Ngobuhlobo obunetyhefu? Nantsi into ekufuneka ujonge kuyo (kunye nendlela yokuyiphatha)

Umxholo

• Wenza ntoni umhlobo onetyhefu
• Iintsuku ezimbi ngokuchasene neentshukumo ezimbi
• Beka phantsi
• Ukuhleba
• Cela uxolo ngaphandle kokunyaniseka
• Kukwenza uzive usoyika
• Shiya ungazinzanga
• Thelekisa wena nabanye abantu
• Zibeke ngaphambili nakwiziko-rhoqo
• Zama ukukutshintsha
• Ubuhlobo obunetyhefu bukuchaphazela njani
• Uziva ulilolo kwaye ulilolo
• Uxinzelelo lwakho luyanda
• Ungaziva uxhaswa
• Ukuzithemba nokuzithemba kwakho kuthabatha indawo
• Uzibek 'ityala ngokuziphatha kwabo
• Uhlala uziva ukhululekile
• Olunye ulwalamano lwakho luyasokola
• Ke, ngoku?
• Kulungile ukufuna ukunika ithuba lesibini…
• … Kodwa oku akusoloko kungumbono olungileyo
• Thatha indawo ngokwakho
• Beka imida
• Ziqhelise ngaphambi kwexesha
• Yiba ngqo
• Cinga ngononophelo ngaphambi kokuba ubuyele kunxibelelwano
• Vula kwabanye
• Kuthekani ukuba sinabahlobo?
• Zikhathalele
• Umgca wezantsi

Abahlobo banceda ekwenzeni ubomi bube nenjongo. Banikela ngenkxaso kwezentlalo nangokweemvakalelo, banciphise iimvakalelo zokuba lilolo, kwaye bakuncede uzive wonwabile kwaye wanelisekile bubomi.

Ukugcina unxibelelwano lwasentlalweni kunokude kwenze bude ubomi bakho kunye nokunciphisa umngcipheko wokukhathazeka ngempilo yengqondo nangokwasemzimbeni, kubandakanya uxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo lwegazi.

Obunye ubuhlobo bunokungabinampembelelo ilungileyo. Abanye banokuba yingozi kakhulu.

Ubuhlobo obunetyhefu bunokuthatha iindlela ezahlukeneyo, kodwa ngokubanzi ziyakunyibilikisa engqondweni kwaye zinendlela yokukuhlisa endaweni yokwakha.

Ukucinga ukuba ububona njani ubuhlobo obunetyhefu? Awuqinisekanga ukuba ungayenza njani le meko okanye ingakuchaphazela njani? Silapha ukunceda ngeengcebiso ezingama-25 zokuqonda kunye nokujongana nabahlobo ababangela ingozi ngakumbi kunokonwaba.

Wenza ntoni umhlobo onetyhefu

Wonke umntu uneentsuku ezintle nezimbi. Ngosuku olubi, ububele abuhlali buza lula, nkqu nakwabo ubathandayo. Ke, ungawuchaza njani umahluko phakathi komhlobo oyityhefu yokwenyani kunye nomntu onosuku olubi nje?

Iintsuku ezimbi ngokuchasene neentshukumo ezimbi

Umhlobo olungileyo onosuku olubi unokukuqubula okanye abonakale ekude, kodwa baya kucela uxolo xa izinto zizinzile.

Abahlobo abanetyhefu, kwelinye icala, bathambekele ekulandeleni iphethini engaze yehle ngokwenene. Abayi kubonisa ukuzisola okukhulu okanye utyekelo lokutshintsha, nditsho naxa beqonda ukuba bakwenze wazisola.

Nazi ezinye izinto anokuzenza umhlobo onetyhefu:

Beka phantsi

Abahlobo bahlala behlekisana, kunye nokuhlekisa okuncinci akuthethi ukuba ubuhlobo bakho bunetyhefu, ngakumbi ukuba uyahleka, nawe.

Xa umhlobo wakho ejongela phantsi rhoqo kwaye ekwenza uzive ungonwabanga, nokuba basebenzise iindlela ezichuliweyo zokukucekisa okanye izithuko eziqinisekileyo, ubuhlobo bakho mhlawumbi abuyonto isempilweni.

