezinxulumene nengqondo kunye nokuba ngumzali ngengqondo. Kubazali, ezi zibonelelo zingabandakanya ukunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye nokuphazamiseka kwemood, njengokudakumba noxinzelelo.

Enye encinci ide iphonononge ezi zibonelelo zabafazi abakhulelweyo kwikota yabo yesithathu. (Ewe! Unokuzuza ngaphambi kokuba ubuzali buqale ngokwenyani!) Abafazi ababenengqondo babenexhala elincinci kwaye bachaza iimeko ezimbalwa zeemvakalelo ezimbi.

Ukanti omnye ubonakalisile ukuba esi sibonelelo sinokufikelela nakwimpilo-ntle yabazali kunye nosapho. Njani? Ukongeza uqeqesho lokucinga ngengqondo kwinkqubo esele ikho yokubonisa ukuba yomeleza ubudlelwane bomzali nomntwana.

Kolu phononongo, yayi ngexesha lokufikisa, apho izinto zinokuba nzima ngakumbi. Abaphandi babelana ukuba ukuphuculwa kunokuba ngenxa yesakhono somzali "sokuphendula ngendlela eyakhayo" koxinzelelo njengoko bevela xa kuthelekiswa nokuphendula kunye nokunikezela ukwahlukanisa umntwana wabo.

Kubantwana, ukukhulisa abantwana ngengqondo kunokunceda ekwenzeni izigqibo ekuhlaleni. Kutshanje kutyhilwe ikhonkco ekuthathweni kwezigqibo nakwimimiselo yeemvakalelo. Ke, ukuqonda kunye nokwamkelwa kweemvakalelo ezikhuthazwa lolu hlobo lokuba ngumzali kunokunceda abantwana basebenze kobu buchule bubalulekileyo ebomini besebancinci kakhulu.

Ukukhulisa umntwana ngengqondo kunokunciphisa ukuphathwa gadalala okunokubakho, njengokuxhatshazwa emzimbeni. A wabonisa ukuncitshiswa kokuphathwa gadalala kwabantwana phakathi kwabazali abasebenzisa iindlela ngeendlela zokucinga. Ayisiyiyo loo nto kuphela, kodwa neendlela zokuba ngumzali ziphuculiwe. Ngokunjalo nemicimbi yokuziphatha komntwana. Yimpumelelo.

Enye into enokubakho:

• kuphucula unxibelelwano phakathi komzali nomntwana
• kunciphisa iimpawu zokungasebenzi kakuhle
• kuphucula ukwaneliseka njengomzali
• kunciphisa ubundlongondlongo
• yehlisa iimvakalelo zokudakumba
• kunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo
• ikhuthaza ukubandakanyeka kwabazali ngokubanzi
• yenza ukuba umzali azive ngathi kuthatha umzamo omncinci

Idibeneyo: Yintoni ofuna ukuyifumana malunga nokuba ngumzali?

Imizekelo yokukhulisa kwengqondo

Ke kujongeka njani ukuba ngumzali ngokwengqondo? Jonga le mizekelo yokuba ingayiphembelela njani indlela yakho kwimiceli mngeni yokuba ngumzali.

Umntwana akazukulala?

Thatha ithuba lokuphefumla. Unokufumana iingcinga zakho zijikeleza kubo bonke ubusuku obudlulileyo xa umntwana wakho omncinci alwa nokulala. Unganexhala lokuba abasokuze baphinde balale- okanye awusoze uphinde ube nexesha lokuzimela. Iimvakalelo zakho zinokukhawuleza. Kodwa, kwakhona, phefumla. Ukule nto. Kwaye unale.

Misa kancinci ukuze uqonde iimvakalelo zakho, zonke eziqhelekile. Ngaba uziva uphambene okanye ukhathazekile? Vuma oku ngaphandle kokuzigweba. Misa ikhefu kwakhona ukuze uqonde kwaye wamkele ukuba uninzi lweentsana lunengxaki yokulala ubusuku kwaye obu busuku abuthethi yonke ubusuku ubomi bonke.

