Ubuntombi bobuxoki: Masicinge ngesondo njengeDisneyland

Umxholo

• "Kwaye emva kokufika kwakhe, ndamnika i-high-five ndaza ndathi, ngelizwi likaBatman, 'Umsebenzi olungileyo,' utshilo umhlobo wam, egqibezela ibali lakhe lokulala okokuqala. Ndineendidi zonke zeengcinga, kodwa ubukhulu becala, bendifuna amava am abe njalo.
• Ukukholelwa kububhanxa (kunye nobundlobongela) "iimvavanyo zobuntombi"
• Umonakalo wemiyalezo exubeneyo
• Ukuthatha indlela eyahlukileyo: Njani xa kuthelekiswa nini
• “Umhlaba Ongasiyo-Ntombi Enyulu”: Ngaba yeyona ndawo imyoli emhlabeni?

"Kwaye emva kokufika kwakhe, ndamnika i-high-five ndaza ndathi, ngelizwi likaBatman, 'Umsebenzi olungileyo,' utshilo umhlobo wam, egqibezela ibali lakhe lokulala okokuqala. Ndineendidi zonke zeengcinga, kodwa ubukhulu becala, bendifuna amava am abe njalo.

Indlela ngaphambi kokuba ndiyazi ukuba yintoni isondo, ndandisazi ukuba kukho izinto abafazi ababengafanelekanga ukuzenza okanye ngaphambi komtshato. Njengomntwana, ndabona "i-Ace Ventura: Xa iNdalo ibiza." Kukho indawo apho indoda iphuma ngaphandle kwendlu ekhala ukuba umfazi wakhe wayesele ehluthwe. Kwiminyaka eyi-5, ndandisazi ukuba wenze into embi.

Ndifunde ngesondo kwinkampu yecawa, mhlawumbi ngenxa yokuba kwakulula kubazali bam ukunika omnye umntu uxanduva lwentetho. Kwibanga lesibhozo, mna nabahlobo bam safundiswa malunga nokuba kutheni kufuneka silinde de sitshate ukuze silale. Imixholo yayiquka "Ndalinda umntu obalulekileyo kwaye kufanelekile" kunye "nendlela uMfundisi XYZ alufumene ngayo uthando lobomi babo ngokuhlala nyulu." Ezi njongo zilungileyo zenze ukuba iimbono zam zibe mbi.

Ukukholelwa kububhanxa (kunye nobundlobongela) "iimvavanyo zobuntombi"

Ngo-2013, iNkundla ePhakamileyo yase-India yagqiba ekubeni ikhuphe umyalelo wovavanyo lweminwe emibini. Kuyabonakala ukuba, ukuba ugqirha unokufaka iminwe emibini ngaphakathi kwixhoba lodlwengulo, oko kwakuthetha ukuba uyavuma ukulala ngesondo. Ilizwe laseGeorgia lisenesiko elibizwa ngokuba yenge, apho umyeni abonisa iphepha eligcwele igazi kwizalamane zakhe njengobungqina bobuntombi.

Olu vavanyo lobuntombi kulindeleke kuphela kubafazi. Ngelixa ukuvavanywa ngokwasemzimbeni ngoochwephesha bezonyango kungenzeki ngokucacileyo eNtshona, sisekhona neengcinga zesini ezivavanya iingqondo zethu. Jonga nje intsomi yengoma.

Kwiminyaka engama-20 yobomi bam ndiyakholelwa ukuba iculo lomphawu wobuntombi bakhe. Ukukholelwa koku kudale konke endikulindeleyo malunga nokwabelana ngesondo- ndade ndabona ividiyo kaLaci Green ethi "Awunako ukuyikopa i-Cherry yakho" ngo-2012. Kule vidiyo, uGreen uthetha ngento eyiyo ngokwasemzimbeni kwaye anike iingcebiso ngokulala nomntu okokuqala ixesha.

Ukubukela ividiyo njengomfundi wasekholejini kundenze ndaphinda ndacinga ngeenkolelo ezindala:

1. Ngaba ndide ndilahlekelwe yiyo nantoni na ukuba umakishi wobuntombi-iculo elivalela ukungena - alikho ngokwenene?
2. Ukuba, ngokomndilili, i-hymen ayikho njengomqobo, kutheni ndikholelwa ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo ukwenzakala okokuqala?
3. Kutheni ulwimi olujikeleze ubuntombi lunobundlobongela?

Kuyo yonke imfundo yamabanga aphakamileyo kunye nekholeji bendilindele ukuba okokuqala intombazana ibandakanye iintlungu okanye igazi, kodwa kuba iculo alikho njengesithintelo somzimba, emva koko ngokwesayensi, akukho ndlela yakuxelela umntu ukuba uyintombi. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba sixoke sithi iintlungu ziqhelekile kumzamo wamapolisa abasetyhini kunye nemizimba yabo?

Umonakalo wemiyalezo exubeneyo

Ingxoxo ngobuntombi ibinemiyalezo exubeneyo. Ewe kuhlala kukho ezopolitiko, inkolo, inkcubeko, okanye imeko yemfundo, kodwa nakwezo meko, samkele ithoni enobundlongondlongo (okanye zombini). Amagama anjenge- "deflowering" okanye "popping her cherry" okanye "breaking your hymen" aphoswa gwenxa. Abantu bathi "ukuphulukana" nobuntombi bakho ngokungathi yinto embi, kodwa akukho sivumelwano malunga nokuba kuthetha ntoni ukuphulukana.

Abanye bajolise xa usabelana ngesondo okokuqala. Omnye ucebisa ukuba ukulala ngesondo kwangoko kuneziphumo ezibi kwimpilo yesondo. Ikwacebisa ukuba ulwaluko lwasemva kwexesha (xa uneminyaka engama-21 nangaphezulu) nalo luyaphikisana nesiphelo sophando olwenziwa ngo-2012 yiYunivesithi yaseTexas eAustin. Emva kokulandela i-1,659 yabantakwenu abathandana besini esinye ukusuka ebusheni ukuya ebuntombini, abaphandi be-UT Austin bafumanisa ukuba abo batshatileyo kwaye babelana ngesondo emva kweminyaka eyi-19 babenethuba lokonwaba kubudlelwane babo nakwezesondo.

Ukuthatha indlela eyahlukileyo: Njani xa kuthelekiswa nini

Ukulindelwa ekujikelezeni "ukuphulukana nobuntombi bakho" (okuhlala kwenziwa ngabahlobo, ukukhuliswa, kunye nokuvezwa kwemithombo yeendaba) kuchaphazela amava ngakumbi kunokuba sicinga. Ngaphezulu kwesihlandlo esinye, abahlobo bandixelele, "Ixesha lokuqala lihlala lincanca." Emva kokuba umhlobo wam andixelele indlela "abulahle ngayo" ubuntombi bakhe (isiganeko esimnandi esiphela nge-high-five), ndaziva ndinomona. Wayezithemba kwaye engakhathali. Nam, bendifuna ukuyiphepha ingxelo yakudala ethi "iqhotyoshelwe emva kwesondo".

Ukwabelane ukuba ugqirha wakhe wamanina wothuswe yimeko yelungu lobufazi. Yayikrazukile kwaye ibabuhlungu iiveki ezimbini, endicinga ukuba yinto eqhelekileyo ngelo xesha kuba ndicinga ukuba ubuntombi yinto engumqobo. Mhlawumbi bekufanele ukuba uxelele iqabane lakhe malunga nokuba uyintombi, kodwa ubuntombi abunamsebenzi kuye- nokuba kwimeko yobomi bakhe okanye ukuba kufanelekile ukuba itshintshe indlela amphethe ngayo (isini esibi akufuneki sibe kuku- ngaphandle kwemvume). Ingcebiso yakhe kum: "Qiniseka ukuba unxilile xa usabelana ngesondo okokuqala. Kuyanceda ukuba ukhululeke ukuze kungonzakalisi kangako. "

Akufanelekanga ukuba ibe yingcebiso awayecinga ukuba ingcono ukunika. Kodwa kwakunjalo, ngenxa yentsomi yobuntombi. Yonke into awayeyifuna, njengomhlobo olungileyo, yayikukuqinisekisa ukuba andinawo amava afana nawakhe.

Mhlawumbi kungenxa yokuba kunqabile ukuba sijongane Njani Kuya kufuneka sizive malunga nokwabelana ngesondo ngokubanzi ngaphambi kokuba kwabelane ngesondo nokuba abantu basetyhini baphambukile kulindelo lwabo. Olunye uphononongo luye lwajonga ukuqala kwabantu besini esahlukileyo kwaye kwafumanisa ukuba abasetyhini abonelisekileyo ngokwasengqondweni ngexesha labo lokuqala nabo baziva benetyala. Bacacisile ukuba ukuphuhlisa ubudlelwane bezesondo ngenkathalo kunye nokuzithemba kuzisa ulwaneliseko ngakumbi kubantu abaneminyaka eli-18 ukuya kwengama-25 ubudala.

Ukuba nengxelo engahambelaniyo ukusuka kumaxesha okutshata ukuya kulwimi olunobundlobongela "lokungena" kunokonakalisa ulindelo lomntu kunye namava, okokuqala okanye hayi.

Olunye uphononongo lubuze abafundi abangama-331 abafundela isidanga malunga nexesha lokuqala lokulala kwabo kunye nokusebenza kwabo ngokwesondo ngoku. Bafumanise ukuba abantu abanamava okuqala aqinisekileyo banamanqanaba aphezulu okwoneliseka. Intsingiselo kukuba nangona amava akho okuqala ezesondo eyinto nje ebalulekileyo ebomini, isengayijonga indlela ojonga ngayo kunye nokujonga iminyaka yokwabelana ngesondo phantsi komgca.

Ezinye iimvakalelo endicinga ukuba kufuneka zifundiswe? Kunjani ukuziva ukhuselekile. Ndikhululekile. Imincili. Uvuyo kuba ufumana amava, ungalahli isazisi.

“Umhlaba Ongasiyo-Ntombi Enyulu”: Ngaba yeyona ndawo imyoli emhlabeni?

Ukuqala kwam ukukhankanya ndiyintombi enyulu kuloo mntu wayeza kuba ngowam wokuqala, wathi, "Hayi, ke uyi-unicorn." Kodwa andizange. Andizange ndibe njalo. Kutheni le nto abantu bebhala ubunyulu ngendlela eyenza ukuba abantu bazive bengafunwa emva kwexesha lokuqala?

Njenge "nyathi," bendiziva ndibhidekile kuba kubonakala ukuba abantu bayandifuna. Intombi enyulu engama-25 yayifanele ukuba ibe yinto eyahlukileyo nenqabileyo, kodwa kunye nolondolozo lwexesha elide. Kwaye xa ndade ndalala ngesondo, ndaqonda (kwaye mhlawumbi wenza njalo, naye) ukuba wonke umntu eneneni lihashe. Ke masilibale isikweko se-unicorn kuba ii-unicorn ziyintsomi nje, nazo.

Uyazi ukuba yintoni eyinyani? Disneyland, ukusukela ngo-1955.

Ixesha lokuqala eDisneyland kunokuziva ngathi yi-nirvana okanye i-anticlimactic ngokupheleleyo. Kuxhomekeka kwizinto ezahlukeneyo: into abantu abakuxelele yona ngeDisneyland, ohamba naye, uhambo lwendlela oluya apho, imozulu, kunye nezinye izinto ezingaphaya kolawulo lwakho.

Nantsi into, nangona kunjalo: ungaphinda uhambe.Nokuba lihamba njani ixesha lakho lokuqala, akufuneki ukuba libe lelokugqibela. Fumana umhlobo ongcono, uhlengahlengise usuku olungenaxinzelelo, okanye ubala nje ixesha lakho lokuqala njengamava okufunda kuba ubungazi ukuba ubumele ukukhwela izinto ezicothayo kuqala kunye neSplash Mountain kamva.

Kwaye olo hlobo lomlingo wokwamkela ubuntombi bakho njengamava kwaye hayi imeko yokuba kuyo. Nokuba okokuqala, okwesibini, okanye okwesithathu bekungalunganga, ungasoloko ukhetha ukuzama kwakhona. Okanye unokukhetha ukuba ungaze uye kwiDisneyland kwaphela. Abanye abantu bathi kugqithisile, kunjalo. Eyona ndawo imyoli emhlabeni kulapho uzive ukhululekile, nokuba oko kuthetha ukuba awuzange ube nomnqweno wokuyenza.

UChristal Yuen ungumhleli kwiHealthline.com. Xa engahleleli okanye engabhali, uchitha ixesha kunye nenja-yekati yakhe, esiya kwiikonsathi, kwaye ezibuza ukuba kutheni iifoto zakhe ze-Unsplash zihlala zisetyenziswa kumanqaku malunga nokuya exesheni.