Le Ndlela ye-5-Iza kukunceda utshintshe iipateni zeemvakalelo ezingasebenziyo

Umxholo

• Yeyiphi indlela yeShift Stirrer, ngokuchanekileyo?
• Yenziwe njani le ndlela
• Yintoni eyenza ukuba ikhetheke
• Yintoni oochwephesha abacinga ngayo malunga neShift Gqugquzela Indlela
• Uphengululo lwe

Ngaba ujonge ukumba kwihlabathi lakho leemvakalelo ngakumbi ngo-2021? Abantu abaninzi (ingakumbi abo bangekayi kunyango) banobunzima bokufikelela kwiimvakalelo kunye nokuchonga apho izinto ezithile zivela khona. UTinamarie Clark -imodeli, umama, kunye nombhali ngoku-ufuna ukutshintsha loo nto.

UClark wenza i-Shift Stirrer Method njengendlela yokufikelela kwiimvakalelo ezinzima kunye nokunciphisa izinto ezibangela iimvakalelo, kwaye emva kokuzisebenzisa ngokwakhe amashumi amabini eminyaka, wayiguqula yincwadi yomsebenzi abelana ngayo nabantu.

Yeyiphi indlela yeShift Stirrer, ngokuchanekileyo?

I-Shift Stirrer Method isebenzisa indlela kaClark yokucinga ngamanyathelo amahlanu "ukuguqula iipatheni zokucinga ezingalunganga kunye nokunciphisa iinkolelo zibe zixhobisa ngakumbi." Injongo iyonke kukukhuthaza abantu basetyhini ukuba banxibelelane ngokunzulu kubo nakwabanye, utsho uClark.

Indlela iyafumaneka kwintengiso kwifom yencwadi yomsebenzi (nokuba yidijithali okanye ngokwasemzimbeni) -kwaye yahlulwe yangamacandelo amahlanu kunye nokukhuthaza ukusebenzisana. Nalu ulwahlulo olusisiseko, olungamanyathelo ngamanyathelo obuchwephesha:

• Gquba: Yazi ukuba kukho isiphithiphithi ngaphakathi kwakho kunye nokwakha ulwazi malunga nokujikeleza. Chonga indlela oziva ngayo kwaye unike amagama kuyo (unomsindo, uyacaphuka, uxhalabile, uneentloni, uyacaphuka, uphelelwe ngumonde, ubuthathaka, uyazikhusela, njl.).
• Hlala: Hlala nale nto uyivayo kwaye uqaphele ukuba yintoni eza kuwe. Yenza indawo ukuze ube. Zinike ixesha lokuba ungenzi nto. Ukhululeke ngokuziva ungakhululekanga.
• Hluza: Hlalutya eyona nto iqhubekayo engqondweni nasemzimbeni wakho, kwaye ziziphi iingcinga onazo malunga nokwenzekileyo okanye indlela oziva ngayo. Zisa iingcinga ezinemveliso phambili kwaye uyeke amandla angalunganga. Yilapho xa uthatha ubunini obupheleleyo bokungasebenzi kakuhle obuzise ebalini. (Cinga: ukugqwetheka kwengqondo, amabali obuxoki, iingcinga ezigwenxa - isihluzo, umkhethe, okanye umthwalo owuzisa kumava.)
• Yabelana: Yabelana ngebali lakho elichukumisayo kwaye uhluze ngokubalisa ibali elinyanisekileyo. Yintoni eyatyhilwa kwisefa? UClark uyakukhuthaza ukuba ukhethe umntu omthembileyo xa usabelana.
• Shift: Misela uqhagamshelwano oluyinyani. Xa usabelana ngenyaniso yakho, uvula i-portal yokutshintsha. Thatha uluhlu lwezinto ozifundileyo kule nkqubo. Bhiyozela into oyenzileyo kwaye wamkele umsebenzi ongene kuyo.