Ngaba umntwana uphosa ingqumbo evenkileni?

Jonga ujikeleze. Ngelixa indlela abaziphethe ngayo inokuziva ineentloni okanye ibangele ezinye iimvakalelo ezingalunganga, yiba okwangoku.

Ukuba ujonga ngeenxa zonke, uyakubona ukuba kunye nabantu ongabaziyo abanokukwenza uxinzelelo (ungabahoyi!), zininzi izilingo kumntwana wakho evenkileni. Mhlawumbi bafuna into yokudlala okanye ilekese ethile. Mhlawumbi badiniwe ukusukela kumhla wokuthenga okanye baphoswa kukulala.

Ngaphambi kokuba ubambe umntwana wakho omncinci kwaye uphume evenkileni, zama ukugcina ingcambu yento eqhubekayo. Yamkela ukuba abantwana banokuphuma kulawulo xa kukho iindawo ezimnandi ezichaphazelekayo okanye xa bedinwe kakhulu. Yamkela ukuba kungenzeka bajongane neemvakalelo zabo ezintle. Kwaye yamkele ukuba ngexa abantu ongabaziyo bejonge, umntwana wakho akazami ukukubangela iintloni. (Kodwa, hayi. Oku akuthethi ukuba kuya kufuneka uthenge idola eyi-100 yokuthetha.)

Umntwana uyala ukutya?

Iintsana zithande ukuncanca ubisi lwebele okanye ubisi olungumgubo ngokungathi luyaphuma. Kodwa ngaxa lithile-kwaye kwenzeka kuye wonke umntu ekugqibeleni-umntwana wakho uya kwala ukuba atye ukutya okumnandi okuphekwe ekhaya okwenzileyo. Kwaye isilingo sakho siya kuba kukuthatha kwaye, ke, usabele.

Endaweni yokuphefumla, zikhumbuze ukuba ungumpheki olungileyo, kwaye ujonge indlela anokuziva ngayo umntwana wakho. Mhlawumbi baziva benoloyiko ngenxa yencasa entsha okanye uburhabaxa. Mhlawumbi bakhumbula ixesha lokutya kombala othile kwabenza bagula kwaye ngoku banxulumana nako konke ukutya kwalombala kunye nokugula. Ukugculela? Hayi kumdli omtsha.

Emva kokuba ungene ezihlangwini zabo kwaye wacinga ngemeko enovelwano, ncokola nabo malunga nezinto abazivayo nokuba kutheni befuna ukutya. Misela indlela yesiqhelo apho banokukhetha khona ukutya (phakathi kokukhetha okunempilo - kuba masithembeke, phakathi kwesipinatshi kunye nekhekhe, ngubani ngekhe khetha ikhekhe?) kunye nemodeli uzama izinto ezintsha ukuze bakubone usitya ngengqondo- kunokuba usabele ngaphambi kokucinga.

Inxulumene: Kutheni ilixesha lokuchitha intsomi kamama ogqibeleleyo

Umahluko kunye nezinye iindlela zokuba ngumzali

Ke, yintoni ebeka ukuba ngumzali okhumbula ngaphandle kwezinye iindlela zokuba ngumzali? Ewe, akuninzi malunga ukwenza into ingakumbi njengoko malunga nokuthatha ixesha ngokulula kuba. Ukuba oko kuvakala kuyinto engaqhelekanga kuwe, ungakhathazeki. Ngokuqinisekileyo kukutshintsha kwengqondo okunokuthatha ixesha ukuqonda.

Ezinye iindlela zokuba ngumzali zihlala zigxila kwindlela yokusondela kule okanye leya, okanye iindlela zokujongana nokuziphatha okanye isenzo esithile. Ukuba ngumzali okrelekrele kwisiseko sayo kumalunga nokubuyela umva kunye nokucothisa.