Ukuhleba

Uxelele umhlobo into ngokuzithemba, kwaye ngosuku olulandelayo, isangqa sakho sonke ekuhlaleni siyazazi iinkcukacha.

Nabani na onokutyibilika athethe izinto angafanelekanga. Abahlobo abanetyhefu banokubonakala ngathi bayakonwabela ukusasaza iimfihlo macala onke, naxa ubacela ukuba bagcine iinkcukacha zabo zangasese ziyimfihlo.

Umntu osoloko ephula ukuthembana kwakho akakhathali kangako ngeemvakalelo zakho.

Cela uxolo ngaphandle kokunyaniseka

Xa ubabizela ngaphandle kwendlela abaziphethe ngayo, bayayekisa uxinzelelo lwakho okanye bathi, "Uxolo."

Endaweni yokuthatha ixesha lokujonga umbono wakho, bathi, "Ndiyaxolisa ukuba uziva njalo" okanye balandele uxolo lwabo ngokuzikhusela "kodwa."

Uyazi enye: "Ndiyaxolisa ndikwenzakalisile, kodwa yayilihlaya nje.“

Oku kungaxolisi kubonisa ukuba umntu akakhathali ngokwenene ukuba izenzo zabo zikuchaphazela njani.

Kukwenza uzive usoyika

Ukungaqiniseki kukodwa akuthethi ukuba umntu unetyhefu, kodwa xa iimpendulo zabo zinokubangela ukwenzakala okanye uzive uhlukumeza, kububulumko ukuqhubeka ngononophelo.

Akukho mntu unokuxelwa kwangaphambili ngokupheleleyo, kodwa kusengqiqweni ukulindela umntu omthembileyo ukuba aveze iimvakalelo zakhe ngendlela ekhuselekileyo nesempilweni.

Mhlawumbi bayacaphuka kakhulu kwaye bakukhwaze ngenxa yezinto ezincinci, njengokulibala ukucima umabonwakude okanye ukungabuyisi ibhatyi abakuboleke yona. Ke, ngomzuzu olandelayo benza ngokungathi akwenzekanga nto.

Ukuba awusoze wazi ukuba baya kusabela njani, usenokuba nexesha elinzima lokuziva ukhululekile xa uphakathi kwabo.

Shiya ungazinzanga

Ukuchitha ixesha kunye nomhlobo osenyongweni kuya kukwenza uzive ulungile, ngokuthetha ngokubanzi. Mhlawumbi ukuchitha ixesha kunye nomhlobo othile kukushiya ungakhululekanga okanye ucaphukile.

Usenokungabinayo nenkcazo elungileyo yokuba kutheni, kodwa xa ubashiya, uziva ukhululeke ngakumbi kunokudana, kwaye awulindelanga ukuchitha ixesha nabo.

Ukuba uqaphela le mvakalelo ingazinzanga, cinga ngokuvavanya ubuhlobo bakho kwezinye iimpawu zokuba izinto azilunganga ncam.

Thelekisa wena nabanye abantu

Ngaba unomhlobo othanda ukubonisa iindlela ongazilinganisiyo nabanye abahlobo? Mhlawumbi indlu yakho incinci kunendlu ka-X ngoko ke akumnandi ukuhlala nawe. Okanye ukunxiba ngakumbi njengo-Y kuya kukwenza upholile.

Abantu baneempawu zabo ezizodwa kunye neyantlukwano, kwaye umhlobo olungileyo uyakuqonda oku. Abayi kukuthelekisa nabanye okanye bathethe ukuba ngandlela thile ungaphantsi komnye umntu. Ngokuqinisekileyo abayisebenzisi ingcinezelo yoontanga ukwenza ukuba wenze izinto ongathanda ukungazenzi, nazo.

Zibeke ngaphambili nakwiziko-rhoqo

Wakhe waba nomhlobo wemozulu olungileyo? Bayeka xa izinto zihamba kakuhle okanye xa befuna into, kodwa nini nguwe ubunzima, awukwazi ukufikelela kubo konke konke.

