Iziphumo ezili-10 zoqhawulo mtshato ebantwaneni- kunye nokubanceda bajamelane nayo

Umxholo

• 1. Baziva benomsindo
• 2. Banokurhoxa ekuhlaleni
• 3. Amabakala abo anokusokola
• 4. Baziva bekhathazekile ngokwahlukana
• 5. Abancinci banokubuyela umva
• 6. Ukutya nokulala kwabo kuyatshintsha
• 7. Banokukhetha amacala
• 8. Bahamba ngoxinzelelo
• 9. Baziphatha ngendlela eyingozi
• 10. Bajongene nobudlelwane babo bobabini
• Ukuxelela abantwana bakho ngoqhawulo mtshato
• Ukuthandana nokutshata kwakhona
• Ukunceda abantwana bakho bahlangabezane
• Ukuthatha

Ukuqhekeka akukho lula. Iireveli zonke kunye neengoma zepop zibhaliwe malunga nayo. Kwaye xa abantwana bebandakanyeka, uqhawulo-mtshato lunokuba yimeko ebuthathaka ngakumbi.

Phefumla. Ukho kwindawo efanelekileyo. Inyaniso kukuba uqhawulo-mtshato yenza Impembelelo yabantwana - ngamanye amaxesha ngeendlela ongenakulindela. Kodwa ayisiyiyo yonke intshabalalo nobumnyama.

Ukuba uziva ukhathazekile, zikhumbuze ukuba wenza okulungileyo kuwe nakusapho lwakho. Ukuqhubela phambili, zama konke okusemandleni akho ukucwangcisa, ukuqonda iimpawu ezinokuthi zilumkise, kwaye uzenze ufumaneke ngokweemvakalelo emntwaneni wakho.

Yonke le nto ithethwayo, masitsibe kunye nezinye iindlela umntwana wakho anokuveza ngazo iimvakalelo zabo malunga nokwahlukana.

1. Baziva benomsindo

Abantwana banokuziva benomsindo ngoqhawulo mtshato. Ukuba ucinga ngako, iyavakala. Ihlabathi labo liphela liyatshintsha - kwaye abanalo igalelo elininzi.

Umsindo ungabetha nakweyiphi na iminyaka, kodwa ubakhona ngokukodwa kubantwana abakwiminyaka yokuhamba isikolo nakwishumi elivisayo. Ezi mvakalelo zinokuvela kwiimvakalelo zokulahlwa okanye zokuphulukana nolawulo. Umsindo usenokujoliswa ngaphakathi, njengokuba abanye abantwana bebeka ityala kuqhawulo-mtshato lwabazali babo.

2. Banokurhoxa ekuhlaleni

Unokuqaphela ukuba umntwana wakho webhabhathane ekuhlaleni uye waba neentloni okanye uxhalabile. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba bacinga kwaye baziva kakhulu ngoku. Banokubonakala ngathi abanamdla okanye boyike iimeko zentlalo, njengokuhlala nabahlobo okanye ukuya kwiminyhadala yesikolo.

Ukuzenzela umfanekiso ophantsi kunxulunyaniswa noqhawulo-mtshato kunye nokurhoxa ekuhlaleni, ke ukukhulisa ukuzithemba komntwana wakho kunye nencoko yangaphakathi inokubanceda baphume kwigobolondo labo kwakhona.

3. Amabakala abo anokusokola

Ngokwezifundo, abantwana abaya kuqhawula umtshato banokufumana amanqanaba asezantsi kwaye bajongane nenqanaba eliphezulu lokuyeka xa kuthelekiswa noontanga babo. Ezi ziphumo zinokubonwa kwiminyaka yobudala engama-6 kodwa zinokubonakala ngakumbi njengoko abantwana befikelela kwiminyaka eli-13 ukuya kweli-18 ubudala.

Zininzi izizathu ezinokubakho zeli khonkco, kubandakanya nokuba abantwana banokuziva bengakhathalelwanga, bedandathekile, okanye bephazamisekile kukwanda kwengxabano phakathi kwabazali babo. Ngexesha, inzala encinci kwizifundiswa kwinqanaba lesikolo esiphakamileyo inokuhla iye kumdla omncinci ngokuqhubela phambili imfundo yabo iyonke.

4. Baziva bekhathazekile ngokwahlukana

Abantwana abancinci banokubonisa iimpawu zokwahlula unxunguphalo, njengokunyuka kokukhala okanye ukubambelela. Ewe kunjalo, oku kukwayinqanaba lokukhula elihlala liqala phakathi kweminyaka emi-6 ukuya kwi-9 yeenyanga kwaye lisombululwe ngeenyanga ezili-18.

