Ndamkela Ukuxhalaba Kwam, Kuba Kuyinxalenye Yam

Umxholo

• Uqale nini ukufumanisa ukuba ulwa noxinzelelo?
• Ude ixesha elide ulwa nayo wedwa ngaphambi kokufumana uncedo?
• Kutheni wawuthandabuza ukuba ungafihli nto xa unexhala okanye ufumane uncedo olufunayo?
• Yayiyintoni ingxaki?
• Babesamkela njani abantu abakungqongileyo kwinto yokuba unesigulo sengqondo?
• Ucinga ukuba sisiphi isitshixo sokoyisa ibala elinxulunyaniswa nokugula ngengqondo?
• Izifundo zamva nje zibonisa ukuba ukugula kwengqondo kuyenyuka, kodwa ukufikelela kunyango kuhlala kuyingxaki. Ucinga ukuba yintoni enokwenziwa ukutshintsha loo nto?
• Ngaba ucinga ukuba ubunokujongana noxinzelelo lwakho ngaphambi kokuba izinto ziye entloko ukuba uluntu luphela beluvulekile malunga nempilo yengqondo?
• Ungathini kumntu osandula ukufumanisa ukuba unaye okanye osandula ukwazisa ngemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo?
• Uqhubela phambili njani

I-China McCarney yayineminyaka engama-22 xa yayiqala ukufumanisa ukuba inengxaki yoxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo. Kwaye kwiminyaka esibhozo ukusukela oko, usebenze ngokungakhathali ukucima ibala elijikeleze ukugula ngengqondo kunye nokunxibelelanisa abantu nezixhobo abazidingayo ukulwa nalo. Ukhuthaza abantu ukuba bangalwi okanye bangahoyi iimeko zabo (njengoko wayenzile), kodwa bamkele iimeko zabo njengenxalenye yabo.

Ngo-Matshi 2017, i-China yasungula iimbaleki ezingenzi nzuzo ngokuchasene nexhala kunye noxinzelelo (AAAD). "Ndabona ukuba kufuneka ndithathe uxanduva lokunceda ekwenzeni iqonga apho abantu banokwabelana ngebali labo," utshilo. "Ndiqaphele ukuba ndifuna ukunceda ukudala indawo apho abantu banikwe amandla okwamkela iipesenti zabo."

Kumkhankaso wokuqala wokunikela, i-AAAD iphakamise imali yokuxhasa uMbutho wokuXhalaba kunye noXinezeleko eMelika (ADAA), athi uyinika ingqwalaselo kunye nolwazi olufunekayo ukuze ajongane ngqo nempilo yakhe yengqondo. Sibambe iTshayina ukuba sifunde ngakumbi ngohambo lwakhe noxinzelelo kunye nokuba kuthetha ntoni kuye ukuqonda impilo yezengqondo kuye.

Uqale nini ukufumanisa ukuba ulwa noxinzelelo?

I-China McCarney: Ukuqala kwam ukuhlaselwa kukothuka ibiku-2009. Ndakhe ndafumana ixhala eliqhelekileyo kunye neerves kude kube lelo xesha, kodwa uloyiko lokuhlaselwa yayiyinto endingazange ndajongana nayo. Ndandijamelene noxinzelelo oluninzi notshintsho kwikhondo lebhola lebhola, kwaye ngelixa ndandihamba kwindlela eya eMantla California, ndaziva ngathi ndiza kufa. Khange ndikwazi ukuphefumla, umzimba wam ubuva ngokungathi uyatsha ngaphakathi nangaphandle, kwaye kuye kwafuneka ndiphume endleleni ukuphuma emotweni ndingene komoya. Ndahamba iiyure ezimbini okanye ezintathu ndizama ukuziqokelela ngaphambi kokuba ndibize utata ukuba aze kundilanda. Kube ngamava okuchukumisa kunye nokuhamba ukusukela ngala mhla wesibhozo weminyaka eyadlulayo, kunye nobudlelwane obuhlala buqhubeka kunye noxinzelelo.

Ude ixesha elide ulwa nayo wedwa ngaphambi kokufumana uncedo?