Yenziwe njani le ndlela

UClark uya kuba ngumntu wokuqala ukukuxelela ukuba akangomntu ononyango- kodwa ufumene indlela emsebenzelayo, kwaye ufuna ukwabelana nabanye ngayo. Into anokungabinazo iziqinisekiso azenzela amava obomi, uthando, uvelwano, kunye namandla awodwa (ethi, i-TBH, ungaziva kwangoko xa uncokola naye). Ukuba wakha wabakho nomntu nomhlobo, udade, okanye umcebisi onawo loo "mphefumlo mdala" amandla-umntu okushiya uzive uthandwa kwaye unikwe amandla-yile nto uthanda ukudibanisa noClark. Ufana nomhlobo obonileyo, ukoyisa okuninzi, kwaye udlulisa unyamezelo kuwe.

Ukukhula kwiCandelo le-8 lezindlu eFiladelfiya kusapho oluhlelelekileyo ngokwezezimali, uClark uchaza ukukhuliswa okunzima apho kuye kwafuneka ukuba "azikhusele ngokwasemphefumlweni" ukuze aphile. Inxalenye yale ndlela kukufunda "ukubeka ikrele phantsi ndikhulule nezixhobo," utshilo.

Xa uClark waqala umsebenzi wakhe wokuba ngumzekelo, wayenomzuzu owakhuthaza le nkqubo; waphulukana nomsebenzi emva kwengxabano nomnye umfuziselo omncinci kwaye waqonda ukuba kufuneka abone ukuba yintoni ebangela ukuba aphulukane nokuphola ngokulula. Uthi umama wakhe wamkhuthaza ukuba ajonge ngaphakathi, kwaye amaqhekeza amancinci ale ndlela aqala ukubengezela. Ngokwenza eyakhe ingxelo yokuvuselela, ukuhlala, ukuhluza, ukwabelana, kunye nokutshintsha, wafumana utshintsho lomntu. Njengomntu omdala, waqonda ukuba kukho into enamandla awayenokuyithetha nabanye, yaye emva kokusebenza nomqeqeshi kwiminyaka embalwa edluleyo, wagqiba kwelokuba akafuni ukuyigcina kuye. Ke, umbono wencwadi yomsebenzi wazalwa.

Yintoni eyenza ukuba ikhetheke

Ngaphambi kokuba ndincokole noClark, iqela lakhe landinika ukufikelela kwincwadi yokusebenza yeShift Stirrer Method. Kwaye ukunyaniseka ngokupheleleyo, andizange ndifune ukuyenza. Ayikuko ukuba andonwabanga ngokushicilela, ukuphononongwa ngokweemvakalelo, okanye ukuphanda ngesakhelo esitsha sezempilo yengqondo, kodwa i-ego yam kunye nengqondo yam ziyalile le ngcinga. Kukho ugxininiso kule ndlela "yokuba ngumnini wakho ombi," kwaye uphendule malunga nokuba yeyiphi i-negativity onokuthi ubambelele kuyo. Kuya kufuneka umbe kwizinto ezingaziva zikhulu kangako, kwaye ukungavumi kwam ukwala lo mkhuba ungonwabisiyo ubonakaliswa kukuzibekel 'amangomso okukhulu.

Kodwa eneneni yinxalenye yomlingo ekwenzeni lo msebenzi - kwaye, ngokukaClark, yindlela eqhelekileyo yokusabela. Uthi: “Ukuzivumela ukuba uhlale uneemvakalelo ezingaphucukanga sisenzo senkalipho. "Lo ayingomsebenzi ulula." (Inxulumene: Kutheni Uziva Ngokwasemzimbeni Njenge Shit Emva Konyango, Ichazwa ziiNkqubo zeMpilo yeNgqondo)

UClark ubonakalisa umbono wokususa isikrweqe somoya ngevignette yeSamurai ngexesha "lokuhlala" kwendlela. "Amajoni ama-Samurai aqeqeshelwe ukuba angaze abekho kwindawo yokungenisa," utshilo. "Kodwa ngeti kunye neenkokheli zoluntu lwabo, bahlala kwindawo ebizwa ngokuba yi-seiza. Ngale ndlela, i-Samurai ayinakukhawuleza ikrele labo; bahleli endaweni yokuzinikela, ngaphandle kokuzikhusela."