Okwangoku, abantwana abasele bekhulile kunye nabantwana banokubonisa iimpawu zokwahlukana koxinzelelo okanye banokucela omnye umzali xa bengekho.

Abanye abantwana banokuphendula kakuhle kwinkqubo engaguquguqukiyo kunye nezixhobo ezibonakalayo, ezinjengekhalenda, notyelelo olubhalwe ngokucacileyo kulo.

5. Abancinci banokubuyela umva

Abantwana abasafunda ukuya esikolweni nabangaphakathi esikolweni abaphakathi kweenyanga ezili-18 kunye neminyaka emi-6 ubudala banokubuyela kwiindlela zokuziphatha ezinje ngokuncamathela, ukothuka ebhedini, ukuncanca ubhontsi kunye nomsindo.

Ukuba ubona ukubuyela umva, inokuba luphawu loxinzelelo kumntwana wakho okanye kubunzima babo ngotshintsho. Ezi ndlela zokuziphatha zinokukhathaza- kwaye usenokungazi ukuba ungaqala ngaphi ngokunceda umntwana wakho omncinci. Amaqhosha alapha kukuqinisekiswa rhoqo kunye nokuhambelana kwindalo esingqongileyo- iintshukumo ezenza ukuba umntwana wakho azive ekhuselekile.

6. Ukutya nokulala kwabo kuyatshintsha

Isifundo esinye se-2019 siphakamisa umbuzo wokuba ingaba okanye hayi abantwana ngokoqobo thwala ubunzima bomtshato. Ngelixa isalathiso sobunzima bomzimba (i-BMI) ebantwaneni singabonisi kwangoko ifuthe, i-BMI ngokuhamba kwexesha inokuba "kakhulu" ngaphezulu kunabantwana abangakhange bawuqhawule umtshato. Kwaye ezi ziphumo ziqwalaselwe ngokukodwa kubantwana abafumana ukwahlukana ngaphambi kokuguqula iminyaka emi-6.

Abantwana abakumaqela amaninzi ubudala bajamelana nemicimbi yokulala, enokuthi ibe negalelo ekuzuzeni ubunzima. Oku kubuyela kulungelelwaniso, kodwa kubandakanya izinto ezinje ngamaphupha amabi okanye inkolelo kwizilo okanye ezinye izinto ezimnandi ezizisa iimvakalelo zoxinzelelo ngexesha lokulala.

7. Banokukhetha amacala

Xa abazali besilwa, uphando luchaza ukuba abantwana bahamba ngokungangqinelani kunye nokunyaniseka kwembambano. Le yeyona ndlela intle yokuthetha ukuba baziva bengakhululekanga ukubambeka embindini, bengazi ukuba baya kuba kwicala lomzali omnye ngaphezulu komnye.

Oku kungabonakalisa njengesidingo esinzulu "sobulungisa" nokuba kuyingozi kuphuhliso lwabo. Abantwana banokubonisa ukungonwabi kwabo ngokunyuka kwesisu okanye iintloko.

Ungquzulwano lokunyaniseka lunokuvakala ngakumbi njengoko abantwana bekhula, ekugqibeleni kukhokelela kwikhefu elipheleleyo lokunxibelelana nomzali omnye (nangona umzali okhethiweyo enokutshintsha ngokuhamba kwexesha).

8. Bahamba ngoxinzelelo

Ngelixa umntwana ekuqaleni enokuziva ephantsi okanye elusizi ngoqhawulo-mtshato, uphononongo luxela ukuba abantwana boqhawulo-mtshato basengozini yokufumana uxinzelelo kwiklinikhi. Okungakumbi malunga noku, bambalwa abasemngciphekweni omkhulu wokugrogriswa ngokuzibulala okanye ukuzama.

Ngelixa le micimbi inokuchaphazela abantwana bayo nayiphi na iminyaka, bahlala bevelela ngakumbi kubantwana abaneminyaka eli-11 nangaphezulu. Kwaye amakhwenkwe asengozini yokucinga ngokuzibulala kunamantombazana, ngokweAmerican Academy of Pediatrics.

Ukufumana uncedo lweengcali zezempilo yengqondo ezinemvume kubaluleke kakhulu kwesi sizathu.

Inxulumene: Ewe-abantwana kufuneka bathathe iintsuku zempilo yengqondo

9. Baziphatha ngendlela eyingozi

Ukusetyenziswa gwenxa kotywala neziyobisi, isimilo esinoburharha, kunye nokwazisa kwangoko kwimicimbi yesondo nako kunokwenzeka. Umzekelo, uphononongo lubonisa ukuba amantombazana akwishumi elivisayo athambekele ekubeni abelane ngesondo kwiminyaka engaphambili xa behlala kwikhaya apho utata engekho.