Abanye abahlobo banokuqhubeka kangangeyure malunga neengxaki zabo zamva nje. Xa begqiba ukukhupha, banikezela ngomqondiso, "Unjani?" ngaphambi kokukhawuleza babuyisele incoko kubo.

Abahlobo bokwenene abathathi nje. Banikezela ngovelwano malunga neenkxalabo zakho, kwiimeko ezintle, ezimbi, okanye naphi na phakathi.

Zama ukukutshintsha

Umntu ozama ukutshintsha izinto ngawe usenokungabi ngumhlobo olungileyo.

Umhlobo wenene uyaqonda ukuba abantu banobuntu obahlukeneyo, kwaye baya kukumkela ngokwakho. Ukuba ucela isikhokelo kwinto ongathanda ukuyitshintsha, banokubonelela ngenkxaso kunye nenkuthazo- kodwa baya kulinda ukuba ubuze endaweni yokukuxelela into omele uyenze.

Yithi uyasokola kuseto lwasentlalweni kwaye ufuna ukuba ngcono xa udibana nabantu abatsha. Umhlobo olungileyo unokucebisa ukuba uze kumdlalo wabo olandelayo ebusuku ukuze bakwazise nakwabanye abahlobo bakho kwindawo efanelekileyo.

Ubuhlobo obunetyhefu bukuchaphazela njani

Ubuhlobo obunetyhefu bunokuba nefuthe elihle kwimpilo-ntle kwaye hayi ngokuqinisekileyo. Ukuchitha ixesha nabantu abangazikhathalelanga iimvakalelo zakho kunokuchaphazela iimvakalelo zakho kwaye impilo yomzimba.

Ukuba uqaphela nayiphi na imiqondiso elandelayo emva kokuchitha ixesha nomhlobo, unokufuna ukuqwalasela ukuvavanya ubuhlobo kwakhona.

Uziva ulilolo kwaye ulilolo

Ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo kufuneka kwandise imeko yakho yonxibelelwano.

Ubuhlobo obunetyhefu bunokushiya uziva ungakhathalelwanga endaweni yoko. Ufikelela ekwenzeni izicwangciso, kodwa ushiywe ngaphandle kwimicimbi yeqela kwaye imiyalezo yakho ayiphendulwa (ngaphandle kokuba, kunjalo, bafuna into kuwe).

Kubonakala ngathi abafuni ukuchitha ixesha nawe, kwaye ubuhlobo abukuzalisekisi okanye bungaziva njengobuhlobo konke konke.

Uxinzelelo lwakho luyanda

Ukuncitshiswa koxinzelelo lolunye uncedo oluphambili lobuhlobo obuqinileyo. Ukubona abahlobo kusenokungasoloko kukwenza uzive ungcono ngeepesenti ezili-100, kodwa uya kuqaphela ukuphucuka okuthile.

Umhlobo onetyhefu, kude ekuncedeni ukunciphisa uxinzelelo, unokongeza kuyo. Banokuthetha okanye benze izinto ezikucaphukisayo xa nichitha ixesha kunye, umzekelo.

Naxa ungekho nabo, unokuchitha ixesha elininzi ucinga emva konxibelelwano olubi, olunokukwenza uzive uxakekile, ucaphuka, nokuba mbi kakhulu.

Ungaziva uxhaswa

Abahlobo bokwenene bakunika inkxaso xa uyidinga. Ngokuqinisekileyo, le nkxaso ayisoloko ibonakala. Okona kuncinci, ubuhlobo buquka ukumamela ngovelwano kunye nokunikezela ukuqinisekiswa koxinzelelo kunye nentlungu.

Kobuhlobo obunetyhefu, awusoze uyive loo nkxaso okanye uvelwano. Uziva uncitshisiwe xa besusa iingxaki zakho okanye bengahoyi ngqo xa bengaphenduli kwimiyalezo yakho okanye kwizicelo zoncedo.

Ngamafutshane, azikho kuwe xa ufuna umhlobo kakhulu.