Imalunga nokuzalisa ikomityi yomzali kunye nokuqonda iimvakalelo zangaphakathi okanye izinto ezingaphandle ezinokuba nefuthe kulo mzuzu. Kwaye malunga nokwamkela iimvakalelo ezilungileyo nezingalunganga njengoko zisiza ngokuchaseneyo nokuchasana okwangoku ukufezekisa iziphumo ezithile.

Kwintliziyo, ukuba ngumzali okunonophele kuwonga amava obuntwana kwaye kuthatha ixesha ukubona umhlaba ngamehlo omntwana wakho. Abantwana, ngakumbi abancinci, bahlala ngokwalo mzuzu.

Ngelixa ezinye iindlela zokuba ngumzali zinokuba ngaphezulu ngokufundisa ulwakhiwo lwabantwana kunye nesiqhelo okanye okulungileyo nokubi, ukukhumbula kuthetha amandla abo okuzalwa. Isiphelo sokugqibela kukunika umntwana wakho izixhobo zokujongana noxinzelelo lwabo ngendlela enengqondo ngakumbi.

Idibeneyo: Ezona mama zibalaseleyo zebhloko ze2019

Indlela yokukhumbula umzali

Awudingi ukutshintsha indlela ophila ngayo ukuze uqalise ukusebenzisa iindlela zokucinga namhlanje.

• Vula amehlo akho, ngokoqobo nangokomfuziselo. Nika ingqalelo indawo ekungqongileyo kunye nendlela oziva ngayo ngaphakathi nangaphandle. Thatha izinto ngazo zonke izivamvo zakho -ukuchukumisa, ukuva, ukubona, ukuvumba, kunye nokunambitha.
• Yiba kulo mzuzu. Yilwa nokuphila kwixesha elidlulileyo okanye ucwangcise ngenjongo yekamva. Fumana okuhle okwenzekayo ngoku, phambi kwakho.
• Ziqhelise ukwamkelwa. Zama okusemandleni akho ukwamkela iimvakalelo nezenzo zomntwana wakho, kwanaxa zikukhathaza. (Kwaye yandisa oku kwamkelwa kuwe.)
• Phefumla. Unomzuzwana wobunzima? Gxila kumphefumlo wakho. Thatha umoya omninzi ngaphakathi, ugcwalise imiphunga yakho ngomoya kwaye ugcine ingqondo yakho kumoya wakho. Exhale kwaye uve umphefumlo wakho xa ungena kwaye uphuma emzimbeni wakho. Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba aphefumle ngexesha elinzima, naye.
• Camngca. Ukugxila ekuphefumlweni yinxalenye enkulu yokucamngca. Kuya kufuneka ukrobe nje imizuzu embalwa yonke imihla ukuze unxibelelane ngokwakho. Jonga i-YouTube ngokuzilolonga ngokukhululekileyo. Ukucamngca ngomzuzu-10 okukhokelwa yi-The Honest Guys kune ngaphezulu kwe-7.5 yezigidi zokujonga kunye neetoni zezimvo ezilungileyo. Unokufumana iinkqubo zabantwana. IHorizon entsha ibonelela ngamakhulu engqondo kunye nokuzilolonga abantwana bayo yonke iminyaka.

Ukuthatha

Ngexesha elizayo xa ukwimeko yokuba ngumzali apho uziva ungavuthela umphezulu wakho, thatha umzuzwana ukuba ume. Thatha umoya omninzi ngaphakathi kwaye uphefumle ngokupheleleyo. Ngenisa kwiimvakalelo zakho, kwindawo ekungqongileyo, kunye namava omntwana wakho. Kwaye emva koko sebenzela ukwamkelwa ngalo mzuzu ngaphandle kokubhadula kwiingcinga zangaphambili okanye ezizayo.

Awungekhe uphumelele ekubeni ukonwaba engqondweni amaxesha ambalwa okuqala xa uzama le ndlela intsha yokuba ngumzali. Kwaye kulungile ukuthandabuza. Kodwa, emva kwethutyana, unokufumanisa ukuba ukuthatha umzuzwana ngaphambi kokuba uphendule kunciphisa uxinzelelo lwakho kwaye kuya kuba nefuthe elihle kumntwana wakho.