Ukuya kunyango njengoGqirha wezifo zengqondo akazange andincede nje. Incede Izigulana Zam.

Umxholo

• Ndim owayenzelwe ukunceda abanye - hayi enye indlela
• Ukuvula nokwamkela 'indima' entsha kwakunzima
• Ndikhulele kwinkcubeko apho ukufuna uncedo kwakubekwa amabala kakhulu
• Ayikho incwadi enokukufundisa ukuba kunjani ukuhlala esihlalweni somguli
• Umgca wezantsi

Omnye ugqirha wengqondo uxoxa ngendlela unyango olwamnceda ngayo yena nezigulana zakhe.

Kunyaka wam wokuqala njengomhlali wezifo zengqondo kuqeqesho ndaye ndajamelana nemiceli mngeni emininzi, ngakumbi ukushiya usapho kunye nabahlobo bam okokuqala ngqa.Kwakunzima ukuhlengahlengisa ukuhlala kwindawo entsha ndaza ndaqala ndaziva ndidandathekile kwaye ndikhumbula ekhaya, nto leyo eyakhokelela ekubeni ndehle kwizifundo zam.

Njengomntu ozijonga njengogqibeleleyo, ndiye ndatyhafiswa xa emva koko ndibekwa kuvavanyo lwezifundo- nangakumbi ke xa ndafumanisa ukuba elinye lamagama olingo lwam kukuba kufuneka ndiqale ndibone unyango.

Ukujonga emva kumava am, nangona kunjalo, yayiyenye yezona zinto zibalaseleyo ezakha zenzeka kum - hayi kuphela kwintlalontle yam yobuqu, kodwa nakwizigulana zam.

Ndim owayenzelwe ukunceda abanye - hayi enye indlela

Ukuqala kwam ukuxelelwa ukuba ndifuna ukufuna iinkonzo zonyango, bendiya kuba ndiyaxoka ukuba ndingathi andinanzondo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ndim ekufuneka ndicingele ukunceda abantu hayi enye indlela, akunjalo?

Kuyavela ukuba, ndandindedwa kule ngqondo.

Umbono ngokubanzi kuluntu lwezonyango kukuba umzabalazo ulingana nobuthathaka, oku kubandakanya ukufuna ukubona ugqirha.

Ngapha koko, uphononongo olwenziwe koogqirha lwafumanisa ukuba uloyiko lokuxela kwibhodi yeelayisensi yezonyango kunye nenkolelo yokuba ukufunyanwa unengxaki yempilo yengqondo yayihlazisa okanye ihlazo zizizathu ezibini eziphambili zokungafuni uncedo.

Emva kokutyala imali eninzi kwimfundo nakumakhondo omsebenzi, iziphumo ezinokubakho zoqeqesho zihlala zisoyika kakhulu kumagqirha, ngakumbi kuba amanye amazwe afuna ukuba oogqirha baxele ingxelo yokufumanisa isifo kunye nonyango kwiibhodi zethu zelayisensi yezonyango zikarhulumente.

Nangona kunjalo, bendisazi ukuba ndifuna uncedo kwimpilo yam yengqondo bekungekho kuthethathethwano.

Isenzo esingaqhelekanga Ngaphandle kwabagqatswa abaqeqeshelwa ukuba ngabahlalutyi beengqondo kunye nakwezinye iinkqubo zokuthweswa izidanga, ukubona ugqirha ngexesha loqeqesho akufuneki ukuba asebenzise unyango lwengqondo eMelika.

Ukuvula nokwamkela 'indima' entsha kwakunzima

Ekugqibeleni ndafumana itherapist eyayindifanele.

Ekuqaleni, amava okuya kunyango abonisa ubunzima kum. Njengomntu othintele ukuvula malunga neemvakalelo zam, ukucelwa ukuba ndenze oku nomntu ongamaziyo kwaphela kwimeko yezobugcisa kwakunzima.

Ngaphezu, kuthathe ixesha ukuziqhelanisa nendima njengomthengi, kunokuba ingcali. Ndikhumbula amaxesha apho bendizokwabelana ngemicimbi yam nonyango lwam, kwaye ndizame ukuzihlalutya ndize ndiqikelele ukuba uthini ugqirha wam.

Indlela eqhelekileyo yokuzikhusela kwiingcali kukuthanda ukuqonda kuba igcina impendulo yethu kwimiba yobuqu kwinqanaba lomgangatho kunokuba sizivumele ukuba singene nzulu kwiimvakalelo zethu.

Ngethamsanqa, ugqirha wam wabona oku kwaye wandinceda ukuba ndivavanye olu tyekelo lokuzihlalutya.

Ndikhulele kwinkcubeko apho ukufuna uncedo kwakubekwa amabala kakhulu

Ukongeza ekuzabalazaneni nezinto ezithile zeeseshoni zam zonyango, ndaye ndadibana nehlazo lokufuna uncedo kwimpilo yam yengqondo njengabantu abambalwa.

Ndikhuliswe kwinkcubeko apho impilo yengqondo ihlala ibekelwe bucala kwaye, ngenxa yoku, yenza ukuba ndibone unyango olunzima ngakumbi kum. Usapho lwam luvela kwiiPhilippines kwaye ekuqaleni bendisoyika ukubaxelela ukuba kufuneka ndithathe inxaxheba kunyango lwengqondo njengenxalenye yemigaqo yovavanyo lwam lwezifundo.

Ukuya kwinqanaba elithile, nangona kunjalo, ukusebenzisa le mfuno yezifundo njengesizathu esibonelela ngemvakalelo yokukhululeka, ngakumbi kuba abafundi bahlala bephambili kwiintsapho zasePhilippines.

Ukunika abaguli bethu ithuba lokuba bavakalise inkxalabo yabo kubenza bazive bebonwa kwaye beviwe, kwaye iphinda ithi bangabantu-hayi nje isifo.

Ngokubanzi, ubuhlanga kunye nobuhlanga obuncinci abanamathuba okufumana ukhathalelo lwempilo yengqondo, kwaye ikakhulu uninzi lwabasetyhini kunqabile ukuba lufune unyango lwempilo yengqondo.

Unyango lwamkelwa ngokubanzi kwinkcubeko yaseMelika, kodwa imbono yayo yokuba isetyenziswa njengodidi lwezityebi, abantu abamhlophe bahlala.

Kwakhona kunzima kakhulu kubafazi abanemibala ukuba bafune unyango lwempilo yengqondo ngenxa yocalucalulo lwenkcubeko, oluquka umfanekiso womfazi oMnyama oqinileyo okanye uhlobo lwabantu abantu baseAsia abayi "modeli encinci."

Nangona kunjalo, ndandinethamsanqa.

Ngelixa bendifumana uluvo "makuthandaze nje" okanye "yomelele nje", usapho lwam luphele lukuxhasa iiseshoni zam zonyango emva kokubona utshintsho oluqinisekileyo kwindlela endiziphethe ngayo nokuzithemba.

Ayikho incwadi enokukufundisa ukuba kunjani ukuhlala esihlalweni somguli

Ekugqibeleni ndakhula ndikulungele ngakumbi ukwamkela uncedo lonyango lwam. Ndakwazi ukuyeka kwaye ndathetha ngokukhululekileyo ngento ebisengqondweni yam kunokuba ndizame ukuba ngugqirha kunye nesigulana.

Ngaphezu koko, ukuya kunyango kwandivumela ukuba ndiqonde ukuba andindedwa kumava am kwaye ndasusa naziphi na iintloni endinazo malunga nokufuna uncedo. Oku, ngakumbi, yayingamava axabisekileyo xa kufikwa ekusebenzeni nezigulana zam.

Akukho ncwadi inokukufundisa ukuba kunjani ukuhlala esihlalweni somguli okanye nangomzabalazo wokwenza nje idinga lokuqala.

Ngenxa yamava am, nangona kunjalo, ndiyazi ngakumbi indlela enokubangela ukuxhalaba ngayo, kungekuphela nje ukuxoxa ngemicimbi yobuqu-eyadlulayo neyangoku-kodwa ukufuna uncedo kwasekuqaleni.

Xa ndidibana nesigulana okokuqala esinokuziva sisoyika kwaye sinentloni ngokuza, ndihlala ndivuma ukuba kunzima kanjani ukufuna uncedo. Ndijonge ukunceda ukunciphisa ibala lamava ngokubakhuthaza ukuba bavule uloyiko lwabo lokubona ugqirha wezifo zengqondo, kunye neenkxalabo malunga nokufumanisa isifo kunye neelebheli.

Ngaphezu koko, ngenxa yokuba iintloni zinokuzahlula, ndiyahlala ndigxininisa ngexesha leseshoni ukuba le yintsebenziswano kwaye ndiza kwenza konke okusemandleni ukubanceda bafezekise iinjongo zabo. ”

Ukunika abaguli bethu ithuba lokuba bavakalise inkxalabo yabo kubenza bazive bebonwa kwaye beviwe, kwaye iphinda ithi bangabantu-hayi nje isifo.

Umgca wezantsi

Ndiyakholelwa ngokwenene ukuba wonke umntu oqeqeshiweyo kwezempilo yengqondo kufuneka abe namava onyango ngaxa lithile.

Umsebenzi esiwenzayo unzima kwaye kubalulekile ukuba siqhubekeke nemiba eza kunyango nakubomi bethu bobuqu. Ukongeza, akukho luvo lukhulu lokwazi ukuba kunjani kwizigulana zethu kwaye kunzima kangakanani umsebenzi esiwenzayo kunyango kude kube kufuneka sihlale esihlalweni somguli.

Ngokunceda abaguli bethu baqhubele phambili kwaye bavule malunga nemizabalazo yabo, amava amnandi okuba kunyango ayabonakala kwaba babangqongileyo.

Kwaye okukhona sisazi ukuba impilo yethu yengqondo yinto ephambili, kokukhona sinokuxhasana kwiindawo esihlala kuzo kwaye sikhuthazane ukuba sifumane uncedo nonyango esilufunayo.

Ugqirha Vania Manipod, DO, ngugqirha wezifo zengqondo oqinisekisiweyo, uncedisayo ngunjingalwazi wezonyango kwiYunivesithi yaseNtshona yezeMpilo, kwaye okwangoku e-Ventura, California. Ukholelwa kwindlela epheleleyo yokunyanga ngengqondo ebandakanya iindlela zokwenza unyango ngengqondo, ukutya, kunye nendlela yokuphila, ukongeza kulawulo lwamayeza xa kubonisiwe. Ugqirha Manipod uye wakha oku kulandelayo kwilizwe liphela kwimithombo yeendaba ezisekwe kwimisebenzi yakhe yokunciphisa ibala lempilo yengqondo, ngakumbi nge-Instagram kunye nebhlog yakhe, uFreud kunye neFashoni. Ngapha koko, uthethe kwilizwe lonke ngezihloko ezinjengokudinwa, ukonzakala kwengqondo ebuhlungu, kunye nemidiya yoluntu.