I-CM: Ndasokola noxinzelelo iminyaka emininzi ngaphambi kokufumana uncedo. Ndandijongane nayo kwaye ndaqhubeka, kwaye ke andizange ndicinge ukuba ndifuna uncedo kuba aluhambelani. Ukuqala ukuphela kwe-2014, ndiye ndaqala ukujongana noxinzelelo rhoqo kwaye ndaqala ukunqanda izinto endizenzileyo ubomi bam bonke. Izinto endandizonwabele bonke ubomi bam ngequbuliso zaqala ukundoyikisa.Ndayifihla iinyanga, kwaye phakathi konyaka we-2015, ndandihleli emotweni yam emva kohlaselo loloyiko ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba kwanele. Kwakulixesha lokufumana uncedo lobungcali. Ndaye ndaya kufikelela kunyangi ngaloo mini ndaza ndaqala ukucebisa kwangoko.

Kutheni wawuthandabuza ukuba ungafihli nto xa unexhala okanye ufumane uncedo olufunayo?

I-CM: Esona sizathu sokuba ndingafuni ukuvuleka malunga noxinzelelo kukuba bendineentloni kwaye ndiziva ndinetyala lokuba bendijongene nayo. Bendingafuni ukuba kuthiwe “ayiqhelekanga” okanye nantoni na enjalo. Ukukhula kwiimbaleki, uyakhuthazwa ukuba ungabonisi iimvakalelo, kwaye "ungabinamvakalelo". Into yokugqibela obufuna ukuyivuma kukuba ubunexhala okanye uvalo. Into ehlekisayo yayikukuba, ebaleni, ndaziva ndikhululekile. Khange ndizive ndinxunguphalo okanye uvalo ebaleni. Kwakungaphandle kwentsimi apho ndaqala khona ukuziva ndisiba mandundu ngaphezulu kweminyaka, ndazifihla iimpawu kunye nengxaki kuye wonke umntu. Ibala elinxulumene nemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo lakhokelela ekubeni ndigubungele ukungakhuseleki koxinzelelo ngokusebenzisa kakubi utywala kunye nokuphila ubomi obuqhelekileyo.

Yayiyintoni ingxaki?

I-CM: Indawo yokuqhekeka kum kuxa ndandingakwazi ukwenza imisebenzi yesiqhelo, yesiqhelo, yemihla ngemihla, kwaye xa ndandiqala ukuphila ubomi bokuthintela. Ndisazi ukuba ndifuna ukufumana uncedo kwaye ndiqale uhambo oluya kum ngokwenyani. Olo hambo lusaqhubeka mihla le, kwaye andisalwi ukuzama ukufihla okanye ukulwa nexhala lam. Ndikulwela ukuyamkela njengenxalenye yam kwaye ndamkela iipesenti ezili-100 zam.

Babesamkela njani abantu abakungqongileyo kwinto yokuba unesigulo sengqondo?

I-CM: Olu ibilutshintsho olunomdla. Abanye abantu babenomdla kakhulu, kwaye abanye babengayamkeli. Abantu abangenakuqonda bazisuse ebomini bakho, okanye ubasuse. Ukuba abantu bongeza ukubekwa ibala kunye nokungakhathali komcimbi wezempilo yengqondo, akukho nto intle malunga nokuba babekufutshane. Sonke sijongana nento ethile, kwaye ukuba abantu abanako ukuqonda, okanye ubuncinci bazame ukuba, ibala alisoze liphele. Kufuneka sixhobisane ukuze sibe ziipesenti ezili-100 zethu, singazami ukulungisa ubuntu babanye ukuze silingane nobethu ubomi kunye nezinto esizifunayo.

Ucinga ukuba sisiphi isitshixo sokoyisa ibala elinxulunyaniswa nokugula ngengqondo?

I-CM: Ukuxhotyiswa, unxibelelwano, kunye namagorha azimiseleyo ukwabelana ngebali labo. Kufuneka sizinike amandla kunye nabanye ukuba babelane ngamabali ethu malunga nezinto esijamelana nazo. Oko kuyakuqala ukwakha indawo yoluntu olunomdla wokunxibelelana ngokukhululekileyo nangokunyaniseka malunga nemilo yabo yengqondo. Oku kuyakwenza ukuba abantu abaninzi beze ngaphambili kwaye babelane ngebali labo malunga nendlela abaphila ngayo ubomi babo ngelixa besilwa nomba wezempilo yengqondo. Ndicinga ukuba yenye yezona ngcinga ziphosakeleyo: Abantu abaziva ukuba ungaphila ubomi obunempumelelo ngelixa usilwa nengxaki yempilo yengqondo. Ukulwa kwam noxinzelelo akuphelanga, kude nayo. Kodwa andifuni ukububekel 'amangomso ubomi bam ndilinde ukuba ndiziva "ndigqibelele."

