Yandinceda njani enye iTattoo ukuba yoyise ubomi bam bokungazithembi malunga nokukhubazeka kwam emzimbeni

Umxholo

• Kwaye le yayingeyiyo i-tattoo yakudala-yayiyinto entle, enjengeenkwenkwezi kuyilo lwam lasekhohlo
• Emva koko ndafumanisa umhlaba wokuzola njengomntu omtsha ekholejini

Impilo kunye nokuphila kakuhle kuchaphazela ngamnye wethu ngokwahlukileyo. Eli libali lomntu omnye.

Xa ndandihlala phantsi ndenza itattoo ngesandla sam sasekhohlo ngo-2016, ndazithatha njengegqala lomvambo. Nangona ndandineentloni zeminyaka engama-20 ubudala, ndandichitha lonke ixesha, amandla kunye nemali endinokuyifumana ekukhuliseni ingqokelela yam yomvambo. Ndandithanda inkalo nganye yokubonisa umvambo, kangangokuba nge-19, njengomfundi wasekholejini ohlala ezilalini eNew York, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndibhale umva wesandla sam.

Okwangoku, kwixesha apho abantu abadumileyo banxiba iitattoo zabo ezibonakalayo ngokuzingca, uninzi lweetattoos amagcisa asabhekisa koku kubekwa njenge- "umsebenzi wokumisa" kuba kunzima ukufihla. Ndiyazile le nto ukusukela ngala mhla ndaya kumculi, uZach, ukubhukisha ukutyunjwa kwam.

Kwaye ngelixa uZach ngokwakhe evakalisa ukuthandabuza ukwenza umvambo kwisandla somfazi omncinci, ndema nkqi: Imeko yam yayihlukile, ndanyanzelisa. Ndenze uphando lwam. Ndiyazi ukuba ndiza kukwazi ukufumana uhlobo oluthile lomsebenzi kwimidiya. Ngaphandle koko, bendisele ndinesiqalo semikhono emibini egcweleyo.

Kwaye le yayingeyiyo i-tattoo yakudala-yayiyinto entle, enjengeenkwenkwezi kuyilo lwam lasekhohlo

Isandla sam "esincinci".

Ndazalwa ndine-ectrodactyly, ukuzalwa ndinesiphene sokuzalwa esichaphazela isandla sam sasekhohlo. Oko kuthetha ukuba ndizalwe ndineminwe engaphantsi kwe-10 kwisandla esinye. Imeko inqabile kwaye iqikelelwa ukuba ichaphazele abantwana abazelweyo.

Inkcazo-ntetho yayo iyahluka ngokwamatyala. Ngamanye amaxesha iba ngamazwe amabini, oko kuthetha ukuba ichaphazela omabini amacala omzimba, okanye inxenye yesifo esibi kakhulu nesisongela ubomi. Kwimeko yam, ndinamanani amabini ngakwesobunxele sam, esenziwe njenge-clawster's claw. (Khwaza u-Evan Peters '"uLobster Boy" kwi "American Horror Story: Freak Show" okokuqala kunye nexesha kuphela endakha ndayibona imeko yam imelwe kwimidiya edumileyo.)

Ngokungafaniyo neLobster Boy, ndinobunewunewu bokuphila ubomi obulula, obuzinzileyo. Abazali bam bafaka ukuzithemba kum ndisemncinci, kwaye xa imisebenzi elula-edlala kwimivalo yeenkawu kwisikolo samabanga aphantsi, ndifunda ukuchwetheza kwiklasi yekhompyuter, ndikhonza ibhola ngexesha lezifundo zetenisi- zazinzima ngenxa yesiphene sam, ndandifane ndivumele ukukhathazeka kwam ndibambe.

Abantu endandifunda nabo kunye nootitshala bandixelela ukuba "ndinesibindi," "ndiyakhuthaza." Ngokwenyani, bendisinda nje, ndifunda ukuziqhelanisa nehlabathi apho ukukhubazeka kunye nokufikeleleka kuhlala kusemva koko. Andizange ndikhethe.

Ngelishwa kum, ayizizo zonke iingxaki ezinje ngesiqhelo okanye ezisombululeka ngokulula njengexesha lokudlala okanye ubuchule bekhompyuter.