Ukuzithemba nokuzithemba kwakho kuthabatha indawo

Xa umntu eqhubeka ekubeka phantsi aze akuphathe kakubi, ungaqala ukwamkela le ndlela yokuziphatha kwaye uyeke ukulindela nantoni na ebhetele.

Njengoko uqala ukukholelwa ukubeka kwabo phantsi kwaye uqala ukuthandabuza amandla akho kunye nezinto ezinokubakho, ukuzithemba kwakho kungaqala ukuncipha.

Uzibek 'ityala ngokuziphatha kwabo

Esinye isiphumo sokuqhatha? Uqala ukucinga ukuba ungalunganga.

Xa bekhawuleza, ungakholelwa ukuba ufanelekile. Unokuthatha isigqibo sokuba abanakuze bakunike inkxaso kuba ucela uncedo rhoqo. Ke uzama ukuyenza kubo ngokutsiba ngaphakathi ngalo lonke ixesha bafuna into.

Usenokude uzive unombulelo ngokuchitha naliphi na ixesha nawe ukusukela, ngapha koko, bakukhombisile uninzi lweziphene zakho.

Uhlala uziva ukhululekile

Abantu abaziphatha ngeendlela ezinetyhefu bahlala besebenzisa ubuqhetseba ukufumana oko bakufunayo. Ukunyanzelwa kuhlala kushiya umbono wokuba into ayilunganga ncam, nangona ungeke uchonge ukuba yintoni kanye kanye.

Unokuziva ngathi awuyazi into elungileyo oyithethayo okanye oyenzayo. Banokuthatha ngokungangxamanga okanye bakugculele esidlangalaleni, bakushiye ungaqinisekanga ukuba bayinyani na into abayithethayo.

Indlela abasabela ngayo (okanye ukugqithisa) inokuqhubela phambili ngokungalingani kuwe. Ngamanye amaxesha bahleka izinto, ngamanye amaxesha bayakhwaza. Ukungazi ukuba kuzakwenzeka ntoni kungakwenza ukuba udideke ungaqiniseki ukuba ungaqhubeka njani-ngaphandle kolumkiso olukhulu.

Oku kungonwabi kungopha kwezinye iindawo zobomi bakho, kukushiye utsibe kwaye ucaphuke msinya.

Olunye ulwalamano lwakho luyasokola

Ubuhlobo obunye obunetyhefu bunokuhamba buthe chu kodwa buthe chu buqalise ukutyhefa obunye ubudlelwane.

Nje ukuba uqale ukuzithandabuza, unokuzibona njengomhlobo ohlwempuzekileyo. Nokuba awuqali ukuzithandabuza, usenokukufumanisa kunzima ukuthemba abanye. Unokuzibuza ukuba wonke umntu uyakubona uneziphene, uyadika, okanye awuxhasi kwaye uqale ukuthintela abantu ngenxa yoko.

Oku kunokukugcina ungafuni nkxaso kubantu abakukhathaleleyo, kukushiye ulilolo kwaye uwedwa.

Ke, ngoku?

Uqaphele ukuba unobungane obunobuthi, kodwa yintoni elandelayo elandelayo?

Unokukhetha ezimbini eziphambili. Unokufuna ukuzama ukuthetha nomhlobo wakho kuqala. Kungenzeka ukuba abayiqondi nje indlela yokuziphatha kwabo okungathandekiyo ngayo. Ukuba ufuna ukugcina ubuhlobo, oku kunokuba yinto efanelekileyo yokuqala. Olunye ukhetho lubandakanya ukuphelisa ubuhlobo.

Iingcebiso ezingezantsi zinokukunceda uthathe indlela ekhuselekileyo, esempilweni- nokuba yeyiphi na indlela oyikhethayo.

Kulungile ukufuna ukunika ithuba lesibini…

Mhlawumbi bebengasoloko benetyhefu okanye bengayiqondi indlela ezikuchaphazela ngayo izenzo zabo. Abanye abantu yenza Ndifuna inkxaso engaphezulu apha.