Izifundo zamva nje zibonisa ukuba ukugula kwengqondo kuyenyuka, kodwa ukufikelela kunyango kuhlala kuyingxaki. Ucinga ukuba yintoni enokwenziwa ukutshintsha loo nto?

I-CM: Ndiyakholelwa ukuba umba unento yokwenza nabantu abafuna ukufikelela kude ukuze bafumane unyango. Ndicinga ukuba ibala liyabatyhafisa abantu abaninzi ekubeni bafikelele kuncedo abaludingayo. Ngenxa yoko, akukho mali ingako kunye nezixhobo zenziweyo. Endaweni yoko, abantu bazinyanga amayeza kwaye abasoloko befumana uncedo oluyinyani abalifunayo. Anditsho ukuba ndichasene namayeza, ndicinga nje ukuba abantu bajikela kuloo kuqala ngaphambi kokuba baphonononge iingcebiso, ukucamngca, isondlo, kunye nolwazi kunye nezixhobo ezibonelelwa yimibutho efana neHealthline kunye ne-ADAA.

Ngaba ucinga ukuba ubunokujongana noxinzelelo lwakho ngaphambi kokuba izinto ziye entloko ukuba uluntu luphela beluvulekile malunga nempilo yengqondo?

I-CM: Ipesenti ezilikhulu. Ukuba ukukhula bekukho imfundo ethe kratya kunye nokuvuleleka malunga neempawu, iimpawu zokulumkisa, kunye nalapho ungaya khona xa ujongene noxinzelelo okanye uxinzelelo, andiva ukuba ibala belingalunganga. Andicingi ukuba amanani amayeza angalunganga, nokuba. Ndicinga ukuba abantu bahlala beya kwi-ofisi kagqirha wabucala ukuya kufumana amayeza endaweni yokufuna iingcebiso okanye ukuthetha nabantu ababathandayo kuba baneentloni kwaye akukho mfundo ingako ikhulayo. Ndiyazi, kum, umhla endandiqala ukuziva ndibhetele kulapho ndaye ndamkela ukuba ixhala liyinxalenye yobomi bam kwaye ndaqala ukwabelana ngokukhululekileyo malunga nebali lam kunye nemizabalazo yam.

Ungathini kumntu osandula ukufumanisa ukuba unaye okanye osandula ukwazisa ngemicimbi yezempilo yengqondo?

I-CM: Ingcebiso yam iya kuba kukungabi nazintloni. Ingcebiso yam iya kuba yeyokwamkela idabi ukusuka kusuku lokuqala kwaye ndiqonde ukuba kukho itoni yezixhobo ezikhoyo phaya. Izixhobo ezinjengeHealthline. Izixhobo ezifana ne-ADAA. Izixhobo ezifana ne-AAAD. Musa ukuba neentloni okanye uzive unetyala, kwaye ungazifihli kwiimpawu. Ubomi obunempumelelo kunye neemfazwe zempilo yengqondo akufuneki zihlulwe zodwa. Ungalilwa idabi lakho yonke imihla ngelixa uhlala ubomi obunempumelelo kwaye ulandela amaphupha akho. Yonke imihla idabi lomntu wonke. Abanye abantu balwa idabi lokoqobo. Abanye abantu balwa idabi lempilo yengqondo. Isitshixo sokuphumelela kukwamkela idabi lakho kwaye ujolise ekwenzeni okusemandleni akho yonke imihla.

Uqhubela phambili njani

Ukuxhalaba kukuchaphazela abantu abadala abangaphezu kwezigidi ezingama-40 eUnited States kuphela-malunga neepesenti ezili-18 zabemi. Ngaphandle kokuba lolona hlobo luxhaphakileyo lokugula ngengqondo, malunga nesithathu kuphela sabantu abanoxinzelelo abanokuze bafune unyango. Ukuba unexhala okanye ucinga ukuba unakho, fikelela kwimibutho efana ne-ADAA, kwaye ufunde kumabali abantu ababhala malunga namava abo ngale meko.

UKareem Yasin ngumbhali kunye nomhleli kwiHealthline. Ngaphandle kwezempilo kunye nokuba sempilweni, uyasebenza kwiincoko malunga nokubandakanywa kwimithombo yeendaba, ilizwe lakhe laseCyprus, kunye neSpice Girls. Fikelela kuye kwi-Twitter okanye kwi-Instagram.