Umlingo oTshintsha uBomi wokwenza ngokuNgekho nto emva kokubeleka

Umxholo

• Ityala lokungenzi nto njengomama omtsha
• Yintoni engenzi nto njengomama omtsha ijongeka ngathi
• Ekugqibeleni ndifunde njani ukwenza nantoni na emva kokubeleka

Awungu mama ombi ukuba awuthathi hlabathi emva kokuba unomntwana.

Ndiphulaphule ngomzuzu: Ungathini ukuba, kwihlabathi lokuhlanjwa kwamantombazana-elijongileyo kunye nokugungqa kunye #girlbossing kunye ne-bounce-backing, siyitshintshe ngokupheleleyo indlela esijonga ngayo ixesha lasemva kokubeleka koomama?

Kuthekani ukuba, endaweni yokuhlasela oomama ngemiyalezo yendlela abanokuzilungiselela ngayo nokulala ngololiwe kunye nesicwangciso sokutya kwaye basebenze ngakumbi, sinike nje imvume yokuba oomama abatsha bangenzi… akukho nto?

Ewe, kunjalo - akukho nto.

Oko kukuthi, ungenzi nto ubuncinci okwethutyana- ixesha elide kangangoko kunokwenzeka-unikwe ezinye iingxaki zobomi, nokuba kukubuyela emsebenzini ngokusisigxina okanye ukukhathalela abanye abantwana abancinci ekhayeni lakho.

Ivakala ingaqhelekanga, akunjalo? Ukucinga loo nto? Ndiyathetha, yintoni engenzi nto jonga njengakweli hlabathi lanamhlanje kubafazi? Sisebenzise kakhulu ukwenza imisebenzi emininzi kwaye sihlala sinoluhlu olusebenzayo lwezinto ezizigidi ezihamba ngaxeshanye kwaye sicinga ngamanyathelo ayi-12 ngaphambili kwaye sicwangcise kwaye silungiselela ukuba ukwenza nto phantse kubonakale ngathi kuyahlekisa.

Kodwa ndiyakholelwa ukuba bonke oomama abatsha kufuneka benze isicwangciso sokwenza nantoni na emva kokuba nomntwana- nasi isizathu.

Ityala lokungenzi nto njengomama omtsha

Ukuba nomntwana namhlanje kubandakanya itoni yomsebenzi wokulungiselela. Kukho irejista yabantwana kunye neeshawa kunye nophando kunye nesicwangciso sokuzalwa kunye nokumiselwa kwe-nursery kunye nemibuzo "emikhulu" efana nale: Ngaba uza kufumana isifo? Ngaba uyakucothisa ukubotshwa kwentambo? Ngaba uya kuncancisa?

Kwaye emva kwako konke oko kucwangciswa kunye nomsebenzi wangaphambi kokulungiselela kunye nokuququzelela kuza ngokwenene kuzala umntwana, kwaye emva koko uzifumanele usekhaya kwizithukuthuku ezibuza ukuba yintoni elandelayo eza kulandela. Okanye uzama ukumisela indlela yokwenza konke izinto kwiintsuku ezimbalwa onazo phambi kokuba ubuyele emsebenzini.

Inokuziva ngathi ikho konke ukulungiswa okuzayo ngaphambili umntwana, umphumo kufuneka ngokufanayo uxakeke. Kwaye ke, siyayigcwalisa, ngezinto ezinje ngezicwangciso zokuzilolonga emva komntwana kunye neeshedyuli zabantwana kunye noqeqesho lokulala kunye neeklasi zomculo wosana kunye neeshedyuli zokuba uphinde uzinyamekele.

Ngesizathu esithile, kubonakala ngathi silangazelela ukubanomntwana njengeblip nje yomzuzwana kubomi bomfazi- cinga iiDuchess Kate encumile phezu kwalawo manyathelo elitye kwilokhwe yakhe ecinezelweyo kunye neenwele ezirhabaxa- endaweni yokuyiphatha ngendlela efanele ukuba yiyo uphathwe: njengokuza kwisigebenga, ukrakra, kuhlala kubuhlungu, yima endleleni.

Ukuba nosana kuguqula yonke into ebomini bakho, kwaye ngelixa wonke umntu egxile kosana olusandul 'ukuzalwa, impilo yomama ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokwengqondo, ngokweemvakalelo nangokwasemoyeni ayifumani xesha kunye nokubaluleka okuyifaneleyo.

Sinika abantu basetyhini ixesha elimiselweyo elingenantlonelo leeveki ezi-6 ukuba ziphinde zibuye, xa lilithuba elaneleyo lokuba isibeleko sakho sibuyele kubungakanani baso bangaphambili. Oku kuyityeshela into yokuba yonke into emzimbeni wakho isabuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo kwaye ubomi bakho ngokuqinisekileyo busengxakini ngokupheleleyo.

Ke ndithi lixesha lokuba abantu basetyhini bafune utshintsho - ngokubhengeza ukuba emva kosana, asizukwenza nto.

Asiyi kwenza nto ngaphandle kokubeka ubuthongo kwindawo yokuqala ebomini bethu.

Asizukwenza nto ngenkangeleko yethu ukuba asinamandla okukhathalela.

Asiyi kwenza nto ekunikezeni i-toot ephaphazelayo ukuba zibukeka njani izisu zethu, okanye okwenziwa ngamathanga ethu, okanye ukuba iinwele zethu ziwela ngaphandle.

Asiyi kwenza nto ngaphandle kokubeka phambili ukuphumla, ukubuyela kwimeko yesiqhelo, kunye nempilo, ecaleni kweentsana zethu.