Ngexesha lokungena kwam kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo, "isandla sam esincinci," njengoko usapho lwam sasilubiza njalo, saba yinto ebangela iintloni. Ndandiyintombazana ekwishumi elivisayo ndikhula ndikhangeleka ngathi ndithathele phezulu, kwaye isandla sam esincinci yayiyenye nje into "engaqhelekanga" ngam andinakuyitshintsha.

Ihlazo lakhula xa ndifumana ubunzima kwaye ndaphinda ndabona ukuba andikho tye. Ndaziva ngathi umzimba wam undingcatshile kaninzi. Njengokuba ukubonakala ndikhubazekile kwakungonelanga, ngoku ndandiyidyke yamafutha kungekho mntu ufuna ukuba ngumhlobo. Ndiye ndayeka ukuba ngumntu ongathandekiyo.

Nanini na xa ndidibana nomntu omtsha, bendifihla isandla sam esincinci epokothweni yebhulukhwe okanye ibhatyi yam ngelizama ukugcina "ubungqingqwa" bungabonakali. Oku kwenzeka rhoqo kangangokuba ukuyifihla kwaba yinto engenasiphelo, enye ndandingayazi loo nto xa umhlobo wayikhomba kakuhle, ndothuka.

Emva koko ndafumanisa umhlaba wokuzola njengomntu omtsha ekholejini

Ndiqale kancinci - stick'n 'pokes from a ex-girlfriend, tattoos ezincinci on my forearm - kwaye kungekudala ndazibona ndikhathazeka yile fomu yobugcisa.

Ngelo xesha, ndandingakwazi ukuchaza ukutsalwa endikuvayo, indlela studio ye tattoo kwidolophu yasekholejini yanditsala ngayo njengenundu kwilangatye. Ngoku, ndiyaqonda ukuba ndaziva ndikulungele ukubonakala kwam okokuqala ebomini bam.

Njengoko ndandihleli esitulweni sesikhumba kwisitudiyo sabucala sikaZach, ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba ndiziqinisa ngentlungu endandiza kuyinyamezela, izandla zam zaqala ukungcangcazela ngokungalawuleki. Oku kwakungeyona nto yam yokuqala, kodwa ubunzima beli qhekeza, kunye nefuthe lokubeka endaweni enobungozi kwaye ebonakalayo, yandibetha kanye kanye.

Ngethamsanqa, andizange ndigungqe ixesha elide. UZach udlale umculo wokucamngca opholileyo kwisitudiyo sakhe, naphakathi kokukhetha kunye nokuthetha naye, uvalo lwam lwathotha ngokukhawuleza. Ndilume umlomo wam ngexesha leendawo ezinoburhabaxa kwaye ndiphefumla ukuthula ngokuthula ngexesha lokulula.

Iseshoni yonke ihlale malunga neeyure ezimbini okanye ezintathu. Ukugqiba kwethu, wasisonga sonke isandla sam eSaran Wrap, ndaza ndayiwangawuzisa ngokungathi ngumvuzo, ndimana ukurhalela endlebeni.

Oku kuvela kwintombazana echithe iminyaka ifihla isandla sayo ukuba ingajongwa.

Isandla sam sonke sasibomvu kwaye sithambile, kodwa ndavela kweso sikhundla ndiziva ndikhaphukhaphu, ndikhululekile kwaye ndinolawulo ngakumbi kunakuqala.

Ndandihombisile isandla sam sasekhohlo-i-bane yobukho bam okoko nje ndikhumbula-ngento entle, into endiyikhethileyo. Ndijike into endifuna ukuyifihla ibe yinxalenye yomzimba wam endithanda ukwabelana ngayo.

Kude kube namhla, ndinxiba obu bugcisa ngokuzingca. Ndizifumana ndikhupha isandla sam esincinci epokothweni. Isihogo, ngamanye amaxesha ndikhe ndiyibonise kwiifoto ezikwi-Instagram. Kwaye ukuba ayithethi kumandla eeTattoo ukuguqula, andazi ukuba yintoni eyenzayo.

USam Manzella ngumbhali osekwe eBrooklyn kunye nomhleli ogubungela impilo yezengqondo, ubugcisa nenkcubeko, kunye nemicimbi ye-LGBTQ. Ukubhala kwakhe kuvele kupapasho olunje ngeVice, Yahoo Lifestyle, Logo's NewNowNext, The Riveter, kunye nokuninzi. Mlandele kwi-Twitter nakwi-Instagram.