Uphando alubonisi mngcipheko ofanayo kumakhwenkwe. Kwaye oku "kokuqala kwezesondo" kwasekuqaleni kunokubalelwa kwizinto ezininzi, kubandakanya neenkolelo eziguqulweyo malunga nomtshato kunye neengcinga malunga nokuzala abantwana.

10. Bajongene nobudlelwane babo bobabini

Okokugqibela, uphononongo lubonisa ukuba xa abazali beqhawula umtshato, kukho ithuba elihle lokuba abantwana babo bangaphelela kwindawo efanayo nabantu abadala. Uluvo apha kukuba ukwahlukana phakathi kwabazali kunokutshintsha isimo sengqondo somntwana kubudlelwane ngokubanzi. Banokungathandi kangako ukungena kubudlelwane bexesha elide, obuzibandakanya.

Kwaye ukuhlala ngoqhawulo-mtshato kubonisa abantwana ukuba zininzi iindlela ezizezinye kwiimodeli zosapho. Uphando lukwacebisa ukuba abantwana banokukhetha ukuhlala kunye (ukuhlala kunye ngaphandle kokutshata) ngaphezulu komtshato. Nangona kunjalo, kufanelekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba oku kuqhelekile kwinkcubeko yethu yangoku, ngaphandle kwembali yosapho.

Ukuxelela abantwana bakho ngoqhawulo mtshato

Akukho ndlela uyijikelezileyo - ukuthetha ngoqhawulo mtshato nabantwana bakho kunzima. Kwaye xa ukwinqanaba loqhawulo-mtshato, kusenokwenzeka ukuba sele ucinge malunga nalo kwaye wathetha ngalo izihlandlo ezizigidi.

Abantwana bakho, nangona kunjalo, abanako ukuba nofifi lwento eyenzekileyo. Kubo, umbono ungaphuma ngokupheleleyo ebaleni lasekhohlo. Ingxoxo evulekileyo nethembekileyo inokunceda.

Unyango uLisa Herrick, PhD, wabelana ngeengcebiso ezithile:

• Yiza nesihloko esifanelekileyo kwiiveki ezi-2 ukuya kwezi-3 ngaphambi kokuba kuqale ulwahlulo. Oku kunika abantwana ixesha lokuqhubekeka nemeko.
• Qiniseka ukuba unesicwangciso engqondweni yakho, nokuba ikhululekile. Umntwana wakho uya kuba nemibuzo emininzi malunga nokulungiselela (ngubani ophumayo, apho ahamba khona, ukuba luhambo luni oluya kubonakala ngathi, njl.), Kwaye liqinisekisa ukuba kukho isikhokelo esithile.
• Yiba nentetho kwindawo ethuleyo engenaziphazamiso. Unokufuna nokuqinisekisa ukuba akukho zibophelelo zixinzelelweyo kamva ngemini. Umzekelo, usuku lweempelaveki lungangcono.
• Cinga ukuxelela utitshala womntwana wakho ngosuku okanye phambi kokuba uxelele umntwana wakho. Oku kunika utitshala iintloko ukuba umntwana wakho uqala ukudlala okanye ufuna inkxaso. Ewe unakho nokucela ukuba utitshala angayichazi le nto emntwaneni wakho ngaphandle kokuba umntwana wakho ayichaze kuye.
• Hone kwiindawo ezithile, Njengokuba wena neqabane lakho ningakhange nize kwisigqibo ngokulula. Endaweni yokuba ukhe wayicinga le nto ixesha elide emva kokuzama ezinye iindlela ezininzi zokwenza izinto zisebenze ngcono.
• Mqinisekise umntwana wakho ukuba ukwahlukana akuphenduli kwindlela aziphethe ngayo. Ngokunjalo, cacisa ukuba umntwana wakho ukhululekile njani ukuthanda ngamnye umzali ngokulinganayo. Melana nokuphosa nasiphi na isityholo, nokuba kubonakala kungenakwenzeka xa kujongwa iimeko.
• Kwaye qiniseka ukuba unike umntwana wakho igumbi lokuziva ukuba bafuna ukuziva njani. Usenokude ufune ukuthetha into ngendlela, “Zonke iimvakalelo ziimvakalelo eziqhelekileyo. Unokuziva ukhathazekile, unomsindo, okanye ulusizi, kwaye kulungile. Siza kusebenza kwezi mvakalelo kunye. "

Related: Uxinzelelo noqhawulo-mtshato: Ungenza ntoni?