Ukuhlala kwi-triggering, incensing, okanye imvakalelo embi ngaphandle kokuphendula yinjongo yakhe kunye nesi sigaba sendlela. “Kukubeka phantsi ikrele,” uyachaza. "Ndiyazi ukuba inokuba yingozi kangakanani ('ikrele'), kwaye ungakanani umgama endinokuzama ngawo ukuzama ukundikhusela - kodwa bendidiniwe kukucoca [iziphumo] ekukhutsheni ikrele ngokukhawuleza lonke ixesha."

Ukuba i-reactivity yeemvakalelo yinto osokolayo nayo okanye ukuba uzifumana kwiipateni eziphindaphindiweyo, eli nyathelo lendlela linokuba luncedo ngakumbi. "Sithatha amabali akudala, kwaye siyazikopa kwaye sizincamathisele; sizigqithisela kwimeko zethu zangoku kunye nobudlelwane," utshilo uClark.

Ngokomzekelo, ufumene ipateni ephindaphindiweyo kunye nomhlobo obizwa ngokuba yi "No-Show Chlo." Uchaze umhlobo wakhe (amthandayo) njengongenangqondo kwaye engafaki xesha okanye umgudu wokumbona. Ekugqibeleni, waqonda ukuba akamcaphukanga uChloe - ulukhuphele ngaphandle ulonwabo lwakhe, kwaye wayefumana inkolelo yokuba xa lo mhlobo engabonakali, oko kwakuthetha ukuba akamthandi. (Eyeleleneyo: Iimpawu zokuthi ukubudlelwane obuyityhefu)

Emva kokuba enze umsebenzi wokuhlala kwimvakalelo yakhe, ebuza ukuba kutheni evakalelwa ngolu hlobo, "wakhulula [uChloe] kumsebenzi wakhe wokuba yinto ethile, waza wamchukumisa ngakumbi," uchaza uClark. "Itshintshe ubudlelwane bethu ngokusisiseko." Lo yayingumkhwa ophindaphindiweyo weemvakalelo zokuziva engaxabisekanga ekukhuleni kwakhe awayezithabathele ebuntwini obukhulu ngokungazi.

UClark wazifundisa ukubeka phantsi ikrele kunye nokususa isikrweqe, kwaye abelane ngendlela yakhe yokwenza njalo kwiNdlela yeShift Stirrer, ukuze nabani na azizamele.

Yintoni oochwephesha abacinga ngayo malunga neShift Gqugquzela Indlela

Ngokubanzi, eli phephancwadi sisiqalo esihle somsebenzi weemvakalelo, utshilo ugqirha wezifo zengqondo uJennifer Musselman, MA, LMFT, umseki weZiko leMusselman loBunkokeli kwiNkcazo kunye noNyango loMtshato. Kwihlabathi lonyango, oku kufana nokufunda iiABCs. "Lihle inyathelo lokuqala elisisiseko kulwazi lomntu okanye uphuhliso, ngakumbi kwabo bangenzanga phuhliso okanye unyango," utshilo.

Ngokubanzi, abantu abaninzi babi kakhulu ekuchongeni nasekuqhubeni iimvakalelo-ngakumbi ezingalunganga, utshilo u-Elizabeth Cohen, Ph.D., ugqirha wezengqondo ojolise kunyango lokuziphatha. Olu hlobo lokubhalwa kweendaba, ukucamngca, kunye nokuzifumana ulungile ngexesha le-COVID, kwaye ngakumbi ngeentsuku ezimfutshane nezibandayo zasebusika xa abantu abaninzi beziva bebodwa, benesithukuthezi, kwaye benoxinzelelo, wongeza.

