Inzululwazi ithi Abanye Abantu Benzelwe Ukungatshati

Umxholo

• Uphengululo lwe

Bukela amahlaya othando ngokwaneleyo kwaye unokuqiniseka ukuba ngaphandle kokuba ufumane iqabane lakho lomphefumlo okanye, usilele oko, nawuphi na umntu ophefumlayo onobudlelwane obunokubakho, ugwetyelwe kubomi bobulolo obukrakra. Kodwa nangona umtsalane uNicholas Spark esenza ukuba ubudlelwane bubonakale, abanye abantu bonwabe nyhani ukungatshati, lutsho uphando olutsha ISayeloji yeNtlalo kunye neNzululwazi yoBuntu.

Isifundo sijonge ngaphezulu kwe-4,000 yabafundi beekholeji kwaye safumanisa ukuba into ebeka ukonwaba komntu yayingeyiyo imeko yabo yobudlelwane kodwa iinjongo zabo yeubudlelwane. Amaqela amabini abantu avele kwidatha: abo baneenjongo eziphezulu-abantu abanqwenela ngokunzulu ubudlelwane obusondeleyo-kwaye abo baneenjongo zokuphepha eziphezulu-abantu abanqwenela ngokunzulu ukuphepha ungquzulwano kunye nomdlalo weqonga. (Ukuphepha idrama akusoloko yeyona nto isempilweni. Nazi iindlela ezi-4 zokuhlangabezana nemiqobo ethintela ubudlelwane.)

Kwaye ngelixa uninzi lwethu mhlawumbi lugweba elinye lala maqela lisuka kokubi njengelingalunganga, "iqela lophando lafumanisa ukuba nokuba ungangqamana noTaylor Swift okanye wonke umntu owakhe wathandana naye (uxolo, Taylor!), Akunjalo ' kubalulekile ixesha elide ukuba uhlala unyanisekile kwintoni wena ufuna ngokwenene.

Alukho udidi olungcono kunolunye; bohlukile nje, utshilo umbhali okhokelayo u-Yuthika Girme, Ph.D., unjingalwazi kwizifundo zengqondo kwiYunivesithi yase Auckland eNew Zealand. Kunzima kakhulu ukuthintela ungquzulwano nako kunokuba kubi, uyacacisa. Jongana nedrama engakumbi ebomini bakho ngokubanzi (enokuthi ibe noxinzelelo) kwaye ufumane ukwahlukana kubuhlungu. )

Oku, nangona kunjalo, kunokubangela iingxaki ukuba wena kunye neqabane lakho (okanye ukusilela) anihambelani. Ukuba awukho umdlalo oqinileyo kodwa uthandana nomntu obonakala ngathi uzofuna iOscar, okanye ukuba uyarhawuzelelwa kukudlala kwirom com yakho kodwa ungenayo indoda ekhokelayo, kunokubangela isiphithiphithi esikhulu. .

Qala ngokwamkela ngokwakho ukuba ungubani, uGirme uthi -uyikholwa eliqinisekileyo ukuba sonke sincike kwicala elinye ngokwendalo kwaye uyathandabuza ukuba umntu unokuzinyanzela ukuba abe lolunye uhlobo. Ukuba unokuqaphela ukuba unokuphepha okuphezulu okanye ukufikelela kwiinjongo, ngoko unokujonga indlela yokwenza uhlengahlengiso lobomi oluya kuhlonipha iimvakalelo zabanye ngelixa ukhusela ulonwabo lwakho lobuqu. (Umzekelo, ezi zinto zintandathu kufuneka usoloko uzicela kubudlelwane ziya kuphucula ukonwaba kwakho kangangokuba kufanelekile ukujongana.)

"Abantu abadibeneyo abaphezulu kwiinjongo zokuphepha banokuqonda ukuba iingxabano zobudlelwane azinakuphepheka kwaye ukujongana neengxabano ezibalulekileyo kunokuphucula umgangatho wobudlelwane," kusho uGirme. Ngokufanayo, kubantu abangatshatanga abaphantsi kwiinjongo zokuphepha, kunokuba kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba abantu abangatshatanga banokuphila ubomi obonwabisayo nobanelisayo. usapho nabahlobo. "

Kwaye ngokujonga ngaphezulu kwesiqingatha sabantu baseMelika abangatshatanga, lo mbuzo wokuba ungonwaba njani nokuba awunayo intliziyo kwiprofayile yakho ye-Facebook yeyona iphambili. Mhlawumbi lixesha lokuba uhlale phantsi uthathe isigqibo sokuba yeyiphi eyona nto ikwenza wonwabe kwaye wonwabe kwaye uphile ngaloo ndlela, ungaxolisi. Kuba ufanele ukonwaba ngokwenene emva koko, hayi isiphelo sabanye abantu abacinga ukuba sikulungele.

Uphengululo lwe