Ukuthandana nokutshata kwakhona

Ekugqibeleni, wena okanye ex yakho unokufumana omnye umntu ofuna ukuchitha ubomi bakho kunye naye. Kwaye oku kunokuba ngathi yinto enobuqhetseba ukuzisa abantwana.

Kubalulekile ukuba uthethe ngale mbono kwangaphambi kwentlanganiso yokuqala. Ngaphandle koko, ixesha elithile, imida, kunye nemithetho yomhlaba yonke ixhomekeke kubazali ababandakanyekayo-kodwa zonke ezi ziingxoxo ekufanele zize ngaphambi kokufaka abantwana kwimeko enokubangela iimvakalelo.

Unokukhetha, umzekelo, ukulinda ude ube kubudlelwane obukhethekileyo kwiinyanga ezininzi ngaphambi kokubandakanya abantwana. Kodwa umgca wexesha uya kubonakala ngokwahlukileyo kusapho ngalunye.

Kuyafana nemida oyibekileyo. Nokuba ungayenza njani, nangona kunjalo, zama konke okusemandleni akho ukuba ube nesicwangciso kunye nokuqonda okuninzi ngazo naziphi na iimvakalelo ezikhulayo.

Inxulumene: Oogqirha babantwana banokulunceda njani usapho oluya kuqhawulo mtshato?

Ukunceda abantwana bakho bahlangabezane

Izinto zinokuba nzima kwaye zithinte nakweyona ntsebenziswano ininzi yokwahlukana. Uqhawulo mtshato ayisosihloko silula sokusibhengeza. Kodwa abantwana bakho bayakuxabisa ukungafihli kwakho kunye nokuqonda kwabo babandakanyekileyo kule meko.

Ezinye iingcebiso zokubanceda bajongane:

• Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba athethe nawe. Chaza ukuba uyindawo ekhuselekileyo yokwabelana naziphi na iimvakalelo abanokuba nazo. Ke, okona kubaluleke kakhulu, mamela indlebe evulekileyo kuyo nantoni na abayithethayo.
• Qonda ukuba bonke abantwana bayatshintsha ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Into esebenzela omnye wabantwana bakho ayinakuthetha komnye. Nika ingqalelo kuyo nayiphi na into oyenzayo okanye ezinye iindlela ozibonayo, kwaye ubeke indlela yakho ngokufanelekileyo.
• Zama ukuphelisa ungquzulwano phakathi kwakho ne ex yakho ukuba kunokwenzeka(kwaye akunakuhlala kunokwenzeka). Xa abazali besilwa phambi kwabantwana babo, inokubangela ukuba "bathathe icala" okanye bathembeke komnye umzali ngaphezulu komnye. (Hi ndlela leyi, ayisiyondlela yoqhawulo-mtshato. Kuyenzeka nabantwana bezibini ezitshatileyo ezilwayo, nazo.)
• Fikelela kuncedo ukuba uyalufuna. Oku kunokuba kwifom yosapho lwakho kunye nenkqubo yenkxaso yabahlobo. Kodwa ukuba umntwana wakho uqala ukubonisa ezinye izilumkiso, biza ugqirha wabantwana okanye ugqirha wezempilo yengqondo. Awudingi ukujongana nezinto wedwa.
• Yiba nobubele kuwe. Ewe, umntwana wakho ufuna ukuba womelele kwaye uzinze. Sekunjalo, ungumntu kuphela. Kulungile kwaye kukwakhuthazekile ukubonisa iimvakalelo phambi kwabantwana bakho. Ukubonisa iimvakalelo zakho kuya kunceda abantwana bakho ukuba bavule malunga nabo.

Inxulumene: Ukubambisana njengomzali kunye ne-narcissist

Ukuthatha

Kuninzi lophando kunye nemibhalo ngoqhawulo-mtshato, kuyacaca ukuba abantwana bayomelela. Iziphumo zokwahlukana zihlala zicela umngeni ngakumbi kwi-1 yokuqala ukuya kwi-3 iminyaka.

Kwaye ayingabo bonke abantwana ababona iziphumo ezibi kuqhawulo mtshato. Abo bahlala kwiindawo ezinongquzulwano oluphezulu banokubona ukwahlulwa njengento elungileyo.

Ekugqibeleni, ibuyela ekwenzeni okulungele usapho lwakho. Kwaye iintsapho zinokuthatha iindlela ezininzi. Zama konke okusemandleni akho ukucacisela umntwana wakho ukuba, nokuba kunjani na, uselusapho - uyatshintsha.

Ngaphezulu kwayo nayiphi na into, umntwana wakho ufuna ukwazi ukuba banothando lwakho olungenamiqathango kunye nenkxaso nokuba unjani na.