UCohen uthi iShift Stirrer Method iyamkhumbuza "ngenkqubo yokubuyisa iAA," kuba "uthatha uluhlu lwemihla ngemihla lwento oyenzileyo, kunye nendlela onokufuna ukuyitshintsha," uyacacisa. "Ujonga into abayibiza ngokuba 'yiziphene'-igama elibi-kwaye ucingisise. Oku kuzibonakalisa kulungile, kwaye ukuba ngumhlobo weemvakalelo [onazo] kukhulu kakhulu." Uphawula ukuba olu hlobo "lonyango lokwamkela kunye nokuzibophelela lunyango olusekelwe kubungqina bokuxhalaba kunye nokudakumba."

Oku kunika "indlela yokumema yokunceda abantu bafumane ukuqonda ngokubhekisele kwiipateni zobudlelwane obuphikisanayo (okanye iCCRP), utshilo ugqirha wengqondo wezonyango uForrest Talley, Ph.D., umsunguli we-Attictus Psychological Services eFolsom, CA. I-CCRP yingcamango esetyenziselwa ukubonakalisa kunye nokuhlalutya iipateni zobudlelwane obuphindaphindiweyo bomntu (ngokwemigaqo kaClark, oku kubaluleke kakhulu "ukukopa kunye nokunamathisela," ukuziphatha). UTalley ukwatsho ukuba wayechukumisekile xa wayeqala ukufunda ijenali kaClark kuba "ujolise kwingqondo ekhokelwayo (ekhetha ukungqubana aze ayivumele iqhubeke ngengqondo ngokungathi yifilimu), idityaniswe namanyathelo acwangciswe ngokucacileyo okungena ngaphakathi."

Yonke le nto indibetha njengesikhokelo esihle, utshilo uTalley. "Ngaphezu koko, ukubhala kucacile kwaye kucacile kwaye amaphepha okusebenzela abonelela ngezimvo ezixhokonxa iingcinga."

Ngelixa bobathathu abanyangi beyamkela imbono yencwadi yokusebenza ye-SSM njengenyathelo lokuqala, bonke bayavuma ukuba kuya kufuneka uqhubeke ngononophelo ukuba ufumene umothuko. “Kukho u-T omkhulu kunye no-T omncinci,” ucacise watsho uMsselman. "I-Big T ifana nodlwengulo, imfazwe, njl. Njl. Le ncwadi inokuphinda yenzakalise umntu nge-Big T. Ikwabeka ityala kumfundi, ngokungathi zonke iinkolelo zabo, iimvakalelo zabo, kunye neziphumo zabo zibubuxoki. Oko kuyonakalisa kakhulu Amaxhoba 'omngcipheko omncinci.' Njengengxaki yemali okanye yezomthetho, uqhawulo-mtshato okanye uqhawulo-mtshato olubi, njl.

UCohen unikezela ngokuthatha okufanayo esithi "njengonyango osebenza ngomothuko, siyabavumela abantu ukuba bangene kwinto engasebenziyo kunye nento abafuna ukuyilungisa, kodwa sihlala sibamisa kwinto abayenzayo kakuhle," uyachaza. "Ngale ndlela, oku akubophelelwanga ngokwaneleyo, kwaye [kwabo bafumene umothuko], ndingakhuthaza uhlobo oluthile lokujonga indlela osele ufikile ngayo."

Ngale ndlela, uGqr Talley ukholelwa ukuba le ingayincwadi yokuzibandakanya nebalaseleyo kolunye ulwazi olongezelelekileyo- njengonyango lwenyani, okanye inkqubo yokuhambelana.

Ukuba unamava kunyango, ngakumbi unyango lokuziphatha, u-Musselman uthi oku kuya kuziva kuyinto eqhelekileyo. Ukuba awukwenzi oko, "wonke umntu kufuneka aqale kwenye indawo," uyacacisa, eqaphela ukuba kubalulekile ukugxininisa ukuba ayisiyonyango leyo.

Ukuya kuthi ga ngoku iijenali, le inamandla amakhulu. Amandla, ingcinga, nothando olulethwe nguClark lwenza indlela entle kakhulu (nangona inzima!), Kwaye xa idityaniswa nonyango okanye isikhokelo sonyango, oku kunokuba yinguqu ngokupheleleyo kwindlela oziva ngayo.

Uphengululo lwe