Yintoni engenzi nto njengomama omtsha ijongeka ngathi

Ukuba oku kuvakala kuyonqena kuwe, okanye woyike ngaphakathi, ucinga, "ngekhe ndiyenze loo nto!" ndivumele ndikuqinisekise ukuba ayisiyiyo, kwaye unakho, kwaye mhlawumbi okubaluleke ngakumbi, kufanele.

Kuya kufuneka ngenxa yokuba ungenzi "nto" njengomama emva kokubeleka wenza yonke into.

Kuba masibe yinyani- kusenokwenzeka ukuba kusafuneka usebenze. Ndiyathetha, i-diapers ayizithengi. Kwaye nokuba unethamsanqa lokufumana ikhefu lokuya kubeleka, kukho lonke olo xanduva owawunalo ngaphambi kokuba ubeleke. Njengabanye abantwana okanye abazali obakhathaleleyo okanye olawula nje umzi ongayekanga ngenxa yokuba uhambise umntwana.

Ke akukho nto ayisiyiyo kwaphela. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba bekunjalo akukho nto eyongezelelweyo. Akusekho ngaphezulu nangaphaya kwaye akusayi kubakho, "Ewe, kunjalo ndinganceda," kwaye ndingasaziva ndiziva ndinetyala ngokuhlala ekhaya.

Ukwenza nto kunokubonakala ngathi kulungile kwaye ungaziboni ukuba ungubani, okanye ufuna ukuba yintoni, okanye ukuba ikamva lizakubamba ngantoni na ngalo mzuzu.

Ukungenzi nto njengomama omtsha kunokuthetha ukuba xa unethuba uchitha eyona yure ubambe usana lwakho kwaye uluma i-Netflix kwaye ungazami enye into kuba unika umzimba wakho ixesha lokuphumla. Oko kunokuthetha ukuvumela iiyure ezimbalwa ezongezelelweyo zexesha lesikrini labanye abantwana bakho kunye nesidlo sakusasa isidlo sangokuhlwa kabini kwiveki enye kuba ukutya okuziinkozo kulula.

Ungenzi nto njengomama kuthetha ukudibana nomntwana wakho. Kuthetha ukwenza ubisi ngomzimba wakho okanye ukuchitha amandla akho amancinci uxuba iibhotile. Kuthetha ukunceda umntwana wakho omncinci ukuba afunde malunga nehlabathi elibajikelezileyo kwaye abe liziko lendalo yomntu okwexeshana nje elifutshane, elincinci.

Oomama abakwaziyo, ukuthatha ukuma bengenzi nto kunokusinceda sonke siphinde sibuyele ukuba inqanaba lasemva kokubeleka lifanele ukuba liphi: ixesha lokuphumla, lokufumana kwakhona, kunye nelokuphilisa, ukuze sikwazi ukubonakala somelele kunakuqala.

Ekugqibeleni ndifunde njani ukwenza nantoni na emva kokubeleka

Ndiya kuvuma kuwe ukuba kwandithatha abantwana abahlanu ngaphambi kokuba ekugqibeleni ndizinike imvume yokwenza nantoni na kwinqanaba lasemva kokubeleka. Ngabo bonke abanye abantwana bam, bendisoloko ndiziva ndinetyala ukuba andikwazi ukugcina ishedyuli yam "yesiqhelo" yokuhlamba iimpahla kunye nokuzilolonga nokudlala nabantwana kunye nokuzonwabisa.

Ngandlela thile, engqondweni yam, bendicinga ukuba ndiza kufumana uhlobo oluthile lwamanqaku ongezelelweyo okuvuka ukuphuma phaya nosana ngalunye.

Ndenze izinto ezinje ngokubuya ndibuyele kwisikolo segrad xa owam wokuqala wayeselusana, ndizithatha zonke xa ndiphumile kunye nohambo, kwaye nditsiba ndibuyela ngqo emsebenzini ngokukhawuleza. Kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha, bendisokola iingxaki zasemva kokubeleka ndide ndilale esibhedlele kabini.

Kundithathe ixesha elide ukufika apha, kodwa ndingatsho ukuba ngalo mntwana wokugqibela, ndaye ndabona ukuba ukwenza "akukho nto" kwinqanaba lam emva kokubeleka eli xesha bekungathethi ukuba ndiyonqena, okanye umama ombi , okanye nokuba liqabane elingalinganiyo emtshatweni wam; oko kwakuthetha ukuba ndandikrelekrele.

Ukwenza "akukho nto" akufikanga ngokulula okanye ngokwendalo kum, kodwa okokuqala ebomini bam, ndizinike imvume yokuba ndilungile ngokungazi okulandelayo.

Umsebenzi wam uthathe i-hit, i-akhawunti yam yebhanki ngokuqinisekileyo ithathe i-hit, kwaye indlu yam ayigcinwanga yaya kumgangatho oqhelekileyo nabani na oqheleyo, ukanti, ndiziva ndinoxolo olungaqhelekanga ngokwazi ukuba akukho nanye kwezi zinto uyandichaza kwakhona.

Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ndizityhale ukuze ndibe ngumama omnandi, okanye umama obuyayo, okanye umama ongaphoswa sisingqi xa enomntwana, okanye umama okwaziyo ukugcina ishedyuli yakhe exakekileyo.

Ndingangumama ongenzi kwanto ngoku - kwaye iyakulunga ngokugqibeleleyo. Ndiyakumema ukuba undijoyine.

UChaunie Brusie ngumongikazi wezabasebenzi kunye nonikezelo wajika waba ngumbhali kunye nomama omtsha osandula kuvezwa wabantwana abahlanu. Ubhala ngayo yonke into ukusuka kwezemali ukuya kwezempilo ukuba uphile njani ngezo ntsuku zokuqala zobuzali xa konke onokukwenza kukucinga ngako konke ukulala ongakufumaniyo. Mlandele apha.