Ukuba baziphatha ngeendlela zokuzingca ngaphandle kokubonisa ububi, ukuthetha nabo ngempembelelo yokuziphatha kwabo kunokuphucula izinto.

Sebenzisa “mna” iingxelo kunye nezinye iindlela zonxibelelwano ezinemveliso ukuqala incoko. Thetha ngokuphandle malunga nendlela yokuziphatha kwabo ekwenza uzive ngayo kwaye ujonge ukuseta imida kunxibelelwano lwexesha elizayo.

Umzekelo: “Ndiyakhathazeka xa ndisiva abantu begxeka iinwele zam okanye iimpahla zam. Kwixesha elizayo, nceda ungangcikivi indlela endikhetha ngayo. "

… Kodwa oku akusoloko kungumbono olungileyo

Ukuba ubuhlobo abunazo naziphi na izibonelelo ezilungileyo kuwe, kwaye incoko yakho nabo ayikhange incede namnye, isenokuba lixesha lokuba buphele. Kukwanjalo nangobuhlobo obunqamlezayo bangene kumhlaba oxhaphazayo.

Ungayixelela umntu indlela ezikuchaphazela ngayo izenzo zakhe, kodwa ngekhe umenze atshintshe. Kuya kufuneka bayenze ngokwabo, kwaye ayinguye wonke umntu ozimiseleyo ukwenza iinzame.

Banokuthembisa ukutshintsha kwaye bakuphathe ngcono okwethutyana. Kodwa ukuba baqala ukukujongela phantsi kwakhona okanye babuyela kwezinye iipateni zokuziphatha okunetyhefu, kungcono ukuba uqhubeke.

Thatha indawo ngokwakho

Ukuba uchitha ixesha elininzi unqwenela ukuba umhlobo akuphathe ngcono, kutheni ungakhe uthathe ikhefu kubo okwethutyana kwaye ubone ukuba loluphi utshintsho olwenziweyo?

Ixesha ngaphandle kobuhlobo linokukunceda uhlele iimvakalelo zakho kwaye ufumane ingcaciso kumanyathelo akho alandelayo. Unokubona indlela obubonakala ngayo ubomi bakho ngaphandle kwalomntu ngaphakathi.

Mhlawumbi izinto ziphucuka ngokubonakalayo kwaye uziva ungcono kakhulu xa ungakhathazeki ngokuzibona. Ukuba kunjalo, esi sisizathu esomeleleyo sokucinga ngokuphelisa ubuhlobo.

Beka imida

Ukuba ufuna ukuzama ukugcina ubuhlobo, imida ingundoqo.

Yenza kucace ukuba awuyi kwamkela isimilo esithile, njengokukhwaza, ukuxoka, ukuhleba, okanye ukuphuma kwizicwangciso ngaphandle kwengcaciso.

Usenokucinga ngokuchaza ukuba ezi mpawu zikuchaphazela njani kwaye uza kuphendula uthini.

Umzekelo: "Andikuthandi ukubekwa phantsi, ke ukuba uqhubeka usenza iziqhulo ngendleko zam, asinakudibana."

Ziqhelise ngaphambi kwexesha

Nje ukuba wazi ukuba kufuneka ubuphelise ubuhlobo, baxelele.

Ukuthetha oku buqu ngesiqhelo yeyona nto ilungileyo. Khetha indawo yoluntu enikezela ngemfihlo, njengepaki okanye enye indawo engathathi hlangothi. Ukuba awuziva ukhuselekile, ukubatsalela umnxeba okanye ukubhala ileta nako kunokusebenza. Zama nje ukuphepha ukuphelisa ubuhlobo ngefowuni, ukuba kunokwenzeka.

Phambi kwengxoxo, bhala into ofuna ukuyithetha. Ngaba uza kuchaza izizathu zakho okanye ngokulula uthi ubuhlobo abusasebenzi kuwe? Ukulungelelanisa iingcinga zakho kunye nokuziqhelanisa kwangaphambili (nguwe okanye nomntu omthembileyo) kunokukhulisa ukuzithemba kwakho kwaye kukuncede unamathele kwisigqibo sakho.

Yiba ngqo

Ngelixa inqanaba leenkcukacha olibonelelayo linokuxhomekeka kwiimeko okanye kwimbali yakho naloo mntu, ungabashiyi nakuphi na ukungacaci malunga nenqanaba lobuhlobo bakho.

Basenokungafuni ukubuphelisa ubuhlobo, ngoko ke banokunqumamisa okanye bazame ukuguqula imeko ukuze uzive unetyala. Zama ukungasabeli, nokuba basabela ngomsindo okanye ngomsindo. Phinda isigqibo sakho ngokuzolileyo (kodwa ngokuqinileyo) kwaye uhambe.

Cinga ngononophelo ngaphambi kokuba ubuyele kunxibelelwano

Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokunqamula unxibelelwano, zithembele kwimo yakho kwaye uphephe ukufikelela okanye ukuphendula kwimizamo yokunxibelelana nawe.

Ekuhambeni kwexesha, usenokucinga ngamaxesha amnandi enibe kunye nawo kwaye uzibuze ukuba atshintshile na. Khumbula ukuba kutheni ubuphelisile ubuhlobo. Ukuyiqala ngokutsha kunokukwenza ukuba ube lusizi kwakhona, ke kungcono ukuba udlule ixesha elithile ngaphambi kokuba uqwalasele ukuyiphinda.

Abantu unako Utshintsho, ngokuqinisekileyo, kwaye ukuba umhlobo wakho wolule uxolo ngokungathi unyanisekile, unokuzama ukubuvuselela ubuhlobo. Hambisa kancinci ukuzikhusela.

Vula kwabanye

Ukuzibambisa kubuhlobo obunetyhefu kunokukwenza uzive uneentloni, udidekile okanye ungathembi abanye. Ukuba uziqhelile kwabanye abahlobo, usenokuba nobunzima ekunxibelelaneni kwakhona.

Mhlawumbi unabahlobo abalungileyo abafuna ngokwenene ukunika inkxaso. Ukufikelela kubo kwaye ubachaze ngale meko kunokukunceda uphinde ufumane ubuhlobo obuhle, obunokukunceda uphile.

Kuthekani ukuba sinabahlobo?

Ukuba wena nomhlobo onetyhefu ninabahlobo bobabini, unganexhala lokuba bazakuphendula njani. Ungaziva ngathi kufuneka unike iinkcukacha ezithe kratya kunokuba uziva ukhululekile. Basenokuba sele benolwazi malunga nemeko.

Unokuthi ngokulula, "Ndithathe isigqibo sokuba ndibuphelise ubuhlobo kuba bunempembelelo embi kwimpilo-ntle yam," okanye into enjalo.

Zikhathalele

Nje ukuba uphelise ubuhlobo obunetyhefu, thatha ixesha lokujonga wena.

Uye wadlula kwinto ebuhlungu kwaye inzima, ke kusengqiqweni ngokufanelekileyo ukuba ufuna ixesha lokuphola.

Ziqhelanise nokuzikhathalela ngokulungileyo:

• ukuchitha ixesha nabantu obathandayo
• ukwenza ixesha lokulala okusemgangathweni
• egxile kwizinto zokuzonwabisa ezonwabisayo

Gcwalisa ubomi bakho ngezinto ezintle kwaye ufumane ukufikelela kwinkxaso ukuba uyayifuna.

Umgca wezantsi

Ukuphelisa ubuhlobo obunetyhefu kunokuba ngumceli mngeni, kwaye kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba ufune inkxaso encinci kuyo nayiphi na inkqubo. Ingcali inokukunceda ukuba uqale uhlolisise iimvakalelo zakho malunga nobuhlobo kwaye ujonge iindlela zokuphelisa okanye ukuzilungisa.

UCrystal Raypole wayekhe wasebenza njengombhali kunye nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Amacandelo akhe anomdla abandakanya iilwimi zaseAsia kunye noncwadi, uguqulelo lwaseJapan, ukupheka, isayensi yendalo, ubungqingili besini, kunye nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukodwa, uzibophelele ekuncedeni ukunciphisa ukubekwa amabala malunga nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo.